Who: Charles Bingley & Jane Bennet What: You Already Know Where: The Beach! When: Sunday, July 3 Rating: S for Saccharine Status: Logged, Complete!
With Summerview spontaneously turned into a seaside resort- perhaps the grandest show of their hostess' power yet- the residents had a whole host of new activities to enjoy. Of course, rules of propriety still needed to be obeyed, so some of those activities were divided by sexes.
Earlier in the day, Bingley had taken part in an oyster shucking contest with some of the other men. He hadn't won, of course- having not learned the skill prior- but he had found, quite to his own surprise, a perfectly formed pearl.
The object, rare and dear, had been cleaned and pocketed away, tucked safely into a kerchief, for now.
~~
As dinner in the formal dining room concluded, and the various guests started to move toward their after dinner activities- games, drinking, music and the like- Bingley had instead approached Jane. "Miss Bennet," the formal greeting and bow, as ever, "might I inquire as to your plans this evening?"
--
The transformation of Summerview Park into a beach resort had stunned Jane. It had been a welcome change, having never before been to the sea, and she was enjoying it thoroughly while it lasted. She had dipped in the water, and played in the sand. The sunshine had been pleasantly warm, and Jane had a few freckles now dotting across her nose even with wearing a bonnet. She couldn't truly say she disliked them, though freckles weren't necessarily fashionable.
She smiled brightly as she noticed Charles approaching, and gave the appropriate curtsey in response. As usual, seeing him made Jane's heart race, "I do not have any plans at present, Mr Bingley. I considered perhaps a walk or joining a game, but I am quite open to suggestions."
--
Had Bingley noticed the emergence of freckles? Yes, absolutely. But he wouldn't confess such things aloud- not here, anyway.
"A walk sounds lovely," he offered, instead, "if you might be open to my accompanying you?" He didn't immediately offer to also find a chaperone for such an event, but if she requested one, he'd… find another day to settle his thoughts, perhaps.
--
Jane smiled even brighter as he suggested a walk together. While perhaps they should have invited one of their sisters to chaperone, she'd gone on strolls here - with him and others - and had not had any issues with being accused of impropriety, "That sounds like the perfect way to spend the evening, Mr Bingley."
She considered it, "I've been quite enjoying the beach while it lasts. Perhaps we can take our walk near the water?"
--
"That would be delightful," he agreed, quickly, and shifted to offer an arm out to her. "Shall we away, now? Unless you need to change your outfit for such a stroll? Not that there is anything at fault with your current outfit, naturally, I just wouldn't-" Charles cut himself off before he could ramble any further off course.
--
He seemed to have concern for her dress, but Jane smiled warmly as she rested her hand at his offered arm, as was becoming a familiar gesture, "Do not worry, Mr Bingley. I am unworried about the hem of this dress, and what sand or water may befall it, but I do appreciate your concern for my finery." Her words were light and sincere, fully believing she was correct in her assumption of his place of concern given the circumstances.
--
The consequences of sand had been something new to discover. It was extraordinarily persistent, and found its ways into shoes and hose and nearly any other article of clothing that was anywhere near it. But if Jane was comfortable as she was, he'd hardly deny her a moment more of waiting.
He hadn't even put his gloves back on, after removing them for dinner. "I do believe I will forgo my hat. There was a mishap yesterday when a strong gust nearly took it into the sea, if you can believe that, Miss Bennet!"
--
She gave a somewhat delighted laugh at the idea that the wind had been persistent enough to pluck off his hat, and the image of chasing after it. Not that she would joke about misfortune, of course, but he seemed to be in a good mood regardless, “I believe I will similarly neglect my bonnet for similar reasons. The wind seems to tug and pull at it, and it’s much more enjoyable to not worry over it.”
Walking with him over these last few weeks had become familiar and comforting, though it still inspired her heart to race as they exited the dining hall and made their way towards the exit, “I think I will miss the beach when Lady Whistledown decides to remove it. I had never seen such splendor in all my life. It’s endless and beautiful, isn’t it?” Of course, she did know that the sea did in fact “end” upon some other distant shore in one way or another, but she also could not see such another shore on the horizon.
