hislittledoll (hislittledoll) wrote in supernextdoor, @ 2011-11-12 03:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | 09.16.11, quinn, quinn and samuel, samuel |
I'd like to keep my options open
Who: Sam and Quinn
What: A night at home
When: Friday Night
Where: Sam's home
Warning: Nothing but some sadness?
That night was a difficult one before it even began. Samuel knew that his sister was going to be facing her death and no matter how much she might have deserved it, it didn't make it any easier to let her go. She was his only sibling and he'd just found her again and now she was dying because of whatever had happened in the time since he'd seen her last as a newborn vampire and now. He felt guilty more than any other emotion. If he'd just been able to help her, to find her and protect her, then things might have turned out differently. Yes, he definitely felt guilty. Even more so when the queen had given him that ring before he left the palace. He was grateful for the ring, knowing it would let him walk out into the sunlight, but he felt guilty for having this token of gratitude for the death of his own sister. Though that might have not been how the queen had phrased it, he felt that way. He wasn't a cold hearted person deep down and his stomach hurt to think of Viola every time his eyes fell on the ring. Of course the thought of seeing the sunrise and sunset again for the first time in decades, that made the sting a little less.
In an effort to take his mind off of Viola and what was going on at the palace, Sam chose to focus on Quinn. He'd bought her a necklace a long while back and he thought that tonight would be just as good as any night to give it to her. He found her in the living room not long after he awoke and he smiled at her as he walked closer to the girl. "I've got something for you." he murmured as he let his thumb run over the front of the necklace. "A present."
Quinn was trying to find some kind of solace in anything. Something familiar, which usually meant that she would be found with a pen and paper along with the guitar she had. Except she was drawing blanks in anything she even thought to put down on the paper. She’d hardly slept, and she kind of looked like she hadn’t, with just a tinge of dark circles under her eyes. But at least she hadn’t bothered Samuel when she climbed out of the bed hours before he had. She glanced up to him when he said he had something for her, the guitar being slid off of her lap and put aside. “A present?” she questioned, as her eyes flickered to his, “When did you .. did I not see that you left?” Now she wondered on if she was that out of it that he was able to go and come back without her knowing.
He shook his head a little. "No. I didn't leave. I've actually had this present for quite a while now. I wasn't really sure when I should give it to you, but after everything that's happened... well, tonight just felt right." he told her as he moved towards the girl and slipped behind her. Carefully he put the necklace on her then lifted her hair to be out of the way of it. "It's for everything you've done for me just by being here." he told her. "I hope you like it, but if you don't, I can find something else for you that suits you better..." he commented.
She let out a huge breath of relief. Even though she was distancing herself, which was quite obvious by now, she was also doing the opposite. She was slightly going to the point that she didn’t want Samuel to leave the house either. Which would make the times they’d need groceries or something quite interesting since she’d probably refuse to go and then try to keep Sam from leaving too. When the necklace touched her skin, she saw faint images of things that had no real concern, the necklace being made, hands that it had passed through. Little things that faded just as quick, and definitely didn’t scare the girl. Even object sometimes had some little story they wanted to tell. Once it was fastened, she lifted up the charm on the chain, looking at it before she glanced up to him. She had to turn her head some since he was behind her. “No .. I like it. It’s beautiful.” she told him, her fingers trailing over the numbers on it, and the wings of the dragonfly. “Thank you, Samuel .. but you didn’t have to get me anything.”
He smiled a little when she finally told him that she liked it. He was glad of that, though he would have found something else if she hadn't. "I know I didn't have to get you something, but I wanted to." he explained to her as he let her hair fall against her back once more and moved to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I feel like sometimes I don't tell you how much I appreciate you. This is just a little way that I can help you remember how much I care even if I might forget to verbalize it."
