Anthony Edward Barton-Stark (aedwardstark) wrote in spinningcompass, @ 2016-12-16 23:11:00 |
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Tony wasn't sure why the anniversary hit him so hard this year. Since arriving at the island, he'd had his anniversary with AJ to distract him from thinking about the day. It was amazing to think that he and AJ had already been together for four years. Four years that he was happy enough on the 15th to forget about what happened on the 16th. He had his spouses and his kids and everything was going really well. And yet there he was, sitting in the pub with a glass of scotch in front of him, thinking about his parents. He'd been staring at the same glass of scotch since he'd gotten there. Of course he'd waited until after all the kids were asleep before leaving the house. The first thought that struck him was how much his mom would have loved the decorations. The snow and all the lights that blinked in time with whatever music played. The reindeer and even Santa himself. His mother would have been beside herself with glee. He'd had her back in his life briefly on a couple of occasions here on the island. Maybe that's why he was able to forget about the past. Forget about what this day meant. Or maybe he just let himself forget because he didn't want to deal with that pain. But today, he couldn't forget. Twenty five years ago today, his parents were taken from him. It was the worst Christmas of his life. He remembered it like it was yesterday. He remembered Jarvis just standing there quietly as Tony tore through the presents under the tree. As he'd ripped the decorations off. Destroyed everything that represented the happy holiday. Everything except for the ornament that his mother had made herself when he was younger. He made sure that one stayed safe. He wrapped his fingers around the glass but just kept staring at it. Was it really worth throwing away his sobriety because of a memory that he couldn't change? He was back to years sober rather than just months or days. He cleared his throat and just kept staring at the amber liquid, wondering if he had the will power to push the glass away. |