“No, I didn't.” She knows they've been together long enough to consider them a unit, even though most people have never met Ethan. Eleven years, though. That feels like a lifetime. For a lot of them, it is.
“It's hard — so hard. I know.” And she feels so guilty for every time she's made Michael worry when she doesn't come home from this or that rally or protest on time, when she can't get to a phone, when he has to come bail her out of jail because she got in a fight with a cop pepper spraying teenage hippies. She never forgets the way he looked at her after the first riot at Stonewall, the terror and pain there. “Does he want to?”
— get married, she means. Not get arrested. Or riot.