¢ℓαякє gяιffιи (borninspace) wrote in storybrooketown, |
Clarke wasn’t taking Bellamy’s death nearly as well as she pretended to. Lexa said he had died well, but she didn’t know. Liz Parker had told Clarke about her vision, about the vicious attack Bellamy had experienced. It was horrific. And like Finn’s death at home, it haunted her. Finn was here, but Bellamy was gone. Oh sure, there was at least one other Bellamy here, but it wasn’t the same. Clarke couldn’t even bring herself to talk to him. If she did, it was like she was just accepting this other Bellamy. She couldn’t do that. In fact, Clarke hadn’t talked to that many people in general. Lexa here and there. People at the clinic, that was about it.
She hadn’t even really spoken much with any of the Octavias since it had happened. What could she say? Bellamy had been their brother. So what if he and Clarke had been working towards something? She’d only known Bellamy a few months. Octavia had known him for over 17 years, he was one of the only people she’d known. How could Clarke’s grief compare with that? People died. That was just the way it was. Her dad had been floated. Wells was dead. Finn was dead at home, and now Bellamy was gone as well.
Clarke had thrown herself to work at the clinic, and she was barely even home. She knew she should be looking after Octavia, that’s what Bellamy would want. But Octavia could take care of herself and at least one of them had a Lincoln now too. She was monitoring him to make sure he was okay after the reaper drug. She was sure that they would contact her if something went awry.
Bellamy had happened to catch Clarke in a rare moment, when she was sleeping. Sleeping or eating was not something that came easy these days. And even after his death, she refused to give up his bed, his room. It still had his smell if she really let herself believe. It didn’t feel right to sleep anywhere else. She wanted to be close to him, in some way. This was all that she had now. She had the memory of Bellamy and the way he smelled, and she wasn’t giving it up.
His voice jarred her, and she sat straight up in bed, staring at him. “How did you get in here?” Her tone definitely implying that she had no idea this was the Bellamy that had been lost. She didn’t like the fact that this other Bellamy had simply let himself in like this. She couldn’t accept another Bellamy, she just couldn’t. That would mean the one they’d lost hadn’t been important, hadn’t been loved. Clarke couldn’t handle that. She just wanted nothing to do with the others.