Rikki Barnes aka Nomad (nomaderwhat) wrote in starnomad, @ 2015-03-19 23:45:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: anakin solo, character: rikki barnes, date: [61.02], location: coruscant |
Who: Rikki Barnes & Anakin Solo
When: 61.02
Where: the Solo apartments on Coruscant
What: A discussion after an unintended holo conversation
Rating: Low
Status: COMPLETE.
Anakin stared at the place where his dad had been just a moment before. A few moments before that he'd been bewildered at the idea that in the entirety of the Undercity his dad had somehow managed to run into Rikki Barnes, and then help her out somehow, and never get her introduced to Mara even though it seemed as if it had been long enough ago that Rikki might have not yet found her Aunt. And there were questions there that sat in the back of his mind to be turned over in their turn but right now he didn't move. His brow was pulled together in a furrow and his head bowed over the comm panel just slightly, shoulders pulled forward as he thought through his father's last words. Life as the child of Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo, war heroes, Chief of State (& spouse), Force sensitive grandchildren of Anakin Skywalker, had always been uncertain. He could laugh about kidnapping attempts now, but it had been a real threat for him and his siblings at several points throughout their lives. His mom had frequently been away on diplomatic business with his Dad usually tagging along with her. Threepio had been a parent for Anakin almost as much as Leia and Han had been. His mother's childhood friend and assistant, Winter, had been equally so. But one thing had been certain throughout all of it. He had never once doubted his parents love for each other. It had been the foundation he'd built his world around, even if they weren't always there to support it like he might have wanted. But while his mom, a former Alderaanian princess, might have had her pick of the political and aristocratic men of the galaxy including Prince Isolder of Hapes who had recently been in the news with Leia Organa Solo oddly enough, she had picked his Dad. She had picked his dad and they had stayed with each other for over a decade now, nearly two. And now it seemed she wasn't talking to him. Anakin wondered if Jacen knew that or if he assumed, as Anakin had until just a few moments ago, that his parents had been in communication with each other - even if not frequently. He'd known that they weren't in the months following Chewie's death... He'd just assumed- He stepped up to the comm panel and flipped the switch to clear any remaining transmission from his Dad's ship. Whatever his personal family troubles, Rikki was here for something, and the thought was cheering. He straightened his shoulders and turned around to give her a lopsided grin. As he looked at her, the memory of her hand on his shoulder pressed back into his consciousness and he was hard pressed to not flush again thinking of it -- or how much he wouldn't mind it happening again. Maybe with fewer layers of fabric between his skin and hers... "Sorry, impromptu comm. It can be hard enough to get through to him recently so I thought I should take it." Alternate universe or not Rikki knew Anakin well enough to see that smile for what it was. While it would be so easy to brush that nagging feeling aside, to ignore what was going on, what good would that do either of them? Rikki had come over to drag Anakin out as support but if his head wasn't focused, if it was clouded by whatever his father had said then even if she was going to approach this purely practically she couldn't just ignore what had just happened. Then there was the fact that she didn't want to just be practical, she cared if Anakin's smile was real or if somehow it had been forced through for her benefit. While Rikki lived to see him smile, she wanted that smile to mean something other than masking. "You don't have to apologize." Rikki watched him carefully, her eyes flickering from the comm back to Anakin's face. Part of her wanted to just hug him and she wasn't entirely sure why. Granted Rikki often wanted to hug Anakin or simply to just find some reason to touch him, to establish her connection to him that had always seemed to help ground her. But she needed to find reasons to do so because even if it seemed the most natural reaction in the world to her this Anakin wasn't used to it at all. "Good news?" she asked, hoping that might prompt something. Was it good news? Anakin considered the question Rikki had asked. He'd been glad enough to hear from his dad and the conversation seemed like it had been all right. Certainly better than some he's had in the past year with his father. But there was that edge of awkwardness that had crept in that Anakin felt he couldn't quite brush away as just bad connection in the technology. It might be a bad connection between himself and his father. The smile faltered a little but he kept his lips at least turned up as he stepped away from the console. "You want something to drink?" He asked almost as an aside as he slid open the door and tilted his head for her to follow him on his way to the kitchen. "There was some good news," he said in response to her question. "I mean, I think it's probably good. Apparently my dad has been helping this