InsaneJournal

Page 137

Zeiss Manifold: Hey, this is actually a fairly nice landsc-WAIT
InkWeaver: oh hey look at that cartoon kit -- AHH
Delcat: When you see it...
Zeiss Manifold: Kuroneko? Or Longcat?
Delcat: It's their lovechild, I think.
Delcat: On the next page, they get run over by Ranma and Shampoo. At least, I can hope.
InkWeaver: OR
InkWeaver: Wolfwood comes in and fucks their shit up with the Punisher.
Delcat: Wow, it IS full of mercy!
Zeiss Manifold: I would pay good money to see that

Page 138

Zeiss Manifold: "Spring. A time for blowjobs."
InkWeaver: It
InkWeaver: NEVER
InkWeaver: ENDS
InkWeaver: Springtime, for blowjobs...
InkWeaver: in japanese!
Delcat: "A year in the life of a crazy dickgirl and her underage entourage."
Delcat: That's it, isn't it? They're trying to pull an Azumanga Daioh thing.
Delcat: guys
Delcat: I'm developing an aversion to boats.
InkWeaver: having never seen it, I can offer no opinion on that theory.
InkWeaver: me too.
InkWeaver: and fucking.
Zeiss Manifold: I think the boat is secretly behind all of this.
Delcat: Oh God. Her head is bigger than her HIPS.
Zeiss Manifold: The REAL magic sex toilet? On the boat.
Delcat: No, no, Zeiss. Then it would be a magic sex HEAD.
Zeiss Manifold: That cock is seriously like half the size of her
InkWeaver: I imagine that if I puffed air toward her
InkWeaver: (trying to refrain from using the word "blow" here)
InkWeaver: she would just tip over

Page 139

InkWeaver: oh yay
InkWeaver: honestly
InkWeaver: I am getting so bored
Zeiss Manifold: I think her nipples are just trying to flee her body
Delcat: I'm glad the next one we're working on gets progressively crazier by the page.
InkWeaver: yeah this is just getting tiring
InkWeaver: FUCKING - FUCKING - stupid dialogue - FUCKING - stupid dialogue WHILE fucking - AKSJDASKJD
Delcat: oh FUCK is she breaking in half in that last panel or is it just me.
Zeiss Manifold: She certainly looks it
Delcat: I wish we had buzzers like in America's Got Talent.
Delcat: The ability to stop a page at any time.
Zeiss Manifold: or the whole book for that matter
Zeiss Manifold: but
Zeiss Manifold: we have pledged to do this whole thing
Zeiss Manifold: no matter how long it takes
InkWeaver: WE
Delcat: WE MUST PERSEVERE!
InkWeaver: WILL
InkWeaver: CONQUER THIS
Delcat: *puts on We Shall Overcome*
Zeiss Manifold: SANITY IS GONE. IT IS NOT COMING BACK
Zeiss Manifold: BUT WITHIN MY HEART
Zeiss Manifold: AND WITHIN MY BRAIN
Zeiss Manifold: THE WILL TO SPORK LIVES ON!
Zeiss Manifold: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?
Zeiss Manifold: WE ARE THE FEARLESS SPORK SQUAD
InkWeaver: I AM TWELVE YEARS OLD AND WHAT IS THIS
Delcat: Pete Seeger, lead us through with catchy protest songs!
Delcat: ...wait a second, this is a mislabeled copy of Skip to My Lou.
InkWeaver: OH GOD
Delcat: :D
Zeiss Manifold: BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES THIS IS CRAP
InkWeaver: "Love Me Like a Rock" just came on
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: NO PAUL SIMON NOT TODAY.
Zeiss Manifold: OK PEOPLE
Zeiss Manifold: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS
Delcat: YESSIR
Delcat: I'D LIKE ANOTHER
Zeiss Manifold: I CAN'T HEAR YOU
Delcat: YES SIR, HIT ME AGAIN

