Who: Nora and Alec What: parentage secrets and stress Where: Alec's place When: December 10th, late afternoon Rating: Medium Warnings: Mentions of possible miscarriage, language
There were very few times in Nora's life since she began practicing professional journalism that she was blindsided by something. But she supposed there was a first time for everything, and today happened to be that day. More than anything, she hoped Alec hadn't had a chance to read the papers yet, meaning he had a few more moments of peace, and blissful ignorance to believe in his truth. That would end soon though. Even if he didn't read it himself, Nora had the sneaking suspicion someone else in his life wouldn't manage to keep their giant mouth shut for very long. That was an entirely different can of worms that she couldn't quite manage to get into right now though.
Leaving work on time for the first day in what felt like two weeks, she made her way back to Alec's apartment to wait. Nora wasn't sure how long she had, or how to even handle this! What if he hadn't heard by the time he came home? Would she have to break it to him? What if he had heard and he didn't even come home? How badly would this rattle him? No matter what… Nora loved him. His parentage didn't matter to her, but that wasn't the point. This wasn't about her, this was about Alec, who had believed his entire life a certain woman was his mother, and for that private aspect of his life to be shattered on a public platform? Even she rarely sunk that low. It infuriated her to no end.
She was pacing the kitchen when a sharp pain rumbled through her abdomen, and she hissed sharply, running a hand over her stomach, a confusing look clouding her features. After a few deep breaths though it subsided, and she went back to worrying about the man she loved. Thankfully, she didn't have to wait too long, hearing the front door open as she hopped up on the kitchen counter, swinging her legs patiently as she waited to see him. It was her favorite spot, a place she nearly always was waiting to greet him with a smile on her face when he came home. Today would be no different, she decided, if only because in that moment, familiarity was important.
---
A number of emotions seemed to have been fighting for dominance in his mind since he'd read the paper. Hell, if he wasn't mistaken, he had caught himself going through the five fucking stages of grief. Denial had been an obvious one-- of course he hadn't wanted it to be true, had wanted to deny it with every single fibre of his being. How could it be? He had had two loving parents. Couldn't that have been enough? Why did it need to be more complicated?
That was when he'd begun to put the pieces together. No pictures had ever existed of his mother being pregnant. He didn't even resemble her to start with. And-- likely the most damning of all pieces of evidence-- he hadn't spent time in Azkaban the way that Sophie had.
Anger trickled in like an old friend, lodging itself solidly in his mind, ready and evidently eager to stay. Why hadn't his father ever told him? Why hadn't fucking Carrow ever told him? Why had he been too stupid to realize it until a bloody fucking newspaper pointed it out to him?
He resisted the urge to slam the door shut upon his return home. Nora didn't need to deal with this. She'd already get to welcome her boyfriend with what was likely the darkest look on his face that she'd ever have seen on him.
"I assume you've seen," he said simply, his voice oddly calm as he hung his keys up.
---
Nora had expected this. Okay, no, that was a lie. She had expected it, but actually seeing the look on his face was entirely different. He looked dangerous, and while she had to admit it was sort of hot, she knew now was not the time to be thinking of such things.
"I have. One of the upsides and downsides of working with the worst people on the planet. You're always up on the news, even if you don't want to be." She shrugged it off, slipping off the counter and motioning towards the cupboard. "Want me to pour you a drink?" Merlin, if she could take away his pain and anger in that moment, she would. Nora would do anything for the man in front of her, and she hated to see him so rattled. Because even though his voice was calm, she knew better. She was capable of reading people better than most, if only because her profession. But knowing Alec even deeper than that… it was easy to see the effect beneath the surface.
"Who are you more upset with, Alec? Your father? Or her?" It wasn't fair or her to ask, but he needed to get it out somehow. And just merely asking if he wanted to talk? She was well aware she would be shut down. No, questions where they gave the other person an option to answer never worked. Another small cramp settled in her abdomen, but she chalked that up to worry about the man standing in front of her because quite frankly, it was true.
---
"Mm." He should have known. Had, probably, deep down, and just simply hadn't considered it at the time, his mind occupied… elsewhere than in her work. Her question, however, was a welcome one, and he slowly nodded. "Uh, yeah." He needed it today, to say the least.
Running his hand down his face, he moved to sit at the kitchen counter, just letting his head rest back against the wall. He wasn't sure if he would have preferred to go to Azkaban with Sophie over this emotional fallout. Hell, probably. What an absolute shitshow.
