Zeiss Manifold: Man, I hate those dreams where I'm supposed to go to my final exam and end up in the hexagon dimension D: Delcat: I can't tell if that's a dick or a floaty toy. Zeiss Manifold: I can't tell which way it's pointing. Is that an erection or is it just growing out of his mons? Delcat: All I know is he broke the underwire in one bra cup. I hate it when that happens. InkWeaver: I hate those dreams where I show up to my exam naked InkWeaver: and instead of classmats InkWeaver: I'm surrounded by hexagons Zeiss Manifold: am i femboy uguu~ Delcat: I hate those dreams where instead of dreaming, I'm in Femboy School being raped by a bunch of ladies in the dick. Delcat: ...HELP ME. Zeiss Manifold: I don't think these pages even count as pin-ups anymore Zeiss Manifold: Like, if I pinned this on my wall, I think the wall would retaliate Delcat: Like, fall on you like in a Daffy Duck cartoon? I can see that. Delcat: backwards elbow
Delcat: OH GOD HORRIBLE FLIPPER ARM InkWeaver: All the gloves in this series look like they're made of liver. Delcat: THEY WENT BACK IN TIME AND MADE HIM A THALIDOMIDE BABY InkWeaver: And the tits all look like you could squeeze them and mayonnaise would come out Delcat: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FETISH IS THAT Zeiss Manifold: ALSO HIS FORESKIN IS EXPLODING INTO A RAINBOW OF SKIN-SLAG Delcat: Inky are you just hungry for a sandwich is that it InkWeaver: Also: who is she trying to convince here, guys. InkWeaver: NO LIVER IS DISGUSTING D:< Delcat: Is it still consensual if it's brainwashing? Zeiss Manifold: Is it still consensual if it's wasps? Delcat: Isn't that, like, assrape AND mindrape? Delcat: Wait! This isn't semen...IT'S BEES Zeiss Manifold: Bees, my god.
Zeiss Manifold: SEE? CONSENSUAL InkWeaver: Hey guys InkWeaver: what's the definition of consensual Delcat: Yes, in that "turning kids into crack whores except they can literally never be rehabilitated way" InkWeaver: Oh okay here let me get it from the webster's InkWeaver: NO InkWeaver: Pronunciation: \kən-ˈsen(t)-sh(ə-)wəl, -shəl, -shü-əl\ Function: adjective Etymology: Latin consensus + English -al Date: 1754 1. describing the action of injecting subject with hormone shot to emotionally bond him to another person Delcat: We built this place to help them adjust...gently, slowly, to a new way, a new life...and also ON ROCK AND ROOOOOLLL InkWeaver: LMFAO Delcat: WHO RIDES THE COCK AND BALLS INTO OUR GUITAR Zeiss Manifold: DON'T TELL US YOU NEED US Zeiss Manifold: 'CAUSE WE'RE THE FEMBOY FOOLS Zeiss Manifold: LOOKING FOR AMERICA, COMING THROUGH YOUR PROSTATE wait that doesn't rhyme InkWeaver: Are like aliens gonna burst from their bodies now InkWeaver: is that what this is Delcat: I dunno, I just see this ending in an Island of Dr. Moreau thing Delcat: Not like the book, like in the movie where they had fucking submachine guns and junk Zeiss Manifold: Hold up guys, it's time to take off the mask and reveal the half-drawn, wonky eyes behind the gentle fem smile!.
