InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Frelling goats!"

Winifred Jordan (warriors_gaze) wrote in st_margarets,
@ 2018-05-23 17:00:00

Entry tags:

character: cressida hallowfen, location: hydra dorm

Thread: Bad tempered mentor
Who: Fred and Professor Hallowfen
When: A little after this
Where: Hallowfen's office
Warning: Fred's inner thoughts might be dark

Fred had pretty much had nothing but a shitty year. She was beyond ready to leave the place, but she was also trying to make sure that Desirea didn't get suspicious. That meant she would stay until graduation and then leave to fall into the trap that was being set for her. With any luck, the other vampire had not discovered that her hold had been severed, and the trap would actually be Fred's.

The biggest problem with the things that were on Fred's mind was the fact that it caused her to have an even worse temper than usual. She lashed out against Cheyenne simply because she had pretty much always hated the cocky little bitch. It could have just as easily have been Van; of course, to Van's credit he actually would've been able to take it and come back at Fred. She hated the asshole, but she at least respected the fact that he didn't run to the authority figures or cry about it when someone doesn't like him.

Fred ran through some calming exercises on her way to meet with Hallowfen. She had respected the teacher greatly for most of her school career, but this past year the teacher had been letting more and more slide as she was distracted with the little pet of hers. Still. Fred didn't want to bring any more attention to herself right now. This meant that she just needed to deal with it. Listen to the teacher talk about how she should be nicer even though that likely wouldn't have been an issue if it had been anyone but Hallowfen's pet on the receiving end of Fred's little lash out.

It wasn't until Fred had arrived at the door that she considered the possibility that the bitch would be in there too. She closed her eyes and willed her mind to stay at ease before she knocked on the door to let the professor know she was there.

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magikos
2018-05-27 07:11 pm UTC (link)

Cressida was meant to have this talk with Fred anyway, but she had hoped it wouldn't involve a lecture too. The accusations leveled against Fred by others had made it a concern for Cressida. As a mentor she was expected to be an example to other students. It was also a mentor's job to help improve the experience there. John had come to her defense but the general feeling towad Fred as a mentor seemed to be unenthusiastic. Moreover, it appeared Fred had taken to lashing out on students in public.

She waited in the office. Cheyenne wasn't there and instead was off studying for approaching finals and working on an essay. She might've been there, but Cressida encouraged her to do something else. Van was sent to assist another teacher in a task, so he wasn't there to be part of this talk.

Truthfully, Cressida was concerned about Fred. Her tenure as mentor was filled with problems, and she seemed to doubt herself. She doubted herself so much, it appeared that she stopped trying. Van was likely assisting with the mentality, since he appeared to lash out at her any chance he got. One day soon Van was going to have to face the music at how self-destructive his attitude was, but today was not that day. And Fred received the brunt of his criticism. Not that it was unmerited, but Van tended to view himself with a piggish sense of self-grandeur. He was Hydra through and through.

When the knock on the door came, Cressida went to get it. Fred was met with an empty office, and soon enough the two were situated at Cressida's tea table. Cressida had served herself some tea, and made sure to offer Fred some blood from the school's stock before commencing.

"What are your plans for after graduation, Fred?" she started.

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warriors_gaze
2018-05-31 05:05 pm UTC (link)

Something told her that telling Hallowfen that the only plan she had at that moment was to kill some bitch vampire was likely not the answer that Hallowfen was looking for. At the beginning of the year she actually had been looking to do something, and she supposed it wasn't completely out of the question still. She had plenty of letters of acceptance since the only time her grades dropped below an A were in the recent months when she had stopped giving a shit about anything at all except for getting back to her cousin who was currently setting up the trap the both of them had come up with.

"Going back to stay with my cousin and probably just get back on track with what I was supposed to do," she finally said, knowing that was still likely not the best answer she could have chosen. It was more honest though. She was born to be a hunter, and her time at the school helped her understand better what her parents did when it came to not believing all supernatural creatures were bad.

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magikos
2018-06-02 06:34 pm UTC (link)

"And what is it that you were supposed to do?" Cressida asked. She had some tea in her hand and waited for Fred's response. She knew that Fred had a rough year. She also knew that Van had been a particular pill for her as well. Any chance he got to mock and push at her was taken from what she saw. It affected Fred more than she cared to show. If Cressida could have the ability to smack a student for insolence, Van would probably be at the top of the list. Then again, she might have held back only because it would have only been fuel for his self-perceived proletariet uprising.

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warriors_gaze
2018-06-13 10:46 pm UTC (link)

"I was supposed to be a hunter," she replied. "Not mindlessly killing people who are trying to live peacefully of course." She added the second part in case for whatever reason the teacher had thought she was just going to go out and kill everything including people she had been to school with. She didn't want to be like that or anything, but she also didn't think the idea of going to Harvard and trying to get into the FBI was a good idea anymore. She had been stupid to even think that type of thing would work.

