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graceful_doe ([info]graceful_doe) wrote in [info]st_margarets,
@ 2016-10-22 22:07:00

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Entry tags:character: clara james, character: rafe farrowe, location: school grounds

Who: Clara and Rafe Farrowe
When: Friday afternoon, after class, October 21st.
Where: On campus, outside.



Clara had been in touch with her parents, especially her mother, as often as could since she started at St. Margaret's. Lately, their e-mails and texts had been centred on the striking resemblance between Mr. Farrowe and a sketch of a family ancestor that her mom kept up in their home. Mom had told her that she was imagining things and that there couldn't possibly be a connection between their family and the supernatural world, other than Clara herself. After all, the existence of the supernatural had all been unknown to them before Clara had been bitten. Clara had been insistent, pleading with her mother to snap a photo of the portrait and send it to her.

Now that Clara had the picture on her phone, she was trying to discreetly learn more about Mr. Farrowe. Today - she was watching him to see how he spent his days. The problem was that deer were primarily herbivores and weren't great at stalking. They were more prone to flee from a predator than hunt. It must have carried over to her human life, because she either sucked at following people or was feeling paranoid. Every few seconds, she'd feel certain that he was onto her and was tempted to stop and go back to Landon house. Instead, she would occasionally check the picture on her phone, pretending to be texting and keeping herself from getting too close. There was no need to risk almost walking into him again.

When he did turn his head, it could have been for any number of reasons. Her mind jumped to it being because of her. She took an instant step back and offered a small wave and a polite "Hi", as she mentally debated between running and staying put.


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[info]graceful_doe
2016-11-24 05:50 pm UTC (link)
Clara grinned, relieved that she hadn't offended him with her view of pirates. "That's too bad. A colourful pet would be fun to have around while you were out at sea, especially if you could have taught him to say Arrrr." She joked.

"Oh, good." At least he could still enjoy the day in the shade. She tucked the rest of that information away in her mind. She hadn't encountered any threats from the vampire students on campus, but just in case, it was good to know running out into the sun could make for a quick escape from them. She assumed the students were younger vampires.

"By we all, do you mean everyone or every supernatural person?" Clara asked curiously. She could see the case for either. The few people she'd met at the school seemed to have a connection to nature. Then again, anyone could find link somewhere in the outdoors in her experience. "I've always loved nature, even before all of this."

Homesickness tended to keep Clara from seeing herself in a good place, but he did have a point. "There really is. Forests are gorgeous. I could get lost in them forever." She chuckled. "You know, if I didn't have classes and stuff."

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[info]redensign
2016-11-28 10:04 pm UTC (link)
Rafe clarified, "I mean everyone. Each of us find a home in nature." He enjoyed the sea before he became a vampire, though he liked land as well. Land where his wife and child were, and now here he was, talking with a descendant of his so calmly. It had been one of the most relaxed conversations on Rafe's part. Most students understood him as a teacher and also leader, but not really a father-figure. Not that he thought that Clara thought him a father, but it had been the most causal he'd spoken to a student. Most of his other conversations came as placating his own students' fears or concerns or trying to coerce them into doing their part.

"The winter holidays aren't too far from now," Rafe said, "You'll find your way into the woods, and on full moons, you'll have the entire night to explore what we have here until you head home." There was always time to escape, and now Clara would have three designated nights a month to allow herself to explore the woods, although it would be as a doe and not a human. But the experience would be interesting for her.

"How have you enjoyed your first full moon here?" he asked, "I haven't heard anything about any incidents, so it appears you were kept from harm." Most weres were predatory, after all.

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[info]graceful_doe
2016-11-30 08:29 pm UTC (link)
"I think so too." Clara was an outdoor type and there hadn't been anyone she'd known back home who hadn't preferred some kind of nature, over the indoors. Of course, it may have been the circles she ran in. Her parents and friends shared her interests, and since she'd moved to the school, most of the other students she'd met seemed to like nature too.

"I'm really looking forward to Christmas." Clara would definitely return home, eat plenty of her dad's classic dinner, decorate the tree with her mom and enjoy all of the other traditions of her family. She could picture all of it clearly in her mind. The full moons, on the other hand, still felt like something to be feared. Even the chance to explore nature didn't change her mind on that. "Are you looking forward to it too?"

"Well, at least this time I knew what was happening. That made it better than my first full moon." Clara answered hesitatingly. She didn't want to come across as too much of a complainer. The truth was she still found it difficult to cope with losing control on the full moons and changing into a literal animal. And there was the risk of natural predators as well as other weres finding her while she was in deer form.

