iggy_lovechild (iggy_lovechild) wrote in squeenix, @ 2008-06-27 12:05:00 |
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Title: Sealing Fate
author: Iggy Lovechild
rating: eventual mature rating? For now...um, Pg-13...ish
fandom: Star Ocean: Til the End of Time
pairing: AlbelxFayt
disclaimer: The characters of SO:3 do not belong to me. They belong to Square/Enix and were created by a bunch of nice folks at Tri-Ace.
summary: Fayt dreams of mass destruction and fears that he might still lose control. How far will he go to repress his power? Meanwhile, Albel comes to grips with the concept that he actually cares about Fayt and is determined not to let him slip through his fingers.
chapter summary: Secrets are kept, confessions are made, and a simple fondness has begun to cross the lines into obsessive desire.
“Sealing Fate”
Chapter One: Dreamscapes and Word Games
He was filled with the most perfect joy.
Fayt Leingod could see his power as runes shimmering and twisting around his body. Armies swarmed him, faceless and yet familiar. He laughed and let loose the limitless energy contained within. It was just so simple and natural to feel this way. Bodies disintegrated into nothingness, entire lives ended at his very thought and whim.
It was beautiful; it was right. To see an entire world reduced to flames was nothing short of orgiastic. This was what he was born to do. The stars themselves were dust under his fingertips….
Fayt woke up with a harsh gasp. He was drenched in sweat and shaking badly. The symbols of destruction seemed to glow like effervescent tattoos under his skin. Fayt blinked his eyes and they were gone in an instant. A hallucination? Perhaps, but he was still trying to stifle the terror that choked him.
Fayt knew that the creature he was in his dreams wasn’t him, but he couldn’t deny the pleasure. He could not separate himself from what had been encoded onto his genes and yet also couldn’t allow himself to become the monster that he was in his most terrifyingly beautiful nightmares.
It was nearing dawn and the other bed in the hotel room was empty. The door to the adjoining bathroom was closed, which indicated that Albel Nox was awake and getting ready to go out. He trained nearly every morning, usually in the region’s harshest possible environment. Unfortunately for him, Aquaria’s climate was almost always temperate and pleasant. Since they were in Peterny and close to Suferio, Albel would probably head out to the desert….
Thinking about the day’s regularities calmed Fayt some, though he still felt unnerved. He didn’t want to be alone right now but he was loath to admit this to Albel. Fayt dreaded seeing the look of disgust that Albel got when he was confronted with weakness. It had taken so much work to gain the man’s respect yet it was far too easy to lose it.
When the bathroom door opened, Fayt was met with a faint expression of surprise. He saw it in the arching of Albel’s eyebrows and the slightest widening of his eyes.
“Hm, so you’re awake,” Albel noted.
“Uh, yeah,” Fayt managed. He hoped that it came off as sleepy and slightly incoherent.
“Well, since you’re up, why don’t you join me?” Albel offered. “I could use an actual challenge.”
Fayt suppressed a small shudder. Much as he loved sparring with Albel, it was probably the last thing he wanted to do right about now. He was feeling far too edgy and the way they always pushed at each other’s limits…Fayt didn’t want to risk losing control.
“No thanks,” Fayt demurred, “I’m really not alert enough yet and anyway, I’m thinking about going right back to bed for a couple more hours.”
He was about to add some excuse about needing to use the bathroom when Albel crossed the room in a few long strides. Fayt was astonished when Albel stood by the side of his bed and grabbed his chin with the long, slightly calloused fingers of his right hand. Albel forced Fayt’s chin up in order to peer into his face intently. His crimson eyes narrowed and his expression twisted into a dark scowl.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Albel demanded sharply. “You rarely back down from a challenge, much less one from me. Are you ill?”
Fayt escaped Albel’s grip as he shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”
The answer pissed Albel off rather than providing the false comfort Fayt had been hoping for. “Am I not a worthy enough opponent anymore?”
Fayt was actually relieved by his volatile reaction. He could handle his anger better than any show of concern, no matter how vague it was. “C’mon Albel, you know that’s not true,” Fayt sighed with exasperation.
A slow, insolent smirk curved his lips as his temper cooled. “I see. Then you must be afraid that I’ll win.”
