Lee struggles to express emotion; even if she feels things — and they're usually dull and far away, like looking at a picture someone else drew — it doesn't always show on her placid face, and she can never put it into words. Whatever she writes in her journal, she's never shared with him, or with anyone. She thought it was a fluency thing, but her English gets better every month and her language still isn't improving. It's frustrating to be on the other side of that wall.