Wry and Watchful (wryandwatchful) wrote in solsticerp, @ 2011-04-30 11:19:00 |
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Entry tags: | jesse, july 2 2009, tayne |
Thursday: Consequences
Who: Jesse and Tayne
Where: the dreamworld
When: the wee hours
Jesse seemed to feel safest on the catwalk of the lighthouse, suspended between sea and sky, and it was there that he was lying, not minding the hardness of the iron walkway beneath him. His body was still, his posture relaxed, his face with its opaquely fogged over eyes turned up toward the heavens. He'd been wandering in dreams ever since the dark had fallen like a curtain over the horizon.
He'd been searching for the girl who wanted to kill herself, but he'd found no trace of her. Thus far, he hadn't encountered anyone he knew. The dreams had been either mundane or non-disturbing, and gradually he realized that he was walking in that amorphous space between one dream and the next. He was surrounded by fog, but he patiently picked his way along, feeling the sand beneath his feet give way to what felt like pavement or concrete. The air became cooler, the wind stronger, and he wondered where he would emerge. Squinting through the darkness, Jesse soon found that he could see vague shapes up ahead. It was some sort of building, surrounded by cacti. Huge ones. It was still dark out here, but he couldn't tell if it was dusk or just before dawn.
Holed up inside that building, with guns and knives and even a heavy fireman's hatchet, was Tayne. Rather than the cocky confidence he displayed in his last dreams, tonight he was tense and stalking the room, checking his weapons and his rough armor-- thick, hardened leather, protecting the biggest and easiest veins to get to-- and then stalking across the room again. They were coming. He knew they were coming, to wreak punishment on him for all his sins. He'd go down fighting, even if it meant more sin. More death.
"Can't just let them take me down," he growled under his breath as he paced some more, visible through the barred-up window on the military-like checkpoint station. "Even if I deserve it. And I don't! I was just doing what I know to do. That's all."
Jesse saw Tayne through the window, and he wondered if he was about to get shot. He also wondered about Tayne's dreams; thus far, they'd been laced with liberal doses of action, adventure and fighting. He found that interesting for what seemed to be a mild-mannered priest, really. He hesitated just outside the door, actually lifting a hand to knock before deciding that would be foolish. Quickly, he opened the door and slipped inside, hoping that Tayne would realize it was him before deciding to pump him full of bullets. Would it hurt if he got shot in the dreamworld?
Jesse's presence didn't count as threatening, even in dreams. The opening of the door did, though, and Tayne leapt for the nearest weapon, a rusty-looking machete. When he turned, blade in hand and ready to lop off some heads, he saw Jesse and the point came down. "What are you doing here?" he asked, torn somewhere between guilt, fear, and utter shock. Tayne was expecting enemies and battle and just-- not just, dammit!-- punishment for his crimes, and instead he got a friend. A friend who he really didn't want involved in all this....
Jesse wasn't sure quite what to say when Tayne asked him what he was doing here. Walking in your dream didn't seem as if it would be a valid-- or easily believed-- answer. "I was outside, an' I saw you through the window," he said, which was technically the truth. He made sure the door was shut and moved back away from the line of sight of anyone who might be outside. "What's happening here?" he asked, hoping Tayne wouldn't find it weird that he didn't know already.
And he had to ask, didn't he? Tayne was stymied for an answer, and he tossed the machete away, letting it clatter loudly to the floor, on top of a few more weapons. After his jaw working a moment, all he could come up with was: "Consequences. You shouldn't be here. I don't want you to be hurt-- there's nothing to stop-- nothing to keep you safe, here. I'm not going to be able to." That last came out bitterly. Keeping people safe-- he hadn't done that, at all, had he? Not ever, maybe. Justice. The walls rumbled with it, but he wasn't under attack. Not yet.
Consequences. What could Tayne feel guilty about, what could he have possibly done that would manifest itself in this sort of dream? Jesse wasn't any sort of psychoanalyst, but he had more than a passing grasp on psychology given his years of counseling teenagers and the occasional adult. "I can keep myself safe," he said mildly, "if I need to. Don't worry about me." He looked around again, taking in the weapons that were scattered across the small room. "Should we leave, or is it safer to stay here?"
