InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Do you hear the people sing?"

Gred (George Weasley) (halfthere) wrote in somerealityrpg,
@ 2019-11-27 19:13:00

Entry tags:

inactive: bill weasley, inactive: george weasley

WHO: george and bill weasley
WHERE: a bar
WHEN: this evening
WARNINGS: angst, depression, most likely talks of death, being drunk
SPOILERS? only if you've never read harry potter

Nail bit into the discolored wood of the table as he stared at his near-empty pint glass. Was it his third or his fourth? George wasn't sure right now and that was sort of what he wanted. He really wanted to blackout and just not remember anything for a while. Was that so wrong? A loud bang in the bar had him tensing up as he jerked his gaze from the pint glass to look at his older brother with wide eyes.

Bar, they were in a bar.

There wasn't a battle.

George reached up to run a shaky hand through his hair as he forced a smile. The normal mischief in his eyes was gone, replaced by a constant sadness that sometimes bubbled with moments of near happiness. Tonight was not one of those moments. It was far from it and he knew he had to start talking at some point.

"I told Hugo I wouldn't do the whole spoiler thing," he finally managed to mumble. "Didn't think it would smart as much when Teddy fucking Lupin didn't tell me who he was. Maybe I should tell mum who I am? I mean now I feel like a git for talking to Teddy this whole time and not knowing who he was, but he knew who I was. He just assumed-" George paused as if someone else was going to say something and then rushed to continue talking like he hadn't done that. "Just bloody assumed I was from before he was born. I'm tired, Bill. I just want to be actually able to sleep tonight and you getting me right sloshed is going to help with that."

Without thinking he made a playing card appear so he could flick it between his fingers in a nervous manner. He let out a loud sigh. "Maybe I should just focus on the bloody store and not worry about life."

He knew he was being a tad dramatic, but somehow talking to Teddy had made him feel like he was suffocating for the moment. Thank Merlin Bill was around now. He didn't want to unleash his moods on Hugo, not when Hugo was struggling in this place already.

"We need another round," he stated before downing the rest of his pint in on go. He slammed the glass on the table with a faint face.

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cool_dad
2019-11-28 01:07 am UTC (link)

Bill remembered these nights (and sometimes days) well. It wasn't that long ago that they'd stopped, in the grand scheme of things, and he wasn't sure if the change had come from him or from George now that he had time to think about it. Sitting here like this—his chair close enough to make contact easy, one hand braced on the back of George's, and empty glasses on the table top—brought back all kinds of memories. The whole family ached, they all leaned on each other to get through the hard days, but they didn't dare lean on George. Even on the hardest days, Bill had pushed down his own feelings to be there for his brother, no questions asked, joined him for a pint or a walk (more likely to be a pint). He was fairly certain a good brother wouldn't let George drink this much.

He wasn't that good of a brother.

"I haven't talked to Mum yet, either. We can do it together if you'd like." This spoiler business felt like rubbish, really. Like those further in the future didn't trust them enough. This place was already a complete mind trip, what was one more thing? And then, as George had pointed out, it hurt to discover.

Sighing, he brought his own glass to his lips and finished it. He was one behind, but he didn't think George had noticed. "I don't think you'd be happy with that plan, not in the long run. And I know it's a meaningless platitude, but I've seen that it gets better. For all of us. Not like it was before, but it doesn't feel like this forever." Raising two fingers at the bartender, he requested another round. "I'm not saying that to rush you into it. It doesn't work like that. Things are going to be shite and then slightly less shite, and then the worst day will be hiding right behind a good one. But on the whole..."

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halfthere
2019-11-28 05:43 pm UTC (link)

It gets better.

What a bunch of shite.

George groaned faintly as he leaned his head against his brother's shoulder. He saw the look of hurt in his family's eyes. He was the reminder of what they lost. Each time he looked in the mirror he saw what he lost as well. Being in his flat back home had been rough because it was like a reminder of Fred over and over. Being at the Burrow was the same. Everywhere he turned it was a nasty slap in the face of the fact he was missing half his soul. It wasn't fair! Fred and him were supposed to be together, not apart like this.

"What would I even tell mum? Hi. I'm your son, but only half of a pair. Sorry, mum." He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as he tried to shove down the wave of emotions that wanted to spill out his eyes.

"I want to blame Teddy, but I know it isn't fair. The twat didn't know he was going to rip my bleeding heart out. Is this what I am doing to other people? Acting like an arse. Sirius and James know who I am... but haven't talked much to em lately."

