WHO: Nate Barton & Azari T'Challa WHEN: day after this incident WHERE: Tony's Farm WHAT: Azari and Nate have their first in person meeting. With animals. WARNINGS: Low STATUS: Complete
Thinking hurt.
The takeaway from this whole chaos was that Nathan hated thinking. Getting through the break up, then talking through it, with Dad, with Wanda, with Nat. Dealing with emotions, it was the worst. He’d gotten through the residual headache and discomfort of the whole ordeal and his meltdown at home, Nate was eager to do the ‘get back to normal’ thing.
Dad’s suggestion, and the assurance that Tony would not mind, meant that Nate was heading to the farm just after school with the intention of sitting down with a goat or a chicken and not giving a care in the world. Animals usually helped, animals were better than humans. Go animals.
Although, Nathan hadn’t been expecting anyone else there, but he supposed that was silly. So long as he could still hug a goat or chicken or even an alpaca. “Hey,” he didn’t recognise the other person, but that wasn’t exactly out of the question.
Goodland was a lot in a number of different ways. There was so much good but at the same time there were also a lot of confusing elements. From James’ weird behaviour to the fact he had a chance to get to know a version of his mother and hear stories about a version of his father along with a city that was so beautiful and literally no killer robots to be found. It was also a lot louder so Tony’s offer of escape to the farm was one he was not only grateful for but readily accepted.
As always he was seemingly incapable of sitting like a “regular” person evident in how he was basically perching atop a nearby fence and watching some fluffy animals running around a field trying to work out what they were because whilst he knew more than Francis thanks to Tony there were some gaps in his general knowledge.
He had an elbow resting on his knee and his chin was propped up in the palm of his hand as his light hazel eyes tracked the animals and their movements. It was only when he heard a voice that his attention broke away and he turned his head to rest his gaze on the tall brunette who looked familiar and yet not.
“Hey,” he offered with a smile.
It wasn’t unfathomable that someone else would be at Tony’s farm, the extended team family included so many people now that Nate would be shocked if it was completely empty. Although he’d prefer if it were Morgan hanging around, he could cope with someone else.
So long as no one came between him and animal petting time.
“Sorry, um, I just came to hang out with the goats and chickens and stuff.” It was probably a weird way to find a degree of comfort, but Nate liked the familiarity of it all.
“I’m Nate, by the way. Hi. You’re kinda new around here, right?” Kind of, because Nathan had sucked about keeping up with faces lately.
“I just came to get away from all the…” Azari trailed off and waved his hand vaguely in the direction of Goodland. It was so very alive which was amazing in itself but also kind of overwhelming especially with things happening with James and by extension everybody around him.
Nate? The name rang a bell, Francis had mentioned that James had a boyfriend called Nate and he had spoken to somebody on the network who had introduced himself as Nate. What were the odds?
“Azari,” he offered in a way of greeting. “And yep I’m pretty new.” He said all of this while lifting out of his perch and walking along the fence until he could offer Nate his hand.
“Yeah,” Nate huffed out a laugh, “It gets a bit much, right?” Nathan was used to the farm, infrequent visits to New York or California to see Morgan or when they went into DC for their dad to yell at Fury’s face for something (usually Lila related), so having the city was nice, but being all cramped into an apartment was weird.
“Oh,” Nate was already taking the hand that had been offered, shaking it as he put the dots together, “Azari of the Francis-James-Torunn unit, right?” What were the odds? Great. “Are you settling? Getting your bearings? Freaking out at how different it all is?” With the pleasantries done, Nate didn’t feel so bad about ducking into the pen to lure a goat over with some food, getting to run a hand along its spine.
“It’s gotta be a huge change, right?”
Azari’s brow furrowed and his head tipped almost quizzically when there was a very distinct tone to Nate’s voice though admittedly if this was the same Nate as the one Francis had told him about then he couldn’t really blame him. “That’s me,” he replied with a lift of his shoulders before, much like a big cat, he lithely turned and settled his weight into a crouch on a very small post.
“Massive change.” No two ways about it. “But it’s a good change. It’s really nice being somewhere that’s alive, not destroyed and I don’t have to worry about killer robots trying to murder me and my family though admittedly none of us worried about any of that until James inadvertently alerted Ultron to our presence. Not like Francis.”
