InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Do I Dazzle You?"

starksnark (starksnark) wrote in solitarycomm,
@ 2013-03-21 18:38:00

Entry tags:

steve rogers (truebluehero), tony stark (starksnark)

Who: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers
What: Depressed Tony, possibly depressed Steve
When: Backdated Wednesday Night
Where: Tony's place
Warnings: Angst? Probably.

Steve would be the first person to step into Tony's apartment since Pepper left, and that realization had him cleaning more than he usually would. The place wasn't exactly a disaster, and he was able to get all of this clothes off of the floor, but there were subtle signs of abnormal behavior around the place. There was a blanket draped over the back of the couch and a full sized pillow in the corner; he had been sleeping outside of the bedroom recently. By the time Steve had arrived Tony was already three drinks in, and he opened the door for his friend before walking back into the dark room.

"You know, I really liked this tower." He started off, flipping the lights on mostly for Steve, and sitting again on the modern couch in the middle of his large living room. He poured two drinks, shifting one across the table to the seat beside him. "I know it doesn't do much, don't make me drink alone." It was a request, even though it didn't sound like one.

"We're probably going to have to move. Leave this place behind." He looked up at the ceiling. "My suits, everything. I'll have to rebuild it from the ground up, and it's not going to be as easy as it was last time when those blocks appeared out of no where." Because this was much easier to talk about than the other thing. The thing about people leaving. "Not like we have a construction crew. It's going to be hard."

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

truebluehero
2013-03-22 06:06 am UTC (link)

Nothing in this new world had been right, not from the first day they'd found themselves in this strange land and empty city. There was no comfort, only loss, and that was what he suspected was going on here. With the information that Anna had shared he'd known at the time that he should have spoken with Tony about it, should have told him what she's told him about the role choice had to play, but he didn't. Couldn't. He wasn't entirely sure he believed it himself; others had clearly wanted to leave and had taken efforts to do so, but they had remained until they resigned themselves to this fate. Then and only then had they disappeared.

Steve kept his own council as Tony led the way, and he was a little surprised by the darkness of the place. When the lights came on they revealed a house that was in order yet disordered in small ways, and most disordered of all was Tony. The man offered the drink and Steve noted it, but he didn't drink. He listened instead, and slowly took the proffered seat and reached for the glass. He held it with both hands and listened to the loss in Tony's voice as he spoke. The loss of the world he'd known and the people in it, the building he'd built and everything he held dear and familiar. If anyone knew how that felt it was Steve.

"You won't have to leave the suits, not all of them," he offered before he took the offered seat and leaned on the table. "You don't need the tower. You can rebuild, and unless we're going back in time I don't think you'll have a problem."

But it wasn't the suits, it wasn't the building. Steve suspected he knew what it was, because he'd been thinking the same thing. They'd get to that soon enough.

"We'll survive, like we always have."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

starksnark
2013-03-22 07:27 am UTC (link)

It was weird, his relationship with Steve. Tony wasn't usually one to keep 'friends', especially after what happened with Stane. He had Rhodey and now he was gone, but the relationship between them was less mutual than the friendship he had slowly formed with Rogers. There was a certain kinship there that even Tony didn't quite understand, and although he and Rhodey had fought together in the past, Steve's moral simplicity seemed to keep Tony grounded. There was an unspoken understanding between them. Tony had things he didn't exactly want to be rushed into talking about, and Steve didn't rush him. It was the first time someone had respected Tony's pace of healing, people usually tried to force him into talking, perhaps to try and avoid his self destruction from kicking in, but not Steve. That was probably why he was the one sitting in Tony's apartment, not Clint, Natasha or Thor. That, and out of all of them, Steve would understand the most. Tony knew that much about him.

"At least one of them is portable, that's true." He said it a bit blankly, staring off at his wall as he finished his glass. "I suppose I can rebuild it again. It was easier with Toni's help last time, the designs were done twice as fast, but if I bring the blueprints that shouldn't be an issue." Silence. "You saw what Anna said?" His jaw tightened and his body tensed as he wrestled with himself to repeat the words. "About them wanting to leave?" He gave a crooked smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I was just able to sleep in my own bed again and then she dropped that one on us."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

truebluehero
2013-03-22 02:58 pm UTC (link)

"I could carry one, I doubt the suit is so heavy that I couldn't lift it. Could JARVIS help, maybe control one... or all of them? He runs the tower, right?"

