Charlie Anderson (middlelioness) wrote in supernextdoor, @ 2012-07-14 13:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | 10.16.11, charlie, charlie and xander, xander |
Might need you to hold me tonight
Who: Charlie and Xander
What: Reassurance
When: Sunday night
Where: The Lion’s Den
Warnings: None.
Charlie had spent the afternoon curled up in a chair at Xander’s work, spending half the time watching him and half the time struggling through her reading assignment for school. She hadn’t wanted to even go, had wanted Xander to call in sick, but she guessed that there wasn’t really any reason to do that. Even if she hadn’t taken to Justice the way that Gracie, and now Chloe, had, Charlie still didn’t want to see her hurt. And she knew it’d be driving her dad up the wall, knowing that she’d gotten hurt and he hadn’t been able to stop it.
It had seemed like an eternity until Xander finished, and they headed back home. There was surprise pizza and ice-cream, thanks to Chloe’s new boyfriend, and yeah, that worked for winning Charlie over. That, and he was friends with Xander, which automatically meant he was ok. Dinner over, she’d headed for a shower - not that she really needed it, but the comic book store had been kind of cold, and she wanted the comfort and warmth of hot water - and gotten into her pyjamas. It was Xander’s turn in the shower after hers, so she curled up under the covers to wait for him. She’d insisted on going first - after the experience of showering after him a couple of times, and her lion becoming all restless, she’d stopped risking it.
Xander finished his shower and got dressed in a pair of pajama pants and a tanktop. He'd been planning to be shirtless, but he liked to not tempt Charlie more than he had to. It was hard enough to keep his hands off of her and be a gentleman when he was clothed, let alone shirtless. He'd pull it off when he went to bed. Putting away his things in his bags downstairs, he returned to her room, knocking gently on the door, entering once she gave him permission. "Hey," he smiled, heading towards her bed once he'd closed the door behind him.
Charlie didn't really own any sexy girly pyjamas. mostly she slept in her dads old tees, with shorts in the summer and track pants in the winter. Right now it was still warm enough that she was wearing a pair of red shorts that only just covered her ass. Hence being under the covers. "Hey,"she replied, smiling. She had her English assignment open on her lap, but she hadn't even glanced at it. It wasn't due till the end of the week, anyway. Putting it aside, she shifted over in bed, making room for him to sit down next to her.
Crawling into the bed with her, he settled beside Charlie and looked over at her. "Whatcha working on?" he questioned. "Can I help?" He might as well try to do something to take his mind off of how good she smelled fresh from a shower, hair still damp.
“Ugh, I don’t even know,” Charlie admitted, tossing her book onto the nightstand. She scrubbed both hands through her hair, sweeping it up into a ponytail and tying it back. “I’ve been staring at the same page for like, an hour.” Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration, considering that they’d only been home for about that long, and she’d had a shower in that time. “Justice and Gracie are all settled in with a movie,” she murmured, leaning her head on his shoulder. “She said we can hang out up here until curfew, or until Dad gets home. Whichever happens first.”
Xander leaned a bit, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. "I'll help you with it tomorrow," he suggested. He knew she'd been dealing with her assignments all night and deserved a break. Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, he tipped his head against hers and let out a little sigh. "Sounds good to me," he told her. "You're nice and warm," he smiled. "Like I'm going to say no to a personal space heater and cuddling."
Charlie wrapped her arms around his waist, cuddling in against him. She was still feeling a little fragile, after the argument at the breakfast table that morning, and cuddling Xander was helping her feel a little more calm. “Good,” she murmured. “Because you’re totally not getting a choice. Cuddles are part of the territory.” Like her sisters and her dad, Charlie was all about the physical affection. It was a cat thing. She sighed softly, closing her eyes for a moment. “Let’s not have a Sunday like this ever again?” She said, voice barely louder than a murmur. Between Xander saying he didn’t feel like part of the family, and Justice and her dad getting involved with some psycho, Charlie was ready to call do-over on the weekend.
He frowned a little at her question, feeling badly for the way he'd acted earlier in the day. He hadn't meant to upset her and it was clear that he had by the clingy way she'd kept herself pretty attached to him throughout the day. He didn't mind the closeness, if anything he liked it a lot, but he still didn't feel great that he was the reason for her feeling less than happy. At least partially. He let out a little sigh and held her tighter, stroking his fingers gently over her back. "I'm sorry," he told her. "For everything. For this morning and how I acted, what I said and for the mess at the bar," he explained. "If I could go back and do the weekend over again, I would, Char. I promise I would."
