[Cap can't catch a break, he's been bitten by a "Homelander" tick.]
There are going to be some changes made. Our town needs heroes. Real heroes. The Avengers.

They need hope in these troubling times. Between the fall of Stark Industries, the new villains popping up every day, our townspeople need someone to believe in. We used to be that before we started pandering to criminals. We need to send a strong message to the universe that we will protect them.

Sam, Bucky, Millie, Wanda, Quicksilver, Nat, and I will be the team. Everybody is entitled to one sidekick. There will be only one version of each member on the team. I will be reviewing the versions and tapping the ones most qualified for the position. All other versions will lay low or consult the main version before conducting themselves in public. No more Bucky versions getting mauled on the street for something one did. If there's a problem, contact the team and we will either handle it or approve that you do. Our public approval matters.

[He sighs]
And the rehabilitation team is disbanded. We can't show a soft approach to crime. From here on out, we're the final line of defense. Dorian and his team graduate. HYDRA will be kept in lockup downstairs until they are ready to reenter the public, I'll leave that to the other version of me's discretion. Andi, Cyndi, Mortie, Helena, James, and Alice are released from the program and are being added to the Junior Avengers. Suzie is off of the Junior Avengers. Lucien is the head of the New Avengers. We need to present strength and strength comes from power.

Hereee

Assemble at my tower please and thank you. Right now would be a good time.

Okay we need to talk. It's not enough that you immediately broke your promise to me. Oh don't worry, Nat, I won't bring anyone home with me -- then you take your conquests home to fuck in our bed. Then you sabotage my dates. Charlie told me what you said. You told him that my jeans didn't do my ass justice? Who even talks like that! He ran away so he didn't get "entangled" in whatever I had with you, which according to you, is nothing. Jesus Christ, Steve, what's your deal?

What am I looking at, Micah? [He says, looking down at the feed. It's his camera, he's livestreaming and making this face. He didn't see the meme.]

So sorry, I know a lot's going on with like Bucky and stuff? But we caught the Green Goblin. It's an old classmate of mine. Liz Allan. She says she doesn't remember any of it and guys, I don't know what to think.

Hello, this is Howard Stark from Stark Industries. I'm excited to be here today introducing the newest cutting edge advancements in technology and bio-chemistry.

As many of you know, Captain America is a super soldier. What you may not know is that the serum that changed his body into this ultra capable fighting machine was created by me and my colleagues. We struck gold and since then, we've never been able to recreate that serum. Until now.

Introducing Vera Munch and her Liberty League. [A group of 5 girls (including Marina and Thaleia) walks onto stage following Vera. All physically fit girls ranging from 16 to 18 years old. They're dressed in matching black uniforms and standing like soldiers] I know I saw some news buzzing around about these girls fighting crime, they're fantastic. I know they're young, but they've been trained in every fighting style that exists in this universe. Every one of these girls is as strong and as fast as Captain America himself, and they'll be out to help the Junior Avengers and police officers keep you safe.

[The audience erupts into applause] But wait, there's more. The geniuses at Stark Industries have developed [introduces technology that was stolen by a local who entered a sweepstakes].

And last but certainly not least, I'd like to introduce the world to my son. The man who is truly worthy of inheriting this company when I pass, my pride and joy who has never in this universe joined me on stage. Roscoe Stark, come on out here. He's the most brilliant man I know.

[The talk continues with several more super impressive stolen inventions and medical advancements derived from super serum. He fills the full 30 minute segment he was booked for with fantastical theatrics that would inspire any young scientific mind. When he leaves the stage, there's a standing ovation. The girls, Vera, and Roscoe all Howie exit the stage.]

[Tony;Each seperately]
After years and years of wishing and waiting for any version of you to become a real man, I finallqa found a son who's capable of leading a company.

Hur

Hey.

You got a minute?

[Natasha tries to reach Millie first, but her speed's no match for Tony's suit. At least they were both going to bring her to the tower anyway. All of the Avengers convene there to discuss this issue. When Cap arrives, he's walking in on a debate already in progress.]
I get it. I was watching the case the whole time and if that was my kid out there, I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. I'm not famously unemotional myself. She's a parent and the action she took is totally understandable, but actions have consequences. If she's upfront and turns herself in I think she has a case for temporary insanity. Worst case scenario, she ends up in Steve's rehabilitation program.

[Sam's not convinced.]
How can you expect us to put our trust in the system after what we saw today? We can't put our faith in a corrupt system and expect them to do the right thing. This needs to be settled in house with us. With Steve.

That's not how this works. [Tony fires back.] If we act like we're above the law, we have no right intervening in it.

Anyone care to fill me in on this place?