Thomas "TJ" Dixon (thomashammond) wrote in spinningcompass, @ 2014-01-27 19:12:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | !closed, ~bruce banner, ~peggy carter, ~tj hammond |
Who: TJ Hammond
Where: The hospital
What: TJ's arrival
When: Monday afternoon
Rating: High for topic
Open: To Peggy and Bruce and maybe Steve
Status: Ongoing partially gdoced
It was a hospital room just like any other. The heart monitor beeped and there was the sound of the machine that sent the oxygen into the tube under his nose. He'd heard his mother reading to him. His brother cursing him. His grandmother begging him to be okay and his father berating him. He knew Bud was the one that found him. Everything was quiet now, though. As quiet as a hospital room could be, anyway. He heard people talking outside his room but he couldn't quite regain consciousness. Everything was fuzzy and like it was behind a dark curtain. He could wake up later. --- Peggy was tearful having come back from seeing Tony and to make sure he was eating. She’d dropped off a box of shortbread and some sandwiches to him and the other people in the hospital. She sniffed and got her emotions in order, ready to get to work when she spotted a horribly familiar face out of the corner of her eye, down the end of the corridor. Peggy’s eyes bugged out when she saw Bucky’s face on a man lying in a bed. She ran down to his room and wondered what the hell was going on. “James? Bucky wake up; it’s me!” she muttered into his ear. --- TJ had no idea who the woman was. He didn't recognize the voice. And he certainly wasn't this Bucky person. He tried to open his eyes. To tell her she was mistaken, but he just couldn't. His eyelids felt like weights were attached to them. He just couldn't wake up. --- Peggy sighed when he didn’t wake up and her heart plummeted. Where was Rachel? Who was looking after him? She pulled out the folder from the end of the bed and frowned when it said… “Thomas James Hammond?” she said aloud. “Not Bucky.” she sat down next to the bed. This boy had their Bucky’s face but there was still nobody looking after him? She tugged the blanket up over him and frowned at how little there was in the room. --- That's it. There was his name. She must have read his chart. He tried to open his eyes again. Where was his mom? She'd been there earlier. Maybe something had come up. She would only leave if it was really important. But she wouldn't have left him alone. Maybe Nana was getting some coffee or something. He managed a soft groan, but still couldn't get his eyes to open. --- Peggy read through his file slowly, taking in the information. Cocaine overdose? That would be hard for him to handle on the island, if he was a regular addict. She’d never liked drugs or what they made you do and this wasn’t exactly selling them to her. She put his file back and put her hand on his own. “Thomas?” she said softly, “If you can hear me, my name is Peggy Carter. Squeeze my fingers if you can.” --- TJ. My name is TJ, he thought. Couldn't get the words to come out, though. The woman must have been a nurse. A new one. He wondered if the secret service had cleared her. He tried to squeeze her hand. To let her know he could hear her. His fingers barely twitched against hers. Almost imperceptibly. --- Peggy grinned when she felt his fingers twitch upon her request. “Oh thank goodness.” she said softly, “I’m sorry for getting your name wrong but a friend of mine could be your identical twin. I thought you were him and well.. I’m sorry.” she patted his hand, “When you wake up, I’ll have to introduce you to him.” --- He knew what it was like to have a twin but not an identical one. That would be interesting. He tried again to squeeze her hand, fingers only slightly twitching again. Where was his mom? She should be there. She'd been there. Another soft groan escaped his lips. Why was it so hard to get his eyes open? --- “Shhh…” she said softly, reaching up and smoothing the hair from his eyes, “Don’t force yourself to wake up, they’re all working on AJ.” Peggy felt bad for the kid, in part. She knew his pain was self inflicted but he seemed so much younger than Bucky, looking at him close up. She’d be able to tell when she saw his eyes, heard his voice. --- Who the hell was AJ? And why weren't there enough doctors to check on him too? What was going on? He didn't fight it, though. His hand twitched one more time but he relaxed. Just let his eyes stay closed. They'd open when he was ready. He did try to remember what happened, though. How had he ended up in the hospital in the first place? --- Peggy picked up the file again, happy that the boy had relaxed back. “It says you’ve been taking drugs here.” she said softly, reading, “There’ll be none of that here, I assure you. That might be a source of freedom to you but we don’t have drugs on the island.” she muttered, mostly to herself. “But we’ll look after you now, assuming nobody here knows who you are.” --- The island? What island? Had his parents sent him away? Is that why his mom wasn't there? They'd carted him off to some weird rehab facility? His hand twitched again. What was going on? --- Peggy put the file back, “It’s hard to explain where you are, beyond ‘in a hospital’. It’s rather, bizarre, I suppose.” she looked around the room and spotted a spare blanket for him so she grabbed it and draped it over the kid’s body. “I’m