Charlie shook her head a little, looking up at him. “Don’t be sorry,” she murmured. “It’s not your fault. Not really.” She knew they could be overwhelming as a family - she just hadn’t thought that Xander had felt like he didn’t belong. “I mean, yeah, I’m upset you don’t think you’re one of us. But...I guess I just forget you haven’t been living here that long. Feels like you’ve been part of the pride forever.” And if she had her way, he would be. “And it’s really not your fault that Dad and Justice got hurt.” She’d had to make do with Justice’s reassurances that her dad wasn’t badly hurt, that it was just a couple bruises. It didn’t make her feel better.
He sighed a little and brushed his hand over her cheek and curled it around her neck, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Just because I feel a little out of place doesn't mean that I don't love it here. That I don't feel better than I have in forever," he assured her. "I love you guys. I love being here. I love that I have people who care about me but I guess it's just hard for me to get it through my head that I deserve it. I wish I could explain it all better, but I could never get you to understand if you didn't live my life and honestly, Charlie, Baby, I wouldn't want you to go through a second of anything that happened in my life. Ever. I'll come around and I'll accept it, I'm just not used to it yet. You are helping me feel like a part of the family, I just didn't want to overstep my bounds. I'm still coming to terms with how much your dad's been willing to do for me."
Charlie lifted her head, tilting her chin up enough to kiss him softly on the lips, one hand sliding up from around his waist, over his stomach and up to his shoulder. “You deserve it,” she murmured softly, pulling back far enough to look at him. “And you’re not gonna overstep any bounds. Like I said, you’re part of the family.” She bit her lower lip, softly. “Even if...if you decided you didn’t want to be with me, you’d still be part of the pride.” She was dreading him feeling that way, worried that once he started believing he deserved better than the life he’d had, that he’d lose interest in her. Start dating someone older, someone more girly and elegant and...well, everything that Charlie wasn’t.
Xander frowned at her. Letting his hand move a bit, he used his thumb to gently free her lip from her teeth. Shaking his head a little he kissed her forehead again, then the tip of her nose and then finally her mouth. Tipping his forehead against hers, he let out a little sigh. "Why would I decide something that stupid?" he asked her. "We've only been together a little while, but already you've helped get me off drugs, my grades are better and I have a family now. Why would I leave? Even if all of that wasn't the case you're pretty amazing all on your own, teensy."
Charlie shook her head a little, though she was blushing. “I’m not that great,” she mumbled quietly, half-hoping he didn’t hear. She’d never been pretty the way that Chloe was - too tomboyish, too happy in comfy, slouchy clothes. Never been into makeup. It hadn’t mattered so much at her old school, but out here in the ‘burbs, she felt like a bit of an outcast. Outside of her teammates, she didn’t have that many friends. “It’s just...” she started, then changed her mind. “It doesn’t matter. Forget it.” She snuggled closer, pressing her face against his shoulder, closing her eyes.
She wasn't going to get off that easily. "No," he told her, gently shifting enough that he could pull her smaller frame into his lap, curling his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. "You can't start something and not tell me what you were going to say," he murmured. "It obviously does matter, so tell me." He didn't let her respond just yet, however, wanting to change her opinion of herself a little first. "And you are too great. Amazing. Pretty and smart and you could probably kick my ass. No, definitely could kick my ass even if I'll deny it in public," he smiled. "So don't go selling yourself short."
“Ok, now I know you’re talking crap,” Charlie joked weakly. “I’m not smart. Capable of kicking your ass, sure.” She smiled wryly. “No arguments there.” She punched his shoulder gently, shifting until she was cuddled in against him more firmly, one knee either side of his hips, her hands clenched loosely against his chest. She hoped the joke would distract him, that he wouldn’t ask her what she’d been about to say.
For the moment he forgot about what she'd been saying, too busy wanting to focus on making her feel better about herself. "You are smart," he told her. "You're really smart actually. And you're already getting better at reading," he added. "I can hear the difference when you read to me," he explained, kissing her forehead and gently sliding his hand over her back to comfort her. "I think you're amazing, even if you don't believe me."
Charlie purred softly as Xander started stroking her back, pressing her nose against his throat and nuzzling gently. She didn’t believe him, not really, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t nice to hear. She knew she wasn’t smart - Gracie had gotten the brains in the family, Chloe the looks. And Charlie...she had sports. That was pretty much it. She wasn’t cute the way Gracie was, or hot the way Chloe was. She didn’t want to be a fashion designer, or solve crimes. She didn’t know what she wanted to do.
