Fen (confuzzledfen) wrote in st_margarets, @ 2017-11-09 14:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: fen kingston, location: school grounds |
Who: Fen & Open
When: Thursday after classes
Where: Grounds
It was just a Thursday but Fen was really happy that day, for some reason, and decided everyone else needed to be happy too. After classes she went to her room and grabbed all the completed crowns she'd been working on- her room had morphed from the sparsely decorated minimalist to a mess of arts and crafts. An entire wall was dedicated to projects she wanted to learn how to do and her desk and floor was a mess of bits and supplies to make a variety of things- as well as a bunch of completed projects. So, with her arm loaded up with fake flowered crowns and headed out.
She really didn't have any targets in mind, but anyone who said hi to her, or anyone she knew that she passed, was offered a crown- boy or girl. She'd put one on herself and was trying her best to lift the spirits of anyone who looked sad. It helped to be happy. So much in her life had changed in less than a year that sometimes she felt lost. As her arm emptied she realized that her distraction had also completed. Sure, she could to back to her room and make more if she had enough supplies. She could find some of her friends, but it felt hard to talk to them sometimes. Sure, they knew what it was like to be different but she always felt it hard to relate to a lot of the things they talked about, not having had the typical childhood... or really any childhood as a human.
Fen found a quiet spot and sat down. It wasn't completely out of the way but it wasn't in a high traffic area either. She played happy a lot, she was happy a lot. But she was also annoyed at how hard some things were to understand. She still struggled with sarcasm and guys (in general). She'd talk with her friends about things then start to feel left out when the topic changed to something she didn't know, but always pretended to still be having fun. All the while she wondered it it had really been worth it. She had seemed to certain that being human was what she wanted, but that was before she saw how daunting the future was. School would end and she'd be expected to go into the world and do something, but what? How? Sure, that's what she was supposed to learn but at times it seemed an impossible task. And all the while she'd loose friends as they moved on like Kana, Sara and Jae. Sure they were only a phone call away but she felt completely out of the loop now... not that she was ever in a loop to begin with.
Frustrated at the futility of it all she took the flowered circlet from her head and threw it with a loud, gruff noise. And immediately regretted it as it hit someone passing by she wasn't even paying attention to. Her face grimaced, "I'm so sorry!"