kleemoon (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} kleemoon) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} sticksnstrings,@ 2009-07-01 12:32:00 |
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Loyal To One -- 30stm
Title: Loyal to One
Author: kleemoon
Fandom: 30 Seconds to Mars
Paring(s): Jared/Tomo, Jared/Shannon implied and one-sided
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: M/m slash, implied incest, language, hints of violence
Disclaimer: Not true, don’t know them, didn’t happen, I am a liar
Beta: the stunning queencheeze and the fabulous jynnxx
Word-count: 10,190
Feedback: Always appreciated to feed my muse
Prompt Song: Loyal to No One by Dropkick Murphys (don’t look too closely thought)
Notes: Written for IJ Sticks & Strings. I am eternally grateful for all the help and support jynxx and queencheeze have given me on this, and no, I don’t know how it ended up so long ... sorry about that.
“I saw him, Shan.”
“You saw who, Jay?”
“Tomo.”
“Come home, Jared. Let’s talk about it.”
“No! I know it was him.”
“Where are you?”
“Detroit.”
“We searched every square inch of fucking Detroit two months ago. It wasn’t him that you saw. Come home.”
“I’m not coming home without him.”
“It’s time to move on. If he’s out there, he doesn’t want to be found. Come home, bro. Come home and let’s get the band working again.”
“There is no band without him, Shan.”
“That’s fucking bull shit! Fuck, Jay, you haven’t been home in a couple of weeks. Have you at least called Ma?”
“Tell her I’m okay, Shan. I’ll be in touch.”
“Fuck!” Shannon slammed his phone on the table with a cuss. “Fucking stubborn bastard.” He dropped his head to his hands and yanked on clumps of his hair. He had no fucking idea how he had let it get this far out of control but there was no denying the fact that it was. He felt responsible, he should have stopped Jared but he didn't. Too wrapped up in his own feelings to see past them and now it was too late. But then, what else was he supposed to do? He'd done everything short of physically removing Tomo from the situation and Jared was still obsessing over him. He couldn't see a solution because everything was so totally fucked up. Jared had dropped everything, and he wondered what exactly the last thirty-seven years of their lives meant to Jared if he was willing to throw it all away so easily.
Tomo couldn’t believe Jared had found him. And it had to have been Jared. He was thinner than the last time he’d seen him, which was hard to believe, and he was kinda greasy and scraggly, but it was him.
“It’s hard to mistake someone you’re so fucking in love with that it hurts. I’m still in love with him,” Tomo admitted to himself. It had taken everything in his power not to stand still instead of running away, not to let Jared reach him instead of hiding, not to call out to the man that he still loved.
But what the fuck was Jared doing here in the first place? What did he want with Tomo now? Hadn’t he done enough damage already? Was there more harm he wanted to do before tossing Tomo aside for good? And how come his fucking brother wasn’t tied to his fucking ass like he usually was?
“Fuck, I hope he didn’t recognize me,” he whispered to himself, wondering if Jared had actually seen him at all? And did Tomo really hope he didn’t, or was there still that stupid, blind place in him that hoped Jared had and was still looking for him?
“Excuse me,” Jared said to the man seated on the park bench. “Have you seen this man?” He held up Tomo’s picture. “He may look a little different, now. His hair’s longer and curlier and he has a thicker beard. The eyes are the same though …”
“Fuck off, dude.”
“I don’t mean to bother you but I think I saw him here earlier and I’m hoping maybe you might have seen where he went …” Jared’s words were cut off as he landed on his ass on the ground. “Fuck off,” he muttered, jerking himself from the grass. “Fuck you, motherfucker.”
“You best be the one fucking off, pretty boy. I’m sure you have some other pretty boys to fuck, so beat it.”
“How can you just tell me to stop looking for him, Shan?” Jared yelled at his brother for probably the tenth time that day. “He's your fucking friend, too.”
“No, Jared he is not my fucking friend! I leave the fucking part to you.”
“Fuck you, Shan! What's the matter with you?”
“What's the matter with me?” With me? I'm not the one who tossed his everything we’ve worked so fucking hard for away because some good fuck dumped me.” Shannon took a step back, but not before Jared managed to get one good slap in. "What the fuck was that for?"
“He's not just a good fuck, you asshole! I fucking love him. What's happened to you? What did Tomo ever do to you that's made you so goddamn angry and bitter towards him?” Jared stepped away from his brother, crossed the room and picked up his coat from a chair. “And if you ever say that about him again, this fucking brotherly relationship will be over.”
Jared slammed the door behind him as Shannon's fist smashed into the wall.
Jared walked backwards a few feet then turned and bit the inside of his cheek, tears of frustration threatening to explode from his eyes. Fuck that guy. Fuck everybody who didn’t want to help him. And especially, fuck Shannon. He had told him flat out that he saw Tomo and what did the fucker want him to do, come home? What the fuck was that all about?
He walked a little farther into the park and spotted a dark-coated figure sitting against a tree, black baseball cap pulled down over his eyes. “Tomo?” Jared whispered and quickened his pace.
The man held a pen in his left hand and was scribbling away in a notebook. The body looked right; same height and build, even the hat and sneakers looked familiar. “Tomo?” Jared whispered. He wasn’t entirely sure if he’d said it out loud since the beating of his heart was thumping so loudly in his ears. “Tomo?” he said, again, louder.
The man paused his writing, his pen stopping mid-stroke on the page and Jared could hear a sigh escape his lips just before the dark head raised up, revealing the chocolate-brown eyes of his lover. Or did he have to call him his ex-lover now?
“Jared,” Tomo said simply. “Why are you here?”
Jared dropped to his knees, all the breath leaving his body, his head swimming in dizziness.
As he watched Jared drop to the ground, Tomo’s mind whirred a million miles a minute. Had he become a fucking glutton for punishment or what? When had he become so soft? When had he become such a pussy? When had he become Jared Leto’s bitch? And why was that all he really wanted to be ever since that first night?
“How come you’re sharing with me tonight and not Shan?” Tomo asked as he climbed into the bed beside Jared. “You guys have a fight?”
“No,” Jared replied. “He’s just getting on my fucking nerves. Why? You and Tim have something going on?”
Tomo snorted loudly. “No. What the fuck, man? I’m not in the habit of doing guys.”