--
Having gotten accustomed to Summerview and its normal grounds, it was still exciting- for Bingley, anyway- to instead step outside and be greeted with fresh sea air. Not far, then, were the rhythmic crash of the waves and even a few calling seabirds. "I will miss it, as well," he agreed. "But I… have hope to travel again, in time, so I'm certain it will not be the last opportunity to set my feet in the sand."
--
His hope to travel in the future brought a small flush to her cheeks, but while Jane certainly had her hopes of what her future would look like - that perhaps it was one she shared with him - a question had not been asked and she would not presume. Instead she asked, “Do you travel often? Until Summerview I had not journeyed further than London from Longbourn.” The opportunity had not really presented itself to her. She did know that his family had gone to India, but she had not heard of other travels they may have taken.
--
He realized, too late, that he couldn't really speak of the future he wanted- a future with her- until… other discussions had occurred. His free hand went to his jacket pocket, but then thought better of it. For the moment.
"We- Caroline and I- have traveled around the country some, yes. Some of that was… required, in our need for a place to stay, when we were not otherwise relying on the hospitality of the Darcys."
--
They exited the manor and out into the perfect weather that was beyond. The sun was still shining, and though it was warm there was a very pleasant breeze that kept them cool enough. She could already begin to see the edge of that beach, but she paid close attention to his reply as well, "That sounds exciting, to get to see so much of the country! I should like to see more of it one day if I am able. It's wonderful that you have such good friends in the Darcys as well. I'm glad to have the opportunity to get to know both of them better."
--
The sea air calmed him slightly. It didn't (and wouldn't) relieve all of his nervousness, no, but… it was a start.
"They have spoken highly of you," Charles offered. An admittance of his having spoken to them about Jane, but… "As has Caroline. Not," he placed a hand over hers, there at his arm, "that I needed them to tell me what I had already come to know of you on my own, Jane… but it is always nice to have such strong feelings reinforced."
--
A light pink flush tinged her cheeks, but the smile never left her lips. She squeezed his arm gently at that reassurance, and found that her heart still went wild when he said her name. They were alone here, and that they'd used given names was a secret that she hadn't confessed even to Lizzie. It felt nearly as intimate as the few kisses they shared.
"I am happy to hear that they have spoken highly of me around you. It is a relief, really. I would not expect them to be false with me, of course, but I want to be on good terms with those dear to you, Charles," she admitted, glancing up at him as they walked, "My sisters speak very highly of you, too. I try very much not to speak too openly with my youngest sisters, but they are bound to give their opinions regardless. Lizzie finds you very amiable, as she should."
--
"I'm glad to have been able to spend more time with Miss Elizabeth. She is… quite spirited." He laughed a bit, though it was very much meant as a compliment.
Stepping onto the sand, they had to adjust their footing slightly to account for the not quite solid ground below. Bingley eased his arm free from where Jane had held it, and instead- daringly- laced his own bare fingers in with hers. They had held hands dozens of times before, in their shared dances, but this still felt new and thrilling in its own right. "Closer to the water, I think, yes?"
--
"She certainly is," Jane agreed with a small laugh. It was very true, and she couldn't deny it. Her sister also was prone to finding faults in people, so that she did approve of Charles was very important to Jane.
She knew from experience that the sand was firmer near the water, and here it was more prone to shift around their feet. She gave a little laugh as they took those first few steps with their hands linked together. They weren't supposed to hold hands either, but the risks they took when they did manage to get away alone were always worth it. Once before, during the opera, they had managed to hold hands outside of a dance, and it was just one more way to make her heart misbehave.
"Yes. The sand is a little firmer there, and I like being near the water. I've found some very beautiful shells!"
--
"Have you been keeping them?" The last time the manor had been so transformed, evidence of that time had disappeared. "I hope that they stay, once we're no longer at the shore. Seashells at least exist in our own time, even if not typically at Summerview." And, well, he hardly wanted to propose marriage with an object that might disappear based on their hostess' whims. Perhaps being her favorite would win them a pass, this time.
--
"I have. I took them inside and cleaned them up. They're all sorts of interesting shapes and sizes," she agreed, grinning as they made their way down towards the water, "I hope they stay as well. I hadn't truly considered that they may disappear like the objects of the future. This seems quite different. I hope we get to keep what treasures we may have discovered. I do not believe I'm the only one that has enjoyed such activities." She had seen plenty of other people playing in the sand these past few days.