sorry you were left here like this. It’s not right.” --- Though he couldn't get his eyes to open, a tear rolled down his cheek. He wanted his mom, or his grandma, or even his dad. Some kind of sign that he hadn't been shipped off and abandoned by his family. --- “Oh no.” She muttered and pulled her handkerchief from her handbag, standing over him and dabbing tenderly at his cheek. “It’ll be okay. I promise… this could be the best thing for you. Whatever force brings us here does so for good reason. That’s all I’ve learnt.” --- A good reason, yeah. Like his family not wanting him around anymore. They obviously thought he was too much trouble. Too hard to deal with anymore. Another tear rolled down his cheek as his eyelids started to flutter. His fingers twitched again. He needed to wake up. --- “Oh sweetheart.” Peggy dabbed at the new tears, “I’m being a stupid, insensitive jerk, aren’t I? I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what to do or how to help him. “Wake up and I’ll explain it to you best I can.” --- He groaned again, this time a little more loudly. His eyelids continued to flutter and the heart monitor sped up. He needed to wake up to find out what was going on. --- “You can do it.” She said softly, sitting back down but putting her hand on his. “I have some spare homemade cookies here. All yours.” she joked. --- Cookies. He didn't really want cookies. He wanted answers. It took everything he had but he finally managed to get his fingers around hers. A few minutes after that, his eyes came open very slowly. The room was bright and everything was blurry. He winced and started blinking, hoping to clear his vision. --- “Hi.” she chuckled, leaning back in relief, “Be careful there.” Peggy patted his hand, “How are you feeling?” --- He blinked a few more times before turning to look at her. He'd definitely never seen her before. "Feel like shit." It came out a hoarse whisper. He closed his eyes again, this time just to get some relief from the harsh lighting. "Don't call me Thomas." --- “What’s your name then?” she asked, reaching for the light switch and dimming the bulb before fetching him some water. “Did you hear my name?” --- "You're Peggy." He cleared his throat. He opened his eyes again and relaxed a little at the dimmed lights. "Everybody calls me TJ. Only Nana calls me Thomas." And he would make sure it stayed that way. --- She nodded and put the cup to his lips, “Alright, TJ.” she made a note about his full name. “Sip slowly.” Peggy instructed, waiting for him to drink before she asked something else. “Where do you last remember being?” --- TJ lifted his head just enough to take a drink before laying back again. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember. "Office at my club." He cleared his throat. It was starting to come back to him. The fight with his parents. Going up to the office and getting wasted. That had to be how he'd ended up there. --- Peggy let him sip before putting the cup on the side, “Whatever you think happened, however you think you got here, you’re wrong.” she cleared her own throat, “You’re in a hospital on an island that doesn’t exist. You’re not dead, we’re all lost here. There’s about a hundred of us here, in various places. But my point is that you were taken from your home and put here by the island.” --- TJ laughed humorlessly. "Doug has come up with some elaborate bullshit in the past to get me into rehab but this takes the cake." He started to sit up. "How much is he paying you?" --- Peggy chuckled, “I hope it’s not a joke because I met my boyfriend here.” She pulled up her purse, “My name is Margaret Carter, though if you call me that, I’ll disown you already.” she teased, “I was born on April 5th, 1917 on a farm in the Cotswolds in England.” she pulled out her photograph, a grainy black and white one of her and her father just before she left for war. “I was taken from 1942 and I woke up here about 10 months ago.” she showed him the picture. --- He took the picture and looked at it. He shook his head and handed it back. "You're good. Mom and Dad must be adding to your salary. No way Dougie could afford this all on his own." He looked around. "I get it, okay? I fucked up. I've learned my lesson, I promise." --- “Yes you did, according to your chart but that doesn’t change anything.” She said, leaning back again, “You still are here, separated from your family permanently. This place doesn’t exist anywhere in time and space, it’s like limbo.” she placed her picture back. --- TJ shook his head. "No." He pulled the tubes from his nose and tried to get up. Yes, his head started to spin but he didn't care just then. He needed to get out of there. He unhooked the heart monitor and started to remove the IV from his hand. He was shaking. There was no way any of it was true. --- “No, no, no…” Peggy tried to calm him down, revealing her baby bump, “Calm down there, kid. You’re still not well enough to move and I don’t want to have to get the doctor to sedate you.” --- "I have to get out of here." He winced as he pulled the IV out, not caring that his hand was now bleeding. "Mom!" TJ called. "Mom, I'm sorry! I'll, clean up. I promise. Mom!" His voice started to shake. There he was, thirty years old and calling out for his mother. He didn't care how pathetic it sounded. --- “Shhhh, shhh.” Peggy stroked his head and grabbed some tissues to stop the