WHO Emma Frost & Jean Grey WHEN Shortly after Jean's arrival (before Scott's) WHERE The Park WHAT A former Phoenix host feels the current Phoenix host get riled up. WARNINGS Mild Spoilers for some X-Men stuff STATUS Complete
Things had been going relatively well for Jean, considering. So far she’d only rearranged her room once in her sleep and since no one had commented on it then she figured no one else had been affected. A nightmare or two was to be expected, wasn’t it? She’d struggled with nightmares for years and now when she slept she saw memories from the Phoenix too, along with the new memories of causing the crash that killed her mother and the fresh abandonment of her father, all over again, relearning a pain that she hadn’t even realised she felt.
And that, really, was where she had fallen down. Though she hadn’t become complacent, she was taking a walk through this world’s version of Central Park and idly paying attention to the minds around her, the ones of the people that inhabited this place that felt sort of empty but still alive, thoughts whispering like the fading echoes around her but as she listened and her mind wandered further, she hit other minds, more minds than she was ready for and the noise was suddenly deafening.
“Be quiet,” she said, just the once through gritted teeth as her hands lifted to her head, fingers curled into her fist and pushing on either side of her skill even as her telekinesis swirled around her, reaching out telepathically for someone nearby who felt familiar, or at least, kind of familiar, to try and help her centre herself.
Getting used to everything was somewhat easier with the familiar minds popping up. She avoided forming a bond with any of them, although the space where Scott usually sat was distressingly quiet, she was coming to accept it would remain like that. Her break up with Scott felt entirely permanent, although she didn’t blame his actions with the Phoenix on him she still couldn’t get past the issues it brought up.
She was enjoying an iced latte at a small coffee shop near the park, sunning herself, when she felt the push, then the swirl of chaos. “Jean?”
It was very unusual for her to feel protective towards Jean Grey, although the girl was young, not untrained or inexperienced, but relearning a power level she wasn’t used to. And Emma had felt the newness to some old memories, so she could imagine that there was a story there. “Jean, just take a breath and focus on me.” The risk that Jean could still lose control of Phoenix, even a little, was there, and Emma didn’t want to give any of the Avengers, from any world, a reason to distrust them.
Not right now, not when her own simmering anger was still close to the surface.
Jean's eyes widened when her mind brushed against Emma's, or maybe Emma's brushed against hers. Regardless, it was a familiar mind that she latched onto, mindful not to push too hard or cling but it was enough to focus on Emma. She felt a pain, an emptiness somewhere but didn't probe: that was disrespectful but she was curious and Emma likely could have felt it.
"Emma," she said, looking around to see if she could pinpoint the other woman, even as a trashcan nearby was pushed over, knocked by her powers as they briefly flared. She could feel the Phoenix there, under her skin, just waiting for permission or maybe waiting for her to slip up. "It's too loud again."
She took that breath, the one Emma coached her to and tried to just hone in on the one mind, the one sound but it was hard. She felt like she had as a child, at points, her grasp and control tenuous on something she knew. To say she was frustrated with it, with herself, would be an understatement. She should be better than this.
"I can't."
She needed the Professor, she wanted Scott. She wanted her Ororo, she wanted the people she knew, the people that had- that had probably moved on without her. Grieved her and moved on. It made something else in her, something hot and angry flash through her briefly, the emotions that were unchecked during her battle with the Phoenix for control of herself.
“You can. Breathe, focus on something, a memory or a place you can see. Concentrate on that and your breathing and pull it in, block out everything else.” It’d been a while since Emma had been responsible for teaching a new telepath, she’d coached young Jean, the displaced one to reharness her power, but this was entirely different.
That Jean didn’t have a cosmic energy force simmering under her skin.
Leaving her seat, pinpointing Jean’s location just a short distance away. She didn’t run, because why would she? But kept her mind calm and steady, even at the soft prod a little deeper than Emma was currently permitting Jean to go.
“You’re stronger than this Jean, you know how to do this. You can do it, you just need to focus.”
Jean took another breath in, pressing her fists tight against either side of her head and hunching forward a little, focusing more on trying to stop herself from knocking anything else over. She knew she could do this but just like in the woods at home when Dazzler had been singing, when they'd been dancing and feeling so alive and it had become too much all over again. It felt the same here, an overwhelming tide of the minds in this pocket city that just pushed at her.
