Who: Michael Guerin and Maria DeLuca What: A serious conversation Where: Maria's apartment When: after this Warnings: spoilers for Roswell NM Status: complete gdoc
This was a terrible idea on so many levels. Michael was seriously tempted to leave the building and go find a hole in the wall bar to hide in with copious amounts of alcohol. The city was big enough that Maria probably wouldn’t be able to find him. Probably. Then again, she was vaguely psychic and maybe she would find him. It probably wasn’t worth the risk.
He’d been thinking about telling her everything. That was a big part of the reason he showed up at the Wild Pony after Max healed his hand. The problem was that he had no idea how to begin the conversation. Honestly, he’d been kind of hoping she would ask about his hand and he could use it as an opening. Maybe that made him a coward, but nothing about his feelings for Maria made much sense.
Sure, he still loved Alex, always would, like he told Isobel. That love was wrapped up in pain though, mired in far too many unpleasant memories, and he honestly wasn’t sure it was something he could move past, especially now that Alex’s father was responsible for the death of the mother Michael never got to know.
Could he say he loved Maria? Not yet, but there was something undeniable between them and part of him wanted to explore that. He understood her hesitations though, wouldn’t want to do anything that would actively harm Alex in spite of everything, and knew that he couldn’t begin to think about embarking on a relationship with someone who didn’t know the truth. When he told her that he hated secrets, he was being honest. They were a necessary part of his life for the past two decades and he hated them.
Michael decided to take a shower and change his clothes before going to knock on Maria’s door. His curls were still damp and his feet were bare when he finally knocked. There didn’t seem to be much of a point in putting on shoes to walk five feet, so he was just wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
***
Maria wasn’t sure what was going on with Michael. She couldn’t deny that she was a little worried - not for herself, but for him. He was keeping secrets, of that she had no doubt. And knowing how much he hated them she knew it had to be something serious. So what secrets did Michael have? What affect would they have on this...whatever that was growing between them?
She still didn’t know what it was. Maria had never really been one for love. She’d never really been in love. She held her feelings too close, and she protected her heart. She didn’t trust men, not after how her father had broken her mother’s heart when he left. Alex had been different - he wasn’t a threat like men she was attracted to were, and he was the only one she’d ever let get through her walls, which was one reason she felt so terrible about what she’d inadvertently done to him.
For most of her life, she would have claimed to hate Michael Guerin, and for good reason. Only now, holding on to that pretense seemed ridiculous when the whole room seemed to light up every time she saw him. There was something in those messy curls and brown eyes that got to her every time, and it wasn’t just the ridiculously good sex they’d had that one time in the desert. He’d been there for her when she’d needed him. Not once, but almost consistently since that day. When things had been bad she’d turned around and Michael was there. And no man had ever been there for her like that before. She...kind of liked it. She kind of liked him, even if she refused to admit it to anyone, including herself. She was a strong woman who relied on herself, but that was exhausting. It had always been exhausting. And the idea that she might not have to go through her entire life on her own strength was...alluring.
And she was being ridiculous. She shook he head to dispel those thoughts just as she heard a knock on the door. She wasn’t going to spend this conversation...whatever it was about...pining or being a lovesick idiot. They’d have their physical attraction to deal with and that was hard enough.
She opened the door and smiled slightly, stepping out of the way.
“Come on in, Guerin.”
***
Michael managed something approximating a smile, running his newly healed hand through his hair as he stepped through the door into an apartment that was identical to the one he just left. This whole thing was still somehow weirder than anything he ever encountered, which was saying a lot since he was literally from another planet, but at the moment, his focus needed to be on this conversation.
Honestly, he had no idea what he was going to say. Part of him wanted to tell her everything. Completely unburden himself. He wasn’t sure he could actually do that though. He’d never actually told anyone his secret. Everyone who knew found out from someone else. What words did he even use? And how would she react to finding out all the things that were kept from her by so many people?
“Please tell me you have beer, DeLuca.”