Delcat: Delcat: So...despite seeing all those other kids, it's really just the three. Delcat: These three drooling, whinging morons are our Adam, Eve, and Billy Bob. Delcat: And incidentally their names are probably masturbation jokes. Zeiss Manifold: Mother, maiden, and fuckie chickie Delcat: Joni, the thinker, the feeler, the BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWer Zeiss Manifold: The tinker, the tailor, the buttplug-retailer InkWeaver: What is that saying? That is a fucking stupid saying InkWeaver: "The good couldn't keep the bad from doing the bad from the good things that the bad were fucking up the badness good bad bad bad GOOD: Zeiss Manifold: This is just Evangelion with less monsters and more dildoes. Delcat: LOOK IT IS NOT A PROPER FEMIN SAYING UNLESS THERE ARE AT LEAST FIVE CONTRADICTIONS OKAY
Zeiss Manifold: You know, if they wanted to really protect these kids so they could use them for their own nefarious ends then why did they even leave the vodka bottles on the side of the road to begin with Zeiss Manifold: really, was this society thought out AT ALL Zeiss Manifold: DON'T HANDLE THE ZONING BOARD DUTIES WHILE MASTURBATING DAMMIT InkWeaver: In panel 5, is he lying on a piece of wood or something Zeiss Manifold: Panel 5: this invisible cock is delicious Delcat: Tiny Head in Little China, film at eleven Delcat: Between panels three and five, he just TOSSES Joni to the back of the room Delcat: "GO BOY GO" Zeiss Manifold: dammit Charlie Brown showed up to class dressed as a ghost again InkWeaver: WHAT ARE THEY EVEN InkWeaver: I DON'T EVEN InkWeaver: WHO EVEN InkWeaver: WHY Delcat: BECAUSE YOU TOUCH YOURSELF AT NIGHT Zeiss Manifold: Panel 6: joni get your feet out of the stirrups
Delcat: OH FUCK IT'S JONESTOWN TIME Delcat: WE ARE CHASING THAT COMET InkWeaver: Someone CLEARLY MSPainted those hearts in. Was that *really* necessary. Delcat: What, all eight billion of them? She's sweating moe at this point. Zeiss Manifold: dammit joni stop using that mescaline lubricant that's for grown-ups Zeiss Manifold: also return of Yes font Zeiss Manifold: So I think this is setting us up for one thing: Zeiss Manifold: FEMBOY SCHOOL ICE CREAM MAN InkWeaver: I've figured it out. InkWeaver: They're going to come out of their shells as wasps. InkWeaver: Zeiss was right. Zeiss Manifold: He's gonna come to town and teach all the Femboys important life lessons about friendship! :D Delcat: THAT WOULD MAKE THIS SO MUCH BETTER
Delcat: TIT-SEEKING MISSILE Delcat: Is he doing the potty dance in the last panel or just trying to cut off the blood flow to his throbbing, painful dick? Zeiss Manifold: "He had to guide them for them to trust us" How 'bout just INJECTING THEM WITH WASPS ONCE YOU FIND THEM LIKE YOU DO WITH EVERYONE ELSE InkWeaver: He "thot"? InkWeaver: What is he, a Cockney boy? Zeiss Manifold: He's gotta go find his friends for some STEPPIN' TOIME InkWeaver: Last panel: "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now! Gotta go, gotta go, gotta goooo!" InkWeaver: Why did they all turn into wooden poser dolls in the bottom left panel? Zeiss Manifold: It's the Indian in the Cupboard all of a sudden what Delcat: What sick, perverse fuckass would stick a dildo in the Indian Cupboard? D:
Delcat: Panel 3: KAAAARP KAAAAAARP Zeiss Manifold: oh fuck STAN LEE WROTE THIS AFTER ALL Delcat: This moral brought to you by Uncle Fem-Ben. InkWeaver: "Will they have the sense to have sex with each other?" Zeiss Manifold: i dunno davey InkWeaver: Well. That's not a sentence I've ever heard spoken aloud or read anywhere. Zeiss Manifold: neither is "synthetic semen injector", inky Delcat: Of course they will! Fanfiction dictates that any two males traveling with each other fuck on the third night! InkWeaver: Well. InkWeaver: I guess... I guess this comic is opening me to new ... horizons InkWeaver: i can't even make this positive SHIT
Zeiss Manifold: IN THE FEMBOY NATIONAL GUARD, YOU CAN Delcat: HEY GUYS Delcat: GUYS Delcat: THIS IS TOTALLY BRAND-NEW CUTTING-EDGE SPACE TECHNOLOGY Delcat: I DIDN'T JUST REWRITE A FUCKING CELL PHONE INTO A MIND CONTROL DEVICE, IT'S TOTALLY HOW IT IS Delcat: God this is like five-year-olds turning cardboard boxes into time machines only -300% as endearing Delcat: "It's not child abuse...EXACTLY"? EXACTLY?! WELL WHAT THE FUCK IS IT THEN Zeiss Manifold: Well, they're not hitting him with the phone... Delcat: IF THERE IS AN ELLIPSIS, IT IS EXACTLY InkWeaver: You know, in the original, I think if you look at this without the text, you realize InkWeaver: what really happened here was that Joni dropped his ice cream and started to cry, and his mom was like whipping out a cell phone and being like, "Oh here look at this calvin and hobbes comic, sweetheart! You'll feel better!" Delcat: But considering Joni, just dangling her keys would've worked
