Thérèse Edouard (master_linguist) wrote in st_margarets, @ 2016-05-03 13:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: dallas gurule, character: thérèse edouard |
Who: Thérèse and Dallas
Where: Their home
When: About a week ago
Warning: Sad fairies are sad
Thérèse had been upset for many reasons lately. Most of her time had been spent at the school only going home to sleep and tend to her garden. She knew it wasn't the best way to manage a problem in a relationship, but she just wasn't sure how to handle the feelings she had been experiencing lately. She had talked herself into believing that he spoke the truth when he said that she was different than the other fairies, but after what he said it all felt like they were just words meant to manipulate her. She had only loved someone this much once before, and he left her without a word. With the things he said, the way he said them, it just made it hard to believe that Dallas wouldn't do the same thing.
She wore an airy pale green dress as she moved around her garden tending to her plants. The honeysuckle brought a pleasant aroma to her nose as she worked. Her mind always felt calmer while she worked on one of her passions such as gardening and the theater. It helped her in her attempt to figure things out.
When she heard the footsteps approaching she knew what was going to happen. There was no getting around it anymore. The two would have to talk, and they would have to figure out what would happen from here on. She wasn't even sure what she would say. She wasn't even sure what she truly wanted.
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Dallas knew that Therese had been upset with him. She'd been distant and at the time he thought it was best to give her space, give her time. However, he was now realizing that space and time wasn't helping anything. If anything it was making things worse. They needed to talk it out. He grimaced at that thought, Dallas wasn't one who liked to talk, well no, that was a lie. He didn't like serious talks, funny and flirtatious things he adored. But serious relationship talks was something he ran from. Therese was his first relationship where he'd have one of these talks. His past relationships didn't mean anything so they'd never get to this point or if they did he'd end it, no woman was gonna tie him down. But that was then and this was now, things were different, he was different, Therese was everything to him, worth everything, he could never leave her, if he lost her...he'd be destroyed. She was it for him, his one and only the only one he'd do the thing he hates. Have a serious relationship talk.
After the April Fools craziness, he shuddered as he remembered. Him being in love with Andrei...ugh. Now he was comfortable enough in his sexuality to acknowledge that Andrei wasn't a bad looking guy and probably sent tons of girls and boys hearts a flutter, but just no on so many levels. If you took out the whole teacher/student inappropriateness of it all Dallas was straight, hetero, so hetero it was insane. He liked women. He liked how they smelled, the curves of their body, the light melodious voices and laughter, also how soft they were to kiss. Yeah, he liked women, especially fairy women, and one fairy woman in particular. And there she was.
Dallas let him self gaze upon his wife tending her garden for a few moments. Was there anything she could do that wasn't graceful, that didn't look like an art form in itself, anything that didn't make her look beautiful and wonder why she was wasting her time of someone as unworthy as him. He took a deep breath and stuck his hands in his pockets to dissuade himself from pulling her into his arms. He had a feeling that wouldn't go over too well.
"Therese," her let out a breath, "will you please talk to me. I hate this, I hate us being like this."
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She continued to do a bit of work on the plant she was currently tending to despite Dallas' approach. She wasn't sure what kind of conversation was about to occur, and therefore she wished to remain in as calm a state as she could manage for as long as possible. She appreciated Dallas' restraint from trying to grab her into a kiss because at the moment that truly would have been unappreciated. Despite the fact that she had been sporting a foul mood for almost two months, she was busy at the moment with a few tools that could have made for a number of accidents that despite her being upset with him she would never want to happen.
When he spoke she let out a short sigh. She had known that eventually he would work up the nerve to talk to her. She had tried to offer him a chance subtly before she left for France, but he didn't seem to realize that was what she was doing. The fact that there needed to be such a blunt smack to get him to realize something was the only thing that would allow her to hear him out at the moment. It showed that he likely didn't have the ability to subtly imply things; of course, that was also one of the reasons she took the statement so harshly. Since he didn't have the ability to be subtle it meant that the statement was the truth.