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[info]redensign
2016-12-03 12:31 pm UTC (link)
"I am," Rafe admitted, "It's a pleasant time of year, filled with more cheer than usual." There was also a lot of negativity that accompanied the holidays, but Rafe knew that the world was never really settled in happiness. While some enjoyed massive Christmas feasts, others were sharing a can of lukewarm canned pasta. Even though it would be another holiday without his wife and without family, he would survive. He'd had a number of Christmases on his own to appreciate the ones with others all the more.

She went to talk about the shift and her experience with it. Fatherly instinct worried about her. A weredeer wasn't quite as common as a werewolf, and he knew it was a risk for her. But he also trusted Micah to look after her. Nobody argued with the bear. Kodiaks were large enough as it was, but a werebear was even larger.

"The first, I hear, is always the most frightening. Especially if you have no idea what is happening," he said and then reached out, initiating contact by placing a hand on her shoulder, "It will get easier, Clara, I promise. Mr. Kaden is a good teacher and he'll protect you. And you're only here for a few years. Once you have your abilities under control, you'll move on with your life with greater confidence."

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[info]graceful_doe
2016-12-04 10:11 pm UTC (link)
"It really is." Clara smiled, her eye lighting up at the thought of it. She had never needed fancy or expensive gifts, just friends, family and that feeling of joy that came with the holidays. "I think I'll appreciate it more this year." She experienced enough other emotions while dealing with her change; she was ready for that happy Christmas spirit.

Clara looked down at the ground, studying a few fallen leaves for a moment. "It was the worst. It was frightening for my parents too. Afterwards, I thought Mom would pass out." She felt such guilt, blaming herself for being bit in the first place and putting them through all of this. She missed her safe bubble of not knowing anything about the supernatural.

Clara looked up at him again slowly. It was hard to imagine having confidence at the school, let alone out in the real world. Even finding a place to live would be difficult. She'd have a to find a place where it wouldn't seem strange to see a deer on a full moon night, but also where hunting that deer wouldn't be permitted. "I want to believe that. But I'll never really have my abilities under control, not on full moons."

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[info]redensign
2016-12-06 11:01 am UTC (link)
Rafe smiled softly, "You can learn to resist the change under a full moon. Many don't and simply find places because they know that the animal they become is part of who they are and needs to stretch its legs. Sort of like a vampire has to accept it must survive off blood." It was the latest theme among the fanglings. Valentin for one had trouble accepting his new predatory nature and his reliance on blood outside of school-distributed blood bags. Even Kristen had some difficulty with it.

"Control is part of it, but you'll need to find harmony with the animal as well," he said. Typically he might have referred to the animal as a "beast" but Clara turned into a deer. There wasn't a lot that was beastly about a deer. He removed his hand and looked at her directly in the eyes.

"The deer is part of who you are now," he said, "Don't be afraid of it. Fear is a good tool to divide.' Some tried to implement it for unity but rarely was fear all that good about doing that.

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[info]graceful_doe
2016-12-06 10:36 pm UTC (link)
"I can?" Clara found a glimmer of hope that she could cling to in his words. Even if many didn't learn to control it, that meant that a few did. She could be a part of that few. She'd been in the top of her class at school and in ballet in the past. She could approach this with the same hard work and it could pay off.

Clara looked back at him. "Do you accept the blood thing as a part of you? Were you ever scared of it?" If her mother were around, she'd be telling her not to get ask such personal questions, especially with a teacher. It was hard to resist her own curiosity though. As soon as a question popped into her mind, she felt she simply had to ask it.

"It's hard with the deer. I think fear's a part of it. The deer is prey. It wants to run away from scary stuff, the unknown." She shook her head. "But I can't run away from being a were." At least not yet. That hope was still in her mind.

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[info]redensign
2016-12-09 09:41 pm UTC (link)
"Yes, but it doesn't mean you should resist it all the time," Rafe said as a way of warning. Some students, as he thought of Valentin, wanted to completely reject everything they were and pretend that their lives hadn't changed. They had, but it wasn't the end of the world. Valentin had a year and a half left to get his head on straight before he departed. Hopefully Clara wouldn't be quite as stubborn.

The blood questions though. Rafe was quiet for a moment, "It took getting used to, but once has to learn that one cannot go back to the way things were once the change happens. There's no cure for vampirism as there is no cure for the were virus. Fear is always there, and it's natural to be afraid. Deer may be alert, but they are not always afraid." Rafe placed his hands back in his lap.

"The thing about being a were is that even if the animal is part of you, you both have a great deal to learn about each other," he offered.

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[info]graceful_doe
2016-12-10 10:17 am UTC (link)
Clara forced herself not to ask the first question that sprung into her mind - why not? If she could keep the deer side of herself under control, that still felt like the best option. It seemed almost like learning to control a bad side to her personality.