bleeding, “I know, it’s horrible being here.” her heart broke for him, “I haven’t seen my mother in nearly eight years,” she said sadly. “I won’t ever see her again. Just calm down, TJ.” --- He sat back down on the bed but only because he felt like he was going to fall over. "I have to go home. Nana needs me. I'm the only one that'll make her drinks for her." He took deep breaths as he started to deal nauseated. "I....they need me...." --- “They do, I promise you that they do need you but there’s nothing we can do about that now.” she said calmly, “I’m so sorry, TJ.” she wished so much to take the pain away. “We can’t get them back, it’s not up to us.” --- TJ laid back down, curling up on his side. This had to be some form of punishment. He wouldn't be surprised if his dad was behind it. He closed his eyes as tight as he could. He felt like he was going to be sick. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." He just keep saying it over and over again, hoping that it would make everything okay. --- “Shh.” she rubbed his arm and back slowly, trying to calm him down, “Don’t think about that now, TJ. You just need to concentrate on getting better, letting the doctors take care of you. You can have your own space here, get things sorted out in your head.” --- "I don't want my own space. I want my room at my mom's house. I want to go home." He kept his eyes shut tight. He knew if he opened them, he'd throw up. --- “I know.” she went to the sink and wet a cloth quickly, dabbing it on his forehead, “If you don’t want to live alone, that’s okay. We’ll find the place where you feel best.” --- He opened his eyes to look at her and just as he suspected, a wave of nausea hit him. He start to get up, trying to get to the bathroom before he lost it. --- She heard the gagging and looked around for something, “Hold it right there…” she rubbed her side as she got up and fetched a few of those cardboard bowls they used for nauseated patients. “In here.” --- He was about to argue but knew he'd never make it. He grabbed the bowl just in time, emptying what little he had in his stomach. When it finally felt safe to do so, he lay back on the bed, shivering. He felt absolutely horrible and thought only part of that was because of the overdose. He wanted to go home, plain and simple. --- Peggy rubbed his back and discarded the bowl when he was done, “It’s alright.” she whispered, “Just lie on your side, it’ll be better soon, promise.” she dabbed at his head with the cold cloth. That was what made her morning sickness better. --- “Probably better this way.” He sniffled. “Everything I put them through. All the bullshit…” He sighed. “Better off without me.” --- Peggy raised her eyebrow, “Now if you truly believed that, TJ, then you and I would really have to talk some.” she dabbed at his forehead. “You see, mothers never stop loving their children. They could be the worst person in the world and they will still love and forgive them. So, considering that what your transgressions are are not quite your fault, I’m certain that your mother will always love you.” she smiled at him. --- He sniffled. “Last conversation we had was an argument. She told me that I was stupid for being involved in the nightclub. She and my dad. Neither of them ever believed in me.” He closed his eyes. “So why should it matter that I’m gone?” --- “It matters to them because it matters to you.” She said pointedly, still keeping up her tender care, “If you care, they care. Stupid arguments don’t mean anything to true love and good hearts.” --- He kept his eyes closed and just laid there. He didn’t know what else to say. He wanted to be home with his mom yelling at him telling him he’d been stupid for overdosing. With Doug giving him that disappointed look. Even that would be better than the possibility of never seeing them again. --- “I’m sorry, TJ. I hope you find a way back to them.” She cleared her throat, thinking of her own family, her grandmother, parents and baby brother. She really missed her Mum, especially now Peggy had children of her own. “You can stay with me and my partner, if you want? When you’re well enough to come out.” --- He just shrugged and curled up on his side again, clearing his throat. “Whatever.” He sniffled, rubbing at his eyes. “I need something to drink.” He knew he’d only get water but he needed something stronger. --- Peggy put down the flannel and picked up the water, “Careful when you sit up.” she muttered. --- TJ nodded and shifted so that he could sit up enough to take a drink of water. It felt good going down his raw throat, but he wanted a burn, not the coolness of the water. He then lay back down and sighed. “I’m really stuck here, aren’t I?” --- “If it makes you feel better,” Peggy muttered, helping him sip the cold water. “We’re all stuck in the same boat. Or on the same island, if you like.” --- “Yeah, doesn’t really help all that much.” He sighed. “But thanks for trying.” --- “Well, one has to try.” Peggy chuckled, “You should rest. I’ll find a doctor to come take better care of you than I can. I’m not even a nurse.” she smiled, getting up. --- “Thanks.” He sighed, then looked at her. “Really. I know I haven’t exactly been that grateful but…..thank you.” He nodded. --- “It’s nothing,” she smiled warmly, “Do you need anything else?” Peggy asked. --- TJ shook his head. “I’m fine.” He nodded, curling up on his side again. |