--
"Do not let my silly worries keep you from enjoying them, Jane," Bingley insisted. "I'm sure they're perfectly safe. I'd love to see them, later, if you wouldn't mind showing them off. Perhaps we can gather a jar with sand and shells as a keepsake."
They were closer to the shoreline where the waves were breaking, and he turned their path just so they could instead walk alongside those waves. An occasional one darted closer still, even once over his shoes for just a moment, but there was no real danger.
"Yes, I think we will definitely need another trip to the shore in the future." That we wasn't defined, but surely easily surmised.
--
She smiled with a little more bounce in her step as they walked, "That's a wonderful idea, Charles. I do want something to remember these days." They had been some of her favorite days since arriving at Summerview. Jane hadn't taken quite as much to the modern world as some of the others.
The sound of the waves breaking across one another and washing up the shore was unique, and she hoped to never forget the sound or the smell of the salt air. She could feel a little dampness in her shoes, but so far they were not soaked through.
She clung to that we, though there were just assumptions of the future they may have together thus far. Jane knew what she wanted, but he had to ask, "It does well for the spirit, doesn't it? I have enjoyed walks through hills and valleys, but there is something different - both peaceful and exciting - about a stroll near the water."
--
"My spirit is always so buoyed by you already, Jane, but you and the sea air together is surely a powerful combination that I cannot resist." He gave her hand a little squeeze. Bingley paused a moment there, lifting their joined hands and prompting Jane to spin under them, as if they were once more on the dance floor together.
--
He always seemed to know just the right thing to make her flush to the tips of her ears, but it was never a bad thing, "I would not want you to resist such happiness." Jane laughed, feeling light and carefree as he gave her that spin, stepping under their hands and their fingers brushing just so as she came back to place at his side.
A smile that was almost mischievous graced her lips as a bit of water came up and she kicked her foot through it gently to make a bit of a splash, but what she didn't predict was that one wave crashed upon another so close to shore and sent the water rushing up over both of their feet, quickly taking away one of her shoes with it, the shoe quickly lost to the waves as it dragged the item out deeper into the sea.
"Oh my word," she gasped lightly, but the shock was replaced by an almost delighted peal of laughter. A giggle at first, and then a sound that was true and pure joy, "Well, there's only one thing to be done about that." She lifted her other foot, her stockings instantly wet in the sand below, and removed her remaining shoe, tossing it into the waves.
--
Bingley had done his best to duck out of the way of the splash, and didn't quite realize what had happened until Jane had thrown her other shoe into the waiting waves. He laughed, easily praising, "A marvelous throw! We will have our hostess set up a throwing competition next, surely you will win the lot."
But with Jane standing there in stocking feet, well, it only made sense to put them on… even footing, so to speak. "I think I shall join you." Bingley toed out of his shoes, and even followed by removing his own socks, quickly throwing the lot into the waves after Jane's own. It was ridiculous, but he was still laughing, and he reached for her…
This time, his hands found her waist, and Bingley leaned in to kiss her. Even as he did, the words he'd held back before now came easily. "I love you, Jane Bennet."
--
Jane laughed at the idea that she might win a sporting competition for throwing or otherwise, "I appreciate your faith in my skill." Though she was now standing there in stockings that were becoming dampened.
As he took his own shoes and even socks off, Jane peeled her own stockings down, and tossed them as well. That he threw his socks and indeed even his shoes - which were undoubtedly much finer than her own - into the waves made her laugh with renewed vigor, her hand pressed lightly to her stomach as she laughed, but as he reached for her waist, it had been easy and natural to lift her own arms around his shoulders.
Her knees felt weak as he kissed her, and she felt her pulse spike again, especially as those words reached her ears. He loved her. He loved her! She pressed a little closer into that kiss, renewing it so that their lips lingered for a long few moments, "I love you, too, Charles Bingley… from the moment we met, I think."
--
He had hoped that he'd hear those same words, once he had the bravery and daring to admit them aloud. He could have said it in a dozen moments before now, but he would just need to make up for that in not hiding the words from her, ever again.
His hands pressed in at her hips, and Bingley didn't want to pull away. Even as he felt the waves around their feet, the sand slipping away and drawing them down slightly, water pulling at their hems… he didn't care.