guy Droma to find the rest of his clan. They're Ryn, so family is pretty important and they were scattered after..." Anakin wrinkled up his nose. "Ithor? I don't remember exactly but they have been apart for a while. So that's where he's been. Helping Droma. And uh, apparently they found each other but they're among refugees. It's not like they've anywhere else to go. So my dad has signed up with SELCORE to ... Help I guess. So he'll be in one place for a while. That's good I think." Instead of answering Rikki simply followed, falling in step behind Anakin as he headed towards the kitchen. It was a distraction, something to keep him busy. But if he focused on something else other than why she was here then maybe she could get him talking. They were starting to talk more, there was a chance he might confide in her. She was finally getting used to the fact that Anakin didn't just open up to her anymore, it was back to prodding through the facade of being all right. And Anakin was always so good at just putting on a smile. "That explains why he's been difficult to reach." Rikki offered as he fell into his answer. Helping refugees find each other, for a moment Rikki's heart went out to Jacen and the thought of that work actually suiting him. Granted there was a fair amount of politicking involved depending on what this help ended up being, but if the family was important that could translate into more resources for the Jedi if they could add influence. And more influence and resources would be very important as they came closer to the attack on Yavin and the eventual fall of Coruscant. "That's the good news then. So what's the bad news?" She asked, stepping up so she was walking next to him. Anakin stepped up to a cabinet opened the door and pulled out a bottle of juice, another of cider, and turned back around to sit them both down on the island table in front of him. He glanced over at her, thoughtful for a moment. He thought he was supposed to be the Jedi, and he thought his smile had been a bit better placed than that, but maybe he shouldn't be surprised that Rikki seemed to know that it wasn't all exactly as cheery as he was making it out to be. It should maybe not feel as awkward to talk about his parents to Rikki, under the circumstances. They'd talked about a lot of things together in the past few weeks, and she knew as well as most just how much Centerpoint wore on him, maybe she even knew how much it continued to do so. She got it a lot better than Jacen, who seemed to assume the right decision had been made, or his Dad who seemed to have taken the news that Sal-Solo intended to fire it as confirmation that Anakin should not have done so. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and then reached for a bottle opener and took the two caps off and motioned for Rikki to choose one of them. "Nothing. At least nothing I can - It'll be good. He's working with SELCORE officially, so it's state business. He cares about the refugees and he's trying to help them. It's personal, which, right now is probably what he needs. Jacen's going to go help him, which," Anakin waved a hand. "I don't get Jacen's thing, but at least he'll be helping someone and while it feels a little bit like a waste to me when I consider how much Jedi could help the New Republic if they would let us, and Uncle Luke would offer, the reality is it'll probably be good for Dad to have Jacen there and he is helping people. Which, you know - no one is of no consequence. The little people matter too. It's why we do the big stuff, to try to help those people and if not give them their homes back, at least carve out a safe place for them somewhere else." He stopped and looked down at the bottles for a moment. It didn't even begin to touch what had really bothered him and if he couldn't trust Rikki... who could he trust. "I thought he'd surely been talking to mom." Rikki took her place on the opposite side of the island, waiting a moment before taking the cider and simply listening. This wasn't a conversation that happened in the early hours when everyone else had gone to bed. Maybe that was their safe zone, where it was just easier to be honest with each other when there was the illusion that no one else was around as the sleepless planet slumbered around them. Right now it was mid morning, the world bustling around them even if the Solo apartments were as empty and silent as they usually were. That silence was part of the problem, part of why Rikki needed to prod. It wasn't just that this was Anakin. Rikki had been alone and she didn't really like it. If she could keep Anakin from that same crippling loneliness, that was something. There was a lot she could have commented on. That Han being focused was good, it kept him at least out of some kinds of trouble. Jacen's involvement was positive. While Anakin didn't necessarily understand Jacen's whys at least he understood that it was still work that needed to be done. But all of those were conversations that could happen later, that weren't digging at him like that last little sentence was. And that was something else entirely, something that Rikki had not dealt with in a while. Or really had she ever? Han and Leia might have fought in New York, but they were always together. They had still been so young. "He's involved with SELCORE now." Rikki