Thinking about the first time the Phoenix's power had lashed out wasn't helping: she'd hurt her friends, she'd hurt Scott. Even after everything that had happened he still came to try and help her with Vuk. It had been him getting hurt - again - that had her leashing in the Phoenix. She was dangerous. They were dangerous, and the power she had now was seductive.
Instead, she focused on the day she'd finally got a grip on her telekinesis, throwing disks for Scott to explode with his visor as they trained together near the tree Scott had destroyed when he first arrived. She let the memory wash over her, focusing on Emma's calm, steady psychic presence and just holding onto that thought, using it as the anchor that held her in place as she reigned herself in, drew her powers closer.
"It's like I'm learning all over again," she said, slightly strained. The roar was dulled, she didn't feel like she was in a Knicks stadium anymore but maybe outside. Still loud, but not deafening anymore. Who would have thought she'd struggle after coming back to herself? "I forgot how hard it was in the beginning." When she was an eight year old, hearing and feeling everything.
Emma was close enough to see Jean then, watching the young woman pull everything back down to a control level. “It’s a different level of power,” and Jean had always had her own untapped power levels, before the Phoenix, the might of Jean’s mind had always been impressive and annoying. Emma could claim strength over Charles, even over Betsy, but she and Jean hadn’t had a level playing field, even before Jean was Phoenix, she was stronger. Probably why Emma chose subterfuge to battle her. “You know how to do this, the skills are already there, it’s just that there’s so much more to hold back, the old restraint on your power just isn’t enough.”
There was something comforting about it all, Emma’s role, her ability to teach. Both Jean and Hope were untrained in that area, relearning or just learning how to harness and control their power. And Emma had done this before, her Hellions, her Cuckoos, Rachel. Students that she had helped shape, and maybe yes, she lost some of them, a pain that wouldn’t entirely leave, but she knew this.
Standing a few feet from Jean, Emma kept up the soft and calm tone, the supportive and comforting presence, even if she’d never thought she’d do this for another Jean Grey. “Phoenix is not stronger than you, she’s wild and untamed, but you are the one in control, and you are the one who can contain her.” Possibly the only one who could do it and live through it.
Even in those darker times.
Though Emma's mind was unfamiliar to Jean, there was a familiarity of sorts that made her feel safe. Perhaps it was the fact that Emma had housed the Phoenix, perhaps it was because she was another psychic. Whatever it was, she felt a bit like Charles in the way she slipped into teacher mode, her voice calm and soothing, echoing around Jean's mind loudly enough that it helped drown out some of the din.
Opening her eyes, she spotted Emma and felt a wave of relief move through her. It had been lucky that the other woman was so close, her power rolled off her in waves, and Jean had only ever felt one other person who had a similar signature and that was Charles himself. She was lucky, so lucky, that Emma was working with her, not against her. She didn't know if she'd stand a chance without the Phoenix, even if she had faced down Apocalypse.
"You said I've done it before," Jean said, "in your world. But I'm dead. Does she kill me?"
Her hair was still moving with the wisps of her power, a warm breeze swirling lightly around her but nothing else was shaking. A nearby bench was slightly singed, curling upwards on itself and the trashcans had been knocked over, but nothing else was damaged.
Making sure that her mind had an escape, time for Emma to withdraw and shift to diamond if she needed to, Emma kept a careful eye on what power was leaking from Jean as she maintained that careful calm.
“Which time?” It was true, Jean was currently dead, at least in her true form. Young Jean from the earlier timeline was there, but that didn’t mean Jean was gone for good. “She’s died before, and returned, because of the Phoenix. She stopped the world being destroyed, and died with the Phoenix. She came back because of the Phoenix, because she’s strong enough to contain it and live with it.”
Life and death, fire and rebirth, that was what Phoenix was, and Emma understood that in a very hollowing way.
“Jean, just because she died, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t strong, or capable, or that it reflects on you. You’re not her.”
Multiple deaths and resurrections didn't exactly make her feel better but it did make her feel less worse. The heroic nature of the deaths didn't even really make her feel proud. She could feel the Phoenix inside her though, almost responding to what Emma was saying, coiling protectively inside her. She supposed she had died already, and been brought back. The power inside of her hadn't destroyed her, just changed her form.
