InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "i was there for you..."

ʙᴀʀᴛᴏɴ (cauterising) wrote in somerealityrpg,
@ 2021-03-12 20:29:00

Entry tags:

active: bonnie bennett, active: clint barton

everyone's got a breaking point

something's got to give

What. a step before experimentation
Where. barton apartment
When. friday; after this & this.
Warnings. potential references to traumatic brain injury; sight loss; mind control; magic use; update as needed
Status. closed; in progress

Clint wasn't a fan of magic.

Clint was less of a fan of blindness and Nate was strongly opposed to experimental brain procedures. So there they were.

It wasn't news to Clint that he was getting on people's nerves—he expected that, really. After the shit show of a week at home, without his sight, and then in space where he was almost glad to not see that and barely left whatever counted as their space with Nat, he knew he was getting to the point of snapping at everyone.

Which wasn't fair, sure, but he wasn't yet into the acceptance that he might not get his sight back if the swelling stayed as it was. So Nate brought up magic as a first alternative to potentially sending Lila into a tail spin and bringing up Sam and experimental. Which, if he'd been thinking clearly, yes, he would agree it was a stupid thing to consider.

But Clint's experience with magic hadn't ever gone well.

Nate assured him it was Morgan's friend—Clint didn't point out it was basically a friend of a friend of Morgan's though, because he knew Nate would get stuck on details, and by this stage, Clint was prepared to give anything a shot. Even if it set his teeth on edge.

Nate had somehow managed to coerce Natasha out of the apartment, and when Bonnie arrived, Nate planned on being scarce (but close by, really dad, super close by—which meant sitting in the hallway). So Clint waited on the sofa, staring blindly at the ceiling and going through the old breathing exercises from when they'd put him through the evaluations post-Loki.

Thankfully all the sharp objects were pointedly across the room.

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phasmatos
2021-03-12 09:43 pm UTC (link)

When Damon came to Bonnie with a favor from the girl who looked enough like Katherine to still cause her to do a double-take every time she saw her, the witch hadn't hesitated. She would do just about anything for Damon, including things in their past she hadn't always wanted to do, and Morgan was important enough to him to warrant importance for her. It also wasn't in her nature to flat-out refuse to aid someone. Selflessness, while notable, tended to be her fatal flaw.

She'd gotten the basic rundown from Morgan; swelling of the brain, loss of sight, considering extreme measures, and a general aversion to magic. Clint Barton wouldn't be the first person she'd encountered who wasn't a fan of her particular skill set and he most certainly wouldn't be the last. Bonnie would never force it on anyone but did agree that a hold should be placed on any other ideas until she could at least try.

She wasn't just going to take the word of others that he was agreeable to the magic route, however. No. She would discern that for herself.

Leaving Morgan in the hallway with Nate, she walked into the common area of the apartment and made sure to make her presence known before approaching him. "Clint? Hi. I'm Bonnie Bennett."

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cauterising
2021-03-12 10:38 pm UTC (link)

Thanks to the whole 'can't see' thing, Clint was a tiny bit more aware of other things; surroundings had always been second nature to case, but he'd relied mostly on visual cues than anything else really. Now, there was a little more awareness of his hearing, the feel of a room being occupied by more than just him. So it wasn't too much of a surprise to hear an unfamiliar voice.

"Hi." He tried what he could to keep the frustration out of his voice, never mind the swirling dread from magic coming up in the very near future. It was probably less invasive than brain surgery. But it still didn't calm all the memories from everything going blue.

"How much do I need to explain and how much have the kids filled in?" Because obviously this was a Morgan and Nate team up.

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phasmatos
2021-03-12 11:07 pm UTC (link)

Bonnie could sense the tension in the room. She'd felt it before she even entered the living area and she could comment on it, but refrained. What he needed was to be assured she wasn't going to turn his brain inside out or anything else that could be considered a nightmare. So, easing further into the room- she kept her tone light.

"They gave me enough to get a general idea or at least what I could decipher through your son's rambling and Morgan's sarcasm." Moving to sit on the table across from him, she placed her bag on the floor and smiled despite knowing he couldn't see it. "You've lost your sight because of a brain injury."