Fayt snorted derisively, “Not hardly.”
Albel grinned wickedly, “Perhaps you should prove me wrong. Come with me; we’ll go to
“Albel…I can’t….” Fayt protested softly, despite the pang of longing that he was feeling.
Disappointment flickered across Albel’s features but it was quickly suppressed and replaced by haughty indifference. “Tch,” Albel sniffed dismissively, “Whatever.”
He left without another word or even a backward glance. Fayt sighed softly as the door slammed. What a way to start the day. No doubt he’d be getting the cold shoulder from Albel until he figured out a way to make it up to him.
Fayt shook his head wearily. How could he be thinking about damage control with Albel when he had bigger things to worry about? The dreams were getting progressively worse and more vivid. He only hoped that going to Aquaria would help. He knew that Nel would never understand exactly what had been done to him, but Fayt hoped that she could advise him from the standpoint of someone naturally inclined to sybological arts.
It was a long shot but currently his only option. For not the first time in recent memory, he wished that his father were still alive. There was so much that he didn’t know and that message left for them at his research lab didn’t really help anymore. They’d stopped the universe’s destruction…So now what?
It was a question that Fayt was having more and more trouble grappling with.
*~*~*~*~*
Albel leaned against the outside wall of Peterny’s south gate. He brooded as he considered going to
Something was wrong. He knew this to be true. Fayt had been far too quiet of late and had not given adequate reason for visiting Aquios. The Crimson Blade was no social butterfly despite her fondness for the boy. There was no way in hell Fayt was going there just to say hello.
Albel didn’t like the idea the Fayt was keeping secrets and he certainly hadn’t liked that look in his eyes. Though he was clever, Fayt was very easy to read. What had he been so afraid of?
Perhaps he was starting to regret his decision. The eventuality had crossed Albel’s mind more than once. Though it didn’t sit well with him, he was prepared for the inevitability. There was little reason for Fayt to stay with him, and it couldn’t be denied that Albel had never given him much good incentive to stick around.
The very thought of Fayt leaving put his teeth on edge. It was the last thing that Albel wanted and he hated that. When had he become so attached to the fool?
Stupid question, Albel silently berated himself. He knew exactly when he’d begun softening toward Fayt: The night that the little fool had claimed not to hate him. It had all snowballed from there as the boy had proved to be a stronger force to be reckoned with than his soft voice and kind eyes would suggest.
He balled his right hand into a fist. That little fool could not possibly think that he could turn his world upside down and then just leave. Of course…it wasn’t very damned likely that Fayt would want anything to do with a broken man like him, but he would not be free from him so easily.
The thought galvanized him and soothed his nerves somewhat. He would take control of this situation and he would not let Fayt slip through his fingers. If he was regretting the path he’d chosen, Albel would find out why. After that…Well then, it would just be a matter of figuring out how to make him stay.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Albel was back by the early afternoon with lunch in tow. Fayt watched with great interest, a bit surprised that he hadn’t returned and commenced with moody brooding.
He arched his eyebrows at Albel, “So what’s the occasion?”
“Hm?” Albel sent him a rather haughty glower over a metal clad shoulder. “What do you mean?”
Fayt shrugged, “Oh well…It’s just that we don’t usually eat together in any remotely civil manner.”
Albel’s tone was deceptively light, “Really? I hadn’t realized.”
The hairs on the back of Fayt’s neck stood on end. He was up to something and that made Fayt extremely nervous. Fayt stayed on the bed, watching as Albel sat at one side of the room’s dining table. Crimson eyes met Fayt’s suspicious gaze frostily.
“Do you have idea how ridiculous you look?” Albel scoffed softly. “You’ve willingly sparred with me countless times and yet you leer at me now as if you expect that I’ve poisoned your food.”
Fayt sighed and shook his head. “That’s really not the issue. I just know when you’re up to something.”
He joined Albel if only to appease him, though he was powerfully curious about Albel’s current brand of bizarrely civil behaviour. Fayt picked at the steamed bun in front of him and Albel shifted around the contents of a fruit cocktail with a fork. He could tell Albel wasn’t hungry and that it was all a pretense to something else. They sat in silence for a long time and it made Fayt horribly anxious with each passing minute.