And that was true too: she wasn't the Jean that everyone here seemed to know. She wasn't the same woman, though Emma was the only one who seemed not to be disappointed in some way or another.
"I know, I just wish some people stopped expecting me to be her." She understood connections in alternative realities, but she wasn't that Jean. She took a breath again, withdrew slightly from Emma's mind, tentatively, testing the sound levels around her. She flinched, but didn't push back into Emma's mind. "I'm sorry, the Professor trained me better than this. Thank you for coming to help me.”
She was relieved that Emma had been nearby.
“It really is okay. This is new for you, it’s understandable.” She could understand why it would be frustrating, people expecting her to be someone else, something else. Emma had a fair share of it in her own world, although it was slightly different.
“You know, after I had the Phoenix, in my world, once she left… My powers were completely out of control. I could barely form a telepathic connection, couldn’t hear anyone.” It’d been frustrating, how greatly altered her control and powers had been. “I just mean… Don’t expect so much of yourself so fast. You can relearn this, you’ve learned it before, it’s just a refresher.”
At least Emma knew she could help, if Jean wanted to let her. “I can help you, if you like.”
"Would you?" Jean asked, because even though she didn't know details of the rivalry between Emma and the Jean that she knew - other than it clearly had something to do with Scott - she had considered that maybe Emma wouldn't want anything to do with her. Especially considering she was dealing with having the Phoenix removed from her.
The Phoenix had become such a part of her that Jean couldn't imagine the emptiness without her.
"I'm glad that you understand," she said softly, feeling calmer even as they talked. She lowered her hands, unhunched her shoulders and stood straight. She noticed that Emma hadn't mentioned telekinetic abilities, that her comments had been focused on telepathy. "I know it must be hard, feeling her but not being able to reach her. But I- I'd, yeah, it'd be great to have some help. The Professor's not here and he's normally who I'd ask." Though she still hadn’t quite forgiven him for hiding her father from her, her eyes flashed briefly before she caught herself and pushed it away.
“She is… consuming.” Emma understood, Emma knew what that was like, having the knowledge and power of the Phoenix, tasting all she knew, all she could do. But it burned too hot and too bright for some people, the Dark side of her coming all too potent. “But I’m no match for her, as much as I used to want to be.” Which was true, Emma used to want to match, be capable of holding onto it.
But after her mind had opened up, shown her the entire world at her fingertips, she heard all the horrible, terrible little secrets out there. No, that wasn’t something she could handle.
“She’s right for you, you’re right for her. You give her a humanity no one else does. So if I can help you, I will.” Not even out of jealousy or spite, but because a Jean in control with the Phoenix was better than a Jean warring with the Phoenix. “I can come to terms with just feeling her from a distance, don’t worry about that.”
Jean smiled a little and nodded her hair, tucking her hair back behind her ear. "I'd appreciate it. I feel off-balance. When she first came to me I felt incredible but it didn't last long." She'd felt so angry, full of pain and the hurts of the world, the constant noise that she couldn't shut out. It wasn't like that here, possibly because of the number of people that weren't really people, that there was only this limited space, but still. Sensitive as she was, it was still a lot.
"Thank you, Emma. For the offer and for helping me today. I should... maybe go home for now and we could start tomorrow?" Emma had, after all, already had her afternoon interrupted enough.
Feeling like the world was at your fingertips, that you could control destiny, it was a rush. Emma knew that much. She had not been able to reign it in, only letting it take over more and more. Even after talking to Scott, worrying about getting a fragment more each time their other avatar comrades were taken out, Emma hadn’t stopped herself from succumbing to the intoxication of power.
“Rest is good, take your time and maybe try some meditation if you feel off balance at all.” Although she hated when Betsy blabbed her way through meditation techniques, Emma had to admit it was useful at the start of power control.
“Just send me a message, mental or otherwise, when you want to start.” If Emma could prove to herself that she could be there for any version of Jean Grey, if she could push down the silly rivalry they’d had their whole adult lives, maybe she could comfort herself with knowing she did deserve a place with the X-Men, even now.