offered, "If he's involved with official channels they'll have to talk eventually, right?" Her voice sounded more hopeful than the situation was. She knew that his parents were still together, she knew that from Jaina having come a few years past Anakin's death. But the topic on if his parents were happy? That hadn't come up. Anakin wrapped his hands around the remaining bottle and leaned over the counter, his elbows on the edges of it. Possibly. Probably. Whether his parents talked strictly because of involvement in SELCORE might have as much to do with where they ended up and where they were and what they were doing as anything. And his father wasn't the only one who hadn't heard from Leia. He knew his mom was alive. He was certain as anything that he would have felt it if something happened to her, but he'd been unable to tell his Dad anything because he didn't have anything to tell him. He hadn't seen his mom, or heard from her at all since before Centerpoint - when she'd been there in the house to meet Rikki - and then she'd gone off to Hapes, to see Prince Isolder, and the Hapan delegates to try to bring them into the New Republic military forces. From there, presumably she was back with SELCORE because it had been what she'd been working on before. The Hapan thing had been a leave granted by the senate committee because of her history with the consortium and them wanting to use that to get Hapes on board. If she were on a diplomatic thing now surely she would have said something? No, she had to be back with SELCORE. Even so, he pushed out with the Force trying to find her. It was a quick push, and the response was a brief touch, distracted, but not unwell, and most certainly his mother. Relieved he lifted the juice to his lips and took a drink. "I guess. Maybe. I mean, SELCORE's not huge... but they've got people on different planets. Duro might be the biggest concentration right now, but it's not the only one. There's no telling where she is. That's not something I can really... tell right now." It was difficult for him to not feel that all of this was in some way his fault. That it hadn't all started with Chewie's death. And of course in a way it had, because it had all started at Sernpidal, and the Yuuzhan Vong were a huge push behind it, but it was difficult for him to push aside the more personal failing that if he'd saved Chewie, his parents would be working together. Whatever they would be doing to help the war - and they would clearly be doing something - they would be doing it together, not apart. Because it was Chewie's loss that had hurt his dad so deeply. Chewie's loss that had sent his dad into a spiral. And he knew his father had hurt. It'd been clear even without the Force, and through the Force it had been like a dozen vibroblades. Even the memory of it hurt. There had been more than one night that Anakin had wished he could have been elsewhere. It was a large apartment, but it had been difficult to not overhear the words thrown at his mom, some of which whether fair or not ought to have been directed at him instead of his mother... "You came for something?" He looked up and across at Rikki, desperate for a subject change. It was moments like this that left Rikki acutely aware that she was terrible at this whole talking thing. And this Anakin, despite them knowing each other for months, didn't trust and rely on her on the same level that her own had in the same length of time. Her own awkward fumbling might just make things worse but she did know that Anakin needed to talk, he needed something to let this out. Because even without the force she could feel guilt coming out in waves. She knew him too well, no matter the world, to not notice that. "Not really, no." Her cheeks flushed bright red for a moment as she looked down at the cider in her hands. A short breath and control regained she looked back at him with an awkward smile. "Honestly I was getting at little stir crazy at Aunt Mara's. Which usually means I'm about to do something stupid, and I figured you'd want to be along for whatever the stupid was." A lopsided grin crossed his face at her statement. How did she manage to make things seem just a little less grim and a little more manageable? And it wasn't just avoiding the conversation about his mother and his father and his worries about his family. It was actually just ... her. The way she phrased things, or right now she looked - a little nervous? And it was kind of ridiculously attractive. He gave a short laugh to go along with his grin and he stood up a little straighter. "Well, I'm honored to be included on your list of 'people you'll take along to do something stupid'. Unless it's a long list and I'm low on the list, and then I'm going to have to be a little put out." He shrugged, and reached for the bottle to take a sip of juice. It occurred to him that if they were both standing straight up and eye to eye that he was reasonably certain he would be looking her straight in the eyes. Considering she'd been taller than him when she'd first arrived this gave him more pleasure than it probably ought to have done. It might still be unlikely that she'd be interested in him at all - but at least he wasn't shorter than her any more. It seemed like it would be easier to convince her that he wasn't a kid if he was at least her