He rocked his weight on his toes before he lightly jumped down off the fence but quietly enough that he didn’t startle any of the animals.
It was cool, on some level, that they were getting a shot to see what a world pre-apocalypse looked like. He’d never really pushed James for information, although he’d been able to read and sometimes James said bits and pieces. Nathan did know that while most of them grew up with Tony as the only parent they knew, Francis lost his dad (the same dad that Nate had) much later.
“No killer robots are definitely a bonus.” And Nate could think of more people who’d share that sentiment. He wouldn’t bother mentioning Ultron, he knew that was a sore spot. “And like people, right? Just having siblings around all the time is probably super annoying after a while.” Nate wasn’t entirely sure, it might be. Maybe make people frustrated sometimes.
“It’s not really like that here. Stuff happens but like… you guys can relax a little sometimes too, you know?” At least if they didn’t have a brain like Nate’s that sometimes whispered really stupid shit to him just to freak him out.
Azari had been part of the fortunate who had grown up with Tony in what was paradise compared to the hellhole that Francis had carved out an upbringing in. That was why this whole thing with James was so confusing to him as on the scale of trauma (if there was such a thing) theirs whilst still kind of impressive was nothing in comparison.
“I’m still getting used to the amount of people,” he admitted ruefully. “Crowds are not really my most favourite thing since I got here.” He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back to rest his weight against the fence he’d been climbing all over earlier.
Relaxing wasn’t something any of them were any good at but recognising safety from danger was something Azari was quite good at, so he was finding those moments and letting himself really explore them. “Have to appreciate the quiet moments when you can.”
“Man, same.” Not in the same way, not in the ‘I have never been used to this and it’s very weird’ kind of way, just the ‘holy shit so many people do I have something on my face is my shirt on right did I say something stupid’ kind of way. “Tony is pretty cool about people visiting here, you know if you need space. It’s not the kind of place that gets crowded really.”
Tony’s family and some of the other Avengers, they seemed to the regular faces at the farm area.
“It’s good yeah, the crazy stuff is really crazy, but it’s not like that a lot.” It seemed like it happened the most infrequent. “The weird stuff is what you’ll need to get used to.” But even that was only mildly irritating. “Like Candyland or being stupidly happy a lot.”
“He isn’t the Tony I know, but he seems pretty cool,” Azari agreed as he wandered over to a nearby goat who seemingly took one look at him and hedged away. Maybe it was the cat-like way that he moved?
No offence taken.
He slipped his hands into the pockets of a new pair of jeans he’d bought to replace what passed for clothing from his future which on a much closer look was not great and tipped his head upwards to regard the sky. “Candyland? Like an entire land made of candy?”
“Tony’s the coolest.” And Nate wasn’t just saying it because he was Morgan’s dad and Morgan was just getting to have a relationship with him. Nate really liked Tony, thought he was generous and caring and really tried.
“It was so cool.” Sure, the novelty wore off and Nate hadn’t really looked at Candy since then, but he’d enjoyed it. Floating around and messing about with Morgan, it was fun. “I think that was when Francis arrived actually.” Not that Nate had gotten to hang out with him much, giving James and Francis space had seemed like the plan at the start, but it was weird after a while, and then they both needed space and---
Nathan wasn’t going there. “Goodland changes a lot too, so you’ll even get to see different places too.” Travel without having to travel. Bonus.
Azari was distracted for a moment as he watched the clouds move past, and he was able to pick out shapes. Was that normal?
“Francis is a complicated one,” he affirmed with a nod of his head. “Which I’m sure you’ve already figured out given that he’s been here longer than me.”
Azari was older than everybody now and there was a running theme of wisdom through hair or at least that’s what he’d been told though he still thought it was to do with the fact he’d been connected to the panther since birth.
“I’ve always wanted to travel.”
Complicated. That was probably putting it mildly, and it wasn’t like Nate really held it against him, he figured that apocalypse gave a lot of leeway for figuring these things out. And the whole ‘not really his dad’ thing, throw in additional kids and a girlfriend (which although he and his siblings were cool with, it might be weird for someone else) and really, complicated was probably an understatement and Nate needed to cut Francis more slack.