Letting his eyes close, he allowed her words to wash over her, trying to ignore the almost painful tension in his gut at the thought. He could hardly even process any of his anger, let alone pinpoint it properly. Fucking hell. "All of the above and then some." He resisted the urge to growl. "I'm probably angriest at myself for not realizing it sooner." It wasn't realistic to demand of himself, and as much as a part of him knew that, now was not the time to be realistic-- not with himself or anyone else for that matter.
---
Without another word, Nora moved to the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of her favorite bourbon that had sat unloved ever since she found out about the baby. Within a few more seconds she had a glass, pouring him quite the generous amount before bringing the glass and bottle over to him. Settling next to him, she gave her boyfriend a moment to enjoy the strong alcohol and another moment to breathe before she started in on anything else. Though she couldn't help the look she shot in his direction at his comment.
Though she bit her tongue and kept the retort to herself, knowing he didn't need her pointing out how ridiculous that sounded. Because honestly, who in their right mind would question their parentage like that? Okay, well, Nora had, but only because she hated them. From what she understood, Alec's parents had been good..
Clicking her tongue against the side of her mouth she finally looked over at him, reaching out to brush a hand against his arm lightly.
"Do you feel this really changes anything though? Alecto Carrow isn't your mum, the woman who raised you is. And you're still Alec Vaisey. Where you got half of your genetic material doesn't matter all that much. I'm not belittling the issue… it's a lot. It sucks and it's unfair and well, people lied to you, and that's the worst bit. But… aside from that?" She shrugged, giving him a small smile.
"I don't know.. some people like a bad boy.. right? Maybe it gives you points in that category." Okay she was mostly teasing now, but Nora just wanted him to feel even a tiny bit better.
---
The sip he took was a long one, and much-needed, at that. Fucking hell, he'd barely even tasted it, but the slight burn was pleasant going down his throat, if nothing else.
His first thought at her words was that she couldn't understand. How could anyone? This was such a specific, oddball situation to be in, hardly anything normal by any stretch of the imagination.
"This affects my view of my parents and the view of myself. I've always thought of myself as muggle-born. I've spent my life being proud of that fact. My identity has been permanently altered because I was lied to." He shook his head. "You think kids just bounce back from being told they're adopted? Because I can tell you right now that they sure as hell fucking don't." At least to him, where he got half his genetic material from mattered. It would already be a big fucking deal to him if that had been the only revelation-- but to find out that his mother was a fucking death eater? That went completely beyond the pale.
If only he could have just chuckled at her little quip, but god help him, Alec wasn't in the mood, just shaking his head and finishing off the rest of his glass. "Don't use your good stuff on me, yeah?" For all he cared, he could be drinking rotgut right now.
---
Nora was quiet as he spoke, trying her best to understand things from his point of view. It was difficult, yes, because she had never been in the same situation. She had never experienced some revelation that completely changed how she viewed herself. And instead of trying to press him with her own opinions on the matter, or overwhelm him with some sort of bullshit positivity, she just accepted his words at face value. Alec wouldn't bounce back from this, but he would, in the future, have to accept it and live with it. She knew he would come to that realization in his own time, and she wasn't about to force the issue.
Rolling her eyes at his comment, she took the bottle from him, filling up his glass again before capping the top off. "It's not a waste if someone is using it. Not like I can. Besides, even if it's just for the purpose of getting fucked up, I like the smooth texture.." She shrugged then, wincing slightly again at the annoying tightness of her abdomen that she needed to just fucking go away.
"I think… you need to drink more. And then try to relax. And if you can't do that, I'm sure we can think of some other way to get that aggression out," she said with a sigh, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Are you gonna confront your Da? Or… her?"
As the tightness in her abdomen intensified, she felt herself go a bit clammy, but from the outside, unknown to her, she was rapidly turning pale.
---
"I could use something that burns right now," he explained somberly, knowing fully well how fucking stupid and dramatic that sounded. He didn't care. He'd meant it. There was something rewarding about it, after all-- that distraction.
And, well, she was right about that. He did need to drink more. A part of him desperately wanted to go nuts on a punching bag or something like it. Maybe he could take up kickboxing.
Fuck. He was never good at dealing with his own anger. At this rate, he was going to be stuck on stage two for an irritatingly long fucking time. Then again, he also wasn't entirely certain that he even wanted to reach a point of acceptance in the first place.
"Fuck if I know," he muttered, shaking his head as he downed the rest of his second glass before turning to Nora for a refill… only to see her looking rather like death, his eyes widening as he sat up straight. "What's going on?"