height. But for the moment they had juice and he wasn't quite ready to leave the apartment. And there were other topics of conversation besides how he worried about his parents: "Did you really meet my dad before?" His smile felt a little more natural, a little less tense. And that made her own come out, her shoulders relaxing down as she felt more at ease. This was why everything just seemed so much easier with Anakin than it did with anyone else. On some level he just understood her and he always had, even if she hadn't always wanted to admit it. "No it's pretty much you and Jacen." she shrugged and smirked over at him. "And Jacen isn't as likely to actually let me get away with the stupid." The topic change was expected but she still hesitated for a moment. Leaning against the table she shrugged. If this was easier to talk about then they could talk about it. And she knew it was going to come up, might as well discuss it now. "I did." she nodded and gave him an apologetic smile. "I was in a bad way in a cantina he was in. And he decided to help me. You remember how rough my basic used to be." She frowned slightly and sighed. "I knew who he was, but how do you explain such a thing?" She took a sip of her cider and looked at him. "I mean would you have believed me?" Anakin decided he wasn't going to ask if Jacen was higher than he was on the list. Particularly not since it sounded as if there was at least some chance that he might be the highest on the list from the sheer fact that he was willing to let her get away with stupid things. Whatever that was. Was he a little reckless sometimes? Yes. And could she be a little reckless sometimes too? Probably Maybe they just suited each other. "We'll be good teammates then," he grinned at her. But he leaned back again and considered what she was saying "Bad way?" He queried, and there was a hint of worry in his blue eyes. It had been over and done with for a while, he supposed. But if his Dad had stepped in and helped her, when she had been in the Undercity, hadn't yet found Mara, and her basic was still so weak? Maybe Anakin would have to thank him some day. Or maybe not, because that would involve explaining to his Dad why he was thanking him in the first place and he wasn't certain he wanted to have that conversation. It did remind him that whatever his dad's struggles over the past few months, he was still a decent person. Even if he'd struggled to see it sometimes himself. "I mean, maybe. I don't know. I do have some sense of when someone is telling the truth even if it seems fantastical." Rikki's smile turned bright and warm when he called them teammates. She had already started to think of the Solo brothers as her team here, they were the closest she had to one really. And while Rikki did just fine on her own there was nothing like having someone you could rely on. And Anakin had been her partner in so many ways, the perfect match. She missed it and in moments where they still seemed to match up here she missed him even more. "I'd say we're already good teammates" she pointed out, gathering her wits back from falling in too deep. Granted it was not as if she could fall any more in love with Anakin Solo. It was mostly the principle of the thing at this point. Sighing gently Rikki set her cider down. She pressed her hands flat against the table to resist the urge to grab the boy across the table and kiss the worry from him. It was in the past, it had all been taken care of. But there was still a story to tell and if she was going to share it with anyone it should be Anakin. Talking meant she was distracted from kissing him. "I broke up fights for money, you know that." Rikki watched him as she fell into her account of that night. "That night was a little rougher than most. Ended up with a split face and a broken rib. Actually the rib might have been from a few nights before. Your father showed up, insisted I get bacta on it. But it's ridiculously priced, especially down there." Her face scrunched up for a moment but she continued. "He offered to take me to the hospital, I went because I knew who he was." She trailed off for a moment, straightening up and motioning vaguely. "If someone offers to help you like that in the Undercity, usually it's not really help. My boss didn't think he was going to see me again. But I had hoped maybe I could explain something, somehow... Your father got me fixed up. I fell asleep. And then woke up in your guest room here." Her cheeks flushed bright for a moment before she continued. "I couldn't stay, no one was here except Threepio. But I knew if I kept track, maybe I could find Aunt Mara. She'd come here eventually." Admitting that she had sort of stalked his house for a few weeks maybe wasn't the best plan. Rikki crossed her arms over her chest, awkwardly reaching up to tuck apiece of hair behind her ear. "I didn't know what else to do. But then I saw Mara Jade and I knew." she trailed off for a moment then gave him a weak smile. "And then I followed her home, broke into their house, and convinced her to let me speak to Master Skywalker because I knew he'd believe me before she would." Anakin liked the idea of being teammates with Rikki. He liked the idea that she considered him trustworthy enough to take with her on some adventure, and certainly he'd learned to trust her in the