She could go back and forth in her head all day on this subject, but she made a sound to let him know that she was listening since she did not like feeling so upset with someone she had loved so much not long ago. There really was no reason why she couldn't find that love again.
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This was going to be really hard, if she was just going to offer him a little noise to let him know that she was listening. He sighed and put his hands on his hips to steel his resolve and his eyes were focusing on her feel at the moment,
"I know that I said a few things I shouldn't have when we were discussing the Ambriel Davian situation." Dallas paused as he raised his eyes to meet hers, "You just have to understand Therese, Davian's situation is so similar to mine that when I heard what he was planning all those feelings and memories that I have tried and thought I had put behind me came back. I mean I almost felt like I was going to get alerted that Oberoe was on his way here that he was back somehow and he was going to come her and slaughter everyone who was in his way. Then he would slaughter those dearest to me before my eyes. Just like he did in that night of the living nightmares." He took in a shaky breath, "You remember that right, you remember those nights where I would wake up screaming then cling to you just to make sure that you were real and there. All of that came back tenfold." He took another deep breath, "I just reacted and spoke without thinking because I'm a man and I'm impulsive and that is one of the many flaws I have that you were somehow able to look past and agree to marry me."
Dallas dared to take a step closer to her, "I...I've wanted to give you space because I thought that was what you wanted. You and I will never agree on the Ambriel and Davian thing and we will never be able to change the other's mind and that is just a fact. It's just a situation we cannot discuss with each other. But I don't think that's the main issue," he dared another step closer, "I think that the worst thing I said was that if my father came back I'd leave you and run again. I've don't a lot of thinking during this time and ran the scenario through my head a dozen time and...I was wrong...I was lying. I wouldn't be able to leave you....I couldn't....I would sooner rip out my own heart and offer it to my father on a silver platter than do that. I would stay and he would come. He would come and I would stand against him I would fight him and all those followers he had. I would fight with everything inside of me with every breath of my body and beat of my heart. I would do that to protect you, to protect we have built. I would face him and die before I'd let him even gaze upon you. And that is because I love you Therese, with my whole heart, with my whole mortal life."
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She looked over to him in order to meet his eyes as he spoke. Sure she was upset with him, but she would at least hear him out. She continued her work, waving her hands over a few places that seemed as though they needed some assistance getting nutrients. "I understand 'zat we will not be able to agree on 'zeir situation," she informed him, "But you never seem to speak of 'ze life you 'ad as a good life; therefore why would you wish that on someone else? Especially someone like Davian." She had a soft spot for the young demon, and she wanted to make sure that he had a good life, "No matter what 'appens 'ze two of them are going to 'ave troubles when they leave, but 'ze one thing they should not 'ave trouble with is staying together due to 'zeir love."
"But in the end it is not our decision to make," she said with a tone of finality. "As for what you said," she sighed, "I 'ave only loved one other man in my life, and 'e left me without a word." She hated having that memory, but it was a part of her life, "And I know 'zat you 'ave left many others in the past. You say 'zat you love me, but 'ow am I to know that you did not say similar things to them?" Perhaps she was being too harsh with him bringing up his past relationships, but if visiting her forest in France reminded her of anything it reminded her that he had left many fairy women in the past, and some of them were still bitter about it. "'ze fact that it even crossed your mind causes me to worry that you may be lying to yourself."
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"Therese," Dallas let out a slightly frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair causing his horns to come into view for a moment, "I'm not wishing that on them I just see their situation and I understand Davian's position all too well. I was happy for a bit. I was with my mother, it was me and her against the world for ten years. We were find living our lives away from my father and the commune. But demons don't forget. They are petty and shallow and vain and never ever forgive. He may have gotten a new wife but he never forgot about me....and that is why he came after us. And because of me my mother is gone," he took a breath and he reached out to take her hand and ran his thumb over her engagement ring, the ring that held the stone his mother wore on her ring, "I had been happy Therese, and I lost the most important person to me in the world at that time in my life. I know it's not our decision to make and I'm not going to force my opinion on them but I can't just turn around and support their decision when I think it's a...reckless one....one that they haven't really thought through. I just fear that with Davian's situation....one of them may end up that same way. They may end up as fucked as I am...running...not making attachments. I think I'm made progress but...that desire to run is still there, I need things to ground me....make me want to stay." He raised his eyes to meet her, "Like you...you ground me...you are my reason to stay. You...the kids...the live we've built."
