Benjamen Isaac Braeden (mr_hero) wrote in spn_nextgen, @ 2011-05-25 23:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | !deleted and extended scenes, 1x12 - the show must go on |
Deleted Scene #8: One Hundred Things You Should Have Done In Bed
Twisting his hand in Ben’s hair, Jesse pulled back slightly, lips still brushing Ben’s. “I want you to fuck me.”
It felt like Ben’s heart slammed against his ribcage. Heat flushed into his face at such a bold request. He’d never even done anal with a girl before. Relax, relax, it’s nothing, it’s not a big deal, he told himself. He swallowed, then nodded, nerves moving through him like lava as he took Jesse’s mouth again.
Heat swam through Jesse at Ben’s answer, his tongue spearing eagerly into him. On top of that was a flutter of nerves; he gone there with a couple of girls before, but he’d never been on the receiving end. He’d never really considered it until Ben.
Working open the other man’s jeans, Jesse slid a hand past his underwear to grip the base of Ben’s cock, giving it a long stroke. Ben immediately broke the kiss with a gasp, his hips arching into it. Apparently taking it slow was not on the agenda.
“Easy, tiger,” Ben said in a breathless voice. “Don’t wanna start the show too soon. I’ve never...” he swallowed hard. “I’m new to this.”
Jesse quirked an eyebrow. “Here I thought you would have pegged a lot of girls,” he said, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “I’m new to this side of things, too. But I can talk you through it.”
Ben felt a blush burn its way across the bridge of his nose. To take the edge off, he slid his hand down the back of Jesse’s jeans, past the waistband of his underwear as well to grip the curve of his ass. “Good. I like it when you talk,” he said against his ear, pressing a little harder into Jesse’s hand in spite of his earlier words.
Giving a shiver, Jesse pressed his hips back into Ben’s hand. Giving Ben a last stroke, Jesse pulled back a few steps, his eyes on Ben’s as he tugged off his t-shirt. Ben pulled his lower lip between his teeth, smiling slightly around it as he followed suit and continued a step farther. Toeing off his shoes, he pushed his pants and boxers down as far as they would go before stepping out of them, all the while keeping his eyes on Jesse.
Following his lead, Jesse felt a fresh wave of nerves and desire as his eyes fell on Ben’s erection. Lightly stroking his own, his gaze met Ben’s. “Where do you want me?”
Ben felt his mouth go dry at the question. The bed was an obvious choice, and only a few feet behind them, but all the furniture in their suite felt amazing. He was especially fond of the large Maxwell chair facing the view from their fifteenth-floor bay windows. Maybe more of a blowjob chair than a fucking chair, though, he thought flippantly. Although bending him over it didn’t sound like such a horrible idea, given the carpet’s high thread count. God, I wish I could just live in this place forever. His eyes drifted downward for a moment, following the lines of Jesse’s chest and torso, his tongue swiping out to wet his lower lip.
“Everywhere,” Ben answered in a gravelly tone. He swallowed, then tried again. “But let’s start over by the Maxwell.”
A low groan bubbling up from the back of his throat, Jesse gave himself another firm tug before walking over and pressing against the back of the chair. Widening his stance, he leaned forward slightly before looking back at Ben. “Like this?”
All the thoughts streaming through Ben’s mind were instantly wiped away in that moment. All he could do was stare, filled with need, Jesse laying himself out to him like a feast. No wait, he thought distantly, his brows furrowing up. I can’t just... there’s ways to this, isn’t there? He bit his lip and pumped his cock loosely in his hand, quickly scanning around the room for something to use as a lubricant before his eyes fell on the still-open bathroom door.
“Come ‘round and sit,” Ben said in a hushed voice, his free hand coming up to run down the length of Jesse’s back. “I’ll be right back.”
Shivering at the touch, Jesse nonetheless felt whispers of uncertainty creeping into his head. He straightened, turning and leaning against the chair instead of sitting, biting his lip as he watched the bathroom. He blushed with relief when Ben came right back out, with a bottle of Claire’s lotion in hand.
“Looks like you got rule one down well enough,” he said.
Ben laughed quietly, a little ripple of embarrassment rushing through him before he settled on his knees in front of Jesse.
“Wouldn’t be the first time I borrowed some in a pinch,” he admitted in a low voice. Though truthfully, it hadn’t been the only reason he’d used it; memories of Claire’s soft skin and the delicate scent filled his mind, adding an edge of yearning unrelated to the current situation.
However, rather than pump some of the lotion onto his cock, he coated his fingers instead, crawling forward a bit once the bottle was on the floor. Circling his unoccupied hand around Jesse’s cock, he pumped it slowly.