Somehow, Tayne doubted that, and he really, really didn't want Jesse hurt on account of him. He didn't want anyone else hurt on account of him-- except the ones coming to kill me, of course-- and if Jesse was here, he would be. "This is defensible," Tayne answered shortly, nervous and angry and inexplicably wanting to break down on the other man's shoulder. "But... but not impenetrable." Yes, in his dreams, Tayne got to use big words! "You won't leave?" he asked, all but pleading.
Jesse wasn't concerned about being hurt. He honestly didn't think he could sustain permanent injury in the dreamworld. Of course, Tayne didn't know that, and he'd be understandably anxious. He took the other man's words to mean that they should stay here and defend their turf, and he nodded. When Tayne asked if Jesse would leave, he answered immediately. "No. I'm not leavin' you." He was still calm and decisive, hoping that would help calm Tayne down, too. Tayne might prefer that he not be here so he wouldn't risk injury, but even if Jesse'd wanted to, he wasn't sure if he could leave. As far as he understood, the dreamworld was under the dreamer's control.
"Goddammit," Tayne growled, and the walls rumbled again, making an ominous sound much like a growl. "Then get a goddamned weapon, or get behind me, or something!" Because they were coming, and he wasn't letting an innocent get hurt. And Jesse, whoever he was to him in wakefulness or in this dream, always counted as an innocent. He snatched up a sawed-off and aimed it at the window, where the stars and the desert road had been blocked out by a flood of-- something. He stepped in front of Jesse, between him and the oncoming wave of justice, and fired once, shattering the glass.
Jesse had to force himself not to wince at the repeated use of the g-word, which had never crossed his own lips and which he'd never quite been able to get used to, no matter how often it was used in popular movies and shows. He was in the dreamworld, and this wasn't the time to get prissy. He picked up a gun-- he had no idea what specifically it was, but maybe that wouldn't matter-- and got into a defensive stance with it behind Tayne, since his friend had stepped in front of him. "I'm ready," he said, still sounding calm and sure. What would happen if he actually fired the gun? he wondered idly.
And this was from a "time" before Tayne started watching what he said, too. He nodded once to Jesse's words, then did a quick reload from the chamber, sighed, and fired out the now-broken window, again. It didn't seem to make much of a difference in the oncoming surge of darkness-- darkness that was made up of dozens, maybe hundreds of dark, featureless shapes of blackness that only vaguely resembled men and beasts. Now and then a fang, claw, or eye flashed, but mostly it was an amorphous mass that converged on the little waystation, and blocked out all outside light. Tayne fired again, and again, but nothing fell, and the shots might as well not have been fired.
Jesse started firing, too, and surprisingly enough, he didn't have any trouble despite not really knowing how to do it. He could see the amorphous things approaching, and he couldn't tell if any of his bullets were hitting them, but he kept at it nonetheless. It was amazing to him how his gun didn't seem to need to be reloaded; he'd thought they ran out of ammo fairly quickly. Well, he wasn't going to question it, not when there was imminent danger (kind of) and a seemingly desperate situation. He felt a bit like he was in one of those war movies that he'd used to see on TV if he'd happened to be awake in the middle of the night.
Jesse's bullets did a little good, where Tayne's didn't have any affect at all: a couple patches of darkness fell. It wasn't enough, though, because there were more shadowy creatures to fill the void. They started pounding on the door and the walls, making a dreadful wailing noise, underscored with a sibilant hiss that was almost-- but not quite-- words. A few surged through the window, and Tayne gave up on his gun, snatching up the nearest bladed weapon, a fireman's axe, to take a swing at the nearest.
Seeing how little good anything they tried seemed to do was demoralizing. Jesse wasn't really frightened, but he did have a pervasive sense of unease as the creatures advanced and began spilling through the broken window. He tossed the gun aside as Tayne began attacking with the axe he'd just picked up and, without really thinking about it, he lifted both hands and sent brilliant light spilling from them. It was nearly blinding, and he did his best to aim it at the invading shadows who seemed bent on overwhelming the both of them.
