Bad ideas and echoing voices
Who: Fred and Open Where: Near woods When: After classes Warnings: Dark thoughts
She regretted accepting the mentor position a while back. Now she was sort of just waiting for Hallowfen to get on to her for shit she couldn't control. The dorm had changed a lot since she had first come to the school. At that time she had no allegiance to the dorm, yet because of the way that the others had been loners until someone messed with any one of them she had come to truly like her dorm. This year she wanted to burn the goddamn thing to the ground with everyone in it. On top of that, she had been pushing most everyone else away. Sure she would get together with Alicia for a drink and a fuck, but aside from that she just wasn't close with anyone. What was the point anyways? She would be gone soon enough. Maybe she should just go now. Who the hell cares what she did after school?
As usual, she was not within her house choosing instead to find peace and quiet in the woods behind the dorm in order to not deal with the rest of the world. She had begun the year with an attempt to be a good person. She accepted the offer of mentor, she had helped a number of the Standards get settled, she had even done her best to help some of those who felt Sorin's loss hardest. None of that mattered though, and now she just didn't even know why she even bothered to try and help anyone. She had been raised to hunt these monsters, so why was she bothering to try? It was because of monsters like them, like her, that her parents were dead. It was because of creatures like Van who don't care about anyone but themselves that caused her to become a vampire and help kill her own parents.
The songs in her notebook were just as dark as her thoughts were. It didn't really matter. She would never do anything with her music anymore anyways. She couldn't really do anything with it. Hiding in the shadows is how you live as an immortal blood sucker. She could get away with becoming a private investigator or even an FBI agent if she really wanted to, but attempting to make a life for herself with her music would never happen now.
Maybe she should stop being a fucking coward and kill herself. That would solve all of her problems. The thought hadn't used to be in her mind, but it was one that was growing stronger the angrier she got. Like a voice that kept echoing in her mind anytime she got upset or depressed. She supposed it would do the trick. Not like there was anyone who would really miss her. Her uncle wouldn't talk to her anymore after what happened while she was under her sire's influence. He still put money in her bank account, but that would probably stop June 1st. Her cousins seemed conflicted, but in the end none of them would say much to her either.
She was alone, so why not just end it all? Save everyone some trouble? Why not? the voice echoed as it always did.