Of course, that might have been the manipulation in her mind still screwing with her. She didn't want to let herself second guess her decisions at the moment though. She had the feeling that would probably just make it worse.

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magikos
2018-07-04 08:39 pm UTC (link)

"You were supposed to be a hunter and now you'll be a hunter still," Cressida nodded slowly, "Is that what you want to do? You don't sound all that excited about life after here. I'm not here to tell you to do something else but I would like to see you pursuing something that genuinely interests you." She smiled softly.

Fred was a tough nut to crack in some respects. She'd been at the school for a while and yet she seemed to be going back to what she did before. So what was she taking with her from here? Anything? Did she feel like the school had contributed anything to her at all?

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warriors_gaze
2018-07-12 06:12 pm UTC (link)

"I really don't know what interests me anymore," she admitted, "For a little while I considered trying to get in with the FBI or something, but I just don't think anything will work out in the long run." She looked away from the woman that she had once had a crush on. She now recognized that it was likely just a way for her mind to cope with some of her grief. She still recognized how beautiful the woman was, but no matter what there was no point in being interested in someone who would grow old and die.

"I might feel different later, and lucky me, I live forever so I never have to worry about something like time being an issue," she left the blood untouched as she sat there. She likely said too much. She had meant to get through this thing without having to deal with someone trying to probe her, but she knew now that would be practically impossible.

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magikos
2018-07-26 05:58 pm UTC (link)

"Vampirism does afford one an unusually long lifespan and a lot of time to explore one's options," Cressida said and took a sip of her tea, "Most people think that they'll know what they want to do with their lives when they finish school. The truth is that most have no idea. I don't know if you find that a sobering thought or not." Fred's answers felt very . . . undecided. She had thought about some things but then backtracked.

"What about a career in the FBI makes you think it wouldn't work out in the long run?" she asked, "I'm not here to tell you to join but it sounds like you have reasons for deciding not to and I'm curious to hear them."

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warriors_gaze
2018-08-03 06:55 pm UTC (link)

"I don't know," she replied, "It just feels pointless. Having to tip toe so much, and then having to make sure I never got so good that I got noticed." She shrugged. She was trying her best to separate the thoughts that had gotten into her head because of that bitch and the thoughts that were hers, and perhaps it was just because no one had really paid her much mind except to give her shit that year, she hadn't really been able to question the FBI thing like she likely should have. It meant that her defense for why it was pointless was starting to fall apart.

She didn't like admitting her short comings though, so she wasn't sure she wanted Hallowfen to know that she was feeling a bit more indecisive now.

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magikos
2018-08-06 04:03 pm UTC (link)

"Should you decide to look into it, we've had a number of graduates join," Cressida said and leveled a look upon Fred, "I know this school year hasn't been easy on you. And I want to say I'm sorry for not stepping in to set things straight before." There wasn't much she could do now but Cressida did feel bad. From what she heard, Van was the most vocal critic of Fred, baiting her constantly. Sasha apparently had a number of qualms with her too. Hydra students had an elephant's memory and forgiveness was seldom awarded.

"And I'm not going to tell you that you have to do something once you graduate. Like you said, you have a lot of time ahead of you. I just . . . " she breathed in and then out slowly, "I don't want to see you go back to what you already know how to do and settle." Settling was something that Cressida couldn't abide. Some people called her position there as settling but it wasn't. She'd seen her own growth alongside her students.

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warriors_gaze
2018-08-07 12:36 am UTC (link)

Fred considered for a moment the words from her head of house. Of course, it was entirely possible she wouldn't live after the week she returned to her cousin. She supposed after that point, perhaps it would be better to just let that all die. With all of her family now essentially dead or turned, there really was no more keeping the family business going in the same way. Still. She didn't even know how much point there was in doing anything like that.

"What kind of graduates?" she asked, figuring that most likely she would learn that there were a number of weres and witches involved which would pretty much cement the idea that it wasn't for her.

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magikos
2018-08-07 09:27 pm UTC (link)

"Within the FBI it really depends. Some prefer the so-called pencil pushing jobs, and they tend to be humans with psychic abilities of one sort or another. Field agents rant from vampires to fairies. So it really depends on what you want to do in the bureau as opposed to what's there.," Cressida explained, "I know weres ten to take on positions in the DEA or Marshals because it puts their tracking skills to use. FBI profilers are good at reading people, and they are usually vampires."

She paused, "But again, this is just what I know. Some make a career of it and others use it as a way to pass time before they decide to do something else. But they're taking a step forward toward soemthing instead of settling. You don't want to hear me say it, but I'm going to. If you go back to what you were doing before, you're settling. I don't know why and maybe you will just use it as interim but any desire for your future to be something worth looking forward to involves you working to make it that way.

"Otherwise the future will always be bleak and a giant question you'll never find an answer to."

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