Page 140

Zeiss Manifold: ONLY FORTY MORE PAGES LEFT
Zeiss Manifold: COCKS
Zeiss Manifold: SEX
Zeiss Manifold: PUSSY
Zeiss Manifold: CUM
Zeiss Manifold: ERECTION
InkWeaver: That, my friends, is a meta moment
Zeiss Manifold: BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM TOSHIHIRO ONO
InkWeaver: she seems to be summing up this - PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf
InkWeaver: Zeiss wins.
InkWeaver: WAIT
InkWeaver: WHERE IS HEART
InkWeaver: EVERYONE NEEDS HEART.
Zeiss Manifold: SHUT UP WE HAVE FIVE ALREADY
Delcat: For some reason, the kappa doll in the background is just killing me.
Zeiss Manifold: middle left panel - is her breast a fucking caterpillar
Delcat: Soon it will cocoon and then transform into a beautiful shitting dicknipple.
Zeiss Manifold: And hey - TIMESKIP. Don't tell me this isn't interesting.

Page 141

Zeiss Manifold: DAMMIT ONO I TOLD YOU TO SPAY THEM
Delcat: Her breasts are...wandering. And taking over the entire horizon of the bed.
InkWeaver: "And then you, a sixteen year old girl, can bear my dickgirl children! And no one will care because no one ever does!"
Delcat: I think they're going to do the Tetsuo sex blob thing again.
Zeiss Manifold: You need more than two people to do that.
Zeiss Manifold: Unless...
Zeiss Manifold: That's why they're moving to Tokyo
Zeiss Manifold: To destroy it
Delcat: She already has the equipment of two people.
Delcat: She ends up shoveling Viagra down her face by the handful to dull the pain of the transformation...
Delcat: And then they cut out 85% of the content for the movie and everyone wonders what the hell is going on but decides it's pretty cool anyway.
InkWeaver: I think they're going to transform into that monster then raze tokyo to the ground, godzilla style.
Zeiss Manifold: Oh my God.
Zeiss Manifold: ...The cover makes sense now.
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: WHAT
InkWeaver: WE SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND THE COVER.
InkWeaver: also something occurred to me
Zeiss Manifold: THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING
Zeiss Manifold: are you okay
Delcat: Oh hell, Winamp just shuffled up Sex Bomb...

Page 142

Zeiss Manifold: BOY I'D SURE HATE TO SEE IMMORALITY IN THIS HERE PORNO MANGA
InkWeaver: DAMN THOSE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PROSTITUTES
Zeiss Manifold: THEY DRIVE ME TO DRINK
InkWeaver: LURING IN INNOCENT DICKGIRLS AND MAKING THEM UNSUITABLE FOR MARRIAGE
Zeiss Manifold: This book is like the moral equivalent of a cuisinart machine.
Delcat: Are they naked on a boat now?
Delcat: Is the boat finally going to get some action?
Zeiss Manifold: YOU CAN DO IT BOAT

Page 143

Delcat: I've been to Tokyo. I think I was the most immoral thing there.
InkWeaver: never was there such a joyous cry
InkWeaver: as
InkWeaver: "I'M GONNA GET RAPED!"
InkWeaver: "KYAA!"
Whoa, that is a hell of realistic vibe. Did she lop off someone's cock for that?
Delcat: I mean, aside from the creepy hinge thing.
Zeiss Manifold: Given today's dong technology...
InkWeaver: dong technology?
InkWeaver: It's not stupid!
InkWeaver: It's adva~anced!
InkWeaver: and if anyone can place that quote, you get e-cookies.
Delcat: She has her pinky out. I didn't know that was proper dildo etiquette.

Page 144

Delcat: Hey, we've hit a gross of pages!
Zeiss Manifold: Something's *gross*, all right
InkWeaver: BAZING
InkWeaver: Also
Zeiss Manifold: I think that woman's tits are actually stress balls
InkWeaver: it looks like they're using her tits as reins.
Delcat: I...ow. They're not HANDLES, you know.