InkWeaver: They are EVEN DUMBER than redneck dumb. Even rednecks, even the DUMBEST rednecks, I've never heard them say "sanniches" Delcat: Sannich, noun: A foodstuff consisting of dirt and sticks, better known as "Fucktard Viddles". Delcat: Please keep fightin' sticks separate from eatin' sticks at all times Delcat: Ohhh, we're in the NEWnited States! That explains everything! InkWeaver: Are their brains made of lint? InkWeaver: NEWNITED STATES? InkWeaver: WHAT THE Zeiss Manifold: YEAH Zeiss Manifold: LIKE NORTH OREGON Zeiss Manifold: AND WYOMAINE Zeiss Manifold: AND GEORGIA II: GEORGE HARDER InkWeaver: SANNICHES InkWeaver: "BITCH BUTTS" InkWeaver: you can say BITCH InkWeaver: but you can say ASS Delcat: In the Newnited States, up is down, black is white, and urethras are waterslides! InkWeaver: that's like InkWeaver: somebody walking up to you and being like "I'm gonna fuck your hiney up" Delcat: What a gosh-darned cunt.
Delcat: SOMEBODY SET US UP THE BUTT! Zeiss Manifold: "Far better?" So everyone's erudite all of a sudden? Zeiss Manifold: WHY MY WORD JEEVES I DO BELIEVE WE'RE IN FEMBOY SCHOOL Delcat: "Your world is 25 years dead. Sorry, it happens *awesomeface*" Delcat: they just be trollan' Zeiss Manifold: Trapped in a mine that caved in, and everyone knows Zeiss Manifold: The only ones left were me and Will and Fem Zeiss Manifold: Femothy, Femothy, where on Earth did you go~ InkWeaver: "Locked it away with a femian stanza"? OH YEAH I CAN VERB A RANDOM ADJECTIVE NOUN AS WELL Delcat: QUIT YER WHININ' WILLY sounds like a suggestion to stop jerking off. I mean, I know we keep coming back to that, but GAWD InkWeaver: HORKED IT UNDER A PURPLE CHEESE MONKEY InkWeaver: SEE InkWeaver: SEE I CAN DO IT TOO FUCKERS Delcat: I think that is actually the correct Norwegian term for the Vagstack Gambit Zeiss Manifold: My hovercraft is full of splorts.
Zeiss Manifold: My prostate was full as it could be, and no one ever got around to finding Femothy. Delcat: In Nyarworld, you are either a child molestor or a BIG STUPIDHEAD. Such is the law. Zeiss Manifold: What, can't you feel the enlightenment~ Delcat: Why the FUCK didn't they just do this to begin with Delcat: just go "Hey, this is what happened, if you wanna leave, leave" InkWeaver: Do Joni and his Mistress live in a permanent dimension of bubbles? Delcat: as opposed to this WHOLE FUCKING CONVOLUTED SHITBAG Zeiss Manifold: oh god it's AZATHOTH
Delcat: "From now on I'll think for us both! But remember, totally consensual!" Zeiss Manifold: The bad thing is that in the comic you can't hear their pack-a-day voices Delcat: Does...does she have three elbows? She's like half-Closer, from Silent Hill 3. If you shoot her in the face, she has to lower herself down to die. Delcat: They all have exactly one matching kink each. What the fuck would they do with me? Delcat: Like, it'd just be Delcat: "SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING." InkWeaver: When the boobs look like balloons about to pop and spew shit everywhere, it's just not attractive. InkWeaver: Does she have a nub for a thumb? Delcat: Speaking of which, you can tell they're TRULY liberated women because they don't mind wearing their period panties to a date. InkWeaver: what InkWeaver: is InkWeaver: I'LL DO THE THINKING FOR US BOTH InkWeaver: yeah that's not nonconsensual Zeiss Manifold: 'CUZ I'M A WASP Delcat: AND BY THINKING I MEAN RAPE YOU AND TOSS YOUR BODY IN THE LIME QUARRY Zeiss Manifold: AND WASPS HAVE BIG BRAINS Delcat: AND TINY WAISTS AND LUMPY EVERYTHING ELSE
Zeiss Manifold: so this is like Nyar's life story here Delcat: If you are sobbing about your bondage fantasies, you are not doing it right Delcat: WONDER WOMAN, STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS STORY Delcat: WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE HORRIBLE TRUTH InkWeaver: Joni: SEE IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BREASTFEED Zeiss Manifold: Joni has the gift to turn women's breasts into delicious strawberries Delcat: Jack/Willy: *run for the border* BEARS ARE BETTER THAN THIS InkWeaver: Others: WE'RE FOLLOWING YOU... WE'RE FOLLOWING YOU... WE ARE NOT FOLLOWING YOU OH GOD Delcat: Fairy tales, huh? So when does the hunter kill the big bad chickenhawk?