***
“Of course,” she said, and headed towards the kitchen. Honestly, she was relieved to have something to do to take her mind off of whatever this conversation was. And Michael’s obvious nerves had just convinced her that it was something big, whatever it turned out to be. She grabbed a beer from the fridge and handed it to him, leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed. “Talk to me, Guerin,” she said. “I’m a bartender. I’ve heard it all. You can’t surprise me.”
She believed that, but something about this was making her incredibly nervous, and it was more than the fact that every cell in her body wanted to throw him on the table and have her way with him. She was an adult. She could control that if she had to.
“What’s this big secret of yours?”
***
It would be easy to just blurt it out. Just say the words ‘I’m an alien’ and leave it at that. Well, no doubt she’d have hundreds, if not thousands, of questions, but answering them would be far less complicated than trying to figure out what parts of his life were relevant. Michael knew that wasn’t fair though. There were plenty of things that were important for her to know that she likely wouldn’t think to ask.
He sighed. “Can we at least sit down?” he asked. “Because this might take a while.”
Unless she kicked him out immediately. Michael was trying to brace himself for that possibility too. Not that they’d ever really been friends, but he, Max, and Isobel had lied to her for years. More recently, Liz, Alex, and Kyle also kept things from her.
***
She just stared at him for a moment, getting more concerned by the second. Whatever this was, it was something big, and she was starting to get a bit worried.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, heading back to the living room and sitting on the big fluffy recliner with her legs tucked under her.
“I swear, Guerin, if you’re about to tell me that you’ve given me the clap or something, I’m going to kick your ass.”
She had to lighten it up, because this not talking was getting a bit too intense for her.
***
Michael laughed. “Trust me, DeLuca. That would be a much easier conversation.” It was obvious that she was nervous and he felt bad about that. He wasn’t even sure if he could get human diseases. Maybe Liz would be able to tell them more about their physiology.
Starting at the end seemed like it might make sense, so that’s what he decided to do. “You said you remember me coming in to the bar,” he said. “I came to talk to you. To tell you the truth.” Not that he had any more of a plan than that when he’d walked through the doors of the Wild Pony. “Didn’t get a chance though, because my brother’s a dumbass.” No matter what difficulties they’d had in the past, he was not going to easily get over Max’s death.
“To be fair, I did get a little distracted kissing you,” he admitted, one corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “And then playing guitar for the first time in a decade.”
***
“Yeah, I remember,” she said. After all, it was the last thing she remembered clearly before she’d awakened in the cold grass here in this place.
“Kissing you is always distracting,” she said. Not that they’d done it that often, but it had been enough for her to know that it was and always would be. There was a fire there that she couldn’t exactly explain, but she didn’t really want to.
His last words threw her for a minute, and then her eyes darted to his hand, then back to his eyes. Then back to his hand. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it.
“That girl in Texas? She actually is real?” It was the only explanation she could come up with, even though it seemed far-fetched.
***
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “She’s not the one who fixed this.”
Michael sighed. It was now or never. He closed his eyes for a moment, needing to gather his thoughts before speaking. When he finally did, the words tumbled out with no real forethought. “Max healed it,” he said.
Would that be enough for her to put the rest together or was he actually going to have to say it?
***
Maria blinked. “Max healed it?”
She wasn’t quite following. How could Max heal Michael’s hand? He wasn’t a doctor. Sure, he might have had some first aid from working with the police, but Michael’s hand would take dozens of complicated surgeries and probably still wouldn’t be completely right.
But then some of the things that Liz had told her about that night at the Crashdown when she’d been shot at. At least, she’d always said she’d just been shot at. But that was also when Liz had started acting...well, different. Keeping things from her. And Max had been there, too. With Liz.
“So...you’re telling me your brother is some sort of...Shamanic healer or something?”
***
That was a logical leap, he supposed, so he couldn’t entirely blame her for making that her first guess. It did make him smile though.
“Come on, DeLuca,” Michael said. “I thought you were smarter than that. Where’d you grow up?” He paused, giving her a moment to catch up. “I’m telling you my brother is an alien.”