“Thought maybe you’d like this more,” he prefaced, then ran the flat of his tongue in a swirl over the head of Jesse’s cock as his fingertips stroked up the cleft of his ass from back to front, pausing to circle the puckered hole.
“Fuck,” Jesse gasped, his hands going back to grip the chair. His toes curled against the floor as he consciously relaxed his ass. “Yeah. That’s perfect.”
It was strange, feeling proud in moments like these. Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever get over the sensation, but it was a good one nonetheless, and he moved with much more confidence once he knew what he was doing. The next part, however, filled him with a little more nervousness. Sliding the head of Jesse’s cock past his lips, he very carefully eased in the first finger. In his mind, he tried to cross the act with something more familiar -- like the first time he’d been with Kim. Kim had been a virgin, whereas Amie -- his first girl -- had already had a few goes. Kim had writhed with it once he’d opened her up and she got used to his touch. Ben lifted his eyes up to Jesse’s, watching for the reaction.
His breath hitching, Jesse’s mouth fell open. It was...strange. Not in a bad way, and a lot smoother than he’d expected, but utterly unfamiliar. He let his breath out as he looked down at Ben, his hips rolling ever so faintly. “Yeah. More.”
God, he looked so incredibly hot. Ben felt his own cock twitch with longing as he slowly started to suck him off, pressing his finger in as far as it would go before curving it upward and pulling back. He managed three thrusts before adding in a second, his head dipping low before he withdrew for a fuller breath, his focus returning to the tip again. Jesse was tight; so much tighter than he was expecting, and it almost worried him.
Jesse gasped, biting down on his bottom lip. Now he was feeling the stretch. Relax, relax, relax, he coached himself. He focused on the double sensation, his head swimming. “You’re fucking amazing. I can’t wait to feel your cock inside me,” he breathed, his hips thrusting forward to Ben’s mouth, then back against his hand.
Ben groaned in response, the resulting rush of need almost unbearable. Every word Jesse said was pretty, even when it wasn’t, and Ben moved his free hand down to clutch his own cock and squeeze the head. His fingers scissored deep within him as he pulled back and thrust in again, a little harder and angled, trying to find that hidden spot he’d heard so much about.
“Ben!” Jesse hissed, arching over him and filling Ben with a brief sense of panic. Had he done something wrong? “Oh fuck, this is--” Jesse felt his heart pulsing in his ears, almost to the rhythm of Ben’s thrusts. His eyes ached to close, but he couldn’t look away from Ben’s mouth on him.
Definitely not wrong, Ben thought in response, a smile reflecting in his eyes as he circled his tongue along the tip of Jesse’s cock before dragging it down the length again, achingly slow. Maybe I should get him off first. Nice and relaxed that way. I like this. His hand left his cock and settled on Jesse’s knee, then slid inward to knead his inner thigh.
His leg quivering at the touch, Jesse couldn’t stop his hips from rocking even if he wanted to. It all felt too good to take. “I love your dirty mouth,” he breathed, twisting a hand in Ben’s hair. Then he gave a sharp cry, Ben’s fingers twisting just right. “Yeah, yeah! You’re so fucking amazing; I wanna come so bad!”
Ben let Jesse’s cock slip free from his lips as his hand came up to pump him, twisting up to the head before moving down again. “Do it, then,” Ben cajoled, his voice a little rusty from the lack of use. “Come for me, Jess.”
As close to the edge as he was, that was all it took. Thrusting wildly, Jesse gave a sharp cry as he came, clenching down on Ben’s fingers. Ben just barely had time to circle his lips around Jesse’s cock again, the now-familiar salt-tang blooming on the back of his tongue as he swallowed instinctively. The sounds Jesse made sent heat flaring in his gut. He wanted him so badly it physically hurt to think about it.
When the shudders finally subsided Ben let Jesse’s cock slip free from his lips again, almost smirking with self-satisfaction. He loved looking at Jesse all blissed out, and knowing that it was because of him only made him feel better. Tugging his fingers free, he took up the bottle of lotion again and poured some liberally into his hand, slicking up his straining erection as he bit his lower lip.
“Does it matter which way?” he asked in a low voice.
Jesse hummed, running his hands over and over through Ben’s hair. “Whichever way you want,” he said, looking through hooded eyes. Ben nodded in response, eyes falling closed as the comforting sensation rolled through his scalp and down through his body. He turned his lips in to kiss the inside of Jesse’s wrist.
“Bed for this, I think,” he said after a moment. Then his brows knit. “Or... well, maybe just sit in the chair, not on it.”