Steve truly didn't believe a man would accept help until he wanted it, and Tony was no different. It worried Steve to watch him like this, but he was also understood that this was Tony's way of asking for help. Somewhat. Like his father before him the man had quite the ego (justified by his intellect), and like his father before him the man had become a friend.

"Of all the eggheads I know... you're my favorite, Mr. Stark."
"I bet you say that to all the geniuses..."

Had the memory come at any other time Steve might have smiled, but this wasn't the time. This was serious, as indicated by Tony's own false smile. This was the subject he suspected would come up.

"I saw it," he replied with a small nod and a soft exhale. "I'm just not sure I believe it. If it was true, then that Spike fella would've been gone and we wouldn't have had the escape attempt. A lot of people would've been gone."

It didn't make any sense to him at all, but the fact of the matter was that in some cases people who wanted to leave did in fact leave. That didn't explain the rest.

"You don't believe it, do you?" he asked, although the fact that Tony was in this condition indicated that perhaps he did. "I don't."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

starksnark
2013-03-23 08:51 pm UTC (link)

"JARVIS is going to end up being dismantled, I'm not leaving him here to be abused by whatever finds this place after we leave, if it's still around." He shrugged, staring off again. "I can rebuild him wherever we're going if I have the technology to do it." He fell into another silent spell when Steve said that he didn't believe it, and Tony wanted to listen, but he couldn't.

"Of course I believe it." He glanced down at his empty glass bitterly before filling it again. "It doesn't make sense but this Carter guy knows what he's talking about when it comes to this place. I don't doubt that Toni wanted to leave, she was a mess." He sipped his glass. "She took the 'fun' out of 'functioning alcoholic.' But Pepper?"

He hesitated before looking at Steve and he stared at the man for a long moment. "I don't want to believe it, but I can't get my brain in the right place anymore, Steve. I've been trying." Anger crept into his voice. "I can't even sleep in my own bed anymore. Every time I feel like we catch a break something like this happens and I'm mentally tossed back into square one. I want to help these people, my entire purpose is to help, but I can't do that if-"

He trailed off and set his glass down, leaning back into his couch. His voice lost its edge. "...It knows exactly where to hit us."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

truebluehero
2013-03-24 01:01 pm UTC (link)

"Which is why I don't believe it," he countered before he pushed his glass aside and folded his hands on the table. "I don't believe for a minute that Pepper would want to leave you, how can you believe that? I do not believe that Bucky wanted to go back to- " he exhaled and shook his head before he continued, because he believed he knew what waited for Bucky outside of this city.

"I don't believe Peggy wanted to leave, not Dr. Banner either, and not even Toni." His comment was a little passionate when he mentioned her name; part of him wanted to rebuff the insult, but at the same time he knew that she had cultivated these feelings in the others. Unless he was willing to spill his secret (and unless he was asked directly), it was best to let it go. All of it.

"Do you honestly think that in the nine months I've been here I haven't wanted to leave? Hell, I've been here longer than I was in the so-called normal, modern New York." Steve huffed and looked at his drink. It had been a shock then, to see what had changed and how very different the world was- the world he'd fought to save, the one he wasn't supposed to have lived in. This one was so very different, constant in its inconsistency, ever shifting and unstable. The fact that it made the team have second thoughts and doubts... well, that was just another manipulation to him. One that couldn't be allowed to be successful.

"Don't think you aren't helping, Tony," he continued. "You are, you're providing a safe haven. Don't plan to lose everything yet though, we don't know that everything is going to be lost. For all we know the city could move like it did before."

There was another side to this though, one that people seemed hesitant to consider. Those who had been there longer than him may have known something he didn't, but they hadn't shared- and he hadn't asked. Maybe it was time.

"Look, we don't know this Carter person, and fewer still have seen him. How do we know he's not the cause of the manipulation? He says he's helping us, but what guarantee do we have?" Tony had every right to be angry and upset, but he had to have some hope to hang on to, they all did. "Everything that that has happened to us since we've been here has been designed to find our weaknesses and use them against us, exploit them. Our ties to others are our bonds, and you have to hold on to that. If you let it get to you, if you break... Tony, it'll win."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

starksnark
2013-03-26 07:54 am UTC (link)

He paused when he heard the tone Steve used when he mentioned Toni, and for a moment, his interest was peaked. He seemed more passionate about her disappearance, even after mentioning Bucky and Peggy, and there was a creeping fear in Tony's heart that she had done something to Steve. Something that Tony himself used to do to women like Steve.