“You could have just waited until my birthday, then you’d have an excuse to get me something.” she pointed out. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like surprises, because she did. It was just in the mood she’d been in, it made most things she spoke kind of sullen sounding. And he kissed her forehead before she could flinch away. She’d been trying to be as careful as possible now to not let herself get any more visions. Even to the point that she was covering up more than she used to, wearing gloves in the house, which was a habit she’d been broken of quite awhile ago. “I know that you appreciate me. And I know that you care Sam, so you don’t have to feel like that, like you don’t tell me enough.” she made a little face and then scooped up the guitar to put back on its stand, and put the pen and paper on a table. “Does it actually work like a clock, or is that just for decoration?”
He frowned a little at her slightly distant responses. "It works like a clock." he told her. "You can wind it up so you never have to worry about finding batteries for it." he explained as he moved to sit on the sofa. "Have I done something wrong?" he finally asked her. "You've been distant from me for a while now and I want to fix whatever it is I've done to make you feel like you've got to be this way."
She looked that the necklace again, seeing now where to wind it up at. Plus, it was better to look at the gift she had gotten than it was to see Sam frown. She let herself lower to sit on the floor, she wanted to go and curl next to him on the sofa, so badly she wanted that. But she couldn’t help it, and she thought he would have known why she had been distant. But when he asked, her eyes shot up and looked at him. “No, you haven’t done anything wrong.” she told him, which was true, he hadn’t. She looked back down at the necklace, not bothering to wind it up, she liked the fact that it was frozen on a time. “And it hasn’t been that long that I’ve been distant. I just .. I can’t get what I saw out of my head.” she told him.
He nodded a little at her response. He knew that was the reason but he supposed he just needed her to say it aloud. "It's over now." he told her. "It's been dealt with. There's no reason to shy from touching me because of an incident that's been put to rest, is there?" he questioned her. Of course if she said she needed more time, he'd gladly give it to her.
“It isn’t over. Not how you think.” she told him, shaking her head a little, while she pulled her knees to her chest. “Just because it’s been dealt with doesn’t mean I don’t still see it.” she swallowed before slightly hiding her face at her knees. “And I’m always going to see things, always. That isn’t going to change. So I could end up seeing worse. I .. I was made to be apart from everything, so I don’t know why you have to include me, you should have just left me alone.” she squeaked out, not exactly making sense even to her.
"I could compel you to forget." he told her, though it was more of a suggestion than anything. At least until she commented about how he should have left her alone. Standing up from the sofa, he nodded a little. "I know you need time and I'm prepared to give you as much as you desire." he said as he headed towards the door. "Just know that I'm still here, no matter how much you might not want me to be."
She looked up at him then, when he mentioned compelling her to forget. And part of her wanted that .. to be able to have things go back to how it was before this whole mess. But it was more than just the fact that she couldn’t get the images out of her head, it was that she hated what she was, and there was no changing that. She wanted to be normal, to be able to touch things without worry. And she knew he couldn’t fix that. When she saw where he was headed, she was on her feet faster than she thought even she was capable of, and moving to him, grabbing his arm with her gloved hands. “No .. you can’t go.” she whimpered out, biting down on her lower lip and looking very much like she was about to break.
He blinked at her as he let his hand fall away from the door and turned to look at the girl. "Why can't I go?" he asked her as he glanced back at the door and then to her once more. "You need time to deal with what you see and I can't make everything go away no matter how much I want to. I don't want to keep hurting you and I figured a walk would help me clear my head and give you a chance to do the same."
She just looked at him, very much looking as if she was about to cry. “Please, just stay inside.” she spoke, it coming out to sound more like a beg. “If you think I need to be alone, I’ll go hide in my room, just please?” she offered, “I’m sorry, I’ll pretend to be happy until I am again, just please .. please don’t go out there.” It should have been obvious then that she was also now projecting her agoraphobia onto Samuel as well. But even if she really believed that because of her ‘gift’ she was meant to be alone .. she wanted to be with him, and for him to be safe. And inside was the safest place.
He narrowed his eyes at her a little and reached out to catch her by her shoulders as he let his face get level with hers. "Quinny, sweetheart, you have to calm down." he told her. "I'm not going to make you pretend to be anything. If you're not happy, you're not happy. You don't have to play games to make me feel better." he assured her. "I just want to know that you're alright, and you're obviously not alright because it's one thing if you don't want to go outside, darling, but I'm not going to get hurt if I'm out there." he assured her. "I wish I could help you understand that."
