Who: Justice and Lucas What: School discussions When: 10.17.11 - Monday - After School Where: Jason's home Warnings: None
Lucas had a pretty shitty day at school. Everyone had been whispering behind his back, pointing and then hushing up really fast before he got close enough to hear what they were talking about. He didn't need to hear it, however, he knew. It was because of Alanna and the clusterfuck that their relationship had been. He wondered if all of the whispering hadn't just started. He wondered if it had been going on all along but he was just too damned naive to realize it. Likely that was closer to the truth than he wanted to know. Alanna wasn't exactly pristine like he'd thought she was. She was Satan in the flesh as far as he was concerned and by the time he finished school for the day he'd decided that he couldn't go back. Not to deal with her bullshit and see her stupid, conniving face nearly every class.
He'd texted Cheyenne, letting her know he'd be by her place after he talked to his mother. Leaving the school and heading towards Jason's house, he parked his car at the curb and headed up to the door. Reaching up, he knocked and then tucked his hands into his jacket pockets. In a way he hoped his mother was alone. He really didn't feel like having this conversation with an audience.
The kids were all out at practice, and Justice was bored. Incredibly bored. Phenomenally bored. She couldn’t do anything, so she didn’t even feel like she was helping out. And there was only so much reality tv she could stand. She’d resorted to flicking through a magazine that Chloe had left lying, snorting at the relationship advice contained therein. When the knock at the door sounded, she nearly threw the magazine up in the air, screeching quietly in surprise. Flustered, she checked the peephole before opening the door, smiling when she saw Lucas standing on the other side.
“Hey, kiddo,” she murmured as she opened the door, reaching out to give him a big hug. One-armed, but still just as enthusiastic as ever. She stood up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, stepping back for him to come in, and closing the door behind him. “Do you want a drink of something?” She felt weird, treating Jason’s house like her own. But there wasn’t anyone else around, and she’d been told to make herself at home. Repeatedly.
He hugged her back tightly but not enough to hurt her. He breathed in the comforting scent of his mother and leaned over to make her cheek kiss easier. "I've missed you," he breathed, holding onto her a little longer before reluctantly releasing her and following her inside. He closed the door behind himself and shook his head. "No, thanks," he said, smiling a little as he settled on the sofa and looked up at his mom, watching her as she moved to sit herself. "How are you feeling?" he asked her. She looked better and smelled better which made him feel a lot better about his decision to beg her to stay with Jason. She was safe. That was what mattered most.
She sat down next to him, legs crossed, sitting facing him on the couch. “Like a bird with a broken wing,” she pointed out, smiling just a little. “Completely useless.” She felt like a burden, and she hated it. But she had to agree with Lucas and Jason that this was the best place for her to be right now. Even if she did miss her own bed, and her own house. Having the girls around made up for that, a little. “But better. Less sore today.” She was still achey enough, and awkward enough with the cast, that she didn’t want to push herself too hard. But just sitting around was frustrating her completely. She hadn’t spent this long doing nothing since...well, probably since before Lucas was born. She didn’t do well with inactivity.
He was glad she was feeling better, even if she was bored out of her brain. "I'll have to bring you over some crossword books or sudoku," he smirked. "I came over to talk to you about school," he said. "We never got to talk about everything with what happened and if we don't talk about it soon, we won't get a chance to," he sighed. "I think I want to go back to public school," he admitted. "Seeing Alanna and dealing with all the bullshit whispering behind my back is making it hard for me to concentrate. But I feel guilty because you helped me work so hard to get in there and I don't want you to think that I'm not grateful, Mom, because I am, I just feel so damned out of place there. It's not my world."
Justice snorted at the crossword puzzle suggestion. Like she had the patience for those. She’d get frustrated, and throw it across the room. That thought slipped from her mind when Lucas started talking about school. They’d intended to talk about it Sunday, but of course by the time she’d gotten out of hospital, she really hadn’t been in the right frame of mind. Sighing, she brushed her hair back off her face, combing her fingers through long strands. “I know, baby,” she murmured. She reached out, squeezing his knee. “If you’re really not happy there, then we can move you back.” Her heart sank, though. She knew his chances of getting into a decent school would decrease dramatically if he moved back to his old school. It wasn’t fair, but it was true.
He knew that it wasn't what his mother had wanted to hear and he leaned back against the sofa, pushing his hair back from his face with both hands. "I just feel like I can't concentrate when I'm there. Like everyone is watching me and talking about me and then I can't think enough to do the work I should be doing and I want to get into a good school. I know that this place looks better on transcripts, but honestly it's just not worth it. I'd rather work my ass off twice as much than spend two seconds around Alanna." Lucas looked over at his mother, his eyes wandering across her face. "I'm sorry, Mom."