***
Her first reaction was to roll her eyes. “An Alien. Right.” She’d heard enough of this stuff in her life, although usually not from other Roswellians without the last name of Greene. “Listen, if you don’t want to tell me…” She met his eyes again, though, and didn’t finish her train of thought.
“You’re serious,” she said, her voice softer. “You think Max is an alien.”
***
Michael shook his head. “No, Maria. I know Max is an alien.” It was probably the first time in recent memory that he used her given name and hopefully that would signal just how serious he was.
This time, he didn’t give her a moment, just kept talking. “So are Isobel and I.”
***
This time, she didn’t have words immediately. She just stared at him, trying to make sense of what he’d said. She understood the words. She understood the claim. But looking at curly haired, brown-eyed Michael who looked completely human in every way and who she’d known since high school - if not before - it was really hard to make sense of it. She didn’t want to believe it. Aliens weren’t real. Everyone in Roswell knew that. Well, at least the ones who weren’t crazy. And Michael Guerin was a lot of things, but he wasn’t crazy.
She got up off the chair where she was sitting and went to join him on the couch.
“Prove it.”
*** The last thing he’d been expecting was for her to move next to him. If anything, Michael thought she’d kick him out. He shouldn’t be surprised that she was demanding proof though. The vast majority of Roswell residents believed the whole story of the crash and subsequent government cover up was a bunch of bullshit. Those who believed otherwise were written off as crazy. They didn’t hesitate to rake in the money from gullible tourists, but that was just good business.
Michael met her eyes for a long moment before nodding and shifting his gaze to the TV remote sitting on the coffee table in front of them. His powers weren’t always the most accurate, probably because he didn’t use them often, so it took a minute for him to focus and get his breathing under control. Once he did, the remote floated up from the table. He couldn’t risk breaking eye contact with the item to look and see how she was reacting.
***
Maria watched silently as he demonstrated his abilities. His powers. Whatever she was supposed to call them. If he had looked over at her, he wouldn’t have been able to tell anything, her face was so expressionless as she tried to process what she was seeing with her own eyes.
She couldn’t deny it. Not when she had an example so clearly in front of her.
A thousand questions were swirling in her mind, all fighting to be asked.
“I - you - “ She stopped, just looking at him for a long, long time. “That must have been so terrifying to tell me. Thank you.”
Questions could come later.
***
Whatever reaction Michael was expecting, it wasn’t that, and he looked over at her so quickly, that his telekinetic link to the remote was broken and it clattered to the table. He sucked in a breath and then reached out to cup her cheek with one hand, leaning in for a kiss. They still needed to talk. A lot. He just wasn’t sure he was capable of forming words at the moment.
***
Kissing him back wasn’t a choice, her whole body would have rebelled against her if she’d tried to resist. But she stopped it with just the one kiss and instead rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It wasn’t hard to find, and it sounded so...well…human.
“So it’s all real? All the alien stuff? Where are you from? Who else knows?”
She stopped herself after that, not wanting to completely drown him in questions.
***
“Yeah, it’s real,” he said, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding as she settled against him. Michael slid his arm around her shoulders, liking the way her body felt against his. Probably more than he should. Her initial reaction was positive, but it might not stay that way and he didn’t want to get his hopes up that she would.
Especially once he answered the who else knows question. “We don’t know where we’re from,” he said. “The crash happened in 47. We were in statis until 97 and we woke up with no memories.” His eyes clouded over. Any chance of answers they had died with Noah and he was still angry with Max about that.
“We made a pact that we’d never tell anyone. Max broke that to tell Liz after he resurrected her at the Crashdown.”
***
She snuggled closer when he put his arm around her, as if to prove to herself that everything about him was the Michael Guerin she’d known for as long as she could remember. He felt the same. Sounded the same. Smelled the same. Nothing had changed about him, other than her perception. He’d always been an alien. Somehow feeling the warmth of him as they spoke was keeping her grounded and keeping her from panicking about it all.
“So you’re actually...in your seventies or something?” That was definitely a strange thought. “And...Liz was shot at the Crashdown that night.” She took a minute to absorb that. “I’m glad Max was there.” Losing Liz was inconceivable, especially after they’d lost Rosa.