The creatures were mostly aiming for Tayne-- Jesse was more of an obstacle than a target. They focused their attacks on Tayne, who swung with a kind of hopeless ferocity, sure he was going to die. If it weren't for Jesse there, to see him, to fall after him, he might even have let them do it. But there was Jesse... and he wouldn't leave Jesse alone to this. So, he fought.
Until suddenly there was nothing to hit. With a high-pitched keen, the shadow-shapes reared back and away from them both, away from-- light. There was light everywhere, surrounding him, and he squinted in it. The creatures bent on revenge surged around it, away from it, hissing and snarling. Tayne risked a glance over his shoulder, and there was Jesse, making... light. From his hands. And keeping away certain death. Well, that was impressive-- and kind of embarrassing, that Jesse was "saving the day"....
It was reassuring to see the malevolent shadows slinking away from the dual beams of light Jesse was sending in their direction. It gave him hope that they actually could get out of this situation unscathed. He realized that he was throwing himself into the scenario and temporarily forgetting that it wasn't real. It was the dreamworld. Still, he'd prefer to shift this from a nightmare into a less frightening dream if he could. "Should I keep goin'?" he asked. "It's gettin' to 'em."
"I-- uh. Yeah. Yeah, we should get out of here, once... once we can." Tayne, of course, was caught up in it all, and he finally shook off his surprise and started swinging his axe again, trying to take advantage of the distraction. If Jesse could hold them off... keep them back... maybe they could get to his truck! Which, his dreaming self decided, was just out on the highway in front of the building. Jesse's light did more good than his axe, but he was trying, too!
"Okay," Jesse said, relieved that they had a plan now. He didn't like fumbling around in the dark, literally or metaphorically. He focused his concentration, brightening the light that spilled from his fingers and advancing forward as Tayne and his axe did. It was intriguing how the shadow-shapes snarled and drew back, almost like the light he was emitting was physically painful to them. Maybe it was. He considered it his job to cast out darkness in any manner of ways, and this wasn't much of a stretch, really.
With Jesse clearing the way for them, it didn't even take more than a few minutes to get out of the building. Tayne shoved the door open with his shoulder, letting the light spill out onto the seething mass of "justice" outside, that hadn't managed to batter the door down themselves yet. They all seemed to take this as defeat, and surged back, taking the tide of evil blackness with them.
We'll get you next time, their hissing seemed to say. There will be repayment. Blood for blood....
Tayne didn't even let his axe fall, as he ran for his truck. Just in case they changed their mind. "Get in!" he called to Jesse.
Jesse ran for the truck, as instructed, not letting the light die down from his fingers until he'd pulled the door open and flung himself inside. He noticed again that, as usual in the dreamworld, his hands didn't buzz and tingle with static when he used the light as they did in the waking world. He wasn't sure what to make of that, but he was grateful. As he waited for Tayne to get in, he saw that there wasn't any more light in the sky than there'd been before, so he still had no idea what time it was. Not that it mattered, really.
Swinging in on the other side, Tayne started up the engine-- more with the thought that it should be running now, than with a key-- and tossed the axe on the seat between them. Then he was gunning it out of there, along the highway, and he could let the breath out of his lungs at last, in a long, deep sigh that belied the tense grip he had on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry," he said, teeth closed tight so that it sounded almost pained when it came out. "You shouldn't've been there."
It was a relief to be moving, creating distance between them and the strange, sere landscape with its towering cacti and spare, squatty concrete building where the shadows had advanced on them. The thrum of the engine was comforting, somehow. Jesse turned his head to look at his friend when Tayne apologized. "It's not your fault I was there," he replied. "Don't worry about it." What he was more concerned about was why Tayne had been there.
"If you're gonna be showing up randomly when there's trouble, damned if I'm not gonna worry," Tayne grumbled. He did finally free up one hand from the steering wheel, a minute later, to fumble over for Jesse's. It was the only affection he'd allow himself, at the moment, but he did need just a little touch... just a little. At least someone didn't think he deserved to die. "Just glad you're okay."