“You sure about that? I’ve seen you checking me out, dude.”
“Fuck you, Leto. You must need a fucking … wheelbarrow to carry that ego of yours around in.”
“A wheelbarrow?”
“I couldn’t think of anything else.”
“So which side do you want?”
“What?”
“Tomo, dude, quit looking at my fucking crotch and focus. Which side of the bed do … you … want … to … sleep … on?”
“There’re two beds, Jared.”
“Doesn’t mean we have to use both of them.”
Shannon was freaking out so badly he had to physically fight the urge to jump on a plane and drag Jared home by force. It'd been two fucking months, long enough for anyone to get over being dumped. Jared had to accept reality and move on, he had to, and it was up to Shannon to make him see that. He was willing to do whatever it took to help his brother get over Tomo. Shannon picked up his Blackberry and hit speed dial for Jared, again.
“Fucking cocksucker! Answer your fucking phone!” He realized yelling at the dial tone wasn't doing any good but it made him feel better, goddammit!
Yelling at the dial tone was about as much help as punching the wall; didn't stop Shannon from doing that, either. He was going to have to significantly step up his approach to Jared. Shannon had to remind Jared who he really loved and who he was really supposed to be loyal to. Enough fucking around, it was time for Shannon to stake his claim.
”I’m going to ask Tomo to move in with me, Shan,” Jared could hardly contain himself let alone the huge-ass grin that spread over his entire face.
“Move in with you? Don’t you mean move in with us?” Shannon's mouth hung open after he finished speaking and he struggled to find the words, any words that would explain the thoughts whirling around his head.
“Well, yeah, I guess. He’s here all the time so it’s not like it’ll be all that different, anyhow. It will make it easier to record the new album, though, if he’s always here.” Jared wouldn’t stop smiling. When Shannon actually thought about it, Jared had been in a ridiculously good mood for at least two days and it made Shannon's stomach churn now that he knew the reason.
“Don’t we see Tomo enough as it is?”
“We?”
“Well, what-the-fuck-ever. But, yeah ... we. I don’t want to see him night and day like you apparently do, Jared. And you know what your track record is with serious relationships.”
“How can you say that to me, Shan?”
“I’m just wondering if you wanna get serious so soon, Jared. You’re in your fucking prime, you can have anyone and everyone.”
“So soon? Tomo and I’ve been together for over a year, Shan.”
“Fucking someone doesn’t count as together.”
“Fuck you, it's more than that and you know it. I love him.”
“I might be more convinced if Tomo was actually gay, Jared.”
“What does that have to do with anything? Neither of us is gay, Shan. You’re really being an asshole.”
“Yeah, whatever. You’ll regret it but, hey, it’s your life.”
“Thanks for the support, big brother.” Jared stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?” Shannon muttered to his kit. “Fucking Croatian bastard.”
“You look like shit, Jay,” Tomo said, setting his pad of paper beside him on the grass and leaning forward towards the kneeling singer. “You know sitting like that is only going to aggravate your feet.”
Jared could feel his mouth hanging open but made no move to close it. Was he actually sitting there talking to Tomo? After two fucking months, was it finally happening?
“Can’t say I’ve ever seen you so fucking speechless,” Tomo teased.
“Where have you been, Tomo?” Jared finally spat out. “Everyone’s been so fucking worried.”
“Here and there. It’s been nice actually; no schedule, no one telling me what to do or not to do, no one looking over my shoulder …”
“No one disappointing you.”
“Yeah, that too. But I’m over it. Why are you here, Jared?”
“To bring you home.”
Tomo shook his head, his eyes not straying from the singer’s. “I don’t think we have the same home anymore. I know we don’t.”
“It didn’t happen the way you think it did, Tomo.”
“It could only have happened one way, Jared.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry really doesn’t cut it in this situation. Besides, you’ve already said sorry a million times in voicemail and texts. I don’t want your sorries and I don’t need them.”
“I love you, Tomo,” Jared whispered.
“Don’t say that, Jared. I found out what kind of love you’re into so ...” Tomo warned, the knuckles of his left hand turning white as he clutched the pen. “ ... you just can’t say that to me, anymore.”
“But I do. I love you, Tomo, more right now than I ever have.”
“No!” Tomo yelled, snapping the pen in half and jumping to his feet. “You can’t fucking say that!” Jared grabbed his arm, only to be thrown off. “Don’t fucking touch me!”
“I’m not letting you go, again, Tome,” Jared said calmly, stepping into the Croatian’s path. “I’m not.”
“Get out of my fucking way, Jared,” Tomo seethed. “I’ll fucking hit you if I have to.”
“Then do it,” Jared dared, stepping even closer to the storming man. “Maybe you’ll feel better.”
“I feel fine, Jared. I feel relieved. Didn’t you hear anything I just said? I’m fucking free from all the Leto bullshit. Free from you and your fucking brother.”
“No, you’re not,” Jared said. “You still love me, Tomo. The kind of love we have doesn’t just go away.”
“No!” Tomo screamed, just before his fist connected with Jared’s face. “I won’t love you anymore. I just fucking won’t.”
Jared sat on the ground, one hand cupping his jaw, pain radiating across his entire face. “No one has that much passionate anger without something else being behind it,” he mumbled, as he watched the man he loved walk away.
How did he always get himself in these fucking messes? How did Jared always get him into these fucking messes? How did that fucker always manage to get under his skin and make him think about things he just didn’t want to fucking think about? In Tomo’s mind, the best thing for him to do was fucking walk away. He’d said what he had to say, right? There was nothing else to say, nothing else to talk about. It had all been fucking said and done. He couldn’t believe he hit Jared, though. He’d never laid a hand on him before, even when he fucking deserved it ... more than once. Tomo had just spent two months wanting to tell the singer how he felt, wanting Jared to know that he didn’t need him anymore, needing him to know that Tomo was done with him, so why was he hesitating now? Why was every nerve in his body, every thought in his head, every beat of his heart urging him to turn around and go back to the man on the ground? Was it really possible to love someone that much … to love Jared that much?
“I don't care if you have to stop the fucking plane and kick someone off!” The girl behind the counter visibly cowered in the face of Shannon's anger, but he couldn't have cared less, if it got him on that plane, it would be worth it. “I'm going to Detroit tonight. Now get me your fucking manager, right fucking now!”