“So only Liz...and now me?” She sounded a bit skeptical about that.
***
Michael chuckled. “I… guess. Never really thought about it that way.” As far as they could tell, they aged normally when they weren’t in their pods, but he really didn’t know how any of that actually worked.
“I wish,” he said. “Liz told Valenti” The guy had proven to be a decent ally, so Michael couldn’t be that mad about it anymore. “And Alex knows.” That one hurt a lot more. “His dad told him.”
That was a subject he wasn’t prepared to discuss yet.
***
“Liz told…” She stopped, the first look of annoyance crossing her face, but it wasn’t directed towards Michael. “So my best friend told her ex, but didn’t tell me.” That hurt a little. She’d have to have a talk with her about that if she ever showed up again. “Guess I’m not that trustworthy, then?”
She sat up, leaning back against the couch, but she didn’t move away. After all, she wasn’t really annoyed at Michael, she was more just annoyed in general.
Looking over at him, her expression softened a little, then turned into her characteristic teasing.
“And you’d better not tell me that the pill doesn’t work with aliens. Because I am not having your little alien baby, Guerin.”
They hadn’t exactly relied on much other than the fact she was on the pill in the desert that night. It hadn’t exactly been planned.
***
His own annoyance was more about Liz telling anyone though he could see where Maria was coming from. “She asked him medical questions,” Michael explained with a shrug. He didn’t particularly have a vested interest in defending her.
He grinned when she shifted gears. This had gone a lot better than he expected. It didn’t answer any of the questions about what was happening between them, but at least he could start working through those feelings without the massive guilt of his secret in the way.
“As far as I know, I’ve never gotten anyone pregnant,” Michael said. Maybe there was a one night stand out there raising a half alien baby that he’d never know about. “I honestly don’t know though.” It was why he almost always used condoms.
***
“Well, from now on, you cover up,” she said, then stopped abruptly. “If there is a ‘from now on’ of course. I’m not saying it will ever happen again. Because it shouldn’t. Ever.” And that had nothing to do with him being an alien and everything to do with her own guilt over inadvertently hurting Alex.
“It’s weird,” she said - understatement of the century. “But I mean, you’re still...you. Just as annoying as an alien as you were when I thought you were human. I mean...you haven’t changed just because I know your secret. Sorry I don’t have anything interesting to share with you,” she said. “I mean...I don’t really have any secrets. Although I ate a chocolate covered cricket once on a dare?”
***
“I meant what I said when I told you it’s over with Alex,” Michael said. “At least on my end.” He knew it wasn’t that simple though, and wouldn’t expect her to do anything that she would feel was a betrayal of her best friend.
There was so much more he should tell her. Oddly, he found that he wanted to tell her. Until now, the only person he’d ever been able to talk to honestly was Isobel. They’d covered enough ground for one night though. “That’s a conversation we can have later,” he said.
Michael wanted to just sit here with her, in peace, though he’d never voice that desire.
***
Maria had learned about as much as she wanted to for one night, too. It was a lot to take in. It was a lot of long-held beliefs to let go of. She was fine with letting further conversation happen later, because she had plenty to think about right now.
“Okay,” she said, simply. It was late, and she’d had a big couple of days in arriving in this place. Without really thinking about it, she snuggled back against Michael, her hand resting gently on his stomach, her head on his chest, again listening to his steady heartbeat. She was silent for a moment, then opened her eyes and looked up at him, pointing to the blanket on the chair where she’d been seated before. “Do you mind? I don’t want to get up.”
***
It took a moment for Michael to understand what she was asking. Once he did, he was surprised, but he didn’t want her to get up either, so he focused his attention on the blanket and floated it over to them. He didn’t have the mental dexterity to unfold it with his powers, so he reached up to pluck it from the air and spread it across them both.
This was far more intimate than he was used to and was surprised to realize he didn’t actually mind. He leaned his head against the back of the sofa and let the sound of her breathing wash over him until he drifted off to sleep.