InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Audrey Jensen (fknaudrey) wrote in somerealityweb,
@ 2019-06-16 23:00:00

Entry tags:

inactive: jughead jones, inactive: stiles stilinski

Rule of Horror #81: Always ask why the house is being sold so cheap.

I'd consider $200 rent falling into that category, which puts us potentially in the supernatural sub-genre, particularly the sub-sub-genre dealing with entities rather than creatures. Among the surprisingly short list of paranormal horror films set in New York City is Rosemary's Baby, Dark Water, and the Devil's Advocate, as well as Dario Argento's 1980 cult classic Inferno which, due to its connections to Suspiria and the not-really-a-twist ending, could also be considered paranormal.

So here are my questions: Has anyone checked the water tank and has anyone found any strange old books written in Italian yet?

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	buffy_summers 2019-06-19 01:47 am UTC (link)
	Exactly! Someone is just going to light themselves on fire or summon a demon that makes everyone speak in limericks until they melt. Apocalypses is it actually. I would have thought it'd be more dramatic, but nope. Way to let me down, dictionaries. It's like they don't even know my needs. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fknaudrey 2019-06-19 01:00 pm UTC (link)
	And I thought accidentally summoning murderous hillbilly ghosts was bad. Limericks? That's torture. What do you think the collective noun for apocalypses is? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	buffy_summers 2019-06-20 01:18 am UTC (link)
	We had a musical demon once. He made everyone sing and dance their emotions and secrets until they spontaneously combusted. ..And he wanted to marry my underage sister. ...Wait, you summoned murderous hillbilly ghosts? I've always been afraid to look. I feel like I'll just be disappointed all over again. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fknaudrey
2019-06-20 07:37 am UTC (link)

~~Once More With Feeling is classic.~~ No, no. I've never summoned anything except a strong sense of shame after eating an entire pizza on my own. The hillbilly ghosts thing is from a movie. Cabin in the Woods? It's got a really good premise. Basically, the governmental Powers That Be have this quasi-game show-style setup where unsuspecting campers find themselves alone in a cabin in the woods and trigger a specific horror trope at random which will eventually murder them all as a sacrifice to a world-ending eldritch horror. And the sacrifices are meant to keep the eldritch horror from ending the world. Except, in good horror movie fashion, it all goes tits up in the end.

Which I suspect is more like an average Tuesday for you.

Personally, the only hillbilly I know is my Uncle John, who lives in a cabin in the bayou and hunts alligators for a living.

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buffy_summers
2019-06-21 12:43 am UTC (link)

I too have had that shame. It's a heavy burden for those of us that have committed such crimes. Sigh.
I don't think I've seen that one. Maybe it was after my time?

Get out of my head! Seriously, it does sound like something that would wind up on my schedule. Not like it's any stranger than a dream I had about some lettuce head kids last week...

I've slain a few hillbilly vampires, so I think that's pretty close to ghost hillbillies. Both undead at least.

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fknaudrey
2019-06-21 01:03 am UTC (link)

Maybe. I don't seem to have it on my laptop, but we could always see if there's a video store around here. Or a Redbox kiosk. Or something. Get you caught up. I wonder if they have Netflix here...

Wow. That's an intensely weird dream.

Are vampires easier to get rid of than ghosts? I've always said they were - more to the point, really - but if anyone would know, you would.

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buffy_summers
2019-06-21 01:16 am UTC (link)

Hey, I'm always good for a movie night. Apparently I have over a decade worth of movies to catch up on. Netflix is where you get dvds in the mail, isn't it?

Kind of tame actually. But if I start seeing lettuce head kids in town, I'm quitting.

Depends on the situation. If you get stuck with a dumb vamp or are prepared, a nice wooden pencil can fix that real fast. Ghosts can be harder, sometimes you have to do specific things to get rid of them. But a really smart or evil vamp can be a thorn in your side for at least a few months. Like, say, Dracula. He's harder to get rid of than a ghost and glitter.

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fknaudrey
2019-06-21 01:42 am UTC (link)

You can still get Netflix through the mail, yeah, but it's mostly through the internet or certain gaming consoles with an internet connection now. If my subscription still works here, I can hook you up. If not, maybe there's one last errant Blockbuster around here somewhere.

Oh man. You missed Twilight. Imagine... glitter vampires. Teenage glitter vampires. Who don't burst into flames in sunlight - no, they sparkle in sunlight - and attend highschool like the rest of us. The most terrifying.