At least Tayne wasn't questioning him about why specifically he kept showing up, Jesse thought. That was something, at least, because he didn't know what he'd tell his friend if he did ask. He hadn't pondered exactly what might happen if he told a dreamer they were dreaming. Would it wake them up, or would they consider it simply another part of said dream? When Tayne reached for his hand, Jesse grasped it without really thinking about it. In the dreamworld, more things seemed possible and acceptable than they did in reality. "I'm fine," he replied. "I'm glad you are, too. Where're we going now?"
"Dunno. Somewhere... anywhere. Maybe somewhere safe." Though where that might be, Tayne didn't know. Somewhere where there was plenty of light and locked doors and... he didn't even know. Somewhere. He kept Jesse's hand, sliding his fingers through Jesse's and holding tight, for his own reassurance more than anything else. "If you've got any suggestions, lay 'em on me."
Jesse thought of the cacti he'd seen and mused, "I wonder if we're in Arizona? I was never there, but I've seen pictures." He knew that Tayne didn't like water, and there wouldn't be much water here. "You think if we keep drivin', we'll find daylight?" Now that the danger was over-- at least for the moment-- this felt like a road trip, or maybe an adventure. He squeezed Tayne's hand very lightly, as if he could somehow send reassurance through his skin, like osmosis.
It might even have worked. Just having a hand to hold helped, really. Already Tayne was relaxing. "Why don't you just bring me some?" he suggested with a little smile. "You're a good sun." He'd surely gotten bright enough for daylight, back there. And he'd be happy to bask in Jesse-made warmth, at the moment-- or whenever, he supposed, though in the dream all that mattered was the moment.
I can't. It isn't my dream, Jesse almost said. Luckily, he stopped himself before the words actually emerged. He couldn't light up the sky outside, but he could bring light into the car, couldn't he? He held his free hand up at chest level and focused on his palm, which soon produced a mellow, gaslight sort of flame, not so bright that it would interfere with Tayne's vision as he drove but definitely warm and cheerful. "It's not daylight, but it's kinda nice, huh?" he said, his gaze shifting to Tayne's face, as if for approval.
He got it. Tayne-- with no real need to pay attention to the road, when it was one, deserted, and two, a dream-road that he essentially controlled-- watched with a warm little smile that was definitely approving. And probably a little something else, too, but he wasn't being too forward about the affection, this time. "Def'nitely nice," he agreed. "Thank you. Even if I don't want you... there--" "There" being someplace that had receded to something dark and vague in the past, now. "--I like having you here." Okay, maybe it was a little more forward about the affection now. But that's what you got, playing around in the subconscious of a man with a crush on you!
Jesse watched Tayne, taking in the expression the other man wore and finding that his emotions about it were mixed. He didn't want to do anything to hurt him or lead him in a direction they could not go for numerous reasons, but at the same time, it felt nice to be looked at that way, to feel cared for. Whatever he might be now-- formerly human, supernatural, solid-formed ghost... who knew?-- he was not immune to ordinary human needs, such as the ones for friendship and affection. "I like bein' here," he said simply. He'd noticed that he wound up in Tayne's dreams quite a bit, and it wasn't because he went looking for them, or for him. He didn't know how to do that. He walked in dreams, and he ended up wherever he ended up.
Whatever Tayne saw in the look he got back, it made him smile more, and he lifted their joined hands to kiss the back of Jesse's, his expression very warm, indeed. Probably to Jesse's relief, he left it at that, though, and focused back on the road-- not that he let Jesse's hand go, of course, but at least he wasn't kissing him again. "We'll find somethin' fun to do." Like climb a tree or go flying or anything at all. "There" was no longer an issue, and all he wanted was to relax and hang out with his dreamwalking friend.
The flame Jesse held in his free hand flared, temporarily brightening the front of the car, and then dimmed again when Tayne kissed the back of his hand. He set the flame-hand on his thigh and quickly looked to the road, himself, hoping that he wasn't blushing. "Somethin' fun," he replied. "Sounds good." It might be his imagination-- he couldn't be sure as he squinted through the windshield-- but he thought he could see a glimmer of light from somewhere up ahead. Maybe they were driving into the sunrise; wouldn't that be nice?