My mother was nicer. She called me by name and never referred to me as 'it'. But she still... was part of it. Maybe that's a maternal instinct. She still does awful things but she treats me like a person while she does it. It's not like I have anything to compare to, all my vaguely parental figures since then are men.
Maybe Does anyone else want to just sit in a bar for very low key drinks or something?