"There's no cure yet." She murmured quietly. "Isn't anyone working on one, somewhere?" They had schools for the supernatural, it seemed as if there should be medical facilities and research too. She thought there'd have to be, it would be hard to hide certain supernatural traits from a regular doctor. "I guess maybe the fear comes from me more than the deer."

"I don't know what deer could learn from me." She didn't always admit it to herself, but she knew she had gained some things from the deer like an awareness of her surroundings. She didn't let herself get lost in her own thoughts as often as she did before the change.

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[info]redensign
2016-12-12 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Rafe nodded, "You won't always be afraid, Clara. And look at the other weres some time. Some are born that way and others made. They haven't resigned that there may not be a cure, but they won't let their hope for a cure stop them from learning to live with what they have." Other weres were predators though, but he knew that Clara was as any new were, worried about what happened now and how things could go back to normal.

"I think you may find out in time what the deer can learn from you and what you can learn from it," he offered, "Until then, just get your bearings. Even though this is a school for the supernaturally gifted, it is a school with your cohorts. Students from all walks of life with all sorts of personalities. It is normal and you can hold onto that."

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[info]graceful_doe
2016-12-18 07:33 am UTC (link)
"Do you think they were scared once, too?" Clara asked. The other students seemed so much more confident, and had even offered her encouragement. It did help to know that they found ways to live with it and that some of them had been born human like her. At the same time, it was a little intimidating. She wasn't sure if she could measure up to them.

"Yeah, that's true." The idea of normalcy seemed very far away to Clara, but he did have a point. In some ways, it was a typical high school, which could bring its own set of problems. So far, she had yet to encounter any real bullies though. If anything, her peers had been kind to her. Maybe it wasn't so bad.

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[info]redensign
2016-12-20 01:44 pm UTC (link)
Rafe nodded, "I think they were, yes. In fact, I know. It's strange for those who are experiencing it new, and not all weres have the benefit of a family or a pack. Some are very solitary creatures and are expected to leave on their own earlier." Others were victims of turf wars and left orphans. Not every born-were had the comfort of growing up in a family environment. They were alone and confused, and some more animal than human.

"Don't try to rush it. Go with the motions. You'll figure everything out piece by piece. You just have to remind yourself that you can pull through it. And there are people to help you until you're ready to stand on your own."

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[info]graceful_doe
2016-12-23 11:09 pm UTC (link)
Clara had enough tact not to ask which students had to go through this alone. "That must be so hard for them. I can't imagine going through this without my parents and their support." Even though they were far away, they did keep in touch. She paused for a moment. The mention of family had her thinking back to why she had chosen to 'stalk' Mr. Farrowe that day. "Do you have family in your life?"

"I'm trying. It's frustrating at times. It's like I'm back in kindergarten or something, learning the basics all over again." Clara didn't see herself as a genius, but she was used to being near the top of her class back home and now she saw herself as being as the least experienced were student. She felt as if she knew nothing when compared to her peers.

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[info]redensign
2016-12-27 02:03 am UTC (link)
"I did," Rafe asked, completely unaware of Clara's motives, "A long time ago. They thought me dead and they were better for it. They moved on and lived happy and fully lives. That's all I could ask." It was the best he could ask for. By the time he had found his way back home, they'd all moved on and aged too. His son was no longer the little boy but a man, and his daughter not a babe but a woman. That had been one of the most difficult points of his life as a vampire. Learning to let go.

He chuckled, "You'll get the hang of it, and with a much quicker learning curve. It'll be easier here than if you were on your own. Even though you're in Ladon house, my door is always open if you wish to talk, Clara. Though I'm sure Mr. Kaden will be able to take care of your questions about weres."

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[info]graceful_doe
2017-01-01 07:19 pm UTC (link)
Clara wondered about that. She had her moments when she thought her parents were better off without her around, since she became a were. But she couldn't imagine thinking they'd be better if they thought she was dead. They would miss her greatly and she would miss them just as much. "That must be hard on you. There's no long lost cousin twelve times removed or something for you to keep in touch with?" She was careful, hoping she hadn't said anything that would alert him to her suspicions. "That must get lonely too."

"Thank you." Clara said. It was good to know she could come to him when she had questions, though they might not be the ones he'd expect. She still couldn't get the image of that portrait out of her mind.

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[info]redensign
2017-01-03 08:15 pm UTC (link)
"You bear it with time," Rafe said, "And you're very welcome." He couldn't help but feel happy then. Being able to talk with someone who was rather far down his family line but still his kin. His own flesh and blood in a way. Actually, she was. And he was happy she felt she could speak and share these things with him. It brought out more fatherly qualities he never really got to explore much in his life. And now he could. Though Clara had no idea.

OOC: wrap with this or your next one?

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