Log: Scarlet Spider & Alpha WHO: Billy Sinclair & Mark Reilly WHAT: Thursday night. Mark washes Billy's hair for him and they smooth out the rough spots in their relationship.
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Things had been rocky for Billy and Mark in the last couple months. They’d gone in different directions, fostered different friendships, and Mark had hit a downswing so painful it almost killed him. Mark needed taking care of, there was no doubt about it, but he still had to work to repair what he’d do carelessly damaged.
Tonight, Billy needed it. Mark had had his Valentine’s Day with Jack, and what Jack had kind of perceived as an ‘all night long’ sort of affair had turned into... about an hour. He’d dozed off by the time Mark texted Billy, and they moved into the bathroom---partially to avoid disturbing roommates, but also because their dorms didn’t have sinks. Mark dragged along a chair and some towels, grateful that the sinks were set far enough forward to make this semi-comfortable.
Mark was getting better. He was really and truly trying. He’d put on a couple pounds and even without makeup, he was less gaunt than before. His hands were just a little softer as they sifted through Billy’s hair. In comfortable pants, fluffy slippers and a shirt that hung in such a way to expose his shoulders and the straps of an undershirt, Mark’s newest scar was out in plain view. It was big, running from his left wrist almost all the way to his elbow, and it was an ugly, uneven thing. He’d never be able to fully hide it without wearing long sleeves, but he wouldn’t have wanted to get rid of it. It was a reminder. It kept him moving by making it clear what would happen if he let himself slip.
“Are you going to be okay tonight? You can borrow my bed if you want to.”
Billy groaned quietly and shrugged. He was exhausted and edgy thanks to Vincent’s powers. He was embarrassed on top of that, and had so many concerns about Luka and the fight he’d gotten into with Todd … ugh. “And here I’d been entertaining fantasies of a really romantic Valentine’s Day,” he said. Leaning back with his head against the lip of the sink, he was flipping through one of Mark’s fashion magazines. “There’s always next year.”
“He’ll make it up to you, Billy. This time he’ll probably give you a Mercedes. Or his dick tied up in a bow.” Mark slid his hands down underneath Billy’s head, massaging his scalp at the nape of his neck. “Besides, now you don’t have to keep quiet so Sebastian doesn’t hear.”
“I don’t think we’re going to have sex,” said Billy. “This weekend was going to be about sex, but not with the way that Luka’s acting. I need to make sure he’s okay first, and then sex later. He’s pissed everybody off and left me to pick up the pieces, it reflects badly on me, and I can’t stand it when people don’t like him.”
“You can’t get yourself worked up about Luka’s reputation,” Mark said gently. “You always knew being with him would be difficult, one way or another. He’s usually pretty nice, or at least moral. If people don’t want to forgive him for a one time outburst, that’s their damage, not his. It’s not like one of my explosions.”
Billy glanced at him. “Maybe I’m edgy and exhausted from defending you, too. And we know how that went.”
“I know. But Luka isn’t me. He isn’t ill, he’s... there’s something wrong there. If he needs your help, he’s not like me. He’ll ask for it.” Even if Mark could relate to the outburst, it wasn’t the same and he knew it.
“It’s his brain,” Billy said quietly. He fidgeted and set Mark’s magazine aside. “He got Extremis and he’s suddenly able to process everything so much faster than normal, and he can read everyone’s conversations. It’s too much all at once, too much personal information without being able to filter it, and so it’s like he’s sitting in a room with all these people as they talk his ear off and he can’t ever leave.”
Mark made a sympathetic noise. “Jesus. No wonder. And he’s obviously asked his dad for help, right? He wouldn’t let it get this bad unless he didn’t have a choice.”
Billy’s ears twitched. He shouldn’t have had them out; soap was getting in there. “I don’t know. I don’t know when he talks to his dad. He doesn’t call Mr. Stark his father, you know. They’re not close.”
Mark scratched the back of Billy’s ear before reaching for a washcloth. Wetting it, he gently wipe the soap out of the curve of Billy’s ears before it got all the way in. “Seriously? That’s a surprise. Not that I know much about Stark, I just figured if he had the trust fund and worked at the company and got Extremis...”
“I don’t think he’s very affectionate,” said Billy. “It’s just financial, for the most part. Not that Mr. Stark doesn’t love him, because I think he does, but I also don’t think he’s very good at showing it.”
“He loves him enough to save his life.”
“Mm-hmm. It’s just not outward. So it doesn’t surprise me that Luka hasn’t talked to him.”
“How has he been with you, though? One outburst is fine, but that doesn’t come out of nowhere.” Mark frowned a little. “He hasn’t been saying stuff like that to you, has he?”
Billy closed his eyes, letting the scalp massage relax him. This was like being pet behind the ears, but better. Warm water, gently-fragranced shampoo; it was heavenly. “No,” he said. “Sometimes I think I’m the only one he wants to be around. Sometimes he does weird things, like he’ll have a conversation with me while his hand is writing, and he doesn’t have to look at or think about what he’s doing.”
Mark’s fingers hands were precise, not necessarily delicate but gentle. He’d picked a shampoo that wouldn’t overwhelm Billy’s senses, and he knew where it was comfortable to be touched and where it just felt uncomfortable. “That’s romantic as hell, Billy. Except for the hand thing, you know what I mean.”
“You think it’s romantic that he’s isolating himself to be with me?”
“Not awesome, but romantic.”
Billy chuckled softly. “Yes, in a tragic, awful way.”
“I still don’t know how you got this shit right on your first try,” Mark said dryly. “You have no idea how jealous that makes me.”
“Just lucky, I guess, but it’s not like it’s easy.” Billy sighed. “But he loves me. And that’s what’s important. I trust him and I trust that he loves me, and that makes the harder things easier to bear.”
“I’m glad you have him. I know I’ve been shit lately, and if this thing with your mom had happened and I... I know it’s self-centered, but we’ve been so close for so long that I don’t think I’m out of line for saying that dealing with your mother would have been more difficult without Luka because I had checked out so badly.”
Billy opened his eyes and glanced over at him. “It’s self-centered, but it’s not wrong. I wouldn’t have survived, or I wouldn’t have left her. I had Luka to hang onto but I didn’t have my best friend.”
“I’m sorry about that. Again. I wish I’d been more help.” Mark affectionately tugged on Billy’s hair. “Won’t happen again.”
“Yes, it will,” said Billy honestly. “Because you have an illness. And you can’t always control yourself and your actions. You’re probably going to hurt me again. I don’t like it, but I’m not going to pretend that it won’t ever happen and then get angry if it does.”
“I’m working on it. We’re adjusting my meds, I’ve been sleeping a little better. I’m in therapy,” Mark insisted. “This isn’t the first time I’ve had to sober up. It might not be the last, but I’ll be better this time.”
Billy picked up the magazine again, keeping quiet. He trusted that Mark’s words were sincere, but they wouldn’t be in the future. He wasn’t going to mention that. “I’m just glad to have you back, Mark.”
“Mm. I’m just trying to stay back as long as I can.” Mark gave himself a second of uncomfortable quiet before he brushed it off. Positive thoughts. He needed positive thoughts. “Everything’s going to be fine.”