Jae will eat your heart out (stealyourheart) wrote in st_margarets, @ 2015-02-13 17:41:00 |
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Jae knew that Professor Hallowfen said she spoke to her mother. Her mother then said she wanted to speak with Jae and to have her daughter call when she was ready to talk. So far it didn't sound like Jae's mother was going to pull her out, but Jae was still scared what her mother might say. Maybe she was going to leave and her mother demanded that she tell her first. For as loving of a relationship that Jae had with her mother, Hyuna Song was not to be trifled with or disobeyed. Jae regarded her mother with more respect than most children had for their parents and so whatever her mother said, Jae would go with. It'd been almost a week since Jae got out of the dungeon and three days since Professor Hallowfen told Jae that her mother wished to speak with her. So that meant she had three days to agonize quietly over it. Part of her wanted Kana to be there for it, but Jae didn't want to inconvenience her. She thought of asking Davian to be there too, but she'd already thrown so much onto Davian as it was. With her cell phone in her hand, she scrolled to find her mother's name and her thumb lingered over the screen, but had yet to press down to start the call. Seated on her bed, Jae told herself to just call. Her mother knew what happened, so it wasn't like Jae had to explain everything. Taking in a breath, she moved to press onto the screen but halted herself before she did. Unfortunately, it was close enough the phone read it as an action and it began dialing. There was a brief moment of panic and Jae was going to hang out, but then her mother answered. She must have been expecting her phone call. "Jae?" her mother's voice sounded distant and Jae didn't bring the phone to her hear yet. "Jae," her mother repeated her name, now without the question. She sounded so far away. She was so far away. A half a world away from where Jae currently lived. There was another long pause before Jae lifted the phone to press against her ear saying softly in Korean, "I am sorry, mother." There was another stretch of time and her mother's voice said, "I know you are." Jae felt a strange warmth on her cheek and her vision became blurred. It took her a moment to realize she was crying. "Don't cry, Jae," her mother chided with love, but also a sternness to it. Jae swallowed some air down and controlled herself, wiping the tears from her cheeks hurriedly. As if her mother were right there. "Your teacher told me what happened," her mother said, stating what Jae already knew, "She also insisted that you stay at the school. She said it would be good for you, but Jae . . . I don't know." "Mom," Jae's voice came out as a trembling plea, "Please don't make me go back. I am learning here, I just—" "Jae," came her mother's voice through the phone, "Your teacher said she doesn't think that your problem is just the temptation. She thinks it is something more. Is this true?" "I don't know," Jae said truthfully because she didn't. She thought about it a lot the last few days but she couldn't figure out what it was. Why she had made some progress and then relapsed so badly. It wasn't even that she'd hungered for Leon's flesh, but she'd been so afraid. She hadn't been that scared, that angry since Eunji. "Maybe what I thought was a problem was really just a symptom," her mother sighed with resignation, more talking to herself than to Jae. Sitting quietly, Jae waited for her mother to say something else. The times that Jae was in trouble, she knew not to speak out of turn or without her mother prompting her. Family dynamics were interesting in other parts of the world, and Jae always had a deep respect for those older than her because of this. The one person she revered the most, however, was her own mother, so with her she was especially submissive. Another long stretch of silence came and Jae grew tenser with each passing moment. What was it going to be? Jae didn't know what would happen now. She'd already taken the bold move in protesting leaving, so would she do it again? It was then that Jae really did wish she had Kana or Davian there. But it was too late to ask them over and now she had to wait until her mother was ready to give her verdict. "Do you think the school will help you?" her mother asked and Jae paused, unsure of how to answer. Her mother sometimes asked how she felt or how she was doing, and she would often take into consideration Jae's own thoughts, but Jae always felt like she was being humored. Her mother was old, very old. Older than her teachers. Probably not older than Ms. Menides though. There was an agelessness to the headmistress that Jae saw in the woman's eyes. "I think," Jae said uneasily and then with a little more confidence, "I think it will. I have friends here, mom. I have friends who know what I am and they don't care. They like me." "It needs to be more than your friends, Jae," her mother returned and Jae's next words were a little more insistent, "They are what I need, mom. My teachers know me and they can see things that maybe you can't!" "Jae," her mother's voice sounded strict then and Jae held back what she wanted to say in her continued plea. Jae realized that she implied her mother might not know her, but Jae felt she had a point though. Her mother knew her too well and would have a hard time deciphering or rooting out what the problem may be. Her friends? Her teachers? Maybe they could give some insight that her mother could now. Her mother could see when something was wrong, but perhaps they could prescribe it. "I'm sorry," Jae whispered. "You can stay," Hyuna said, "But Jae, if you do not start making improvements in the next year, you will come home. Are we clear?" "Yes," Jae began nodding and there was a sense of excitement in her. Despite the stress of the moment, she had the comfort of knowing that she could stay. She would have a second chance. Her mother would give her another school year to learn and hopefully grow. She hoped, oh did Jae hope that this would somehow work out alright. She hoped that her friends and teachers would be able to help her. To return home in shame was one thing, but to leave people she was coming to really care about behind felt far worse in comparison. "No more of this, Jae," her mother said. "Yes, mom," Jae instinctively bowed her head, as if her mother was there. It was almost like she could feel her mother push at her head a bit. She supposed it could have been worse. Whenever Jae and Eunji go into trouble, Eunji's mom would start pushing at her and sometimes even thwacked at her. For Jae and Eunji, it was expected, and it was actually pretty typical. It wasn't anything that hurt too much or for too long either. "Now," her mother began again, "I want you to tell me everything that happened. I want your own words this time." "Yes, mom," Jae said and started from the beginning. Not the night in the woods or even the afternoon in the music room. But back with the encounter in the hallway after the party. When Leon tried to be nice and this whole mess began. |