Page 145

Delcat: So...are they gonna just lose interest as these kids grow up and sprout boobs?
Delcat: That's been bugging me.
InkWeaver: I have seriously been wondering that this entire time.
Zeiss Manifold: I...don't know
Delcat: It's like, OH WE'LL BE TOGETHA 4-EVAH
Delcat: But they're EPHEBOPHILES
Zeiss Manifold: If we subscribe to the "ghost" theory, then that shouldn't be a problem
InkWeaver: now now delcat
InkWeaver: that might not be the case
InkWeaver: it might be just that they are very attracted to these... girls
InkWeaver: not because of their bodies but because of true love
Delcat: Inky?
InkWeaver: Delly?
Delcat: Is that a statement you REALLY want associated with you online.
Zeiss Manifold: We might finish this.
Delcat: ?
InkWeaver: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD.
InkWeaver: I DID NOT EVEN
InkWeaver: REALIZE
InkWeaver: ROFL
Zeiss Manifold: There is a "That's what she said" joke lying in here but I'm too lazy to make it
Zeiss Manifold: TRU LURRRVE
Zeiss Manifold: Hey guys
Zeiss Manifold: There's only 37 pages left

Page 146

Delcat: *cough* MOVING ON. Is it just me, or are they kind of turning into an alien hive breed here? NNNAAAH, MUST SUCK TITS FOR GOOD OF QUEEN.
Zeiss Manifold: Thanks, author's note!
Zeiss Manifold: Out of all the questions this book raises, you take the one minor reference to a Sentai show.
Delcat: ...okay. Totally unironically? I WANT ME ONE O' THOSE.
Delcat: Not to use, but to put on my coffee table.
Zeiss Manifold: Where are the cocks growing out of?
Delcat: And never acknowledge.
Zeiss Manifold: It looks slightly non-euclidean
Delcat: Especially when the Mormons dropped by.
InkWeaver: I just want one to pet
InkWeaver: I mean
InkWeaver: it has those little arms
InkWeaver: almost like it's waving at you
Zeiss Manifold: It reminds me of the Imperial Interrogation Droid
Delcat: Awwww, whosagoodtentaclemonster?
InkWeaver: DOOYOUWANTTHEBALL
Delcat: So what's inside it? A jizz resevoir, or...something more sinister?
Zeiss Manifold: A thousand hidden cocks
Zeiss Manifold: of varying materials

Page 147

Delcat: You start using it and OH MY GOD IT'S A CAMOFLAUGED DALEK AAAAAH*ZAP*
Zeiss Manifold: is that machine ejaculating
InkWeaver: look at the craters on that
InkWeaver: it almost looks like a tentacled moon
Delcat: It's such a weird blend of organic and inorganic. I'm seriously in love with the design for the sheer bizarreness.
Delcat: And I've been reading this manga so long that I can somehow ignore that she's trying to rape a middle-schooler with it.
Zeiss Manifold: So magical sex toy droid = only good thing about the book, I take it
Zeiss Manifold: I'm just blocking out the pedophilia at this point
Zeiss Manifold: and concentrating on the background details
Delcat: ...yup, that would appear to be the case. We love you, sex toy droid!
Delcat: Let's name it. How about Mr. Wiggles?
InkWeaver: MR. WIGGLES~~~<3
Zeiss Manifold: MISTER WIGGLES
Delcat: OH, LIFE HAS A PURPOSE AGAIN
Zeiss Manifold: MISTER WIGGLES

Page 148

Zeiss Manifold: I miss Mr. Wiggles already.
Delcat: M...Mr. Wiggles? Where did you go?
Zeiss Manifold: I do like how this page is a microcosm of the entire book, though
InkWeaver: AWWW
InkWeaver: WHERE DID WIGGLES GO
Delcat: Oh, it so is not.
InkWeaver: I HATE THIS CRAP BRING BACK WIGGLES.
Delcat: How can you be so cruel?
Delcat: THERE'S NO BOAT.
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe they're fucking on a boat
Zeiss Manifold: Huh? HUH?
Delcat: Ah, true. Sorry.