"I think that I can help you. It's not a guarantee but you're going to have to trust me. Which is a big ask, I know. You don't know me, but I won't do anything you don't want me to do and I will walk you through it before." Bonnie had come a long way from floating feathers in Elena's room, but aside from her brief stint with expression, she never tried to be over-confident. She'd experienced enough to know that things sometimes went sideways- especially when she thought they wouldn't.

"Why don't you explain it just a little better?"

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cauterising
2021-03-12 11:53 pm UTC (link)

There was no stifling the snort at the comment about Morgan and Nathan, "Yeah, they're almost like a double act." Which was a fair assessment of the running commentary from Nate and then Morgan's acerbic comments that were fairly like her father's sarcastic, witty comments during stressful scenarios.

At least she was very aware about just how uneasy things were, and there was a degree of understanding, similar to how Joan set him at ease with her calm tones and understanding—Clint did just about as well with doctors as with magic. "I have a history of concussions, brain injuries are part and parcel really." With the number he'd had in the past, Clint was used to that part. The nausea, the headaches, the balance shit, memory troubles. He hated them, but they happened. "But this is significantly worse than usual. Cracked right on the occipital lobe, which has swollen to the point of pressing against my skull, and it's fucked my vision."

Which was putting it mildly. "That was two weeks ago, and I'm literally reaching the end of my tether."

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phasmatos
2021-03-13 06:10 pm UTC (link)

Bonnie arched an eyebrow at the snort and couldn't help but laugh a little. "I know all about those double acts. They can be a pain in the ass sometimes." Granted her double acts weren't 'kids' but in all honesty, they might as well have been. Somehow, throughout most of her life, she'd become a professional babysitter for emotionally stunted vampires.

Listening carefully as he described his past and injuries, she opened her duffle bag to begin pulling out candles, glass bottles of herbs, and finally a small planter with English Marigolds. "You must be if you're considering being an idiot. At least that is what your daughter made it sound like in a much less nice way."

"Let's see what we can do about avoiding that?" Most of Bonnie's healing needed magic to have been involved with the injury itself. This was another reason why she didn't want to give a guarantee but she was operating around the idea of what was truly behind everything that happened in Goodland- magic.

"I'm going to place candles around the room and crush some herbs. Sounds kooky I know, but the important part is the flowers. Nature requires balance. At best? The flowers wither and you are healed. At worst? You walk out of here feeling like you just left a high school seance."

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cauterising
2021-03-13 09:53 pm UTC (link)

Considering things from a logical standpoint, Clint knew that entertaining the mere notion of a brain surgery that wasn't tried, tested and a proven minimal risk was bordering on insanely stupid; he was sure had Natasha heard him instead of Nate then he'd have another concussion to deal with. But as it stood, this long, with this injury, and these side effects, Clint would likely plunge head first into insanity sooner rather than later.

He got why Nate, and Morgan and Lila, were so dead set against it. But he was also entirely done with being blind, helpless and feeling adrift.

"Sure, it's better than the burnt toast smell that may be my brain eating itself or my son's attempts at making breakfast." He hated that things were still experimental, that it was still a maybe and not a for sure. He'd heard it enough from Joan, and reasonably he knew that it was Joan's way of not getting their hopes too high without dashing the possibility that it might heal on its own.

Clint had deep wells of patience, it was something he'd cultivated for years as a sniper. But even he was over this.

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phasmatos
2021-03-14 02:56 am UTC (link)

"Let's hope it's the bad breakfast? I don't know if I can fix burnt toast." She'd learned her lesson years ago when it came to going too far. Numerous close calls and one that actually hit its mark were enough to prevent her from ever going down that road again.

Moving away from the table, Bonnie found a surface for each candle to stand on before immediately returning to sit in front of him. "I'm going to work on the herbs now. How long have you and your family been in Goodland?" Small talk was probably the last thing Clint wanted right now, but it was better than talking exclusively about the magic he was already anxious about.

Thankfully, preparing the herbs and sprinkling them into the flowers didn't take long. So, there was only one small talk question required. "I'll have to touch your head during the spell, but all you have to do is stay still."

"Incendia." At that utterance, every candle in the room caught flame and she turned back to him. "Alright, Clint. I'm ready if you are."

