Max sighed. "I'm not really worried about how fast or slow it happens," he admitted. "I just don't know where to start. It's all I have been for as long as I can remember. When I get dressed to go out, I put my gun on by rote even when I'm not hunting. What I told Josh is true. I don't know how to be anything else. It isn't so simple as not taking my gun with me everywhere. I wish it was, but I'm not so dumb to think it is."
It was taking away a part of him. Max knew that, but for a chance at salvation, to not be a killer anymore, he'd live with that void. Fill it up with something good. "Untrain, retrain, whatever I need to do," he told her. "I just don't want to be like this anymore, Jayne. I don't want to feel like the world is full of monsters ready to jump out at every innocent soul walking down the street. I don't want to pull a gun on somebody because they tell me they're different. It's wrong and I'm scared and don't even know where to start. Josh and our parents trained us. I did what I was told and never questioned it for a minute. So, I'm just- lost, I guess."