She looked at him, her eyes glittering with the threat of tears to fall. “You don’t know that, you could get hurt. Just because you’re a vampire doesn’t mean you can’t get hurt. Please stay?” she told him, the question coming out as a whimpered little whisper. Anyone with normal hearing probably wouldn’t be able to make out her asking him again to stay. But one little benefit from this little scene was the fact she had something else to focus on other than the self loathing she had been experiencing just a few moments before.
He let out a soft sigh before pulling the girl into his arms. He needed to get her some help. He'd been dawdling about doing so for far too long and tonight only proved how much she needed it. She was terrified and practically in tears at the thought of him leaving and that just wouldn't do. "I'll stay. For now." he told her. "But you've got to understand that I am going to have to leave sooner or later."
She almost pushed away when he pulled her into his arms, but she didn’t. If it would keep him in the house, she’d let him. And it was after that then she realised a little bit on how much she might be needing the simple things like that .. being held. She leaned into him, her arms wrapping around him as if she could hold him there. She shook her head, “No you don’t. We have a phone, I can live off of take out .. and they deliver. And you have me, so no delivery needed. All the bills .. those can be paid by phone or computer. And the people that wanna buy the things you fix up can come here too.” she told him. Her voice just a little shaky cause she was trying still not to cry.
"Shhh..." he whispered, shaking his head a little as he held tight to her. "I'm not going anywhere just yet." he promised her. He felt like they'd come so far and now they were right back where they started all over again and it hurt to think it was partially his fault. She'd seen the visions because of him after all. "Don't fret over this anymore tonight..."
She buried her face against him, trying to not let him notice the slight tremble that she had as she was trying to keep from crying. “I love you and just want you safe.” she spoke, even though it was extremely muffled because of her face being at his chest. She knew she didn’t really blame him for anything, it was just she blamed herself so much that it kind of just spilled over and got aimed at him too. Then she slightly jerked back to look at him, her face just a bit splotchy from trying to not cry. “Can you compel me to not get visions anymore?” she asked, not even sure if that was possible, but she had to ask.
He blinked a little at her question. He wasn't really sure if he could or not. He supposed, in theory, it would be possible. "I'm not sure." he told her honestly. "I know I can compel you to forget the visions you've already had, but I'm not sure if I can compel you to not have something that you've had your whole life." he explained. "If you want me to help you forget, I'm willing." he went on. "But I'd have to look into being able to compel you not to have visions..."
She gave a little frown, because she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be compelled just to forget what she had seen. Even if it was an option. She didn’t want to have to see things anymore. That was what she really wanted. “What if you .. if I was like you .. would they go away?” she asked then, something she didn’t think she even wanted. And even if it would take away the visions, if it could .. would she really want to trade something she didn’t want for another thing she didn’t know if she wanted?
He furrowed his brow at her. "I wouldn't turn you." he told her, shaking his head a little. "I wouldn't want to take your humanity away from you." Even if he'd been willing to give up his own, he wouldn't have taken away hers. "And there's no real chance that you'd lose your ability anyway." he went on. "There are some vampires who have abilities like yours." he explained.
Now here was the odd thing, she didn’t know why that bothered her. She doubted she’d want to be a vampire, but the fact that he so quickly told her that he wouldn’t turn her bothered her. “You wouldn’t be taking away my humanity, you still have yours. You’re nice, and probably more human than most of the people I’ve met.” she sighed and shook her head. “You’d be so perfectly content with my growing old, and me dying?” she asked him then.
He sighed. "No. I won't be 'content' with you growing old and dying, but I'd much rather you not be damned to spend eternity walking the earth miserably with me." he pointed out, shaking his head a little as he led her back to the living room. He really needed to sit down. She was trying to kill him - bad pun - with all these damn questions.