"And every moment since. Jane, my Jane…" The name segued into another kiss, slow and lingering. When he eased back, his forehead pressed to hers, Bingley's hands found her arms, sliding down to grasp her hands.
It took a moment to free his feet from the grasp of the water, but Bingley pulled them both backwards, just enough to not be in the range of every wave. Still with Jane's hands in his, he slowly eased down to one knee.
It should have been nerve-wracking, terrifying even. He should have feared rejection or worse. Yet, somehow, the question came easily, even as he withdrew the kerchief from his pocket and unfolded it to reveal a perfectly formed pearl. "Jane, will you marry me?"
--
She had acknowledged it to herself at the maze, but hadn't dared to tell anyone else the depth of her feeling. Seeming too interested could encourage assumptions or incite rumors of scandal, and she had never wanted that. She felt so light that she might have just floated away if not held there in his embrace.
My Jane. She was his, heart and soul, and she had never wanted anyone else. There could be no doubt. When it had become apparent that they were equally interested in one another, she hadn't felt it necessary to really get to know any of the other gentlemen. Perhaps it was foolishly hopeful of her, but she had invested all of herself in him and the hopes that she had that he would…
Get down on one knee, as he did just in front of her there as they stepped back on slightly more solid land. She'd wondered - diligently attentive to every action and even rumor since their first kiss - if he would propose. She had dreamt of it, but she hadn't been able to envision anything as perfect as this moment. Her hand squeezed his, and then he was pulling that kerchief out of his pocket and unveiled a beautiful pearl.
Her eyes had widened a little, the smile brilliant upon her lips, and she was careful not to knock such a prize from his hands. She bounced just a little on her toes there in the sand and nodded, curls bouncing, "Yes! A thousand times yes, Charles."
--
He hadn't really allowed himself to imagine any other response, but Charles still felt a lightness through himself with Jane's answer. His hand clasped around the pearl, and as he stood again, this movement drew him right back into a kiss.
But this didn't linger, if only because he was so excited that he couldn't help pulling back in a bright laugh. Quickly tucking the pearl away, he instead reached for Jane's waist and lifted her up, spinning together in a circle there in the surf.
"I don't have a ring for you yet, but you may design one of your own desire, Jane. Whatever you want, even the stars themselves, I will see that it's done."
--
She did want to see the pearl more closely, but didn't want to risk dropping it amidst the waves either. That kiss had momentarily stolen her breath, but then she was laughing right along with him as he lifted her off her feet and spun her around. She braced herself there at his shoulders, and she didn't think she'd ever been so happy before in all her life.
"Even the stars? What an offer, Charles!" she gave another joyful laugh, still close to him there. It felt almost a dream, but she knew it to be very much true, "I would love to design a ring with you, and I would very much want to incorporate the pearl into it. It's beautiful, Charles. I feared dropping it if my hands were not entirely steady." And it was true that Jane was trembling just a little, but only in excitement.
--
"Even the stars," he insisted. "Darcy said it was impossible, but I know my love is strong enough to pull them from the very sky." He kissed her again, a hand gently cupping her cheek as he did.
"I found the pearl myself, today. I… have been in correspondence with a jeweler in London, ever since the day in the maze, but this felt… like a sign too important to ignore. Even if it meant asking without a ring for your hand." Bingley hadn't stopped smiling.
He tucked a bit of errant hair back behind Jane's ear. "I will… need to ask that your wish to design something with me also extends to a home for us," he admitted. "Though there is less urgency to it, you should know that I do not yet possess a manor of my own. I… thought it terribly romantic to find such a location with the future Mrs Bingley."
--
The words he spoke were deeply romantic, and surely he knew that. Jane smiled that Darcy had refuted the possibility, but he would still try to claim the very stars for her. How strong his love was. How lucky she was to have found him, "I believe you."
She smiled even brighter when he said he had found the pearl. She assumed perhaps he had, but then it also meant the pearl was one of their finds due to the beach. She hoped Whistledown let them keep it, "I wondered… if the rumors of someone contacting a jeweler might have been back to you, but I wouldn't let myself assume. The pearl is perfect, Charles, ring or not. I am delighted that you asked!"