---
"Oh Yeah? I hear chlamydia might take care of that wish," Nora said with a half hearted chuckle. But her good humor was fading as she began to feel more and more… wrong. It was hard to explain, but she felt hotter each passing second and by the time Alec had focused his attention on her, Nora barely even heard what he was saying. Taking a deep breath she waited a moment, trying to manage words to answer his question but came up short.
"I'm not.. I don't know…" she managed finally, "I just feel… wrong…" cringing then, a cramp began to set in, causing her to pull her legs to get chest and her face scrunch up in pain she took a few deep breaths before reaching down to her stomach.
"It… hurts.." it was the only description Nora could manage.
---
It was as though all of the shit from this day disappeared all at once, not entirely unlike a fog lifting as he looked to Nora, who seemed to be folding in on herself. Getting up, he wasted no time in rushing to her side, Alec moving to press a hand to her abdomen. Hard. Cramping, no doubt. This wasn't good.
"I know this might not seem like the right time for this, but I need you to remove your underwear and lie back-- the bed, the floor, wherever-- and spread your legs. I need to check how badly you're bleeding-- if at all--" a man could hope, after all-- "and if you're at all dilated."
If she was miscarrying from the stress of the last several days, he needed to know now.
---
This couldn't be happening again. Nora truly wasn't sure she could handle this happening again. A giant surge of emotions shot through her at the thought, but she pressed them back down as best she could. The only sign of her internal struggle with herself was a single tear that slipped from the corner of her eye and down into her shirt. And the bloody timing. If her body was going to do this… why did it have to be now? Nora swore if there was an award for worst timing in the entire world, she would continually win first prize.
Nodding at his instructions, she wasted very little time in complying, not even bothering to move towards the bedroom. Laying down on the kitchen floor, she removed her bottoms and undergarments with a shaky hand, trying to keep a straight face. Trying not to let her fear show.
Laying back Nora closed her eyes, letting Alec examine her. For a brief moment it felt almost embarrassing, but he had seen every part of her at this point and now was no different. Now was just bloody terrifying instead of fun. The only thing that made her the slightest bit hopeful was she hasn't really noticed any blood. But that didn't mean anything, at least… not to her.
---
It really couldn't get much worse. He didn't blame her for the timing, though-- even if she wasn't wrong in her estimation of things. Between Sophie's accident and the paper's revealing of his parentage… the last thing they needed was for this to happen, too, on top of everything else.
Now was not the time to think of that, though. Being professional-- acting the part of the doctor more than the concerned boyfriend-- that was what would help him most right about now. It was oddly calming in that moment, Alec just grateful that he had the proper qualifications to do more than worry-- and that he had a medical bag on hand for instances such as this one.
Pulling back, Alec shook his head. "You're not dilated or bleeding. So while the cramping is bad… and something we should absolutely keep an eye on… right now you should be fine." So long as nothing changed… still, he couldn't help the tight feeling in his gut, the persistent, seemingly ever-present worry since she'd started exhibiting symptoms. "And if you want, we'll obviously go to Mungo's to get you checked out just in case." Not to mention that they likely could do something to stop the cramping entirely.
---
Nora waited silently, barely even breathing as Alec checked her out. Her entire world was frozen in that moment, and even after he said she seemed okay, she could barely believe it. When he pulled away, Nora laid there on the kitchen floor, another few hot tears rolling down the side of her face into her dark hair. After a few moments though she sat up, pulling in her underwear but not bothering with her jeans as she pulled her knees to her chest once more.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, Nora shook her head at the idea or going to Mungo's. Honestly, she knew she should. She knew it, but she couldn't quite bring herself. She could deal with physical pain, but any sort of news that would bring emotional pain? She didn't want to hear.
"Tomorrow," She finally managed. "I think there's been enough today. Just… help me to the bathroom? I just… I want to take a bath." Looking up at him, her eyes will still shining, but there were no more tears.
"Join me? I'll bring the whiskey." And after one more moment, she pressed her hand to her abdomen. "Do you really think he'll be okay?" She said quietly.
---
They had dealt with a lot-- more than enough really-- for one day. Clearly she had, if this was her response to this kind of stress. And he certainly knew he had, even if he'd pushed those feelings into the far reaches of his mind to make way for level-headed rationality so that he could at least care for her in this instance.
Nodding at her request, he reached down to take her hand, carefully lifting her up even as he resisted the urge to literally lift her up and carry her in his arms. He would have to set her down regardless sooner or later to draw the water for her, and it wasn't as though the bathroom was terribly far to begin with.
He hadn't considered joining her initially, but… the thought of relaxing in the tub-- whiskey included, thank Merlin-- was enough to lead his thoughts back down a far more somber track, the truth and reality of what he'd learned earlier that day seeming to hit him all over again, Alec finding himself suddenly feeling almost impossibly tired. "Yeah, I'll join you," he said softly, pausing when he heard her continue, a frown coloring his features. "He?" How could she know?