“Why would I be miserable with you if I did walk eternity or whatever?” she questioned him, her brows knitting slightly. She let herself be led back to the living room and to sit down on the sofa with him. “Do you really think you’re damned? And if you wouldn’t be content with my growing old and dying then why put yourself through that?” she continued on. Sure, it was probably mean that she kept battering him with the questions, but she needed to know. And in a way she wanted him to just go ‘fine, I’ll turn you’ and then she could tell him that she doubted she wanted it. But she wanted the option to make her own damn decisions on the matter.
Sam sighed and lifted his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You're miserable now." he pointed out. "Everything is pretty much heightened when you're a vampire and if you're afraid to go outside now how will you ever drink?" he asked her. It was a valid point after all. Not that he wanted to be having this conversation with her for all the gold in the universe. "I know I'm damned." he went on. "Just look at what became of my sister. Who's to say that I'm not halfway to the crazy that she found?" he questioned. "And no, I won't be content with you growing old, but I'd much rather you live a full happy life than be damned like me."
“I can’t help that I’m miserable now. I don’t like the idea of seeing things because people leave remnants of themselves on objects. Or the fact that I guess other people can be a gateway for the visions that have nothing to do with them at all.” she pointed out, her voice having just a bit of a bite to it without meaning to. Which was odd for her, because she usually never tried to upset others in that way. The whole going outside thing stumped her, so she chose to ignore it. Because she didn’t know how to answer that. “You’re not your sister. And you never will be Samuel. You know that, and don’t you ever fucking compare yourself to her.” she nearly yelled, but her eyes going a little wide after she spoke it and then slumping a little with the immediate guilt that followed. She couldn’t help it, it was ingrained in her since she was with the vampire before Sam, if she raised her voice, or tried to assert herself in any manner .. then she had been punished. Sure, Sam was different .. but she’d never really gotten like this before. Oddly enough it was sort of a glimpse at the person she was back at the orphanage .. a rather opinionated and rambunctious person.
She sighed, “You’re not damned. Sure you have to drink blood to survive, big woop .. I have to eat to survive. Which usually includes the slaughtering of animals. You on the other hand, you don’t kill anyone. Big difference. And you help people, people you don’t even know. Because you think they’re being treated unfairly. Even if it was a bad trade for you.” she told him, speaking about herself in the last bit. “You’re wanting me to live a full and happy life .. but put yourself in my shoes .. the only happy and fulfilling part of it is you. You’re the only good thing to have happened to me.”
He listened to her speak, a little surprised because this was really the most she'd spoken in quite a long time. He didn't know she felt so strongly about all she had to say until she practically yelled at him for talking badly about himself. "You were the best trade that I ever made." he told her, choosing not to even bring up his sister again. It was easier that way. Reaching out again, Sam pulled Quinn's body against his own and just held onto her. "Don't ever think that you were something bad that happened to me or a burden that I have to bare because you're not." he assured her. "You've helped me more than you know. Given me a new prospective on life and love and being able to trust someone."
She didn’t even make to move this time when she was pulled against him, and she didn’t have the urge to. “But you still think you’re damned, even if you say I’ve helped you.” she sighed, and rested her head against him now. “I don’t want to be scared to touch you anymore. I don’t want to be scared to touch anything, everything .. It makes everything so hard. Almost unbearably hard. If being .. damned meant I didn’t have to fear touching you .. showing you how deeply I care for you .. then I’d do it, even if I don’t think I really want the whole eternity thing. But I’m just so .. so tired of being scared.”
Sam let out a little sigh. "I feel less damned when I'm around you." he murmured truthfully. Perhaps he didn't feel entirely like he was saved from a possible hellish eternity, he did feel less damned to know that for a little while he'd have Quinn with him. "I wouldn't want you to do something so permanent if you're unsure and I know that you are, Quinny. I understand that you're afraid and I wish I could do something to make that fear stop." he breathed.