Delcat: So, like...if this is like an annual spawning, which they're making it out to be...are they going to all die afterward? Delcat: Like, is this all going to end in seagulls? Delcat: Or do I just really wish I was watching Futurama right now? Delcat: Panel 2: MAGI, MAGI KAAAAARP Zeiss Manifold: "The moans of pleasure! The piercing scream of a freshman!" InkWeaver: Did she drop something into his esophagus to see how long it would take to hit bottom? Otherwise, I don't get the SPLOOOOOOSH noise. Delcat: Eggs. It's the egg pod. Delcat: In three days, he will give birth to a bouncing baby larva. By way of his brain stem. Delcat: AND SOMEONE WILL FAP TO IT. Delcat: yeah boy howdy that is a real consensual face right there Zeiss Manifold: at least it's not a bunch of tiny femboys eating their host femboy from the inside-out Delcat: oh it is, the brain stem is just the last stop Delcat: ...guys we are getting really fucking dark aren't we Zeiss Manifold: ...we are Zeiss Manifold: hey, what's this thing in my drink Zeiss Manifold: *sips* Zeiss Manifold: WASP DNA InkWeaver: zeiss that's just jizz InkWeaver: you got the wrong bottle again Delcat: Sorry about that |3 Zeiss Manifold: look i dunno what the kids are calling it these days
Delcat: okay like Delcat: did you see that episode of Flapjack where there were hearts like that all over the place Delcat: and they turned out to be bloodsucking insects? Delcat: ...yeah. Delcat: IT'S THE SWARM Zeiss Manifold: "Suck the slime off momma's tongue!" Zeiss Manifold: Just like a real wasp! :D Delcat: "I have a bad case of oral thrush! Be the bird to my crocodile!" Delcat: teehee, economics are silly, teehee, we're ladies InkWeaver: I hate when they WRITE "giggle" InkWeaver: IT is the most inane nauseating thing EVER Delcat: Just picture it in a total deadpan. "Giggle. Giggle. Oh, this is so fun. Giggle." Zeiss Manifold: "I thought sadly about humans!" Oh come on lady, like you've got time to philosophize when a 12-year old is pawing at your lumpjunk InkWeaver: He's taking the stitches out of her vag. Zeiss Manifold: They make it sound like they're all like five seconds away from LET'S BUY SHOES InkWeaver: At least, I think those are stitches... not hair or whatever it's supposed to be. Delcat: Yeah, this shit purports itself to be feminist when really it's Nyar's-a-virgin-ist. Delcat: are they like pogoing up and down in place what is this Delcat: Better plan: "LOOK, BOOBIES" Zeiss Manifold: tl;dr: OUR CONVOLUTED, EXCESSIVELY ROUNDABOUT PLAN TO GIVE TWO TEENAGE BOYS BONERS IS FINALLY PAYING OFF
Delcat: CUM TOGETHEEEER RIGHT NOOOOOW Zeiss Manifold: "Sometimes I burn myself, just to feel alive!" Zeiss Manifold: "Okay that's it, put your semen back in we're taking you to the damn therapist." Delcat: "Shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. The world is a shithole, full of holes, full of shits. I take a drag on my smoke." InkWeaver: AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE ME InkWeaver: 'CAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAND InkWeaver: WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES InkWeaver: YEAH YOU SPLOOGE JUST TO KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE Delcat: IF YOU CAN'T CUM ANYTHING NICE, DON'T CUM ANYTHING AT ALL Delcat: COCKRINGS PROVIDED AT FRONT DESK Zeiss Manifold: Panel 1: you go man, be proud of that uniball Zeiss Manifold: Last panel: It's Tuesdays With Femboy all of a sudden. Delcat: First panel: NYAAAAN Delcat: seriously why is he acting like a fucking cat Delcat: I like that he went for the accurate agricultural reference rather than the better-sounding one. It's so much more high-brow. InkWeaver: i mean, we are erudite now InkWeaver: it's FAR BETTER