---
As Alec pulled her to her feet, she reached out to grab the bottle so they could take it into the bathroom. After another deep breath, she knew she would have to tell her boss soon what was going on. Her body… it had enough problems with keeping this baby safe, apparently. Nora didn't need crazy hours on top of it, even if she was disappointed in herself for admitting defeat.
His questioning of her terminology for their baby through, it brought a bright red flush to her pale cheeks. Looking down and shuffling back and forth on her feet, she shrugged in an embarrassed fashion. "Yeah… I guess. I know I don't actually know or anything but.." sighing she finally looked up at him with a small smile.
"I don't want to just refer to him as it anymore. Feels weird. Wrong. Especially if… I do lose him, I don't want.. I want to feel like he's a person…" she shrugged again, feeling sort of foolish at it all as she walked with him towards the bathroom.
---
"And if it's a girl?" That thought brought a smile to his face, that she was so eager to make this baby of theirs seem more human to her than it likely already was. "You sure you don't know anything?"
He'd heard of mothers' instincts before, that a great deal of women evidently knew quite well the gender of their baby in advance even without medical assistance. He supposed it was getting to be around that time for them-- they'd have their confirmation soon enough, he supposed.
"At any rate, it's not foolish." Anything but, really. The risk factor only made all the more sense of it. "I promise." Starting the water, he sighed. They'd gotten rather side-tracked, hadn't they? Well. So be it.
---
"If it's a girl… Merlin, I think we'll have our hands twice as full if I think back on myself," she said with a small chuckle. After all, she had been quite the handful her entire life, but she also had a very strong dislike for her own parents. If there was one thing she promised to herself, it was that her own child would have better. Nora couldn't stand the thought of treating her own offspring like she had been treated. At the very least, she believed in Alec's abilities much more than her own. "I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy," she said with a shrug.
But Nora hasn't forgotten what had sparked all of this, and stepping up close, she couldn't stop herself from reaching up to take Alec's face gently between her small hands.
"You know how much I love you, right?" She said gently, looking up into his eyes. "Whatever you need, if there's anything I can do for you… I'll do it. In a heartbeat. Because I've never had someone in my life who means as much to me as you do. I don't know what I did right in my life to deserve your affection, because Merlin knows I've done a lot of wrong, but I don't have it in me to question it."
Standing up on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his gently, reveling in the comfort such a simple gesture provided her with. He truly felt like coming home.
---
He couldn't help but chuckle. Was she convinced that any son of theirs would act like him, and any daughter of theirs would act like her? No wonder she was convinced that they'd be in trouble. "If she were to end up with my disposition, though… I think we'd be able to make it." He'd always been a rather quiet baby, all things considered-- at least going by what his parents had told him. Or, rather… what his father and adoptive mother had told him.
Not wanting to go down that same mental road once more, Alec sighed, shaking his head, eager to focus on something else only to find himself failing. Nora's words, however, managed to jostle him once more, and he slowly nodded.
"I know you do. And I hope you know the same in return." The frown remained etched on his features, his expression tired at best as he shrugged. "I'm really not all that. I know it doesn't seem it considering the amount of admirers I appear to have these days, but honestly. I'm just a fucking person." And the son of a death eater, at that.
Kissing her back, soft, he pulled back only to lean his forehead to hers, another sigh escaping him. "I'm sorry I'm such absolute shit at… dealing with all this." An apology was really the least he could offer.
---
Humming softly, Nora smiled as he pressed his forehead to hers, her hands gently running up and down his sides in a comforting gesture. Though she wasn't entirely sure if it was comforting herself, or him. "Just a person… yeah," she agreed with a nod, "But you're my person." And that meant something to her. "Your admirers though… really getting out of hand there, Alec," she teased with a chuckle, but then instantly shook her head in response to his next words.
"You're not shit, love. And… we all suck at dealing with stuff like this. You're here, yeah? That's what matters." Smiling then, she couldn't help but grimace slightly afterwards at another feeling of tightening in her abdomen. She was less panicked now, but… there was still worry there. Nora didn't have the most excellent track record with pregnancy, and she wasn't entirely sure either of them could handle any more negativity right now.
Sighing, she gently pulled away to turn on the water, letting the bath slowly fill as she stepped out of her remaining clothing, moving to undo the buttons of his shirt so he would join her.
"Grab the bottle, yeah? Then I think… we both need to relax for the rest of the night."