Quinn didn’t know what to say anymore, because she doubted now that she’d get the answers that she wanted, or the options. “There isn’t really any way, is there..” she spoke softly with a sigh, “I’m always going to be scared to touch you, to touch anything outside. Sometimes with you, I can push the fear aside, and you help me to forget that I’m scared .. but it comes back. I know I wont be able to handle it if I see things like .. what I saw before. I wont, I can’t. I would rather .. no, not going to finished that because that isn’t right either.” she frowned, letting out a breath. Her eyes closed for a moment, as if trying to figure something out. “I’m sorry .. I shouldn’t be making you worry .. I should be the one trying to support you right now, you have more going on than my … issues.”
He let out a soft little sigh. "Maybe I could compel you to not be afraid of your visions..." he thought, though that fear was what he thought made her the most human. Not that he thought he could keep her from being afraid of any and all the things she saw, but he wanted to quell her fears.
She shook her head, “No .. because unless you can get rid of them completely, I don’t want you to have to do that. I don’t know why, it doesn’t make sense to me either, on why its alright to get rid of the problem even if it isn’t possible, but not the pieces if that is possible.” she spoke turning her head a little to look at him. “Thank you for offering though..”
"I've never met a woman as confusing as you." he breathed, shaking his head a little though a smile found it's way across his lips. "You're a strange one, Quinny." Not that he really minded. If anything he quite liked that about her.
“I know.” she admitted, “But I just don’t want you to have to compel me over and over again. It doesn’t seem like it would be a good thing to do.” she told him, but snuggled more into him. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “Do you think we could order some kind of food … I haven’t eaten much since Wednesday.” she admitted, though she hadn’t slept much either, but that was kinda obvious.
He nodded a little. "I'll ask the queen if it's possible to compel it away entirely." he told her. Among other things. Maybe Elizabeth was right about Quinn needing some help and he intended on calling her at some point later to ask her about that therapist she'd suggested. Maybe it would do Quinn some good to have someone to talk to that wasn't him. Hopefully the guy made house calls. "But until then we can just have a nice night in and we'll order in something. Do you want pizza or maybe Chinese?" he asked her.
Her nose scrunched up right when he said pizza, “Chinese.” she then said, which was an easy thing considering there were only the two options given. She doubted she’d eat much of anything, but she needed to at least start attempting. “It wont bother her, will it, that you’ll be asking about me when there is probably other things that need to be taken care of?” she asked him then, just another thing that she could start fretting about.
"Chinese it is then." he told her as he gently brushed his fingers over her hair. "No. I don't think it will bother the queen. She's an exceptional woman and she's concerned for you." he admitted to her. There was no point in keeping that from her. "Besides, it's just a question and it can't hurt to ask." he pointed out.
She didn’t quite understand why the queen would be concerned about her, it wasn’t as if she was anyone of major importance. But she gave a little nod, “Alright .. if you don’t think it will bother her. But .. she’s concerned?” she slightly squeaked the question out, as if it was a bad thing that she was so messed up that it was concerning someone as important as a queen.
He nodded a little. "About your fears of leaving the house." he explained. "She thinks it'd be a good idea for you to see someone about it." he went on. "And I think that maybe she's right, but... I don't want to force to you to see anyone, but I think that it might help you." he told her, his fingers lightly stroking her hair. "Would you be willing to talk to a therapist about your fears?" he asked her.
She leaned into the touch that he was giving her hair, it was a move that she didn’t even think about. But if she realized what she did, she would at least be glad that there was that slight barrier of her hair. If Sam hadn’t mentioned that he thought it would help and that he thought the queen was right .. Quinn would have outright refused. She nodded slightly, “If you think it will help, okay.” she spoke, not sure if it would really help, “I’m sorry I’m so much trouble Sam..”
"You're not that much trouble, I just... I want to do anything I can to help you." he told her. "I want to make things easier for you and if there's something that a therapist can help you with, then I think it's worth a shot, don't you?"
Quinn looked at him then, as if she was wanting to agree with him so badly, but something was still holding her back. “Sure, if it could help.” she spoke, and she did want some sort of help. Anything to be able to feel like a normal person and not like ..this. She relaxed a little against him, “I just don’t want to become more trouble for you than I’m worth. I know I have a lot of problems, and you’ve spent so much time trying to help me..”