His mouth quirking up in a smirk, Jesse languidly made his way around the chair before sliding in. He sat at a slouch, watching for Ben to follow before lifting his feet onto the seat, his calves folded against his thighs.
Ben settled in front of him, looking down, his hand slowly jerking his cock more as a way to take the edge off than with any real intention. Standing up would be too high, given the height of the chair. He would have to crouch a bit.
Biting his lip, he slid a hand into the space between Jesse's back and the cushions of the chair, easing him to the edge. Ben wanted to watch what this did. He wanted to get it right.
Breathing became phenomenally harder as he put his feet beneath him, guiding himself in. There was a moment of resistance where he felt all the air burn in his lungs, then he was pressing in and being swallowed alive by heat. His whole body shuddered.
“Fuck,” he moaned, the vowel low and long as he inched deeper and deeper into Jesse. It was the tightest, most intense warmth he’d ever experienced, and his hands balled into fists on the armrest.
Jesse’s hands scrambled over Ben’s shoulders, digging into his back. His head fell back, his spine arching as Ben slid past the barrier and inside. “Ben, oh Ben, you’re so fucking huge,” he groaned. He breathed deeper, the slight burning edge to the feeling easing off. “More.”
“Fuck!” Ben groaned again, louder and crisper that time, his palms going flat before he moved them, one following the dip of Jesse’s spine to lift, the other twisting in the short hair at the nape of his neck as his mouth crashed into his. The resistance finally gone, Ben thrust in to the hilt and held there, despite the screaming urges to fuck into Jesse as hard and as fast as he could.
Groaning deep into his mouth, Jesse desperately returned the kiss. His head was spinning with heat and pleasure and oh god, Ben was so deep. Finally pulling back, he panted between breaths, “More.”
Ben nipped at Jesse’s lower lip and held it, running his tongue along the smooth skin before he let go. “You want more?” he replied, his voice low and tinged with lust and amusement. “I’ll give you more.” Then his hips were moving, pulling back slow and then snapping forward hard, nearly jarring them apart each time.
“You like that?” he asked in the same lust-rough voice, the words broken apart by each thrust.
Jesse’s breath caught with every thrust. He ran a hand up into Ben’s hair, holding on as though for his life. “Yes!” he keened. “I--oh! Your cock-- yes, fill me up!”
Fire coiling in his belly, Ben kissed him again, open and messily, then nipped at his jaw. The hand cradling Jesse’s neck moved, sliding down his muscled arm before dropping down in the small space between them, finding Jesse’s cock hard again and leaking. He wrapped his hand around it and twisted up to the head, pulling back enough to watch Jesse’s face, his eyes inky dark with hunger.
“Say it,” he breathed, his thrusts evening out, steady and fast in time with his jerking hand. “Say it, Jess. I wanna hear you say it. Say it say it say it please--”
Jesse’s head fell back, his neck arched. Ben’s hand felt unbelievable as he drove into him. He hardly registered Ben’s words, and he had no idea what he was asking. Really, he didn’t much care, though he tried to find something for him. “Yes, yes, yes,” he hissed. “Fuck me, feels so good!”
Ben suddenly stopped moving altogether, though his body shook in protest. Every instinct screeched not to stop, to keep going, so close so close so close, but he refused. He bore down hard, inches from Jesse’s face.
“Jess,” he said, his tone low and rumbling in his chest. “Please. I--” he swallowed around the crack in his voice, moving the hand out from beneath Jesse’s back and up to his face, his fingertips settling in the hair near his ear while his thumb rested on the apple of his cheek. “I need to hear it. Even if... even if you don’t mean it, I need to hear it. Please.”
He stopped, he stopped, why did he stop?! His chest heaving with each breath, Jesse’s face was etched with desperation. “I-- Please, anything,” he panted, looking straight into Ben’s eyes. “I’ll say anything you tell me.”
Ben struggled to breathe around the sudden pain in his chest. He leaned in and kissed him, achingly tender, rocking into him once, then again, keeping intentionally slow as he found pace again. Please don’t just let this be another mindless fuck, he thought, the thumb of the hand still circled around Jesse’s cock stroking over the tip. Please let it mean something to you. I need more than just this, please see that, please.
Jesse moaned against his mouth, languidly returning the kiss even as he tried to shift his hips into his hand. After everything, this was just way too slow. His hand came up, twisting in Ben’s hair and holding him close as he thrust his tongue into his mouth.
The silent demand pierced through the fog in Ben’s brain, and he reciprocated in kind. His hand drifted back to support Jesse’s neck again as he rocked up and hard, breaking the kiss with a shuddering gasp.