She leaned just a little into his touch as he tucked her hair back. She hadn't ever asked after where he might settle, but she had gathered from a few separate conversations that there likely was not a family home. Caroline had admitted to her that they had considered renting Netherfield Hall, which was a rather large estate near Meryton. He'd also mentioned just earlier today that he and Caroline had traveled for places to stay, "I had surmised that may be the case, but your reason for it is very romantic. I would be honored to select what will be our home together, as your Mrs Bingley."
--
Your Mrs Bingley. Even though he'd said those very same words already, and had even ascribed them to Jane well before the question had been asked and answered, he still very nearly swooned to hear her repeat them back. Charles sighed, happily, admitting, "I may need to hear you say that name every day. Just so I can remember precisely how perfect this moment is, here with you."
He leaned in, their foreheads touching, a grin still on his features. "I am yours, Jane. Everything I have the ability to give. I love you more than I ever knew was possible."
--
“I will happily remind you, especially once the title is officially mine,” she promised with a smile, though she did wonder when that may be. Lizzie had asked her already if she would leave as soon as they were engaged, and she knew that wouldn’t be the case. She didn’t want to leave Lizzie, and she doubted very much that Charles wanted to leave Caroline, but… neither did she want to wait months upon months to marry him either, always stealing otherwise forbidden moments.
Their foreheads touched, and she let her eyes close as she relaxed into him a little, “Just as I am yours, Charles. I did not understand the feeling of love until I met you, truly. Now I understand its wonder… and why so many strive to find it.” After a few moments she did pull back just enough to look up at him, “We’ll also need to discuss what we will want to do… about Summerview. We’re the first to be engaged, and I know not how Whistledown will celebrate that fact. I do not wish to leave our siblings, of course, but… it is also a little disheartening to think that we must hide away most of our affection until they make matches.” After all, they weren’t supposed to touch… to hold hands, to kiss, to say one another’s names in public, even engaged. They were breaking many rules already, and that would only get more difficult as time dragged on.
--
"Every poet and playwright put words to a feeling not easily described… but one I now know I cannot live without." That might have been intimidating, in a way, but also… well, for him, not. Because Bingley trusted Jane, implicitly.
She raised good questions, and while they might have been things that should have been discussed in a formal setting, Charles was loath to break the spell of this place. So, instead, he reached for Jane's hands and stepped them both back a bit further from the edge of the surf, to a spot where they could sit down beside one another without risk of being swept away. He removed his coat, taking the kerchief and pearl from the pocket before spreading the coat down on the sand below for Jane to sit upon.
Once they were both sitting, beside one another, Bingley handed Jane the kerchief and pearl. He admittedly didn't know if she had means to securely carry it as his own pockets, but she deserved the chance to see the object more closely. It was hers, after all.
"Being engaged, we are- in theory- permitted to leave Summerview." No one had tried this yet, of course, but that had been the agreement set down by their hostess. "I suppose we need to discern whether we are also allowed to come back. I told Caroline that I would not leave her here, and neither would I take you from your own… may I call her simply Elizabeth, now? But there are… other things to accomplish, as you choose whether we marry here or in your own home parish. Rings, a dress for you, of course. You can choose whatever color you wish to see me in," as he'd never attended a ball in simply black and white, this went without saying, really.
"Perhaps Mrs Donmeyer can arrange a meeting, or at least answers to the list of queries we have for Whistledown." Their hostess' anonymity had never felt quite so inconvenient. "Because I dearly wish for you to be my wife, Jane, but I do not want to subject such a union to being watched at every turn. We have more than earned a reprieve, and you deserve to enter our life together with nothing less than unadulterated joy, my love."
--
She likely should have waited to speak of such things until after they’d had time to just relax and enjoy their engagement for longer, but they were things that had already been weighing on her mind as she considered whether or not he would ask her that all-important question. Now that he had - now that they were promised to one another - Jane was perhaps too eager to discuss with him what she’d already spoken of with Lizzie weeks ago.
Jane settled upon the jacket that he laid out for her, though she was certain it was a very fine item and hoped that it wouldn’t ruin in the sand. She also noted that her heart skipped a little faster seeing him without the jacket there, the linen of his shirt tugging a little in the breeze. She took that kerchief and the pearl gladly into her hands, and pulled back the folds of the fabric to admire it more properly. She turned it gently over in the wrapping, and it was - as far as she could tell - flawless, “It’s truly stunning, Charles. What a fine centerpiece it will make for a ring.”
