Vanya | Five
I had no idea most of that was going on. It's not like anyone bothered to try calling me or anything
After Dad's funeral, after you left... life went on as usual. I had rehearsal, I had lessons. That's when I met Leonar Harold Jenkins. He was a little intense, but seemed nice? I wasn't planning on getting to know him any more than I do any of my students but then...
I don't know. I tried to talk to Helen, the violin first chair, and she just cut me down. Said I wasn't good enough to progress. Suggested I quit playing all-together. And I just needed to talk to someone who thought I was good, you know? I needed an ego boost and just, like... someone to believe in me for a minute. And it's not like I could go to any of you the others for that. Every time I leave the Academy, I feel a little bit smaller and like I matter less than I did when I walked in. So I went to his store because he was a nice, alright looking guy who for some inexplicable reason seemed to be interested in me. And he invited me out for a meal and didn't press for more than I was willing to give him at first and...
I don't know. I really don't know, Five. I should have known that he had ulterior motives because no one is interested in me for me.
I should have known better. Maybe if I hadn't been so willing to... throw myself at the first person who shows me a little speck of kindness, none of it would have happened. Maybe you still would have been stuck in the future, but it wouldn't have been a wasteland. Maybe I'd still be happily ignorant about my powers and drugged to the point where I can't feel anything.