Sighing, she leant her head against the back of the couch, watching him. “Did you feel like that before today?” She asked softly. “You know what school’s like. I bet it would be exactly the same if you and Alanna both went to Woodrow together.” She remembered what teens were like - and she bet Chloe and Mateo had had to put up with plenty of gossip themselves, today. “I just don’t want you throwing away this opportunity, just because of a stupid girl who can’t keep her legs together.” Because yeah, she wasn’t a fan of Alanna. Never had been. And now she had reason to hate her.
Lucas sighed. "Honestly? Yeah. I mean not about the gossip part, but about not fitting in. I feel like everyone is looking at me like I'm some freak or something. I don't fit in there. I'm not part of the crowd. I'm not part of any crowd. I don't have friends there. I don't even have acquaintances there. I go to school and I leave and come home and that's all I want to do. I don't feel like I am part of the world of any of the people there and I miss Cheyenne," he admitted, shrugging a little. "I have since the first day. I'd rather graduate with her and my friends than graduate with a bunch of people I don't even want to associate myself with. Good school or not." He wasn't going to lie to her, his mother deserved to know the truth. "If you want me to stay, I'll stay...," he shrugged. he wasn't going to upset his mother if he didn't have to.
Justice shook her head. “No, baby,” she murmured, reaching out to cup his face, her thumb stroking his cheek gently. “You don’t have to stay if you’re that unhappy.” She sighed again, tilting her head as she looked at him. “I just wish you’d told me you were this miserable.” She wanted him to have the best opportunities that she could give him - but his happiness mattered more to her than anything else. And she had to admit, Lucas going to the same school as the girls would make things easier when it came to arranging car-pooling for them all. And maybe it’d help Lucas get to know Chloe, Charlie, and Xander a little better.
"I just don't want you disappointed in me," he told her honestly. "That's the only reason that I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want you worrying about me or being unhappy with the choices that I was making. I just want to make you proud of me is all." It was really all he'd been doing for the majority of his life. It had always been just himself and his mother and himself against the world and he'd liked it that way. Now things were complicated and he felt like everything was moving in fifty different directions at once. "You're not disappointed are you?"
“Oh, Lucas...” Justice looked at him worriedly, reaching out and pulling him into a hug. “Baby, no. Never.” She squeezed him tightly as she could, resting his head on her shoulder, kissing the top of his head. “I’m so proud of you,” she said insistently. “You’ve grown up so fast.” And oh God, she was getting teary just thinking about it. “I could never be disappointed. You’ve been so good about everything, about Jason, and this shit with Alanna, and the attack...” She smoothed her fingers through his hair, preening him, letting out a soft, affectionate owl call. “Love you, baby boy.”
It wasn't fair that she could make him want to cry that easily. Lucas wasn't the sort who cried ever if he could help it. Even as a baby he wouldn't cry unless he really needed something. It had stuck with him over the years and even now. He curled into her touch, wanting to crawl into her lap like he had as a little boy but knowing now he'd likely crush her to death. Instead he just slid his arms around her waist and bent awkwardly so he could snuggle against her shoulder. "I love you too, mom," he told her. "I'll work hard at school, I promise, I just don't want to go back to Barrie."
Justice missed the days when Lucas was small enough for her to gather up in her arms. He wasn’t anywhere near small enough for that now, even if she hadn’t been hurt. Instead, she crawled into his lap, the height difference just close enough that he could rest his head on her shoulder without being too uncomfortable. “I know you will,” she murmured, stroking her hand over his head, down the nape of his neck. “You don’t have to go back, ok? I’ll call the school first thing tomorrow. You can have a couple days off.” She smiled just a little, pulling back to look at him. “Help look after your poor injured mom.” That meant he didn’t have to go back to Barrie, while they got everything set up for him to go back to school with Shy and the others.
Lucas breathed a sigh of relief and carefully snuggled his mother in his arms, doing all he could to hold her close without hurting her arm. "I'll be over here every day," he told her. "Maybe we can watch some movies or something. You might even talk me into braiding your hair like I used to," he smiled. He wasn't likely to admit it to anyone but Cheyenne, but Lucas was actually pretty good at braiding hair. He'd been around mostly women his whole life so it had just been something he'd caught onto. "Thanks, mom," he murmured, kissing her forehead.
“Sounds good.” She smiled. “Don’t let Gracie see you, though,” she teased. “Or you’ll have to braid hers, too.” The littlest lioness seemed to like her hair being played with - and Justice had been only too happy to oblige, when she’d had both hands to work with. “Yeah, yeah. Thank me by getting into a decent college, ok?” She teased, pinching his cheek playfully. “C’mon, kiddo. You can help me make snacks for the girls coming home.” She slid off his lap, tugging Lucas to his feet.
"I think I can deal with a little braiding. Maybe it'll get me in the good graces of the lionesses," he smiled. "I'll get into a good college, mom, I promise," he assured her, letting her tug him up and following her towards the kitchen. No, that hadn't been so bad at all. He was already preparing himself for the screech that would be emitted from Cheyenne when she found out. Hopefully his ears could handle the high pitch.