bellamy blake (whoweneedtobe) wrote in storybrooketown, |
He heard the knock and Bellamy rose to his feet. It could have been anyone, but he knew who he hoped it would be. He doubted Monty would come without notice and he knew it couldn't be Jasper. It could have been an Octavia, a Lincoln, Raven, or hell, even Finn. But it was the hope that it wouldn't be them that had Bellamy move to answer without hesitation. He pulled the door open, eyes immediately landing on Clarke and he forced himself to pretend he didn't feel relief. He thought she might have decided to take his offering - to find a place to lay low and get that space she needed. His gaze swept over her, took in the dark circles under her eyes and the haunted exhaustion that rolled off her small frame in waves. Sympathy broke across his face before he could register it.
"Clarke," he murmured her name and stepped aside to let her come in. He would've pointed out this was her home too - she didn't have to knock - but he didn't know if he had the luxury of that anymore. His heart sat wedged uncomfortably at the pit of his stomach. She had to know how he felt at this point. Hadn't she seen it in his eyes when he asked her to stay at Camp Jaha? In the tear he hadn't been able to keep from slipping as she turned to go? Maybe she didn't know. Maybe she couldn't see past her own pain. Bellamy couldn't fault her and he wasn't sure he could change it either - she needed time and he didn't need to be another burden with emotions he himself couldn't find the strength to name.
They were a fine pair, he thought somewhat bitterly as he shut the door behind her. Murderers. Monsters. It was a burden he stoically bore without complaint. He said it before, he would do anything to protect her. He gave the confession to Lincoln and Octavia in another world under the impression he was talking about Gustus, but as Lexa drove her sword through that man's heart, Bellamy had only seen himself and Clarke in their places. So it hadn't been something even questioning when he offered to bear this burden with her. To take some of the weight from her shoulders. All he knew how to do was protect the people he cared about. Octavia. Clarke. Their people. He would have killed each person in that Mountain by hand if he had to - she had to know that. He sacrificed his 'innocence' in the irradiation, but he would have done it without her. If she wanted to be a monster, she would have to share that title with him.
"Come on," he said softly, walking back to the fire. The crackling and popping of the wood as the flames glowed and jumped would at least help ward off the painfully heavy silence that slipped between them. She came here for a reason and Bellamy chose to let her lead rather than try to jump into anything he had to say.