She considered his words, and nodded eagerly, “I believe we may be so informal now, at least in private. I similarly told Lizzie that I would stay, but she also made me promise that I would not stay out of obligation alone if we truly wished to go. Whether or not we will be allowed to return will play a significant factor, I imagine. Nothing in the invitation suggested that we could stay once we are married, though perhaps our hostess will allow it.”
Jane’s cheeks flushed a little as she considered all of the preparation to be done, and that before long she likely would be in fittings for a dress. Would Whistledown bring in a modiste or allow them to travel? “As the majority of our siblings are here, I would prefer to marry here if that is an option available to us. Perhaps we will be permitted to bring in guests for the day. You look so remarkably handsome in a great many colors, Charles, so choosing just one may be one of my greatest challenges, but I am up to it.”
As they considered their hostess, Jane pointed out, “She has, at very few times, replied to a direct query in the journals, but I would assume we may utilize Mrs Donmeyer as a liaison of sorts if she will not correspond with us directly.” Jane felt aflutter at the term wife, as she would soon be to him. He would be her husband. It was truly a dream come to life. “I agree that I hope to maintain some degree of privacy, Charles, but I daresay that very little could dampen such joy that I feel now. I feel as though I could float away. I am so at ease… so delightfully happy.” She gave a small sigh, though she had to laugh just a little at herself, “I will admit, even if it is wicked of me to say, that if Lady Whistledown could… quiet my mother’s commentary for the day of the wedding to give us some peace, that is one trick I would not mind. Do not misunderstand me. Mama will be dreadfully pleased, Charles, but she is so… loud.”
--
While certainly not an expert on fine gems, Charles had been taken with the pearl immediately upon his discovery of it. That Jane now likewise approved was a relief- though he'd have made certain to flatter her desires for a ring of her choosing either way.
"Knowing that we do not wish to delay our union," at least, no more than necessary, for all the preparations, "and given both the need to acquire a proper home for us, and our desire to remain close to at least some of our siblings, I have to believe that she will allow us some more freedom of movement. Surely we have done everything required of us, Jane- and found love despite it all. We have earned her grace, and I will do my damndest to ensure we get it." The curse, such as it was, at least earned a mild flush of his cheeks and a belated sorry.
"Perhaps a color to match your ribbons or your favorite flowers. If the color does not yet exist in my wardrobe, we'll add it to our list," he replied, playfully.
A laugh escaped him, and Charles slipped an arm around Jane's waist, drawing her just closer to press a kiss at her temple. "Ah, my wicked, wicked bride. How I love you so. I daresay, if Whistledown will not quiet your mother, I'm not at all opposed to a monetary bribe, or perhaps simply a kerchief to gag her. Coordinated in color, of course."
--
He spoke optimistically of what Lady Whistledown would allow of them, and Jane found herself smiling as she leaned a little closer to him, “I believe we’re one of the only couples so far that has truly done as she expected or required, even if we have had little moments of rebellion here and there.” They had played by the rules of society and by the rules of their hostess, and sometimes that had been a difficult balance. As for the curse, she assured him, “You need not apologize for your passion, Charles.”
The question of his vest color was one that she surely wouldn’t decide on today, but she did smile, “Once I begin to make some decisions about my own dress perhaps it will be easier to choose a vest with some matching qualities to my attire or the decorations.” There were too many questions yet to be fully settled on anything in particular.
She had to laugh, cheeks flushed as he pulled her in closer by the waist. He seemed to delight in that bit of wickedness from her, at least, and she burst into renewed laughter at the idea of bribing her mother or perhaps gagging her with a decoration. She buried her head a little into his shoulder and sighed, “Oh, Charles, she can be terribly meddlesome. I only hope that a gag or a bribe would be enough. I will do my best to… mediate with her whenever we do all meet together. I just hope that she doesn’t do or say anything too embarrassing.”
--
He did not need answers for everything tonight. Indeed, the only question that he'd wanted an answer for had already been asked and received. Everything else was a bonus.
The gentle rest of her head at his shoulder, and the sound of her laughter over the waves… it was perfect. Charles had truly never been more happy than he was in this moment. "There is nothing she might meddle in that would change my mind about you, Jane," he insisted. "She may cause her own embarrassment if she wishes, but she will not sway me. I promise it."