“Jared!” Shannon hissed into his phone, tapping his fingers on the counter and glaring relentlessly at the girl at the desk until she looked away. “Why haven't you fucking called me back, bro? I'm getting on a plane and coming to drag your ass home. Text or leave me a message while I'm in the air or I’ll kick your ass before I drag it.”
“Now, about that fucking flight. Someone had better have a fucking answer for me right fucking now!”
Running his fingers through his hair, Jared was surprised to see the outstretched hand in front of his face; Tomo’s hand. “Thank you,” he said, letting the man pull him to his feet. “Second time today that I’ve been on my ass on the ground.”
“Did you deserve it the first time, too?” Tomo asked, taking care to not stand too close.
“I suspect that I deserve it a lot. Why didn’t you leave? I would have let you go since I know that’s what you really want, now.”
“No, you wouldn’t have,” Tomo smiled.
“See, you know me more than I know myself. Can we go somewhere else to talk, Tome, please? Somewhere with ice?” Jared tried to grin but grimaced in pain, instead.
“No strings, right?” Tomo asked.
“I promise I won’t try anything.”
“I have a room not too far from here and they have an ice machine.”
“Our first shower together. Shouldn’t we take a picture or something?” Jared purred against Tomo’s slick wet back, his hands soaping up the beautiful tanned skin.
“Either you have a really bad memory or you’re fucking delirious,” Tomo chuckled, ducking his head under the stream of water to rinse out the shampoo. “We’ve showered together a lot, actually.”
“No. I mean it’s our first shower together when you don’t have to go home after.” Jared wound his hands around Tomo’s waist, smearing the gel in his hands over his lover’s belly and lower.
“I never go right home after a shower,” Tomo smirked. “I usually hang around at least long enough to fuck you.”
“But then you always have to go home.”
“... and I usually stay the night ...”
“Fucker,” Jared mumbled against the clean skin. “You know what I fucking mean.”
Tomo suddenly turned in his arms, shoving him up against the wall of the shower, grinding their dripping half-hard cocks together. “Why don’t you explain it to me? I love it when you get ... flustered.” His tongue lapped lovingly down Jared’s nose and over his lips, as the singer fluttered his eyelashes.
“I’m not ... flustered,” Jared moaned. “You know I mean ... oh fuck ...”
“You mean ‘oh fuck’?” Tomo growled, planting open-mouthed kisses over Jared’s jaw then moving to his neck to nip lightly. “Is that a “oh fuck me” perhaps or a “oh wanna fuck you’?”
Jared groaned as a hand suddenly grabbed his cock and gave it a slight twist. “I mean you don’t have to ... go ... home, and oh fuck, yeah, you really need to fuck me.”
Tomo chuckled and moved his body closer to Jared’s, again, adding his own cock to the one he was already holding, and rubbing them together. “It’s definitely a nice perk,” he growled, bending to suck a mark into the man’s collarbone. “Almost makes it worth it.”
“Worth it?” Jared squeaked. “What does that mean?” He tried to move away from Tomo’s stroking hand but was unavoidably trapped by the wall and his lover’s body.
“Just that as much as I love being with you all the time, Shannon’s driving me fucking crazy. But don’t pout, I’m not going anywhere. Relax, baby, I’ll show you how happy I am to be here.”
Capturing Jared’s lips with his own just long enough to take the singer’s breath away and stifle any other words that wanted to erupt from his mouth, Tomo licked his way down the wet body and dropped carefully to his knees.
“Hey Jay!” Shannon’s voice invaded the solitude of the bathroom, making Tomo jump back to his feet and lose his footing. Jared grabbed the Croatian just before he went down on his ass. “Jared? You in there?”
“What the fuck, Shan!” Jared yelled back, steadying Tomo and wrapping his arms around the wide-eyed man. “Get the fuck out!”
“Just needed to wash my hands. Didn’t realize you were busy,” the drummer’s voice muttered.
“This is my fucking bathroom. You have your own, what the fuck?”
“Mine is ... um ... my sink is plugged. You never minded before. What’s the problem?”
“The problem is ... get the fuck out, Shan!” Jared squawked. “Now.”
“Maybe you should lock the door if you’re ... busy, huh?” Shannon sneered.
Tomo held his breath as the bathroom door finally slammed shut. “What the hell, Jared? That was not cool.”
“It’s not like he hasn’t walked in on us before,” Jared said, trying to reassure a very irritated Tomo. “Come on ... where were we?”
“Getting the fuck out of the shower,” Tomo replied, turning to shut off the water. “Think I lost the mood.”
“I’m pretty sure I can get it back for you,” Jared purred, trying to grab his lover before he stepped from the stall. “Come on ...”
“Sorry. Maybe later when I don’t have thoughts of Shannon walking in on me giving you a blow-job ... definite fucking mood killer, babe.”
“Stupid fucker,” Shannon seethed, slamming his door and throwing himself on his bed. Who the fuck did he think he was? Didn’t he know that Shannon knew everything that was going on in his fucking house? The drummer had actually stood outside the door listening for a while before entering the bathroom and purposely interrupting the lovebirds. It was fucking amazing how well sound carried from a bathroom, really fucking amazing, actually. He couldn’t stop them from having sex all the time, but fuck if he wouldn’t at least try. He had been pretty sure that Tomo wouldn’t be able to perform after Shannon had barged in and he’d been fucking right. And Jared wouldn’t have liked that at all. When Jared wanted it, he wanted it right fucking then and right fucking there. Shannon would have to wait and see how desperate his brother got if Tomo kept being unable to perform. He was positive that baby brother’s loyalty would come back to him pretty fucking quick. Stupid fucker.
“It’s not what you’re accustomed to,” Tomo said, as he let Jared into the one-room apartment he’d been renting for a month. “Leave your shoes on. You don’t wanna step on a rat or a roach.”
“What?” Jared squawked, stepping back into the hall.
“Just kidding. I’ll go get some ice. Make yourself at home … or whatever.”
Jared pulled out his Blackberry and quickly texted a short message to Shannon then, tucking the phone back in his pocket, looked around the room. There were exactly five pieces of furniture; a single bed with a very questionable quilt, one small table with two chairs and a small chest of drawers. Blinking his eyes from the pain in his face, he struggled to not snoop around a little bit. But for fuck’s sake, Tomo had been gone for two months, wasn’t Jared allowed to be a little curious?
He carefully opened the top left hand drawer of the dresser, finding some ratty old t-shirts that he knew Tomo cherished and a hoodie. He opened the right hand drawer next; socks, boxers and something harder stuffed at the back. He shoved his hand further in and pulled out a silver picture frame. The picture inside was a favorite to both of them. It had been taken last Christmas, just after they’d finally told Jared’s mom about the two of them. It was the first time they’d kissed in front of anyone besides Shannon and Tim and they both looked exactly as they felt, really fucking happy.
“Still have to know fucking everything, huh?” Tomo’s voice said from the doorway, startling him and making him drop the picture, which shattered on the floor in a spray of little pieces of glass.
“Oh fuck!” Jared hissed. “I’m sorry. Fuck.”
”Jared?”
“Oh, hey. I didn’t hear you come in,” Jared said, shoving his notepad aside and rising to kiss Tomo, only to have the guitarist avoid his advances, and sit down in the chair across the room. “Something wrong?” Jared asked, his hackles immediately rising.
“Where were you last night?” Tomo asked, his head down, fingers playing nervously with the zipper of his hoodie.
“I was with Brent at that opening, you know that. What’s going on?”
“I know we’ve never talked about being exclusive …” Tomo started to say.
“I thought it was implied, Tome?” Jared slitted his eyes and tilted his head. Something was definitely bugging his lover and he knew Tomo was the master of beating around the bush.
“… and it’s only been a few months, but I kind of thought you’d at least give me a heads-up when you were seeing someone else.”
Jared tilted his head more and blinked his eyes at Tomo. “What?”
“Who were you really with last night, Jay? And be fucking honest, please.” Tomo glanced momentarily at Jared but looked down again.
“I am being honest. What the fuck are you talking about?” Jared moved to stand right in front of the Croatian, arms crossed, teeth biting madly at his bottom lip.
“Fuck, Jay! I understand that you may want to spread yourself around a little more or whatever …”
“What the fuck, Tomo!” Jared yelled. “The only one I’ve been spreading anything for is you, fucker.”
“But Shannon said …” Tomo finally looked up and into the very angry eyes of his lover.
“Shannon? He said what?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come at you like that. I understand if you want to be with other people and it won’t make me wanna be with you less. I just wanna know, that’s all.”
“Shannon said what, Tomo?” Jared was getting really fucking annoyed. He’d been accused of some stuff in the past but this time he was innocent and that pissed him off ... a lot.
“I don’t want to cause any problems between you guys, Jay, but ... he said you weren’t with Brent. He said you were with some chick that Brent set you up with, and Brent was just your cover.”
“Motherfucker!”
“I’m sure he just got it wrong. No harm done. I’m sorry I yelled at you. Can we forget I acted like such a jealous asshole and just move …”
“I love you, Tomo,” Jared said calmly, his eyes bright and determined.
“What?”
“I said I love you.”
“Really?” Tomo asked, standing up and facing Jared.
“Why is that such a fucking shock?”
“Well, Shannon said …”
“I’m thinking you need to listen less to Shan and more to me. Do I need to sing it to you or what?”
“That would be pretty cool.” Tomo smirked.
“Fuck you,” Jared said, smirking back.
“I’m not really sure what to say now,” Tomo replied, reaching out and taking Jared’s hand.
“Did you really think we weren’t exclusive?” Jared asked, squeezing Tomo’s hand and wrapping his other hand around the man’s neck.
“I knew I was, but I wasn’t willing to tie you down to it, in case you …” Tomo leaned his head in and rubbed his nose softly against Jared’s.
“I what?” the singer chuckled at the contact.
“Decided you were tired of me, I guess.” Tomo reddened slightly.
“Ah, that is so sweet. I think I may have thrown up a bit in my mouth,” Jared purred.
“Fuck you. You’re the pussy who said he loved me.”.
“Yes, I did. And you …?”
“Are very grateful.”
Jared leaned his head further in and softly kissed Tomo’s lips, one hand dragging down the man’s torso and stopping at the waistband of his pants. “Grateful? Is that all?” He nipped Tomo’s bottom lip between his teeth and sucked it into his mouth while his hand scratched the material of the man’s jeans.
“Do I have to say it?” Tomo moaned. “Don’t you just know?”
“Did you know?” Jared purred back, his fingers tracing the outline of Tomo’s hardening cock.
“No,” Tomo whispered. “But ... I’ve never said it before.”
“Ever?” Jared moved his mouth over the Croatian’s jaw, his lips dragging on the black stubble. “Maybe it’s time then. Or maybe you don’t feel the same way.”
“I love you, Jared,” Tomo groaned, running his hands down the singer’s back and over his ass. “Does this mean we’re exclusive now?”
“Only if you wanna be, babe,” Jared purred, again. “I’ve been exclusive since the first time we kissed but I can’t speak for you.”
“Haven’t even kissed my mother,” Tomo growled. “So … wanna spread yourself around a little more?” Jared pulled his head back and looked into Tomo’s eyes. “For me, I mean.”
“In that case … definitely. And how grateful are you exactly?”
His plan hadn't worked out at all. Shannon expected Tomo to dump Jared without a second thought and that he hadn't was, well ... really unexpected. Unexpected and downright fucking infuriating. Even worse, Tomo had told Jared what Shannon had said, squealing bastard. Who the fuck knew what Jared thought of him now. It made him sick but Shannon pretty much had to admit defeat. He'd underestimated Tomo, but it wouldn't happen again.
Fine, they were welcome to each other for the time being. Jared would get bored sooner or later, he always did; and when he did, Shannon would be waiting. He'd welcome Jared back with open arms, and Jared would remember exactly what Shannon meant to him. Tomo couldn't do the things that Shannon did for Jared. Tomo didn't know Jared inside and out, but Shannon did, he'd spent a lifetime learning it; knew how to bring Jared down when he was so stressed he couldn't see straight, knew how Jared needed to be put in his place when he lost all sense of reality. Shannon knew everything about Jared, all his childhood fears and secrets, all of his adult ones, too. Every single time Jared's heart had been broken, Shannon was there to put it back together. Lovers came and went, sometimes Jared fell a little harder than usual, and Shannon had to make a special effort to make sure the relationship didn't last. But at the end of the day, Tomo was no different from any of the others, and Shannon had had a 100% success rate so far. He'd make Jared come back, make him need his big brother again, and make Jared remember why.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. I’ll get you a new frame,” Jared said.
“Let’s get the glass out of your hand first. Hold still,” Tomo warned. “Don’t you know better than to pick up glass with your bare hands?”
“I got flustered.” Jared replied, starting to feel uncomfortably warm, as Tomo’s head got closer to him while he inspected the shimmering glass in his palm. “Tome?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“You brought the picture with you, does that mean you still love me?” Jared whispered.
“Jared, I don’t wanna do this. Just hold still and don’t talk, okay?” Tomo sighed deeply, trying to concentrate more on getting the glass out and less on Jared’s hot breath in his hair. “Bringing you here was a really bad idea. Letting you find me period was a really bad idea.”
“You let me find you? But then ... why ...? I don’t fucking get what’s going on. Shannon said … oww …”
“I told you to hold still. Fucking listen for a change,” Tomo growled. The last person he wanted to fucking talk about was Shannon. How could Jared be so stupid and ... heartless? “Come into the bathroom and we’ll rinse it off. I wanna see how deep it is.”
“You have a bathroom?”
“Funny.”
The cold water stung Jared’s hand but he held as still as he could, enjoying being so close to Tomo, enjoying the feel of their bodies touching, enjoying the familiar smell of his lover. “I do love you.”
Jared’s hand was ripped from under the faucet, his body pinned against the bathroom door and Tomo’s lips crushed against his before he even had time to react. “I told you to stop saying that,” the Croatian growled into the singer’s mouth. “I was dealing with what happened and then, just like in classic Jared Leto style, you showed up and fucked everything up, again.”
“So fucking deal with it,” Jared growled back, his fingers nimbly undoing the buckle on Tomo’s belt, followed by the button and zipper on his pants. “Ahh …,” he groaned as his hand slipped inside and touched the hot flesh. “Your mouth says you don’t want me here but your dick says otherwise, baby.”
Tomo moaned loudly as Jared fisted his cock and squeezed, his thumb running over the already-moist head and circling the slit. He pulled Jared’s hand from his dick and held both arms over the singer's head, his mouth pressing roughly against Jared’s and his tongue insistently poking between the singer’s lips.
“Fuck, Tome,” Jared groaned against the moving lips. “I need to ... I need ... let me suck you off, for fuck’s sake.”
“Is that what you say to him, too? Do you beg him, Jared? Or does he beg you?” the Croatian seethed, tightening his grip on Jared’s wrists. “Were you guys laughing at me right from the beginning? Or did you start your disgusting … thing, again, while we were together?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jared questioned. “I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re going on about, Tomo. And if we aren’t going to … do whatever, let me fucking go!”
“It must have been really hilarious, huh. Getting fucked by me, then going home and sucking him off, or getting fucked by him right after. Did you like it when he fucked you right after me since you were already wet with my come? Or did you have to wash me off you first?”
“Tomo, for fuck’s sake! What are you talking about?”
“But the one thing I don’t understand, is why you asked me to move in with you? Did it just make it easier to have us both in the same place? Did it save time?” Tomo paused and licked at Jared’s lips, drawing a growl of anger from the singer’s throat. “I must have been pretty fucking stupid not to know it was going on. How did I not notice? You were there with me when I went to sleep, and there with me when I woke up, so I guess I must just sleep really fucking hard, huh? Or did you guys only do it when I was out?”
Jared finally managed to wrench his wrists from Tomo’s. “You are fucking crazy. Shannon was right about you, man. You definitely have a problem.”
“Me? I’m the one with the problem? You’re fucking your brother but I’m the one with the problem?”
“What did you say?”
”Hey, Tome. Settling in, okay?” Shannon said, peeking his head through the door to Jared’s room; not Jared and Tomo’s room … Jared’s room.
“It’s not all that different since I spent most of my time here anyhow, Shan,” the Croatian said, smiling.
“Fucker,” Shannon growled in his head. “What the fuck are you doing in my house? You shouldn’t be fucking smiling, either, and you won’t be for long.”
“You’ve been here what … a week?” the drummer finally replied out loud.
“Three weeks, Shan,” Tomo snorted. Shannon tried to chuckle back and it came out sounding faker than shit, but, then again, he didn't care.
“So, the … other stuff doesn’t bother you?” the older man asked innocently, waiting for the look of confusion to grace Tomo's goofy-bastard face.
“Other stuff?” Yep, he was right, there it was.
“Well, you know … Jared and me?”
“I think after all the touring, I’m pretty used to you and Jared.” Shannon resisted the urge to just wrap his hands around the Croatian-bastard's throat and squeeze until his fucking head popped off.
“Yeah, but since it is our house, we can be more open about it here. Just as long as it doesn’t freak you out or anything.” He was trying really fucking hard to not let the huge-ass grin that was in his heart, show on his face.
“What are you talking about, Shan?”
“Oh, come on, Tomo. We’re all adults here, right … consenting adults. But if you can’t handle talking about sharing your boyfriend, I promise I won’t bring it up again.”
“Sharing him with who?”
“Well, technically, since I’ve been with him basically our whole lives, I’m the one sharing him with you. Guess you should be thanking me, huh?” Shannon allowed himself to chuckle, just a little, though the laughter in his throat was almost fucking strangling him with its force. Where was his fucking camera when he really needed it? Fuck, that would have been the best picture ever.
The bastard was still quiet after a few minutes and Shannon just couldn't stand it anymore. Enough of the niceties. Fuck the niceties. “You do know that Jared and I have been lovers since we were teenagers, right?”
Ha! Shannon watched as those big fucking floppy Croatian lips almost dropped down to his fucking chest. Where was his fucking camera! “But, I mean, hey, it’s good you’re cool with it. A lot of Jared’s fucks ... I mean, lovers, haven’t been so okay with it, at all.” He chuckled again, just for effect. What the fuck did Jared see in this guy? He must be good with his dick.
“Why are you saying that, Shannon?” the big schmuck finally asked. Dumb-ass fucker.
“Just being honest. We are living in the same house now, so no secrets, right?”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Doesn’t really matter if you do or not. All that matters is that you will never get him all to yourself.” Shannon had had enough. The Croatian needed to know what was what and Shannon was just the man to tell him. “Jared and I will always be together, as brothers and band-mates and lovers. But maybe we could do a threesome sometime. Jared says you’re pretty good at sucking his dick, not as good as me, of course, but well … I do know him a lot better than you, and I have had more practice.”
“Get the fuck out!” Shannon could not believe Tomo had just tried to order him around in his own fucking house. No-fucking-body got away with that. He had the Croatian pinned to the wall of Jared’s room in seconds, one arm tight against his throat, the other fisting his hair, and one knee shoved between Tomo's thighs.
“Don’t you ever fucking tell me what to do again, you motherfucking piece of shit!” Tomo tried to squirm away but he wasn't fucking strong enough, no surprise there. Shannon held him for a few minutes, watching as his face slowly turned red and his body began to shake. “Did you hear me, Milicevic? Do not fucking talk to me like that again, or I will fucking kill you, do you understand me? And you know what, I think it’s about time you stopped fucking my brother, too. Your time is up. Tomo has left the building.”
He let his arm loosen on Tomo's throat, just enough so he could breathe and utter a few words, which Shannon was dying to hear. “Fuck you, Shannon,” he croaked, as the drummer's arm tightened against him, again.
“Great comeback. Did you think of that one all by yourself? Jared always did like the dumb ones best.” Shannon smirked at the motherfucker and ground his knee harder into his crotch. He figured Tomo must have a pretty big dick, if the mass pushing back against his knee was any indication. That must be what Jared saw in the man 'cause Shannon could not see it being much else. And it certainly was not because Jared loved him. Jared knew full well that Shannon was the only one he loved.
“I’m gonna let you go, but don’t try anything stupid. I think you’ve learned your lesson for now.” Sliding his back foot to the side, Shannon brought his knee down; he carefully pulled his arm from Tomo's throat, and his hand from his hair. Tomo just stood there like the dumb fucker that he was, heaving and staring. God, Jared had no fucking taste.
“I’ll be expecting you to move out of my house pronto,” Shannon said, stepping towards the door and turning to look at Tomo. “Oh yeah, and feel free to squeal on me, again, if you actually think Jared will believe you instead of me. As for the band, your best bet is to quit ‘cause once you aren’t with my brother anymore, he’ll want you the fuck out of there, too.”
“Did you just say I was fucking Shannon?” Jared’s eyes were wider than humanly possible as he stared unbelievingly at Tomo. “Want to explain that statement to me, perhaps?”
“Explain it? You’re fucking kidding me, right? I think I heard it explained enough from Shannon.” Tomo turned his back to Jared, pushed past him, opened the bathroom door and went back to his room with Jared on his heels.
“Wait a fucking minute, Tomo!” the singer squealed, slamming the door to the Croatian’s tiny room and flying at him. He pushed the man to the bed and straddled his waist before Tomo had time to even think about struggling. “You do not just accuse someone of fucking their own brother and then walk away!”
“I’m not accusing, Jared. I’m stating the facts.”
“Fuck you, you are! No fucking facts I’ve ever heard of. Is that why you left? Because someone told you that Shannon and I are … fuck, I can’t even say the words out loud …”
“Fucking each other.”
“Thanks a lot,” Jared sneered, his eyes brighter and angrier than Tomo had ever seen them. “Did someone actually fucking say that and who the fuck would say something like that?”
Tomo snorted and struggled between Jared’s thighs. “Got it straight from the horse’s mouth or ass or whatever,” he growled. “Guess he didn’t like you moving your other dumb-ass lover into his territory.”
“You can’t be telling me that Shannon said that.”
“Bingo. And he didn’t really say it as much as fucking attack me with it.”
Jared took a deep breath and moved himself off Tomo. What the fuck was going on? Shannon had been acting weird for a while, but Shannon had always acted weird, hadn’t he? He slumped down against the wall, head in his hands, chest heaving from the anxiety he could feel starting to brew inside his body.
“Jared?” Tomo asked, moving off the bed. “Are you okay? What the fuck, babe? Panic attack?”
Jared nodded and tried hard to control his breathing as every inch of his skin began to crawl and his mind twisted and twirled. “Breathe, Jared,” Tomo whispered, closing the gap between them. “Breathe, baby. Let it pass. Concentrate.”
Tomo knelt beside Jared, one hand rubbing the singer’s back and the other clenched tightly around Jared’s fisted ones. “Keep breathing,” he murmured. “I’m sorry. I never meant to upset you like this. I figured Shannon had told you that was the reason I left.”
After several minutes of consciously breathing and Tomo's gentle whispering, Jared opened his eyes to look at the other man, his pupils slightly over-dilated, his shallow breathing evening out a bit. “That’s why you left?” the singer panted. “Because you thought …”
“I didn’t think anything. Shannon told me,” Tomo replied. Why the fuck was Jared trying so hard to deny what was going on? Didn’t the man have any sense of decency at all?
“It’s not true, Tomo,” Jared whispered. “It’s not fucking true.”
The tone of Jared’s voice made Tomo sit back on his heels and stare at him. “Then why the fuck would he say it to me?” he ranted. “Why would anyone say they were having sex with their brother?”
“I don’t know. I’m fucking floored, man. I had no idea Shannon would say such a thing.” Jared shook his head, his mind still spinning, but his thoughts slowly clearing.
“Why did you think I left then?”
Jared shook his head, again. “Shannon said you saw me kiss that friend of Brent’s, and you didn’t wanna put up with my … I think he used the word sluttiness anymore.”
“You kissed a friend of Brent’s?’’
“No! But she did kiss me and tried to, like, grab me … and Shannon said you walked in on us and then walked back out. I swear I didn’t kiss her, Tomo. I fucking swear on my life.”
Tomo tilted his head, his gaze passing through Jared, his suspicions finally coming together. All the times Shannon had told him Jared was cheating on him, had told him Jared was only fucking him because he was bored, or didn’t wanna work at a real relationship. All the times he’d confronted Jared with what his brother had said and had been assured it wasn’t true.
“Shannon set me up,” Jared said quietly, his body slumping back against the wall. “I don’t know why, but he fucking set me up … he set us up, didn’t he?”
Tomo brought his thoughts back to the man in front of him. Jared hadn’t lied to him. Jared wasn’t a fucking deviant. How had he believed that? How had he let himself get sucked so far into Shannon’s lies that he left the one person he had ever truly loved … still loved? “I’m sorry,” he said softly, moving closer and taking Jared’s hand. “I should have talked to you about it. You’re the one I love, not Shannon, and I should have fucking talked to you, not him.”
“Love?” Jared said lifting his head and meeting the soft brown eyes. “You said love, not loved?”
“Yeah. I never stopped loving you.”
“Even when you thought I was … with Shannon?”
“Why do you think I disappeared? I couldn’t be around you and not want to be with you, even if you were …”
“Which I am fucking not.”
“Fuck! I feel so stupid now,” Tomo said, lowering his head and closing his eyes. He felt Jared’s finger stroke gently under his chin and lifted his face to look into the beautiful blue eyes.
“But we can work it out now, Tomo. Neither one of us did anything wrong. Come home, baby.”
Shannon stood in the street and checked his phone. Yeah, it was the building number Jared had texted him. What a fucking dump, Jared was too good for this place. It was a fucking disgrace. Still, it suited Tomo and he had to admit, it did make him smile a little to know that Tomo had sunk so low. He was just in time; no doubt Jared had realized his mistake as soon as he saw the rat-infested hole Tomo was living in. First things first, rescue Jared, and gloat over Tomo's living conditions as soon as they were both safe and sound on the next flight back to L.A.
Tomo stifled a sob as he crushed his lips to Jared’s, winding his arms around his lover’s body and lifting him up. Without breaking the kiss, Jared wrapped his legs around Tomo’s waist and let the man carry him to the small bed. “Fucking missed you so much,” Tomo growled, pulling the t-shirt from Jared’s body and moving his hands to his pants. “Not ever leaving you alone again.”
“Just shut up and fuck me,” Jared growled back, shoving his own pants from his hips and grabbing Tomo by his open belt. “I haven’t been with anyone … have …?”
“No,” Tomo said, making quick work of his own t-shirt and jeans and letting himself fall on top of Jared. “Guess that means we’re both a little pent up,” he purred, rolling his hips against Jared’s, indulging in the feeling of their hard cocks rubbing together. “This is not going to be romantic or pretty, baby.”
“Fuck romantic and pretty. Just fuck me hard. That’s your only job right now.”
Tomo sneered and assaulted Jared’s mouth, pressing hard so their teeth dragged against their lips, the taste of blood from Jared’s cut lip filling their mouths. “Am I hurting you?” Tomo asked, pulling away.
“Only if you stop.”
“I don’t have any lube. Do you?”
Jared shook his head, his blue eyes bright with mischief and lust. “Have to do it the old-fashioned way then, won’t we?” he smirked, sucking two fingers into his mouth as Tomo moved to the side of his body.
Lifting his lower body slightly, Jared wound his arm behind himself and shoved his spit-soaked fingers in his ass, while Tomo leaned over and kissed him deeply. “I love it when you do that,” the Croatian growled, watching Jared's face contort with pleasure every time his fingers brushed his prostate.
“Ready,” Jared finally said, removing his fingers, laying flat on the bed, and bending his knees to his chest. “I need you, baby. Come back to me.”
“Get the fuck off my brother!” Shannon's scream echoed through the tiny room. “Get your goddamn hands and your fucking dick away from him, you motherfucker!” Shannon remained in the doorway, as Tomo scrambled to get off the drummer's buck-fucking-naked brother and find his clothes. “If you don’t want people to come in, you should lock the fucking door, you Croatian bastard! Didn’t I already fucking tell you that?”
“Shannon! What the fuck, man!” Jared screamed, as he pulled a blanket around himself.
Why the fuck was he doing that? Jared had never been shy around him before. Shannon knew it had to be Tomo's lies filling his pretty, little head.
Before Tomo or Jared knew what was happening, Shannon sailed across the room and landed on top of the Croatian, his hands wrapping around his throat, thumbs pressing hard into his flesh. Shannon felt Jared's fingers digging into his shoulders and felt a rush of lust run through his body until the fingers became sharp, short nails digging into his flesh.
“Get the fuck off him, Shannon! Have you lost your fucking mind?”
Jared managed to pry Shannon's hands from Tomo’s neck but in the next second was sent flying across the room by his brother's powerful forearm. “Don’t you fucking defend him, Jared! You know as well as I do that it’s time to let him go. You don’t fucking belong with him. He’s nothing! He’s fucking nothing!”
“He’s who I love, Shan,” Jared said calmly, lifting himself from the floor and walking to where Tomo lay panting. “He’s who I'm with and want to be with.”
“NO!” Shannon screamed. “You’re fucking mine! You’ve always been mine and you’ll always be mine, Jared. You fucking know that. He’s made you forget who you belong to, who you really love.”
Jared helped the Croatian to his feet and sat beside him on the bed, stroking his hand. “He is who I belong to. You’ve got a fucking problem, bro. You need to get help or something.”
“You’re the one with the problem. Fucking us both and then denying it. Why can’t you just accept once and for all who you love more than life itself. Me. I’m the one who’s always been there for you. I’m the one who picks up all your fucking broken pieces when pieces of shit like him hurt you. I’m the only one who loves you, Jared.”
“I love him, Shannon,” the Croatian suddenly spoke up. Shannon cursed under his breath, really wishing he'd pushed harder on the bastard's throat.
“Don’t you fucking talk to me!” he yelled at Tomo. “He doesn’t love you and he never will. You’re just a fuck-toy like all the others. He is loyal to me and I am loyal to him, that’s all the fucking matters. You’re nothing and you’ll never have him … ever.”
“You’re loyal to no one, Shannon, no one but your fucking self,” Tomo seethed, stepping slightly in front of Jared ... just in case.
Shannon rose from the floor and grinned wickedly. He knew it was time to show Tomo who was really boss around here, and to show Jared how fucking serious he really was. And to collect the reward he'd been due for so long ... his little brother. “Let’s go, Jared,” he said, holding out his hand and grabbing for Jared. “Let’s go home. To our home.”
“Don’t fucking touch him!” the Croatian cried out, lunging at Shannon and knocking him into the wall. “Get the fuck out of here, Shannon.”
“Leave, Shan,” Jared said, quietly. Shannon heard the words, but knew Jared didn't really mean them. He was the only one who really loved Jared. He was the one who had been with him from the very beginning. They belonged together. “Go back to L.A., Shan. We can talk about this when I get back … when we get back.”
“There’s no way in fucking hell that you’re bringing him back to my house.”
“Your house? Well, technically, I’m the one who bought it but you know what? You can have the house, if that’s what you want. Tomo and I will move.”
“You have to choose,” Shannon said, calmer now. “You have to choose between your brother and your fuck-of-the-moment.” He knew Jared would not pick the dumb Croatian fucker, only an idiot would pick him over Shannon, and Jared was not an idiot.
“I don’t wanna choose and I'm not going to choose ... but if you make me, you won't like my answer,” the singer said. “You're not acting like yourself. I love you, but you need help.”
“See!” Shannon said, pointing his finger and waving it around at Tomo. “Did you hear that? He loves me, you bastard, not you.”
“I do love you, Shan, but I love Tomo, too. You’re my brother but he’s my lover and that’s not going to change. We can fix this. Just let me help you. Just let me get you some help.”
“What? I don’t need any help. You’re the one who’s fucking crazy, picking him over me. I’ve always been loyal, where’d your loyalty go, Jared?”
Jared shook his head at Shannon as Tomo walked up behind him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. Shannon thought they were both fucking pathetic. Fucking goddamn pathetic. Maybe they did fucking deserve each other.
“I've always been loyal to you, Jared.” Shannon's thoughts whirled around in his head as he forced himself to breathe, to get control of his emotions, to stop ranting. Jared's eyes were intense, and Shannon could tell by the stance of his brother's body that he wasn't going to get what he wanted ... at least, not right then and there. “I ... um ... wow,” he panted, as he ran his fingers through his spiky hair, thinking fast, “I really haven't been sleeping very well ... I think it's caught up with me, finally. I've just been so worried about you.” He paused and glanced away, to hide the lie in his eyes. “And you too, Tomo. Fuck. I don't know what to say.”
Looking back at his brother, Shannon could have sworn that Jared's eyes instantly softened. “Do you wanna sit down, Shan? You look pretty fucking exhausted.”
“No,” the older Leto said, calmly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go off on you like that. You guys must have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll go, and leave you guys alone.”
“You should go see a doctor. Maybe you’re just a little stressed. Why don’t we go to the hospital and see if they can give you something to relax you a little.”
Shannon paused a moment, wondering if Jared's statement meant he would leave with Shannon, and without Tomo. One look at Tomo’s face and into his intense dark eyes, took that hope away, fast. Shannon thought the Croatian might actually be smarter than he gave him credit for.
“We can talk in L.A., Jared,” Shannon said, forcing a smile onto his lips. “We can decide what to do about the house then, too. I know you guys need to be alone so I’ll um … talk to you … yeah, back home.”
He walked to the door, completely conscious of his entire body. He didn't want to move so fast that it seemed like he was trying to escape, or so slowly that he looked insincere. He could feel the Croatian’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, and fuck if he didn't have the biggest urge to just turn around and bash his fucking face in. But calm, cool, and collected was how he remained.
“Hey, Shan?” Jared called out. Shannon's teeth physically ached from holding back the grin he was stifling. “Do you need us to call you a cab?”
Shannon shook his head. “Naw. Think I’ll walk for a bit, then grab something to eat. Sorry for … well, you know.”
“You gonna be okay?”
“Yeah. I'll call you later, Jay.”
With a mighty, guttural groan, Shannon impaled the man he was holding against the wall in one swift, hard stroke, his balls slapping the man's ass as a gasp escaped his throat.
“Fuck man! I thought you'd at least use lube.”
“Shut the fuck up!” the drummer sneered, pushing the man's face into the wall. “I bought you a fucking drink. What the fuck else do you want, flowers?” He snapped his hips and shoved the man harder into the wall as his thrusts became faster.
At least the guy had nice hair. It was kinda like Jared's hair, old-school style. Shannon grabbed the slender hips and dug in his fingers, slamming harder into the hot body. The guy had Jared's build too, well, not exactly. The thought of fucking his brother's hard body made lust shoot through Shannon's groin. Fuck, what a waste to have that fucking Croatian bastard getting what Shannon deserved.
“Fuck. Can you at least grab my dick, man?”
Shannon grabbed the man's hair, anger racing through him as he was broken from his lustful thoughts. “I told you to shut the fuck up. I don't even give a shit if you're conscious or unconscious while I fuck you.”
Walking out of that room had been the hardest thing Shannon had ever done. Leaving his beautiful brother in the arms of that nothing, that goddamn, fucking, piece of shit, nothing. But he could be patient. He'd been patient for a long time while Jared had fucked his way around the world. He was such a slut, making Shannon wait for so long, shoving all the skanks he had fucked in his face, pretending it wasn't Shannon that he really wanted.
As his orgasm built and heated up his whole body, Shannon moved his hands from the man's hips and wrapped them around the slim neck. Fucking Croatian. He'd get his. Shannon could play nice as long as he had to, but when the timing was just right, Tomo would get his.
“I dunno, Jay. I don't think this is as over as you think it is,” Tomo said, running his fingers nervously through his hair. Jared sat on the bed, his teeth biting anxiously at the inside of his cheek. “Didn't he seem a little too calm to you when he left?”
“No, babe. We'll get him some help when we get home. He probably just needs some pills for anxiety or stress or something. He'll come out of this. Like he said, he's been worried and he was probably afraid you'd still be too mad to take me back.”
“I dunno ...”
“Besides, I don't want to talk about him anymore. I only wanna talk about us because I fucking love you and I believe we were interrupted while we were catching up. You need to fuck me now before I explode.”
Ignoring the choking noises filling up the bathroom stall, the drummer gave in to the climax that rocked his body, his hips snapping again and again against the man's ass. When he finally shot his load into the slumping form, his only thoughts were of Jared on his hands and knees crawling back to him, Jared begging to suck his cock, Jared demanding that Shannon fuck him. There was no doubt in his mind that his brother would remember who he was loyal to.
It might take some time, but Shannon was willing to wait ... at least for a while.