Undercity, and at Centerpoint, and... really, he realized he was beginning to trust her like he would one of his friends at the Academy, like he would another Jedi, or his siblings. "Maybe we are at that," he offered warmly, obviously keen on the idea. And since Jacen was away, that would leave just him. Somehow, Anakin was utterly and completely all right with that. He nodded. Rikki had shared much of that during the first time he'd met her. He'd asked questions, Jacen had as well, Jacen had ended up being a bit of a prat, and the answers hadn't felt entirely like the whole truth at the time. And, well, that was something he was now realizing that they hadn't been the entire truth because the entire time she'd been looking for Aunt Mara - not just because she might have information on the Yuuzhan Vong - but because she was related to her. As he listened Anakin found himself struck first by the incredible odds in the situation - what were the odds that she would run into Han Solo in the Undercity (never mind at the time that the had been much increased) and what were the odds that he would take her to the hospital and take her home... a girl from the Undercity that he'd never met before. He could understand why the bar tender wouldn't have expected to see her again. There were any number of people in the Undercity who would have taken advantage of her, left her robbed, or dead, or simply further broken. And as he listened, his eyes stuck on her face, his expression changed from curiosity to bewilderment to respect. "So basically, Dad led you to Aunt Mara? That's not just luck," he said with absolute conviction. "Nobody is that lucky. You were meant to find her." Anakin's reaction was not what she had been expecting. But as her eyes went wide and she simply stared at him for a moment Rikki realized that of course that would be what Anakin got from this story. As much as she tried to pretend they weren't the same person, as much as she tried to keep them separate in her head, this was Anakin. Because a little younger didn't change the basic structure of who Anakin Solo was. There was a reason she still wanted so desperately to kiss him and that reason was because he was still the man she loved he just had some growing left to do. But more and more he was becoming her Anakin. And Rikki wasn't exactly sure how she was going to handle that heartbreak of knowing he was hers and never being able to act on it. For now though Rikki just laughed. Shaking her head, she pressed her fingertips to her forehead as she tried to calm herself back down. "So you're saying the Force did it?" she asked, looking back up with a wicked grin on her face. "I get beat to hell, but at least the Force did it." Anakin had not thought about it that way at all, and while the look on her face seemed to be one that was teasing him, he still flushed and raised his hands in protest. "That's not what I meant at all," he shook his head. "I just meant, it wasn't a coincidence Dad walked in, or noticed that you needed help. I just meant -" His cheeks felt hot and he shrugged, wrapping his hands around the bottle and looking over more seriously, but still a trifle embarrassed. "I wasn't saying the Force caused you to get beat up. I'm glad he was there though and he was able to help you." Rikki wanted so badly to kiss him. His face was flushed, she had him on edge, it would have been the prefect moment to kiss him if this was another life. Even if logically Rikki knew that she couldn't there was this deep need pulling deep in her chest, the way her skin felt a little hotter than it should, how her eyes tracked just how he was moving. It was an instinct she pushed back against hard, denying those feelings to keep them hidden from the Jedi who was the constant damnable cause of them. Instead she smiled, continuing to laugh but calming down through sheer need to. "I'm glad he was too. It might have taken me a few more months if he hadn't found me." Anakin looked down then reaching for the juice to take a sip for something to do that wasn't him feeling the need to apologize for somehow in having had faith that the Force had helped her, having also implied the Force had been the cause of her getting beaten up. If the Force had been the cause of her getting beaten up, then he would have had to have had words with it anyway. He didn't like the idea that she'd been hurt - or been doing work that had put her in a position to get hurt time after time. He swallowed the juice and put the bottle down and looked over, still a little embarrassed, but there was a smile on his face. He could take good natured teasing and it very much seemed as if this was what it was. Thinking of when it was likely that she'd been found by his father, the few months - it couldn't have been much before when she'd actually found Aunt Mara. His smile faltered a little and he didn't drop his eyes from hers. "So how drunk was he that night?" Her smile fell and Rikki immediately sobered. Instead she settled on an expression Anakin would have seen before, when she focused on work. Rikki had watched Han carefully that night and she knew there was a part that had gone with him, made him stay with her, in part because she didn't want him going into the Undercity to drink himself to oblivion. But there had only been so much she could do to