InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "You expect too much."

Alex Karev (formerwrestler) wrote in storybrooketown,
@ 2017-02-15 10:53:00

Entry tags:

! post: network

Private to Izzie Stevens
So.... I'm not gonna lie, I do have a lot of anger towards you right now. But I know that if I want to get past it, I have to forgive you.

You know I'm not good at the forgiving shit. Or the talking about shit. But I'm gonna say it. I'm sorry I was a dick.

Also, I've been checking in on Duquette when Yang isn't looking, and I am actually really worried about him. He thinks I'm the version of me that's with you though so he won't actually talk to me.

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	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-15 05:08 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry too, Alex. I'm not going to give you excuses because there are none. I made a huge mistake and didn't realize it until it was too late. You were right when you said you deserve better. What do you mean you're worried about Denny? Is it his labs? He's not rejecting the transplant is he? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-15 05:22 pm UTC (link)
	I still was a dick. And at least you're not trying to give me a bunch of bullshit excuses. He's not rejecting the transplant. But I'm not so sure they're going to let him out, he's still not thriving after the surgery. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Izzie/Alex

overlyattached
2017-02-15 06:06 pm UTC (link)

I've had a lot of time to think about things, and I know there's no excuse. So I'm not going to insult you by trying to make what I did anything less than what it was. Just know that I regret it with every part of myself. And I'm trying to do everything I can to make up for those mistakes here.

Ah, yes. You meant his mental health. It's bad, I know. Derek ordered a psych consult for him. But I just want to march into his room and shake him. He's got a second chance here and it is breaking my heart that he doesn't see it that way.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Izzie/Alex

formerwrestler
2017-02-15 06:15 pm UTC (link)

I know you're with the other Alex. I don't plan to mess that up. Honestly I don't really want to get into a relationship. At least, not right now.

I don't think the psych consult is going to help because he's got to actually cooperate. I don't think he's going to. If they weren't checking to make sure he's eating he wouldn't.

It goes against my best judgment cause you know I'm no fan of him, but I think he's looking at a long stay.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-15 06:24 pm UTC (link)
	That's understandable. But if you ever need any help- or just someone to talk to as a friend, please know that I'm here for you. And I know Amber is too, if you'll let her. I've been trying to give him space, but I don't think I'm going to be able to much longer if his behavior doesn't turn around. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-15 06:46 pm UTC (link)
	Oh I know about Amber. She's been on my ass since I got here. It wouldn't be so bad if I was used to it. She's my little sister. I'm not used to her being able to match me blow for blow. Space isn't what he needs Iz. Space is just giving him the space to be depressed and wanting to give up. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-15 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	She's definitely tough, that's for sure. I like her. Of course I've always liked anyone who can go head to head with you. You don't think me being there reminding him of what he lost will make things worse? I'm terrified of making the wrong move here. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Izzie/Alex

formerwrestler
2017-02-16 04:54 am UTC (link)

I suppose I'm glad you're getting to know her. Although I never actually planned on my family being in my life. It was never something I actually seriously considered.

All I know is, he's going to end up in psych for awhile if he's not careful. You know after a huge surgery like his they don't let you go home if you aren't mentally handling things.

You need to give him tough love, Iz. I know that you think it's the wrong move but it really might be what he needs.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-16 03:27 pm UTC (link)
	She's a good kid. In med school right now. Did she tell you that? All right. I'll give it a try. Let's hope it helps. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-17 11:17 am UTC (link)
	No, she hasn't. I've been busy lately. Haven't spoken to her in a few weeks. It goes against every fiber of my being to help him but I can't just watch it happen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-17 08:35 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe you can grab dinner or something with her one night. I know she'd really like that. You're a good guy, Alex. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-18 12:41 am UTC (link)
	I haven't really been doing much of anything but working. Trying to avoid Yang. Don't get me wrong, she's family but she's so much more annoying than I remember. I'm glad you think so because I know I'm not. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-18 01:09 am UTC (link)
	You think? She seems like the same old Cristina to me. At any rate, you should make time for Amber too. You may not be close to her, but she's still family. Don't get me wrong, you can still be a gigantic ass. But underneath it all, you're one of the best guys I've ever known. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-18 07:38 pm UTC (link)
	We ate lunch together yesterday, it reminded me why we need Mer with us when we're alone. So if your mom comes here, you're going to talk to her? Iz, you know I'm not. I was the only person in the hospital who didn't love O'Malley. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-18 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not saying hang out with her every day, but you can check in with her every once and awhile. And yes, if my mom shows up here, I'll do the same. Think what you want, it won't change my opinion of you, Alex Karev. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-19 01:17 pm UTC (link)
	I'll believe it when I see it about your mom. I am not going to avoid her but I don't think I could do it all the time. Well I know it won't, you're married to older me. I really do wish we could have worked out, Iz. Especially since after you I dated Lexie. That was a really stupid idea. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-19 03:38 pm UTC (link)
	I will always be sorry about everything. The choices I made were mistakes and I know that now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-19 04:08 pm UTC (link)
	I wish I was at a point where I could forgive you. I just can't right now. Lexie was my rebound girl and I know I wasn't ready for that. And for me, the shooting just happened. I'm a little messed up right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-19 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	I understand, and I'm not expecting forgiveness right now. It means a lot that you reached out to me, and I'll happily accept that for now. I just want to see you well again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-20 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	You really messed me up. I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't know if I ever will be again. After all we went through and you left me? I was there for you while you were sick. I don't know when that will happen. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-20 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	I know. And I regret that more than I can say. It hurts me every day that my stupid mistakes did that do you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-20 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	I kind of wish I could back in time and change it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-20 09:04 pm UTC (link)
	Change which part? Marrying me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-20 09:36 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah. I know that's gotta hurt. But if I knew how it was going to turn out, I wouldn't have done it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-20 09:57 pm UTC (link)
	~~Alex, I~~ If I had known how things were going to turn out, I never would have left. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-20 10:03 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know that that makes me feel better. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-20 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	It's the truth. I hate myself for what I did to you, Alex. Honest to god hate myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-20 11:04 pm UTC (link)
	It doesn't change the hurt I feel. How angry I am. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-21 01:13 am UTC (link)
	I know. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-21 01:25 am UTC (link)
	I just.... I don't even know what I'm feeling. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-21 01:41 am UTC (link)
	You don't have to know how you're feeling right now. You've got a lot of complex things to deal with. It's understandable to feel confused. It gets easier. A little bit at a time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-21 01:45 am UTC (link)
	I can't talk about that with you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-21 01:48 am UTC (link)
	Maybe Meredith then. Do you want me to leave you alone now? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex formerwrestler 2017-02-21 01:53 am UTC (link)
	I really need that right now, Iz. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Izzie/Alex overlyattached 2017-02-21 01:59 am UTC (link)
	All right. Goodnight, Alex. (Reply to this) (Parent)