George's manner of speaking was all over the place. Long pauses, quick scrambles to make up for those moments, and overall just obvious he was used to someone else throwing words in when he spoke.

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cool_dad
2019-11-28 06:16 pm UTC (link)

Letting George lean against him, Bill wrapped his arm around him and held firm. Nothing so distracting as constant rubbing, just a tight hold that assured George he was wanted. The weirdest part in his mind was that Fred could still show up from everything he was beginning to understand about this place. Not that they didn't already have people here who were dead in the future, but Fred felt particularly strange to have to explain it to. If they chose that path. "If he weren't gone back home, you'd still be here as half a pair. We're both only 2/7ths. And neither of us is Ginny," he finished lightly, nudging his brother. "I don't think you have to tell her our whole life history the first time you meet her."

He let George sort of meander, waiting a moment to see if maybe he'd finished his thought. This was heartbreakingly familiar. He didn't know he was saving Hugo from the experience, but he would have been glad to. The kids (even if they were nearly the same age) didn't need to see this version of their uncle. "None of us is perfect, yea? They don't cover how to act when you find yourself in this kind of situation, and if they had, you would have skipped it."

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halfthere
2019-11-28 11:21 pm UTC (link)

That was a valid point. If Fred was still alive... George pursed his lips into a line before raising a hand to draw the attention of the bar back. He held up two fingers to indicate two more pints. Once the order was made he found himself leaning against his brother more.

"I don't want to talk about Fr-" He flicked his empty glass with the playing card as he struggled for a moment. "We can talk about Fred later."

A startled snort of laughter escaped him. He elbowed Bill slightly in the side as he couldn't deny he would have, in fact, skipped a class covering this sort of situation. George and Fred had skipped plenty of classes by flying out of Hogwarts. George didn't actually hate learning, he just hated being stuck in classes without freedom. Thank Merlin he was done with Hogwarts.

"What is wrong with me?" He flashed the waitress a smile as she dropped of the pints and took the empties. George picked up his fresh pint and downed half of it without pause.

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cool_dad
2019-11-29 02:17 am UTC (link)

"We can talk about him later," Bill agreed amicably. "It's not like there's not plenty else." Though in the depths of grief, it didn't always feel that way. In an emergency, he could distract George with baby photos, but he'd rather not.

The sudden shifts in mood were normal, too, and he found himself grinning along as George laughed. The idea was slightly ludicrous, but that had been the point of it. Anything to put a little bump in the mood.

"What makes you think something's wrong with you?" There was never a point in denying it outright, that could be argued against. Better to get into specifics and dismantle it. Because there was nothing wrong with George except that he couldn't see that. Watching him down his drink, Bill slid his own a little further out of reach.

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halfthere
2019-11-29 09:25 pm UTC (link)

"I feel...blank," he stated in a morose tone. George set his half-full pint down as he let out a long sigh. "Half of me is missing, Bill. It is like I am watching my life go on around me, but I can barely pull myself to the surface of my mind to actually care. How am I to do this alone?"

He slumped forward so he could rest his cheek against the table. Cool wood met flesh as he stared at his brother. He knew that Bill was there for him, but it was hard to grasp that at the same time. Emotions and logic didn't want to play nice in his head. "He was taken from me," he whined out in a slightly slurred tone. George became a bit more open about his pain when he was a little too far in the cups. "He'd be so upset with me if he saw me now. A mess. Fred was about pranks and smiles, okay and being a bit of a git- but I'm just..."

He hiccuped slightly and let out a string of swear words that were peppered with more rude words. "All these people showing up and-" His hand came up to grip the clock hand he wore on a chain around his neck. "What if he shows up? What if I can't handle it? What if-" Another loud hiccup and George was sitting up to finish off his beer. He set the empty glass down as he shifted to rest his head on Bill's shoulder again.

Goodland was a curse and a blessing.

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cool_dad
2019-11-29 11:54 pm UTC (link)

The other boys might have felt a sting at the suggestion George was alone, but Bill understood what he meant. There were different levels of alone, and Bill wasn't offended. "It's only just happened for you, George. I think he'd understand that." A warm hand clasped the back of George's neck, tugging him closer gently. "You're being too hard on yourself." It was making him hurt worse, which in turn hurt the whole family. But he didn't need that kind of guilt trip. "It's not that something's wrong with you. You're grieving."

Bill rested his head against George's briefly, lowering his voice a little. "You'll handle it if he shows up. And if you can't, I will. That's what I'm here for."

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