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cauterising
2021-03-14 03:19 am UTC (link)

Given Nate's propensity for burning the simplest of things, something he and Natasha was prone to doing, Clint was willing to bet while he was unable to actually cook, there'd been a lot of kitchen disasters no one told him about.

"Nat and me about two years," from what he could gather it was 'the beginning' of whatever this whole thing was, some weird experiment or whatever, "the kids about a year or so." Although Nate and Lila appeared at roughly the same time, Cooper a little while after and then leaving a few months after that, Morgan had been around longer still. Which, in all likelihood, was better for Tony in the long run.

It took everything in Clint, all the circus training, all the agent training, the will that came from launching himself into battle with Gods and super soldiers, all of that combined was put into full effect just to stop him from bouncing his knee like a nervous teenager. Gritting his teeth and expelling a breath, Clint gave a shaky nod, "Go for it."

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phasmatos
2021-03-14 09:05 am UTC (link)

"It will be two years in November for me." Bonnie hadn't exactly always been a fan of Goodland. To be honest, she wasn't sure she would ever truly be. There was too much history with overpowered beings for her ever to be completely comfortable with the Entity.

Nothing should have this much power.

That shaky nod was all she needed. Reaching her hand out, she rested atop his head and closed her eyes. There were a few seconds of silence as she began concentrating before she spoke again. When she did, the Latin was in a lower tone- the candle flames flickering and dancing about angrily.

There was some resistance in the beginning. The spirits were arguing with her, pushing back against what she was trying to do. Bonnie was accustomed to this part. Debating with them was always an ordeal. They were strong, but only because they outnumbered her. "No. Magic was involved. Magic was at the root. Without it, he wouldn't have been injured in the first place. I've given you your balance...now get out of my way and let me do what I'm meant to do."

Pushing back as hard as she could, Bonnie finally broke through the barrier they'd thrown up. She couldn't see it, but she felt the flowers withering as the energy flowed through the hand she had placed against Clint's head.

It seemed to take an eternity, but in reality, only amounted to maybe a total of five minutes, and when the candles all went out in unison? She finally opened her eyes.

Glancing first at the Marigolds that were nothing but brittle weeds now, she took a deep breath and finally turned to Clint. "How do you feel?"

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cauterising
2021-03-14 09:52 am UTC (link)

There was a steady twist in his gut, and a part of Clint regretted not having Natasha around for this, but he knew if it didn't work he didn't want her to have to hide her disappointment to comfort him. He didn't think Morgan would steer them wrong, didn't think Nate would let something happen if he wasn't sure it wasn't going to be potentially triggering.

It was a little humbling at times to realise his eighteen-year-old was aware of the PTSD and what triggered it.

He could feel as Bonnie's magic settled, completely different from when the sceptre had frozen every part of his free will and altered things, the cold chasing the feeling until everything numbed. There was just something of a presence, nothing cold or pressing or even heavy in the process. He heard Bonnie, but didn't exactly listen, not processing the words while he tried to focus on just letting things happen.

As he felt the magic dissipate, there was a rush of air from his lungs and Clint felt almost winded without the strike. It was automatic to blink past the feeling as it settled down. "Fine, it's just—" It was blurry at first, until his eyes refocused on whatever was around him, and then the shapes came into view, the blur fading to sharpness and Clint pushed his fingers into the corners of his eyes before blinking past it again. "It's ..." Okay, maybe Natasha would've been better after all.

"It's great, sorry, yeah." It was probably obvious, as he finally managed to settle on looking at Bonnie instead of just where he thought she was, that her magic had worked.

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phasmatos
2021-03-16 02:34 am UTC (link)

Bonnie knew the mechanics of the spell and how it would work- if it worked- but everyone reacted to magic differently. So, instead of overwhelming him with a million questions, she let him set the pace and just observed quietly during the first few minutes.

She couldn't help but smile again, though, as his eyes settled and actually saw her. "My theory was right then. Still a little experimental but not as scary as cracking open your skull."

Bonnie was going to need a long nap soon. Spells like these always took a lot out of her but they were always worth it in the long run. "You will have to get another scan to be sure, but the swelling should be gone and there shouldn't be any side effects from the magic."

"If you do have any? Let me know. Welcome back, Clint."

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