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buffy_summers
2019-06-21 06:42 am UTC (link)

God, I'm still trying to get used to this stuff. I nearly broke my phone this morning because of all the touch screen stuff. However we get the movies, sign me up. A good movie night sounds normal and I think some of us need that to destress from the situation. ...Wait, last Blockbuster? Did they close down?!

.........Are you kidding me? That has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of. Hummus attack makes more sense. And why the hell would you go back to high school if you're a vampire? Detention fetish? Who greenlit that? A drunken monkey? Why would they sparkle? What's the point?

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fknaudrey
2019-06-21 06:47 am UTC (link)

First paycheck I get I'm buying a projector and we can just set up in a big room somewhere and go through every movie I have on my laptop. But yeah, Blockbuster went out of business. There are a couple of stay shops that were independently owned and were allowed to stay open, but video stores, in general, are going the way of the dinosaurs.

It was a Mormon allegory born from a middle-aged woman's sexual fantasies about teenagers who weren't actually teenagers because they were hundred-year-old immortal vampires so see it's totally not creepy at all. And they only drank animal blood. So they were super moral heroes. It was dumb as shit and sold millions of copies and millions of movie tickets. And then it spun off into tremendously shitty and offensive softcore BDSM erotica.

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	buffy_summers 2019-06-21 06:55 am UTC (link)
	Wow. I would have thought it was going to be around after my generation of old age. I'll miss the independent shops. They were kind of cozy in a familiar kind of way. ...I think that may be the darkest timeline I've ever heard of. Are you sure someone didn't turn your reality into a hell dimension? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fknaudrey
2019-06-21 06:59 am UTC (link)

They were, yeah. We still had a video shop back home. It was a little mom and pop joint, run by an old lady and one of her grandkids. We used to give them our extra posters and promotional material from the theater that we'd normally just throw away so they could sell them.

So listen. David Bowie died. And we're pretty sure his death broke the timeline cause everything went straight to shit after that. But Twilight and Fifty Shades both happened before that, so who knows?

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	buffy_summers 2019-06-22 01:13 am UTC (link)
	Oh that sounds cool. Maybe we can find a place like that here. I mean, it is New York. Kind of. ...We lost Bowie???? Oh god, Now I know the world went to hell. The glitter vamps were probably harbingers of doom. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fknaudrey 2019-06-22 01:58 pm UTC (link)
	You never know. Bowie, yeah. And Prince. And Lou Reed. And Whitney Huston. ... And Lemmy and Scott Weiland and like way more that I'm not remembering off the top of my head. It's been a bad decade for music. But just be grateful you haven't caught up to Justin Beiber yet because the ones that are still making music are worse than the ones that aren't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	buffy_summers 2019-06-23 12:19 am UTC (link)
	....Seriously? I can't even imagine the music scene without hearing their names. Next thing I know, you'll be telling me New Kids on the Block made a comeback. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fknaudrey 2019-06-23 05:50 pm UTC (link)
	I wouldn't call it a comeback. But they went on a reunion tour with... Backstreet Boys? One of those. I guess it was kind of a big deal? They're both a little before my time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	buffy_summers 2019-06-23 11:31 pm UTC (link)
	.....The world is broken and I don't think I can fix that much damage. I may actually need to invoke the w-word if I want any hope in saving the world now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fknaudrey 2019-06-23 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	The w-word? ...Yeah, nope, everything that comes to mind is Harry Potter related. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	buffy_summers 2019-06-23 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	Ohh, basically I just mean invoking a vengeance demon and saying the dreaded "I w-i-s-h..." phrase and then letting the dust settle when they grant it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fknaudrey 2019-06-24 09:23 am UTC (link)
	Ooooh. Yeah, you gotta be careful with those. It's all about the phrasing and fine print. Might want to have a lawyer look over your wish before you submit it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	buffy_summers 2019-06-25 02:48 am UTC (link)
	I thought about doing that. If anyone can make sure the wording is perfect, it's a lawyer. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fknaudrey 2019-06-26 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	It's really the best way to ensure that everything is perfect. If I learned anything from the ending of Aladdin it's that you gotta pay attention to that wording. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	buffy_summers 2019-06-26 02:23 pm UTC (link)
	What's that saying.. um.. "The devil is in the detail" or something. Pretty much sums up how anyone should treat wishes. It would really make it easier on the rest of us. (Reply to this) (Parent)

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