Zeiss Manifold: THE FONTS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE Delcat: 8DEHK MY LOVE Delcat: what the fuck Delcat: I thought it was only OK Jack if it was red on black. Delcat: ...wait, is that some kind of obscure race porn :| Delcat: THIS MANGA IS RACIST Zeiss Manifold: WHAT MAKES THE FEMBOY FEM Zeiss Manifold: Second panel: Tube tops are not appropriate dress code for Femboy School unless used as a cock ring Delcat: "TH' TV LIED! WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAFTA COLLECT 'EM ALL!" Zeiss Manifold: y'know, if they just put a "HANDJOB HOUSE" sign on on the lawn they could have brought these boys here 300 pages earlier and SAVED US THE BOOK
Delcat: SQUISH SQUASH SQUISH SQUASH SQUISH SQUASH InkWeaver: "For you guys too" InkWeaver: ... InkWeaver: GAY Delcat: He has galoshes up his ass Delcat: SOMEBODY WENT AND LEFT THAT FEMBOY OUT IN THE RAIN Delcat: AND I'M AFRAID I'LL NEVER SEE THAT RECIPE AGAIN Delcat: OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOsplort Delcat: return of thalidomide arm Zeiss Manifold: we can tell this is an important page because NEW FONTS YEY Delcat: First panel: Don't be unreasonable, your fem is gonna eat your eyes Zeiss Manifold: Yay, he's cumin! We can put him in tea now! Delcat: Or curry! So SPICY if you know what I mean Delcat: ...I mean, specifically, that it is made of spices. Zeiss Manifold: SPLOOOOORT spices!
Delcat: EN GARDE! InkWeaver: PUSH IT TO THE LIMIT Zeiss Manifold: STROKIN' AT THE RAZOR'S EDGE Zeiss Manifold: DON'T STOP FAPPING YOU MIGHT SPLORT YET AND YOU CAN FEEL IT InkWeaver: Why couldn't they have run through a ribbon, jizzing wildly, hands waving above them InkWeaver: that would've made this perfect InkWeaver: Like at the end of a race! Zeiss Manifold: YOU ALL WIN Zeiss Manifold: what Delcat: good God he is doing his dangdest to catch that curdled manyogurt in his KAAAAARP InkWeaver: And then they could've stood on one of those steppy-thingies, covered in jizz, and received first place medals InkWeaver: SINCE THEY'RE ALL WINNERS Delcat: Do they all get a little crappy vibrator? InkWeaver: They're like the three cumketeers. Zeiss Manifold: so is the next page the Candid Camera guys running out and stuff Delcat: oh God his arms Delcat: "I'M FLYING TO THE LAND OF THE SANNICHES" "uh guys should he be coming blood" Zeiss Manifold: penis: HEY MARATHON BOY CAN I GET SOME HELP HERE Delcat: Ohhh, God. Is this it? Is this the end? Delcat: Where could it possibly go from here? Zeiss Manifold: WE'RE NEARING THE END HERE InkWeaver: So does that mean we're gonna jizz Zeiss Manifold: it means that we MAY NEVER JIZZ AGAIN Delcat: I already feel like it's backing up into my bladder man Delcat: *DRAMA BUTTON* Delcat: oh hey is that working again InkWeaver: IS it possible to pee jizz I mean that doesn't InkWeaver: wait InkWeaver: THIS COMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC D:<