"You're worth the world of trouble." he told her as he let his arm slip around her body. "You'll never be any more trouble than you're worth." he promised her. Samuel would have done anything for Quinn and this only proved it.
Quinn let out a little sigh, as her head went to settle at his shoulder, already having forgotten the little plea for food. At the moment, she didn’t want to move, and she didn’t want him to move away to go place the order. “Then can you make me a promise?” she asked him, her eyes closing for a moment because she knew that he probably wouldn’t like what she was about to do, setting him up to make a small but large promise.
"Alright." he said easily. Anything she wanted of him, Samuel would have given her. He didn't even hesitate when giving his assurance before the promise was even asked of him.
She kept her eyes closed, because she didn’t want to have the temptation to move her head to look at him while she asked, “I want you to promise .. that whether it be weeks, months, or years from now. If I ask for you to turn me, you will.” she let out, it wouldn’t be something that she’d ask for unless she really wanted it, she knew that and hoped he knew that as well. Because she doubted that even if it was a chance to get rid of the visions that she would just because of that. But she didn’t want him to just toss aside the notion of it, and not give her any choice or say in the matter.
Samuel let out a soft little sigh and frowned a bit at her request. He knew that she wouldn't ask him to turn her on a whim, she was much smarter than that, but it still hurt him to think of her not getting to live as normal a life as she could. Eventually he nodded. "Alright." he told her. "But you must promise me something in return. You will only ask me to turn you if that's truly what you want." he breathed.
When she heard the sigh, she didn’t think he would give in to the promise. She believed that he’d refuse it. But when he finally said alright and then gave his own proposition, she lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him for a long moment. “It isn’t something that I probably would ever really want, Samuel, I just need to have the option of it. To know that if I eventually do really want it, that you wont refuse me. So, that is an easy promise to give.”
He was thankful that she might not ever really want to be turned. If she needed the option, he'd give it to her. "Then you have my word that I'll turn you if you so chose." he told her, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I hope it never comes to that, but I won't refuse you."
She held her breath for a moment when he moved her hair behind her ear, not wanting something to happen if his skin grazed hers. Only letting the breath exhale out of her when nothing happened, she didn’t see anything. “Would it be so bad though if I did choose to be a vampire, to want to be with you for longer than the time I would have now?” she asked him, mainly because he was just so adamant about not wanting her to choose that life.
Samuel let his eyes wander over her face. "I would love to have an eternity with you..." he admitted. "I just... I don't want to be selfish enough to take that eternity and keep you from getting to live your life as nature intended." he explained. "I can't make your choices for you... but I'd like it if you stayed human. It's not like you can go back and change your mind."
“But it wouldn’t be selfish if it ends up being what I want, Sam. You have to see that, right?” she told him, not even sure anymore on why they were having this conversation as her mind was kind of getting muddled from the lack of sleep. “I know that I wouldn’t be able to change my mind after the fact. But as I said, I doubt I would ever want it. I just need to have the option.”
He nodded a little. "If it's what you want." he told her. "Then it won't be selfish I suppose, but I just want to be sure it's what you want. Until then I won't do so." He hoped she'd keep that in mind. "You have the option if you choose that it's what you want. I'll honor your wishes, Quinny, I promise you that."
She rested against him, her eyes closing again as her head fell against his shoulder once again. “I know, you want me to be able to grow older, maybe have kids, get sick, and all the human stuffs.” she mumbled, already partly asleep against him. But who could really blame her, she had hardly slept at all. But a few long moments later she flinched, and her eyes snapped open. It had been this way, wanting to sleep but unable to. “Do you think we could maybe watch a movie whenever the food gets here?” she asked him, “Or do you have work to do, because that’s okay too, just as long as you don’t leave..”
He did want all those things for her. All those things and more. However, if Quinn decided that she wanted to become a vampire, he couldn't very well disregard her wish, no matter how much he might have wanted to. He was aware that she was nearly asleep and frowned a bit when she snapped herself awake again. "We can watch a movie." he told her. "I'm gonna go make the call and then I'll get the movie set up. But you need to sleep soon." he murmured. "I want you to have at least a little nap and then, if you can handle it, I'd really like you to come sit on the porch with me first thing in the morning." he said, figuring he should tell her about the ring the queen had bestowed upon him.