“Yeah,” still, pulling out pieces of grass, just sitting on the ground, Nate figured Azari would know better than most that Francis was complex. “He’s still coming round, I guess. Kinda. I think we scared him off or something. Dad was talking about trying to get him to just move in and then I dunno, he spooked or something and James--” Not talking about that with one of James’ brothers. “But yeah, he’s sorta … complicated.”
Best word for it.
“Maybe it’ll be easier for him, yeah, now that you’re here?”
“James,” Azari repeated with an accompanying shake of his head. “I don’t know what to make of him.” Which was the truth. He’d heard and seen a lot and none of it was particularly good but hopefully it might become clearer with time. He pulled on his lower lip and settled himself cross-legged in front of Nate but with enough distance that it was still respectful. “Francis has no idea what to make of this place. Keeps thinking that somebody’s going to rip it and everybody out from under him and it’s easier if he does it first before it happens to him.”
He tipped his head and watched the way that Nate pulled out pieces of grass, light eyes ever watchful and curious.
“Patience and persistence.” Two words which definitely made a world of difference with one Francis Barton. “It’s not always easy though.” And it wasn’t, no denying that fact. “But I am hopeful that now I’m here he’ll find it easier and might be more willing to get involved and embrace Goodland.”
There were things that Nate could say, possible explanations to give or excuses. But he wasn’t sure if James had said anything to Azari, and he already thought he’d probably put too much on Torunn by telling her, but she’d asked, and he was partially worried that some of the only friends he’d managed to make outside Morgan would think he---
“I get that.” It’d taken a bit, even without Nate coming from the apocalypse. Getting used to his dad being younger, a little less broken, with Natasha being alive and not just an echo of a memory that faded a little more every year. He couldn’t begin to fathom what it would be like for Francis, to have all this and just worry it’d slip away, and he’d be where he was. “Dad doesn’t like to push, pretty sure it’s because he knows what he’d do if someone pushed,” and Francis seemed to be a lot like their dad in ways of personality. “And it’s like… I kinda thought James was…” The only reason Francis thought about maybe tolerating them.
But if it was patience and persistence… Well Nathan could do one of those. Because he didn’t get any patience from anyone in the family, he was like Laura that way. He had his mother’s worry and her lack of patience and probably her coordination minus a few points.
Maybe with Azari, it’d be less like a battle in getting the real meaning out of someone. “It’s okay if it’s not easy. We’re a persistent family.”
“The only reason Francis was sticking around?” Azari ventures with a knowing look. It was no secret that James and Francis were close, closer than Azari was to James, which could have been insulting for anybody other than Azari who was stupidly reasonable. Also secure weirdly enough. “But for reference,” he explained as he picked up a stray piece of grass, “Francis despite his prickly appearance does want to be a part of things. He just finds it easier to push people away before they push him away.”
Lots had changed in the years that had meant that Azari was older, being closer to Francis was one of those things. “It won’t be easy. It will be an uphill battle because he’s mistrusting and suspicious but just keep trying is literally the best advice I can give you.”
He twirled the blade of grass in his fingers. “He can be a real idiot at times.”
Nodding slightly, Nate figured that the candidness was probably helpful.
Figuring stuff out was hard enough, figuring it out when everything was communicated through grunts and half-truths or deflection, it was nearly impossible. Working out if someone meant what they said or were saying it because they thought you wanted to hear it, it sucked and Nathan second guessed everything. Clearly, since it got to the point of an anxiety attack.
Azari seemed to just cut right to it, no sugar coating, laying it out. It was appreciated really.
“Sounds a bit like my sister,” Nate smirked a little, starting to relax just a bit, especially as the goat beside him just hunkered down, gnawing on grass and letting Nate pet at him. “Thanks, y’know. For the advice, and stuff. You probably didn’t come out here to play guru though.”
Azari was for the most part very direct and to the point. He spoke from his heart, was careful with the truth, but not to the point where it took away the honesty of it. Tricky line to walk, and he definitely screwed up at times, but he did try his best which honestly had to count for something, right?
“Don’t mention it.” His lips pulled into a small smile. “There’s been a lot of confusion lately and I figure it doesn’t hurt to clear some of it up. I mean we all have our issues but Francis has more than the rest of us. Hard not to considering he grew up in an apocalyptic wasteland with a bunch of adults all looking to him for answers. Sure he had Clint for a while whereas we didn’t know our birth parents but it’s hard to miss what you’ve never had, you know? And I can’t fault Tony for anything that he did to keep us safe.”
He tipped his head to watch the goat as it got comfortable beside Nate. “You have a way with animals.”
He wondered what was better. Never knowing your parents, or losing what was left of them when it could hurt the most. It probably wasn’t comparable, not really. It was still a parent lost. Nate knew what had been sacrificed to get his dad home to them, he couldn’t fault Francis being a little fucked up because he lost that.
“It’s probably part of the whole,” Nate’s free hand waved wildly, attempting to encompass the whole lot of fucked up-ness, “mess. The fact that it’s Clint... but not… that one.” The same way it was Natasha and Steve, Tony and the lady with the hair that he assumed was who people meant was Azari’s mom. Or a version of her. “I’d be more messed up with someone like my dad but not my dad.” Even just the missing years made it a little harder, but damn if he wasn’t lucky to have his sister and brother too.
“Tony’ll still try. Like around here, not just with the farm and checking in, he’s good like that. But like… he just cares a lot.” And tried a lot, and Nate didn’t doubt that Azari would get that air of acceptance too.
“We have a farm at home,” Nate shrugged a little, he was better with animals than he was with people, “I spent my childhood chasing goats and this one really moody donkey. Dad picks up all these animals that’re either too old or just done in one place, and they just show up on ours. We’ve got like twelve chickens and a couple goats and dogs and stuff.” They calmed Nate down, settled his heart, stopped him thinking so much. But Azari probably didn’t need to hear about that. “Animals are awesome.”
“A different perspective never hurts especially when dealing with Francis Barton who is the stereotype for punching away feelings.” He reached up and loosened the tie on his dreadlocks which allowed them to fall free around his face. Honestly it felt nice to tug away that constricting band as maybe just maybe he’d done it up too tight. Tension headaches were a thing here, apparently.
He reached over and let the goat sniff his hand before he was finally able to brush his fingers over its ears.
“Sometimes more than people, right?”
Well that was Lila. She still punched away feelings, at least with people not family. “Makes sense.” Who had time for feelings when you were saving people and fighting a robot army and doing all those things? Nate wouldn’t call them cool, not that it wasn’t cool to fight to save the world and all that, but he doubted fighting for your life was ‘cool’. But useful stuff, stuff people would look to in a crisis. People who could help.
“Definitely more than people sometimes. Animals are so much less confusing.”
“And they don’t lie,” Azari remarked with a small knowing smile. “Always know where you stand with them.” Or at least that was his limited understanding. He’d been doing a lot of listening, reading, researching and learning as much as he could about where he was now.
He curled his legs up and rested his arms atop his knees before he just rubbed a hand over a forearm and then bicep.
“But I’m still learning a lot so maybe don’t take my word for it.”
Animals didn’t lie, and they were easier to understand, they weren’t off all the time and keeping secrets or being confusing, an animal either liked you or didn’t, and most of the time they did. “You’re learning correct. Animals are pretty darn awesome like that, no lies, no games. Just support and a tendency to be there when you need them.”
Humans could not always say the same.
“Have you met the alpaca yet? There’s an alpaca and a llama, and they are both very cool.”
“I have not.” Azari shook his head. He also had no frame of reference for either of those animals, so he wasn’t about to turn down an opportunity. “I definitely wouldn’t say no to meeting either of those animals.”
Had to seize every moment you could as you never knew when it might be your last.
“Hopefully my energy won’t scare them.” It did sometimes or so he’d noticed. Maybe it was the panther or maybe it was the electricity?
“Well that settles it.” Nate was cautious about standing up, slow instead of his usual burst, giving a last few pets to the goat that just lay there eating away. “You gotta come meet them. Tony has some rabbits and chickens here too. The rabbits are a bit shy at first though they are sweet.”
Animals were an easy topic, there weren’t careful land mines to avoid either, and Nate could pretty much focus on that. And Azari should get to know the random animals that Tony had started collecting. Maybe he’d slowly branch out too, not like to a zoo level, but some horses and a donkey maybe.
“Llamas sometimes spit, so be careful there.” And at least Nate felt like he knew something when it came to Tony’s animals, like he wasn’t out of his depth here and could actually help someone, even in something as menial as meeting animals.