He chuckled, "Hell, would I have bought a house if I intended to leave you. I bought us a house with a lot of extra rooms that I want to fill up with our beautiful half demon fairy babies." When she once again mentioned the other fairies he'd been with. How was he supposed to know all fairies seemed to have some sort of network. "Therese....I was a kid....I was a sad and lonely kid. I didn't love them, I didn't let myself love anyone because of what happened to my mother. I know girls sometimes are more into the romantic aspect but for me it was just a release, a way to forget for a bit. I now know what I did was wrong and I regret it. But back then I didn't care....I just ate, trained, fucked and slept. I was looking out for me. I was a sad, lonely and selfish little fuck. I was a kid Therese, yeah I might have seemed grown up but demons...we age slow. Immortality doesn't always mean that you have extra years of maturity."
"Therese....I'm sorry that I said it but I just said it because I would want to protect you, shield you from anything my father would dish out. I wouldn't lose you the way I lost my mother," he paused, "Have you....have you ever had someone you care for die...and I mean die suddenly, no warning, not because of age or disease. Someone young and vibrant die right in front of you, die in you arms. It is the worst thing every and when you find someone who makes you feel like that again, you do everything in your power to make sure it never would happen again."
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"It's 'zat kind of thinking 'zat 'as gotten me afraid," she replied not meeting his eyes at the moment. Instead she just stared at his hands which were now holding hers. "I am not sure 'zat I should 'ave this sort of feeling for someone I love." She felt horrible even saying those words out loud, but it was the truth. Even a couple of years ago she had this same fear. Was it actually right for her to continue having these fears? It would eventually cause her to distance herself from him just like it had done the past few months. "I do know 'zat I love you," she continued, "But am not sure 'zat I can ever rid myself of these fears if I feel the only reason you are staying is because you are not being chased currently."
She turned away and walked a few steps letting her hands fall from his grasp. "I may not 'ave ever seen someone I love die before me, but I know what it feels like to be 'ze one that is left without an explanation," she informed him, "And even with an explanation like what you say I can't agree with it."
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"What are you trying to say?" Dallas asked though he had the feeling he knew already. One of the hardest parts of having feelings with a fairy was the fact that they were sort of the all or nothing type; therefore, if she was having doubts it was not good. His heart was sinking lower as he watched her walk away from him. He couldn't bear to hear the words spoken, but he knew too that it was his own fault that it was happening. He had been the idiot who had told her he would've left her. He had been the idiot who constantly let his own fears force him to act certain ways. He wished there was a way he could fully gain her trust, but having lost it so many times in such a short while he knew that she was just going to be hardening herself up.
"Please Thérèse," he pleaded with her, "I promise you I would never leave you."
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She wished she could hear those words and believe them, but she simply couldn't anymore. She had been hurt by someone like him before, and he had hurt other fairies in the past. Caused them to fall in love with him and then he would vanish the moment something might have happened. Then he had said that he would do that to her if it happened again. That was not true love. True love would be the willingness to fight to stay together. He didn't know what true love was, and it was obvious that she didn't actually have that love for him if she could feel this way.
"I love you," she told him, "But I don't think we are meant to be."
Her eyes fell, and tears had begun falling. "I hope that one day you do find love again," she sobbed softly, "I 'ope you find the truest love, and 'zat they return your love unconditionally." Her clothes fell to the ground as she shrunk to her true fairy size and flew away. Leaving the second man that she had ever loved behind. She felt like a horrible person. She simply couldn't rid herself of the thought that he may have been lying to her about wanting to stay. The hundreds of faries who he had made feel special in the past however could not be fully forgotten. Why should she think that she was any different after being told he would do the same thing to her?