“I’m alright Sam, I don’t need to take a nap.” she told him, almost kind of sounding like a child in the sense of not wanting to go to bed. For rather not so childish reasons. She didn’t make to move away from him though so he’d be able to get up and order the food and set up the movie. She didn’t move until he mentioned sitting outside on the porch. In. The. Morning. “You can’t, you’ll get hurt if you don’t get inside quick enough.” she whimpered out, now just thinking that he was solidifying the reasoning on why he shouldn’t go outside anymore either! He probably should have started off with the ring, and then went to the question.
"You do need a nap." he told her. "You look like you haven't slept in days and I'm well aware that you haven't." he sighed. "Can't you please humor me and at least agree to a little nap?" he pleaded with her. If she kept this up, she'd make herself sick from sleep deprivation. When she commented about how he'd get hurt and nearly went off into a fit, he sighed and lifted his hand to show her the ring the queen had given him. "Not anymore." he told her with a little smile. "The queen gave me this ring and it's spelled to let me walk in the sun without worrying about being hurt. I thought you might like to share my first sunrise in decades with me."
“I’ve slept.. sort of.” she told him, though she wasn’t sure on how true that actually was. She was at the point in the sleep deprivation that things sort of just blurred together. “I can agree to try. I’ve tried each time I’ve laid down .. but I can’t promise I will. It’s like my head wont let me.” she told him. At this point it wasn’t really her trying to force herself to stay awake anymore. Granted, she could be blamed for drinking far too much coffee once she found she couldn’t sleep. Might as well be somewhat functional. When he showed her the ring, and then told her what it was for, and what this meant .. you could visibly see the relief wash through her. “I .. I … okay.” she finally agreed, while she wouldn’t like it too much, the porch was still part of the house. And Sam would be with her. And it was him asking .. if it had been anyone else, they could have turned blue in the face asking. But she was loyal to him, and would do just about anything he’d ask of her. “So .. the sun .. it wont hurt you now?” she asked, even if he had already said just that. She just wanted to make sure she heard right.
"Well trying is as good as I can get." he told her. "So then at least try. You can come lay with me if that will help, though I feel like it just might make it worse." he sighed. Not that he liked feeling like he was part of the problem, mind, but he did. "No, the sun won't hurt me anymore." he smiled. "Which means that if you do ever want to go out, we can go in the day." he told her.
She shook her head, “You wouldn’t make it worse, or I don’t think you would.” she told him. It wasn’t as if she could sleep anywhere she had tried. Which had been on beds, sofa .. even in a bath, though she was probably lucky that nap didn’t work. She however frowned at the idea of having to go out, the fact that it would be day didn’t matter much. She hadn’t minded the living on a nocturnal schedule. “I don’t know..” she spoke then, because she really didn’t want to commit to saying she would at some point when right now she never really wanted to leave the house again.
"Well we'll try the whole sleeping thing." he told her with a little shrug. Maybe he could stroke her hair or something to help calm her down a little, enough that she could get to sleep for at least a little while. As for her not wanting to go out, day or night, he sighed. "You don't have to make any promises... it's just an option now." he explained.
She nodded, since she knew he wasn’t about to let up on the whole sleeping issue. “Alright, just no getting upset if I can’t sleep.. okay?” she added in, because she didn’t want him blaming himself. She hated the thought that he probably was, it wasn’t his fault. She didn’t see it that way, and felt guilty if she made it seem that it was. A frown tugged at her lips with the sigh that he gave. “Maybe one day .. you’ve gotten me to go out before..”
"No getting upset." he promised, nodding his head a little. He had no intentions of being upset with the girl over something that wasn't her fault. Hell, he really had no intentions of being upset with her for things that were her fault. Samuel never had been one that was all that easy to bother. "We'll see." he murmured.