"She was a good person." He began cautiously. "But she was a manipulator. Not malicious, she did it because of her own problems, but the team is better off without her here." He was glancing at Steve. "Everyone is better off without her here. Believe me. I would know." He sipped his drink then, and finally allowed himself to consider what his friend was saying. Because that had to be put out of the way first. If something was happening between Toni and Steve... well, first it was hilarious, because that would be Steve getting frisky with a version of himself, but on a more important level of things, it was dangerous. Steve wasn't a stupid man, he was wise beyond his years but he didn't know Tony's reputation like the rest of them had. When they met, he was with Pepper, and his... public episodes significantly lessened since then. The person he used to be was the person that Toni was, and the thought that she would have been willing to play with the feelings of Steve was infuriating to him. She knew no limits. She was selfish, narcissistic, she felt no guilt over leaving Steve behind because it was about her, not him. Not anyone else. She was the most important thing in her life, stewing in her own self-pity, preferring to cry about her problems instead of fix them, and turning her back on those who needed her because it was convenient to-

God, he hated himself.
He finished another glass.

"It doesn't make sense. Pepper-" He hesitated. Talking about his relationship was something that Tony just didn't do, because when he talked, he got himself in trouble. But again, this was Steve, not some tabloid, not a gossip, just Steve. "Pepper loves me, I know that. But she doesn't need me. Not like I need her. She smart, independent, she's gorgeous, logically there would have been no reason for her to stay here. She could have a life back home, the only thing that could have possible kept her here was me." He fell silent, his voice softening when he continued. "Maybe that wasn't enough when it came to bells and paper flowers. I always thought that maybe one day she would leave me, I can't say I don't understand if this is what made her do it." He didn't look upset, just... concentrated. He was thinking, because maybe it really was that simple. Maybe she left not because she didn't love him, but because he wasn't worth sticking around in a place like this. It wasn't worth watching him put himself in constant danger for a group of people she didn't even know... couldn't even talk to.

"If Carter wanted us dead he would have done it by now. He had more than enough opportunities to do it, especially with Bruce gone. Even with us here, he knows what it would take. ...Maybe at some point we should see this Carter guy ourselves." He paused for a moment, and making a mental full circle he suddenly said in a way that probably seemed quite random,

"I don't know if anything was going on between you and Toni, but if there was you have to let her go. If you haven't already." At first he wasn't looking at Steve but he seemed to change his mind, and he turned to face him. Maybe it was the alcohol talking. More specifically, maybe if he pissed Steve off he could tell him tomorrow that it was the alcohol talking, because right now, it wasn't. "She was a mess and she would have made a disaster of whatever it was you were both involved in. The self destructive lone wolf act wasn't a phase she was going through. She didn't play well with others. Believe me, I know." Because that was who he was, before he had Pepper. The realization was slowly dawning on him that talking about Toni was, practically, talking about himself. Just before he tried so hard to get his act together for the bossy redhead. It was the perfect 'then' and 'now' commercial, right in front of them.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

truebluehero
2013-03-27 03:10 am UTC (link)

Steve held Tony's eyes while the man warned him off, but why bother? It ultimately didn't matter, they were gone, all of them. The things he said may have, in fact, been true, but there were aspects that all the warnings in the world didn't change.

"But she wasn't you, even if she had your name," he started. "Different life experiences forged two different people. I still think she needed someone to believe in her, but I never could convince... doesn't matter, I've let her go. I let go of Peggy twice now, and Bucky. Seems to be a pattern for me, and unlike Pepper I really don't believe they're coming back. Pepper has been here several times, and for all we know each one might have come from a different world, not even the one we're from. Hell, how do we know we're from the same world, Tony?"

Steve pulled the drink toward him, turning the glass on the table before he downed it; it wasn't as though he had to be careful, but getting drunk for the sake of getting drunk really wasn't something he wanted to do often- had he still been able to do so.

"I don't know Pepper well, but I don't believe for a minute that the desire to stay with you wasn't enough. Anna said that choice was a factor, but she also said that the powers that brought us here could decide that these people were not needed here anymore too." A point which seemed to have been forgotten. "Maybe she wished to leave, maybe she wished to leave with you and it didn't work. Maybe you've wished to leave and won't admit it, I know I have. But Tony, every single Pepper that came here searched for you. You're clearly enough for her."

Steve leaned back and shrugged. "Maybe she keeps showing up here because of you. Maybe we draw people here, and even though this power that runs the place keeps sending them back, someone with a strong will influences this... whatever it is," he said as he waved his hand as though motioning to everything around them, or dismissing it all. "Maybe sheer will brings people here too. Don't doubt it, crazier things have happened here- and don't doubt her."

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -