Here

[Mason expected to wake up next to Katherine. He didn't expect to wake up 17 of his exes (including Midge), Axel, his ex wife, Q, some weird guy, Nicky, Ronnie, Kitty, Marty, Ike, Alexis, Gwen, Alfie, Jane, some rich looking douchebag, Lorraine, Oz, Natalie, some other rich looking douchebag, Ricky, Johnny, Winnie, Lola, the dude who's dating Hazel, two hot displaced girls, and two weird looking guys. He rolls off the massive bed because he's at the edge and there are 44 other people in it and shouts]
Raise your hand if you woke up next to your ex. [He raises his hand] Okay, raise your hand if you're ready to fucking party. [He turns on the music and suddenly it feels like a club] Let's get fucking high.

I just want to say I'm so sorry. I had no idea you didn't tell Skye that you asked me out that day in the ice cream store. If I knew it was a secret, I never would have mentioned it to her when I saw her today.

Let me ask you all a question.

My idea of a friend is when you do a lotta things together and have a lotta fun, but my definition of love is different. You touch and hold each other and you only want to be alone clinging to each other... but maybe I'm old fashioned. So for all of you people, do you have friends that you hug and kiss and maybe even more but you call "just friends"?

ETA: Also would you live with them and share a bed?

Here.

Okay so, here's the official list ranked from best to absolute worst. Honestly everything under Midge on both lists is just sad. But, pun intended, here we go. The official Mason certified booty list is as follows.
( Read more... )

So if we're going to do this, we're going to have to do this right. We need rules. We should both make some.

[This video with this music!



[Mouse is 13 sitting across a desk from Seth. Seth nods his head slowly.]
To be clear, I asked you to do me a favor and you're saying no, thank you.
[Mouse squirms a little in his seat, anxious of what's to come. He tries to explain.]
I can't.

You can't what?

I can't -- I can't cut someone's eyes.

You physically cannot?

Yes. No, I mean I just can't. Please. No, thank you.

[Seth lunges across the table a split second later, grabbing Mouse by his collar and dragging him across the desk to face him.]
No, thank you. [Seth hisses through his teeth and drags the boy down the hall. He opens a chest and throws Mouse in. He locks it. Mouse screams and begs to be set free.]

I'll be back in a few days. You think about what you've done, Mr. Cratchit.]

[Mouse is sixteen. He and Cole are wrapping a crying man in chains. Dorian takes a last drag from his cigarette before flicking it away. He kneels down next to the man.]

Please. Please don't do this. I'll never touch her again, I swear. Never. Tell Seth I learned my lesson. I'll never do it again!

I know. [Dorian pats the man's cheek and rises up again. Brick hitches the chain to the back of a truck. Mouse pours gasoline over the man's body and climbs into the driver's seat. Dorian, Brick, Oatie and Cole climb into the back of the pickup.]

Gun it. [Dorian orders. Mouse starts speeding, the man screams behind them. Oatie aims his lit cigarette at the body and flicks. The man ignites into flames.]


[Mouse is doing his homework and gets a text from Seth to meet him at his house. The boy goes immediately. Seth has a report card in front of him.]
What do we say to D marks, Mouse?

[Mouse doesn't answer right away.]
I'm doing extra credit.

Don't make me ask again.

[Mouse blinks slowly and swallows hard.]
No, thank you.

[Seth smiles. He gets up and walks out of the room. Mouse follows. They enter a room and then Mouse panicks. He tries to run. Seth grabs him and shoves him in the chest.]
No, thank you.

[Mouse is 18. He's standing in front of a family of four who kneel before him, Dorian, Oatie, Pat, Cole, Agnes, and Camellia. Brick is beating a man to death in front of them. Once he's dead, Dorian asks for the next volunteer. The woman sobs uncontrollably. Agnes slits her throat. Dorian picks another at random and smashes in their head with a bat. Cole shoots one in the knee. Mouse gets a text from Seth. They all stop.]
He says leave one. [Cole shrugs and shoots the one untouched in the head. Pat complains loudly that blood splashed on his banana. He groans as he tries to eat around it and decides he can't.]

What did they even do? [Cam asks as she kicks the injured one left in his wound.]

I don't ask questions. [Mouse replies. They ride away.]

[Montage of the Hooligans beating people, some to death. They mutilate others. There are several shots of Mouse being thrown into a chest only to be released days later covered in his own waste and vomit.

Final scene: Mouse is 19. Seth calls them all into a dinner meeting. When the meal finishes, Seth stabs Oatie in the back of the head with a knife and has them dispose of the body. All of the Hooligans are visibly shaken, save for Pat.

Fade to black.]

Someone call a tailor because I think Stepfurt needs a Button.

Does anyone know a really good parenting class a pregnant person could attend?

So I'm having a hard time finding my niche here. I can rent a space to start up a club like the one I used to work at, but I can't afford it alone. Is anyone willing to go in on this with me and then work there?


Men 21+
Looking for talent. Can you dance with your clothes off? Come audition. [Location]

Come be my friend.

I'm thinking of starting a youth outreach program. Volunteer mentors can look out and be a shoulder for kids in a totally confidential space with people they know won't judge them. Who wants in?

Hey there ladies and gentleman, are you tired of dating bums? Well there's some hope in sight. Here is Starshine's list of Stepfurt's top 17 most eligible bachelors!

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