Page 149

Zeiss Manifold: Is this the Ono equivalent of a montage sequence
Delcat: Have...have we just given up on dialogue at this point?
InkWeaver: dude
InkWeaver: is this a montage
InkWeaver: like a 90s MONTAGE
InkWeaver: what music should it have?
Zeiss Manifold: WE NEED MUSIC
Delcat: Something about penises...
Delcat: Bananaphone?
Delcat: ...it's about penises if I say it is.
Zeiss Manifold: This isn't but it works suprisingly well
Delcat: All I can think of is how nice it'd be if I was rolling up that eraser in Katamari Damacy right now. It's the same kind.

Page 150

Zeiss Manifold: for god's sakes how long is this montage going to last
Delcat: You know, she's been taken to Ariake. You'd think we would've wrapped up by now.
Zeiss Manifold: Take Me To Ariake II: Take Harder
InkWeaver: Maybe we're waiting for the physical Ariake
InkWeaver: metaphorical I mean
InkWeaver: as in the great big Ariake in the sky
InkWeaver: as in, them killing themselves or an angry mob lynching them.
Delcat: Haven't we seen this exact same fucking scene before?
Zeiss Manifold: what do you mean by 'fucking scene'
Zeiss Manifold: are you emphasizing 'scene' or are you referring to a scene of fucking
Zeiss Manifold: 'cause I hear you either way
Delcat: I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.

Page 151

Delcat: oh God you are ruining Mah Nah, Mah Nah forever for me
Zeiss Manifold: "Semen-colored memories of the way we were..."
Delcat: Guys...I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I'm sick and tired of looking at cocks.
Zeiss Manifold: there aren't even any interesting cocks in this
Delcat: Have they seriously fucked on every block in town?
InkWeaver: I'm telling you
InkWeaver: all of Japan is going to wake up covered in jizz
InkWeaver: oh wait it's Japan that happens every day anyway.
Delcat: Did they have a road map and a Sharpie for the purpose of keeping track, like a Silent Hill game?

Page 152

Delcat: I used to thought?
Delcat: I used to thought I could survive this.
Delcat: Now, I'm not so sure.
InkWeaver: god.
InkWeaver: I .
InkWeaver: The Engrish is so damning her.
InkWeaver: here.
InkWeaver: dskfjlsdklfj
Zeiss Manifold: You know we really haven't been laying enough blame on the translators
InkWeaver: IT'S INFECTING ME.
Delcat: At least now everyone knows what that smell is. People were wondering if something died.
Zeiss Manifold: Lots of sperm died.

Page 153

Delcat: I think that's the same boat over and over and over again. They've been trying to sail out of this manga, but they just come out again on the other side, like the void in Coraline.
Zeiss Manifold: This is going to make for the weirdest set of vows ever
Delcat: So there IS a pee fetish going on here?
Delcat: Maybe THAT'S the smell.
Zeiss Manifold: It's sort of an implied pee fetish
Zeiss Manifold: so far
InkWeaver: implied pee
InkWeaver: is the best kind of pee!
InkWeaver: And how!
Delcat: Oh boy, a little girl with a wedding ring. That isn't gonna draw attention from the authorities at all.
InkWeaver: Delcat.
InkWeaver: the authorities have not even been drawn by their public fucking.
InkWeaver: Loud, juicy fucking.
InkWeaver: and no authorities.
InkWeaver: DO YOU REALLY THINK THE WEDDING RING WILL DO ANYTHING.
Delcat: I CAN HOPE OKAY I CAN HOPE

NOTE: After the end of the previous chapter, there are a few full-page illustrations. None of them are particularly sporkable, but I’ll put them up for the sake of completion.

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