InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Normal Tuesday night for Shia"

Cisco Ramon is an anomaly (onlygoodvibes) wrote in somerealityrpg,
@ 2019-12-29 13:17:00

Entry tags:

active: tony stark, inactive: cisco ramon

Who:Tony and Cisco
What:Cisco's having a rough day
When:Today
Where:The roof
Warnings:TBA but doubtful to be any
Status:On going; thread

The past few days had been shit. Yesterday at least had George in it, made up for some of the string of shit-today however did not. All he'd wanted were actual words, not just a ping back. Ping back he'd gotten, what he didn't expect to get was disregarded. Told Barry had no time for him. That's what'd stung the most. That's where he was hurt, he wanted to have spent time with him-instead he was told Barry didn't have the energy and he interpreted it as not for him. It wasn't a good feeling. It made him feel like he was just bothering the people he was supposed to be close to, so he pushed back. His actions might not have been rational, but people just disappearing from their lives wasn't rational either. Nothing was rational.

Cisco paced on the edge of the roof. His tablet was on the ground somewhere nearby but it was off now. He didn't want more words. He was angry and hurt, and embarrassed ontop of it. It was a wild ride in his brain and he wanted off. He glanced down at the street far below and frowned a little wishing he had flying powers, that might have made him feel less skin crawly. As it were, he didn't-he just paced and quickly.

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notyourplayboy
2019-12-29 10:04 pm UTC (link)

Cisco's texts worried Tony, but Cisco turning off the comms really concerned him. It was unlike Cisco, which made Tony fear the worst. Luckily, Cisco was still in Goodland, but he was clearly in a bad headspace, which Tony could relate to. Granted, his life was mostly grand in Goodland, but that didn't mean he forgot those feelings from home. Besides, panic? Anxiety? Depression? Those things didn't just clear up. Tony still had bad days too. Needless to say, he sprinted up the stairs leading to the roof. He couldn't let Cisco be alone.

"Cisco, my friend." He immediately went for a hug.

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onlygoodvibes
2019-12-29 10:15 pm UTC (link)

Initially he hadn't wanted to be found, but it was like a blip of sanity when he remembered George. George needed to know he was still there after everyone he'd lost and everything that'd happened to him, but beyond that Cisco couldn't just go inside and suck it up this time. He'd stopped so many near attacks that one was likely just inevitable, but he'd hoped it wouldn't happen like this. Things had been so good lately, he felt guilty ontop of it all. Why couldn't he stop this from happening? He'd considered not responding to anyone and just going to get that weed from Solana. He hadn't done it yet, probably for the better considering his state of mind. He had another shrink appointment come Tuesday, but that didn't help him now.

As Tony appeared, he tensed for a minute. Was he going to snap too? Should have just pinged him? Cisco did't fight the hug. It stopped him from pacing literally off the edge. Nobody came too the roof, it'd been nice and quiet for his mental break down for the most part. He hadn't had to worry about snapping at George. "I should have left it at a ping." The words probably didn't make much sense, but he was struggling with words at all.

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notyourplayboy
2019-12-29 11:01 pm UTC (link)

Tony squeezed the obviously distraught young man in his arms. Ping? Tony didn't know what that meant. Something with the comms? Is that what prompted Cisco to shut them down? Tony knew Cisco pretty well by then and he knew that comm service was like a child to Cisco; something big pushed Cisco into closing them down. Granted, something "big" could have been something small by another person's standards, but Tony knew anxiety affected judgement. And who was anyone else to call it small anyway? Whatever happened -whatever triggered - the attack might have been the last thing in a line of "small" incidents. No one thing or one person could be to blame; anxiety didn't work like that. Anxiety was like a war in one's own mind.

"Well, I'm glad you texted me," Tony said finally. "I thought the entity got it into its head to make you disappear too and that? That would drive me up here." His last words were spoken lightly, but his eyes showed how serious he was about needing Cisco in Goodland. Tony knew a lot of people, but he was only really close to a few, Cisco included.

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onlygoodvibes
2019-12-30 01:01 am UTC (link)

In Cisco's state it was probably good he hadn't actually followed through with getting himself the weed, or he'd probably try to fly off that roof the way he was feeling. He was still sober, feeling literally all the pain in the moment of the pain and his mind was going haywire. All kinds of red flags were going off, Tony was a stable force he needed just then. He didn't initiate any touch in return yet, but after a moment or two he finally leaned into it. He was embarrassed he'd let his clouded judgement take so much control and turned off the comlinks entirely.

At those words he finally did grip at him a little. he could see the expression on his face when he did look up briefly. But it was only brief, any self control he had left over his emotions was lost. Words were hard to come by, and he curled into that embrace. For a place called Goodland it was just so damn hard sometimes. "I'm sorry-I should have thought.." Thought it through more maybe. He didn't know where to go with that, or if he trusted his voice to continue that line of thought out loud anymore.

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	notyourplayboy 2020-01-01 02:51 pm UTC (link)
	Tony patted Cisco's back. "It is okay," he said softly, almost like he was talking to one of his kids. "No harm done, yeah? Thanks for letting me come up." Not that Tony would have stayed away. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

onlygoodvibes
2020-01-01 03:03 pm UTC (link)

Cisco was a wreck, and he was frustrated with himself. Things had been going so well, and yet there he was having a breakdown. "I keep worrying people." or burdening them, or both. He gripped at him until that quiet crying finally stopped. "I didn't want to be found. But maybe it's not so bad." A weak smile in response. "I don't know if I'll be in tomorrow..Can't think." it was like he was lost in a fog. Tony was the only thing keeping him steady just then.

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	notyourplayboy 2020-01-02 11:06 pm UTC (link)
	Tony chuckled. "Good, you need a break," he answered as Cisco calmed down. He released him and took a few steps back. "People worry because they care. Don't feel guilty about that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

onlygoodvibes
2020-01-03 03:13 pm UTC (link)

Cisco frowned at the idea of a break, but it was probably true. He did need one that wasn't enforced by the nature of the place they were in. ".. I turned off the coms." He apparently hadn't even processed what he'd done. He wasn't connected to anything now. For Cisco that was a scary thing. He rubbed tired eyes and nodded. "thank you.. Things have been good. I just..." was a little bit broken maybe. Why did he get attacks still? "I was a day away from another shrink appointment and now who knows when." it was frustrating for him to be in another new place this time.

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	notyourplayboy 2020-01-03 06:06 pm UTC (link)
	"You have me until then," Tony replied. "You'll see, it will past again. Maybe talk to George soon though, hm?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2020-01-04 04:25 pm UTC (link)
	Cisco nodded to that and folded his arms uncomfortably. He just wanted to be normal sometimes. "If I disappear for a few days, poke me I guess? I don't know, feel a lot like becoming a hermit." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notyourplayboy 2020-01-04 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	Tony could understand that; sometimes people just needed time away from everything. "I will," he promised. "If you want, I can bugger off or we could just sit here and be quiet. Up to you, man." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	onlygoodvibes 2020-01-04 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	"Sitting up here sounds good. Not ready to go back in. You can stay." He was trying not to push people away, but going back inside sounded claustrophobic as hell, and he couldn't deal with that just yet. (Reply to this) (Parent)