“Are you having regrets?” Albel asked suddenly. He’d been so quick and direct that Fayt was completely thrown off guard.
“Oh…uh, what?” Fayt blinked dazedly.
Albel narrowed his eyes and it snapped Fayt back to attention. This was important, more than just idle conversation.
“Don’t be coy with me,” Albel replied softly. “You know what I’m talking about.”
Fayt furrowed his brow and held his tongue. What was it that he was supposed to be regretting? There were quite a few things that Fayt could think of offhand but which ones would be most relevant to Albel?
He suddenly recalled the day that he’d decided to stay on Elicoor with Albel and what the swordsman had said: ‘Do whatever you want, fool, but don’t expect me to be sympathetic if you come to regret it.’ Hmm…but why would Albel start thinking that he had?
“No, I’m not going back on my decision. Believe it or not, I’ve actually been quite happy here.”
Albel frowned deeply and seemed to be searching Fayt’s expression for lies or perhaps sarcasm. “Do you know that you never have told me why you wished to travel with me?”
Fayt sighed softly. He still didn’t understand it himself. Something about Albel drew him like a moth to flame and all he could really say was that he wanted to close to him. He knew that his feelings for him were stronger than friendship but he didn’t have the foggiest notion how to express them or if they’d even be welcome.
“It’s funny that you should mention that,” Fayt shook his head. “I suppose that I’ve become accustomed to this way of life. Back home I used to play simulators in which I acted as a great warrior. I guess living here is like…wish fulfillment.”
A look of irritation flitted over Albel’s features. It drew his eyebrows together and caused his lips to press into a thin line. “If that is truly the only reason, there should be no reason for you to dog me.”
“I don’t know…Trouble does tend to follow you around.”
The smallest of smiles curved Albel’s lips. “Heh, like you should talk, fool.”
Fayt chuckled softly, “You have a point there.”
As silence reigned once more, albeit one that was much more comfortable, Fayt contemplated the strange exchange they’d just had. Why on earth would Albel care about whether or not he stayed with him? Perhaps Albel was struggling with the same strong emotions that Fayt was. It seemed like a silly thing to consider but was it so hard to believe?
Fayt really did wonder….
“Would you miss me if I went away?” Fayt asked. He braced himself for the scathing remark or scornful laughter.
Instead Albel folded his hands over the table top and closed his eyes. Cold metal was stark against the pale flesh of his right hand. “I must admit that I have grown quite used to your company,” Albel replied haltingly.
The admission must have been difficult for Albel but it really wasn’t enough for Fayt. He was sick of all these silly word games and trying to interpret the riddles of Albel’s affection.
“That’s not a proper answer, you know,” Fayt scowled slightly. “Why can’t you just give me a straight response?”
“What would you have me say, maggot?” Albel snarled. “Should I fall on my knees and beg you never to go away?” His rising anger was as palpable as an impending storm.
“Dammit, that’s not what I mean,” Fayt protested. “How difficult is it to give just a little? ‘Yes’ or ‘no’, that’s all I want.”
The silence was deafening, no longer companionable but thick with tension. Albel’s face was tilted slightly downward and his bangs obscured his eyes. Fayt knew that he was pushing this issue a little too far, but he didn’t dare take his words back. There was more than one way to convey cowardice, after all.
“Yes,” Albel uttered the word so softly and bitingly that he made it sound like a curse. “If you left, I would miss you. I would hunt you down. Don’t think that you can be rid of me so simply.”
He slowly raised his head and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. The impassioned look in his eyes was unnerving and intense. “You once told me how scary you thought my obsession with power was. Well, I have a new obsession.”
Fayt swallowed hard, “What would that be?”
Albel smiled and it was both lovely and terrifying. “It’s you, Fayt.”
The revelation was not surprising but it still stunned him. His stomach clenched and he could only stare at Albel with eyes that were wide with disbelief.
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Fayt murmured.
“Don’t say a thing,” Albel shook his head, “I gave you my answer. Are you satisfied?”
Fayt couldn’t rightly reply to that little inquiry. Was Albel being sincere or just trying to scare him? Though he wanted to believe that this was just another way for Albel to try to push him away, he couldn’t fully convince himself.
TBC…