Steve "Fight Me" Rogers (_onyourleft_) wrote in somerealityrpg, @ 2020-02-01 12:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | active: bucky barnes, active: steve rogers |
Who: Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes
What: Serious discussions. Also sandwiches
Where: Their apartment
When: Lunch time
It felt almost uncomfortable to try and relax after all the bad that had been going on in the city, but there they were. And to be fair, Bucky wasn't all that comfortable with relaxing under nearly any circumstance. In the apartment, where he knew he had friends he trusted? That was one of those rare times he could almost let his guard down. Almost.
With Steve it was easiest, because Steve. The presence of his oldest and best friend was enough to cause Bucky’s shoulders to relax, the tension to dissipate a bit. He slid his friend a sandwich across the kitchen table before starting on another one for himself. And probably a few more for each of them. “How's your day going?”
Steve was finding it equally difficult to get used to the fact that everything was, apparently, completely back to normal. He half expected things to go south again if he wasn’t paying attention. He had enough sense to know that was a bit of an overreaction, but here they were. It wasn’t as though he’d have much time to get used to being here before everything had been turned on its head.
“Well,” he accepted the plate passed to him with an amused expression. “Wanda tells me I’m a better baker than you, so I guess it’s going pretty well.” He’d spent the morning with her, and had eventually given into the sad eyes and helped her with the cookies. She hadn’t said anything about his baking prowess (he really didn’t have any), but that was completely irrelevant to him when it came to giving his friend a hard time.
“Oh, fuck you,” Bucky replied easily, rolling his eyes as he focused on making himself a sandwich. Truthfully, he knew he wasn't good at baking, or cooking, or any of it -- but that didn't mean he wouldn't push back against Steve. “No she didn't.”
He sunk into the chair across from his friend and took a bite of his sandwich, shrugging a shoulder. “What'd you make?”
He just laughed at the rebuttal, picking up one half of the sandwich. “Of course she didn’t. But you reacting like that is pretty funny.” He wanted to accuse him of being jealous, but he didn’t actually want to upset him with the teasing.
“We made cookies. Choc chip. They were pretty good. I would have saved you some but I was hungry.” Besides which, Wanda had made a lot, and there were plenty for his friend. He set what remained of the sandwich half back on his plate. “She really likes you a lot.”
Bucky’s gaze rose to meet Steve’s as he mulled over a bite of sandwich, not immediately reacting to what was said. He knew Wanda liked him, despite his reasons why she shouldn't, but it was the first anyone else had brought it up to him.
“What makes you say that?” he asked before taking another bite, his gaze fixed on his friend, waiting for a response.
“What do you mean ‘what makes me say that’?” He asked in a tone that suggested it should have been obvious, meeting the level stare directed at him. “Mostly because she couldn’t stop talking about you.” And, honestly, because he knew how much doubt lived in his friend and he felt like it was his responsibility to try and at least eradicate some of it.
Or maybe he just longed to see his friend happy.
“I don’t understand it personally, but then there’s no accounting for taste. You want another one of those?” He gestured at the empty plate as he got to his feet with his own to make another sandwich.
All the sandwich fixings were still out on the counter, so Bucky gave a soft sound of confirmation at Steve’s question. He knew well enough that Wanda liked him, though Steve's comment about it being a lot was, well, a lot. To be fair, he liked her too -- but was cautious about anything like that because he didn't trust himself.
“After the shit with Grodd… I know we talked before about me letting her in to undo the brainwashing bullshit, but that made me think about it more. Could you be there, whenever it happens?”
“I hope you weren’t thinking there was a chance I wouldn’t be.” He set about making another couple of sandwiches as he spoke. If Bucky had said he didn’t want him there, he honestly didn’t know how he’d manage that. Show up anyway? Maybe, even if it wasn’t what he wanted Steve to do.
He trusted Wanda to know what she was doing, and if she could undo the awful things that had been forced into his friend’s head, he’d be forever grateful. It would be more than he’d ever been able to do for him. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to be there for him in whatever capacity he could.
He reached for Bucky’s plate and set the new sandwich back in front of him before dropping back into his own seat with his own. “I think if it’s going to give you some peace, there’s no reason not to give it a try.”
“She seems pretty confident she can do it.” The thought of it not working, that wasn't something Bucky wanted to consider. That someone was in his head again and what those words could do was still there too. No, it needed to work.
He fell quiet as he ate half of his sandwich, thinking about what Steve said. Peace. He wasn't sure he'd know it if he did find it. “All those people showing up from everyone's different worlds, I kept waiting, you know? Anyone showing up that knows those words and I’m what people would be fighting. Any chance to keep that from happening, gotta at least try, right?”
He knew how hard it would be for him, accepting someone getting inside his head. No matter the purpose. But this was Wanda, and Steve had faith that she could do it. As it was, they had limited options outside of this, and he didn’t want his friend living with that constant fear hanging over his head.
“Who, Buck. Not what.” He corrected his friends choice of word, picking up a slice of tomato that had fallen back onto his plate. “You know I wouldn’t let that happen, right? If the worst happened, and someone showed up and said them. I wouldn’t let you hurt anyone.” Because he was sure that had to be Bucky’s biggest fear. That he’d end up hurting the people he cared about.
Bucky wanted to believe Steve, that he'd be able to stop him if something happened. He'd been able to with Grodd, him and Diana, but that hadn't been the same. He took a bite of his sandwich, chewing slowly before swallowing and giving a slight nod. Steve would do his best, he always did, and Bucky had to trust that, like he always did.
“Thanks. I--” he broke off, brow furrowing as he worked to find the words. “I feel better with you here. When you were gone, it wasn't that long but it felt… I felt not safe. If that makes sense, I don't fucking know…”
It was a lot, what he was saying. A lot in very few words, and Steve understood. He pushed his now empty plate away, one arm resting on the table in front of him. "It makes sense," he cut in, when Bucky trailed off. "When we were younger," and things had been so different, but in so many ways exactly the same, "I always knew I could rely on you. When I was sick, or getting the stuffing beat out of me -" Both of which had been pretty much all the time, to be fair. "- I just felt better. Knowing you were around." Safer, like Bucky had just said.
He met his friends eyes with a steady gaze. "It's no different now. You're stuck with me. Til' the end of the line, right? No matter what happens."
“Til the end of the line,” Bucky repeated, the familiar sentiment grabbing hold deep inside and making him feel steadier. Because that was just it -- they were always better together, in every sense. He scrubbed his hand over his face then let it drop to nudge his plate away. “Even if you ate all the cookies.”