keep him by her side and once she had fallen asleep there had been nothing she could do to influence Han Solo. She didn't look away from his eyes though, she owed Anakin that much. "He was more functional and well spoken for how much I saw him drink. I asked him to stay with me. And he did. But after I fell asleep... Threepio told me he had left right after he dropped me off here." Anakin's face didn't change a lot, but anyone who knew him well could have seen that while the information might not be unexpected, it wasn't something he'd wanted to hear. He nodded quietly. Han Solo might not be a Jedi, but he was a Corellian and he'd had years of practice with holding his liquor. It was a sign of how much he had been drinking in the time since Chewie's death that he had lost control as frequently as he had. Some part of him couldn't help but wonder if his father had simply wanted to lose that control. If he could blame his actions on the drink then he didn't have to take responsibility for them. Neither as drunk as he would make himself out to be, nor as lacking in control - the drink had been an excuse to say things he couldn't take back. Perhaps it was an unfair assessment. Perhaps it was too fair. Either way. Rikki had been honest with him, and he could tell she was being honest and it meant everything to him. It almost seemed as if she had been trying to keep him... but she couldn't have known that? The entire family had done their best to make certain no one knew just how far down Han Solo had spiraled. "Corellian," he offered with a shrug. "It's kind of a thing. So you stayed here?" "I've heard." Rikki would have smiled if this was any other time. How often had Anakin gone on about Corellians and their famous ability to hold their drink. But this wasn't just any other time. This was Anakin's father and he had been watching him fall apart. That was when he had even been able to see him. Was that comms the first time Anakin had spoken with his father since she had come into his life? It was heartbreaking and more than anything Rikki wanted to be able to fix that. But how? There was so much, too much really. All she could really do was be here for him. "I did." Rikki nodded, a soft, weak smile in place. "I woke up terrified because I had no idea where i was. I hadn't slept in a bed in months." "Months?" Anakin looked more astounded than he realised. He knew life in the Undercity could be harsh and he knew that people there frequently struggled, and it hit him that for someone who had just newly arrived on Coruscant with no resources, and a limited understanding of basic, it would be even rougher. He pulled up his astounded face into one that was more concern and swore softly. "Kriff." She had been so close to her Aunt and how much longer had it taken her to locate Aunt Mara? "You should have asked Threepio to contact your aunt," he suggested, but even as he did he knew that it would likely not have worked. Threepio might have contacted Mara but it assumed that Mara was on Coruscant even at the time and Anakin didn't know that she had been. "I'm glad you found your Aunt," he offered finally. "I'm glad you have a bed to sleep in now." To that Rikki just gave Anakin a sad smile. What would Threepio had done? There was no reason for Mara to believe her story, whichever story it was they were currently going with. She would have just been a crazy girl that Threepio could easily send back to the Undercity. Her way might not have been perfect but it got the results that Rikki had needed. The world was entirely different than the one Anakin knew. Of course he had seen war, he was getting used to the darker side of the galaxy. But that wasn't his life, his life was one of privilege that few really saw. And even if much of it would be lost by the end of this war, if she succeeded Anakin Solo would still have a much better place in life than most. "I'm glad I found my family." she replied, lifting up her cider to take a sip. For some reason the statement, as simple as it was made his cheeks feel warm and he quickly lifted his own juice to his lips. Most of the time Anakin simply didn't think about the things available to him. He didn't need a lot of things and life at the temple on Yavin IV had of course emphasized simplicity - few attachments - and so he didn't frequently think about the other things he took for granted. That his view of Coruscant would always include the sun and the stars and the skyways. That he had access to a ship - ships really - almost any time he needed it. He would never need to sleep without a bed, unless it were willingly for a mission. He could and had stayed in dangerous places before, slept without a roof over his head, and stayed watch to keep those around him safe - but it had always been his choices that had led him to those moments. It had never been a necessity in the same way it might have been for Rikki. He hated the idea that she'd been in that position - not by choice but for survival. Like so many other refugees across the galaxy, she'd lost her original life and she had been required to fight for a new one. He wanted to be certain that he did everything he could to ensure it was a good one. "I'm glad you did too," he offered as he regained some control. Grinning as he added: "My life would be a lot more boring without you in it" |