Xander continued to stroke her back, wanting to get more of those soft purring noises from the girl. She was warm and soft and inviting and Xander wanted nothing more than to keep holding onto her, keeping making her make comforting noises like her purrs. "I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am with you in my whole life," he told her honestly. "You need to know that, okay? That you've changed me and made an impact in my life. Without you, I don't even want to think about what I'd be doing right now," he sighed, stroking his fingers gently upwards to teasingly run through her ponytail. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
Closing her eyes, Charlie tilted her head enough to kiss Xander’s neck, sliding her arms around him. Xander had so much power over her, it scared her. What he’d said made her stomach flutter, made her want to grin and blush and run away all at once. “Me, too,” she whispered. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” She wondered if it always felt like this, if this fluttering, nerve-wracking exhilaration when Xander said things like that was always going to happen. “I love you.” She blurted the words out, blushing brilliant red as soon as she’d said it.
He couldn't have hidden the bit of surprise on his face if he'd tried. Xander hadn't expected her to say those three little words to him ever really. He'd never thought too much on it, figuring eventually she'd find someone better than him, someone who wasn't a charity case with more baggage than American Airlines. But she said it and then she blushed brightly and he was left feeling dumbfounded and shocked. "Really?" he whispered, then realized that likely wasn't what she wanted to hear in response to her admission of her feelings. So he went on before she could speak. "Good because I love you too."
Charlie’s heart sunk as he stared at her in complete shock. Oh God, now she’d ruined everything. Just because she was smitten didn’t mean he was. Xander was her first boyfriend, maybe she was freaking him out. Maybe you weren’t supposed to say that to people. The thoughts raced through her head, but before she could get too carried away, he said he felt the same. Her breath left her in a sudden, sharp exhale. She looked at him for a minute, grinning, then leant in and kissed him hard.
Maybe it was soon, maybe it was ridiculous to feel the way that he felt, but he didn't really give a fuck. Xander had very little experience with affection, very little with love at all of any kind, but Charlie had given him nothing but love since the moment that he'd met her. She'd done nothing but help him, make him a better person and make him feel like he meant something to someone. It wasn't hard to believe that he'd fallen for the girl, no matter how quickly it might have seemed to most people around him. At the moment he couldn't have cared less about what anyone else thought. He kissed her back, his arms winding tighter around her, and let out a soft little groan.
Sighing softly, Charlie wound her arms around Xander’s neck, clasping opposite elbows as she pressed tightly against him, kissing him back enthusiastically. She purred, a soft, kittenish rumble in her chest. His groan made her stomach flip pleasantly, shifting a little in his lap. She was a little too aware of the fact that she was wearing nothing but thin cotton shorts, that he was just wearing pyjama pants.
Xander was pretty aware of the fact that there wasn't much between them, but he was trying his best to ignore that truth. When he finally pulled back, his lips were a bit more pink and he had a sort of goofy grin on his face. "I should tell you I love you more often if I get kisses like that," he smirked.
Charlie laughed softly, ducking her head. “Yeah, you should,” she replied bashfully, her cheeks still pink, her stomach still doing somersaults. “Say it again?” She asked softly, rubbing her nose against his. She stroked the back of his neck softly, sitting back on his thighs rather than pressed as tight to him as she had been. She didn’t want to get him all worked up, not when they couldn’t do anything. And she was still way too nervous, way too unsure to touch him anywhere below the waist.
He grinned at her, a little thankful that she shifted. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with whatever popped up between them if she kept staying so closely pressed to him. It was hard enough with her wearing those little short shorts to keep his brain from turning entirely to mush. "I love you," he told her again, giving her another little Eskimo kiss.
Charlie grinned sweetly, wrinkling her nose a little, happily. “I love you too,” she replied, a little breathlessly. Her hands slid down over his shoulders, down his bare arms, until she could link her fingers with his, pressing his hands down into the blankets as she leant in and kissed him again, softly and close-mouthed.
Xander didn't think he'd ever get tired of her kisses. Sure they weren't always making out or dry humping like most kids their age, but this meant more to him. It was new and different. He didn't have a lot of experience - none actually save for a handjob or two - having never had the balls to sleep around when he was living with his parents and just being too high to care once he was on his own. But regardless, Charlotte Richards was different. She was unlike any girl he'd ever met. She was the only one that had ever made his heart flutter the way that it did. The only one that could kiss him and make him feel like everything was okay. And maybe, just maybe, Charlotte was the one.