“Do you love me?” he asked against Jesse’s mouth.
His mouth falling open, Jesse’s eyes were glazed for a moment, not sure he heard right. “What?” he breathed, his nails scratching along Ben’s back. “You think I let just anyone fuck my ass?”
Had it been any other situation, Ben might have laughed. As it was, he only buried his face in Jesse’s neck to hide the blush that exploded on his face.
“Not exactly the answer I was looking for,” he muffled, feeling more than a little stupid. Some of the euphoria burned away.
He’d done something wrong; he wasn’t giving Ben what he wanted. And worse, that meant Ben wasn’t giving him what he wanted. “Don’t be an idiot,” Jesse said, tugging slightly on Ben’s hair so he could turn to see him. “I need you more than fucking air. Of course I love you. More than. You own me.”
Just like that, the heat flushed back through him again. In the closeness, there was no denying the sheer honesty Ben saw in Jesse’s eyes.
“Own you, huh?” he murmured, wishing for a moment that there was a bit more length to Jesse’s hair so he could twist it in his grip. Instead he moved his hand back to where his left heel was firmly pressed into the edge of the chair, lifting it so it settled around his hips. His other hand squeezed Jesse’s cock, then pumped it in time with his thrust.
With a groan, Jesse bit his bottom lip, his foot shifting higher along Ben’s back. “I’m yours,” he said, his back rolling with the uncontrollable desire to thrust. Leaving Ben, his hands gripped the top of the chair cushion just behind his head.
Ben thrust into him harder, his pace suddenly doubling up, the tenderness replaced with raw possessiveness. He pulled his hand away from him, slicking up his palm with the flat of his tongue, then took hold again and twisted up on the next few jerks.
“Damn right,” he growled out. His free hand slid back up beneath Jesse’s back again, lifting him into each thrust.
His grip tightening, Jesse gave a high gasp with every thrust. Every muscle in him wound tighter and tighter, his eyesight blurring from the overwhelming pleasure. “Ben. Ben,” he groaned. “Yeah, yeah, take me. Fuck, so good, I can’t-- Ride it, ride it! Fuck, Ben!” He keened as he came hard, his body jerking where he was pinned.
“Oh fuck--!” Ben cried, his body shuddering hard as the tightness suddenly became overwhelming. Two more thrusts and he was gone, his eyes nearly rolling in his head as white-hot pleasure hit him like a punch, then shook him like a rag doll. His whole body sagged forward when the last of it drained away, shivers of aftershock racing up his spine.
Even without Ben on top of him, Jesse couldn’t have moved to save his life. He felt the tingle of numbness spreading in his right leg and a twinge in his back, but they were just background noise to the bonelessness spreading through him.
“You’re still gonna respect me in the morning, right?” Jesse said with a lazy, half-lidded smile.
“Dunno, man. You have a mouth like a dirty whore,” Ben mumbled against his collarbone, his lips twisting in a faint smirk. “I feel like I should go see a priest.”
Jesse let out a breath of a laugh, though inwardly the Church was the last thing he wanted to be thinking about right then. “Well I know where your cock’s been and it’s a whole lot dirtier than my mouth,” he teased.
“Have you heard yourself?” Ben replied, pulling back enough to look at him and grin crookedly. “Though maybe I shouldn’t go to a priest. He might want some himself. Then I’d have to kill him, and that’s just a showstopper.”
That got a real laugh, Jesse’s hand playing along the planes of Ben’s shoulders. “I think you killing priests would top my dirty mouth on the ‘bad’ scale.”
“I think I’ve done enough topping for the day, thank you,” Ben snickered. His eyes fell closed for a moment, taking simple pleasure in the sensation of being touched, breathing slowly through it.
“Shower?”
“Mm, maybe when I have legs again,” Jesse said, sinking further into the chair. “These jelly things attached to my torso aren’t really good for standing.”
“I’ll try and save you some water,” Ben said, finally easing free and pulling back, but not before kissing him. Then he sauntered through the bathroom door, leaving it wide open.
Jesse’s eyes followed him, feeling hollower and hollower the farther Ben got. He’d demanded Jesse say he loved him. The scary thing was, Jesse thought it might be true. He didn’t know what to do with that. The longer he stayed with Ben and Claire, the more his very being seemed to be tangled in them. He didn’t think he’d ever been happier, or more afraid.
What he did know was that sitting there, he felt utterly alone.
Not really caring that he could hardly feel his legs, Jesse got to his feet and headed for the bathroom.