--
He assuaged the worry that she hadn’t been brave enough to approach or ask, and though she hadn’t wanted to need those words, they were a soothing balm to her soul. She lifted her head from his shoulder there so that she could lean in and steal another sweet and lingering kiss, “There you go… saying all the things I need to hear without even having to ask for it.” She smiled gently, and nodded as she met his gaze, “I know that your love is not fickle, Charles. You are steadfast and true. Our love and our marriage… we will make decisions for ourselves, yes? Regardless of what others may want from us.”
--
She wouldn't have asked the question if it wasn't something she was at least marginally worried about. Bingley didn't know what her parents' marriage was like, and given that he'd been away at school for many of his own formative years, he really had… no long-term, practical observation of a partnership like that.
"Seeking counsel from others may be worthwhile, at times, but… in the end, no one ought to exert control over our lives but ourselves, Jane. I do not wish to box you in, nor do I intend to bend to the will of others if they speak against some firmly held belief of ours."
His fingers had pressed in at her waist as they kissed, and he added a kiss to her forehead just after. "What has you worried, my love?"
--
Jane’s parents had a decent marriage all things considered, but her father was often too buried away in his papers and his study, and her mother too meddlesome in the lives of their daughters in her efforts to marry them all off. She listened to him, and quickly agreed, “Oh, I know the value in seeking counsel, especially with things that we may need to educate ourselves on.” Undoubtedly there would be many things that they would need to inquire about over time.
She didn’t fear that he would box her in, nor did she want to be entirely and stubbornly free of the bonds of marriage as some young women rebelled. Did she believe he would consider her opinions? Absolutely. Would they make decisions together in their marriage? Yes. He pressed that kiss to her forehead, asking after her worries, and she gave a soft shake of her head, “It is just… that I have spent my life thus far always more concerned about others ahead of myself. Everything I’ve done for so long has been for the benefit of my sisters, my mother…”
She took a breath, but just gave a small smile, “If I have learned anything in life it is that others will always have opinions, Charles. Opinions that they will use to attempt to sway us into one decision or another whether that be about our wedding or our home or our marriage… our family. Counsel and advice we will have plenty of use for when we seek it, I know. I just want us to be true to ourselves for what we wish, and not what anyone else would wish for us. I am… finished with putting myself last.”
--
He listened intently as she spoke, nodding a time or two in agreement. When it came time to reply, Charles took a moment to gather his words, knowing well that this was… something hard won for Jane. "I asked you to marry me because I trust you above all others, Jane. Because I value your opinions, your insight, your perspectives, and I want to seek those things out as we plan a future together."
Bingley shifted slightly, there on the sand, just so he could face Jane more properly. His hand eased from her waist, but his fingers easily found hers, intertwining. With no gloves between, that simple touch new and exhilarating even in its simplicity.
"I want you to put yourself first, Jane. You have spent so long doing everything but. You deserve to take precedence. To seek out what you want and to claim it, without question or hesitation. And," a little smile tugged at his features, "well, I rather think I'll be among those wants, after all."
I wish for someone I can confide in and laugh with… Someone who cares more for my heart and my mind than my beauty alone… I just wish to be loved and cared for by someone loyal and kind hearted.
"Our wedding, our home, our marriage, our family. This new life together is ours, Jane, and no one else's. I don't know how it will all play out, but I know I will go into each new day with more love for you than the one before."
--
He was everything she had wanted… everything she’d ever dared to ask for in a partner and so much more. Saying yes to Charles was exactly what she wanted and it was absolutely following her heart. I trust you above all others, Jane. Her heart fluttered, especially as he continued because so few others had ever cared for more than just her looks.
He moved in front of her, and she squeezed their hands gently as they intertwined. She laughed a little, but quickly assured him, “You are the first amongst those wants, Charles. Everything that you’ve promised me here… everything that we can have together in this life. Just thinking about it fills me with the most complete happiness.” She leaned just a little bit forward towards him, one hand reaching up to brush one of those wild dark curls back over his ear, “You embody all of my wildest dreams come true, Charles. Everything that you are is all that I could ever want or need. We will choose each other always - every day - and our love will only grow.”