Kevin Entwhistle (followinglast) wrote in snitchers, @ 2017-10-20 20:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | char: kevin entwhistle, char: viktor krum |
Who: Kevin Entwhistle and Viktor Krum
Where: A back-alley circus ring in Knockturn Alley, then Kevin's flat
When: BACKDATED; 10th October, night
What: Read the 'where' and you'll get a fair idea
Rating: Rish? And L for Long
Status: Part 1 of 2
It was well after dark by the time Viktor escaped the shop. He stared down at the coordinates that he'd written down carefully, then tucked them back in his pocket like a treasure. His hands were sweaty and he silently cursed himself for his nerves. He was second-guessing himself now, suddenly doubtful that Kevin would enjoy the evening, and he took a few deep breaths to calm down. His hand reached into the pocket of his coat, cradling the small package there. That, too, made him feel a little nervous.
He closed his eyes and Apparated.
The sudden lurch and shift of the ground beneath his feet barely registered, so similar was it to the feelings in the pit of his stomach. He glanced for a moment at his clothes, brushing dust from his jeans and tugging at the tail of his untucked shirt. Then he shrugged. Straightening up, he reached out and knocked briskly on the door, wondering what Kevin expected of him or if he was making far more of the evening than needed to be made.
Viktor was prompt. That was the first thing Kevin thought when he heard the knock on the door, and he cursed when he spilled some hot water onto his hand from the boiling kettle he was holding.
"Damn it," he muttered, grabbing a tea towel and wrapping it awkwardly around his knuckles - healing spells were not his strong suit, and the last thing he needed right now was to accidentally spell an extra finger onto his hand. "Just coming!" he called out, catching his reflection in the window, and running his free hand through his hair. He gave his flat a cursory glance - thankfully, no drying laundry was hanging around and everything was as neat and tidy as he liked it. The dining table still had a few loose pieces of paper on it from the notes he'd compiled at the Lestrange-Weasley wedding, and there was a half-empty cup of yogurt he'd been eating earlier next to them, but he didn't really think about it when he walked across the room to get the door.
When the door swung open, his cheeks were flushed but his smile was bright.
"Hello," Viktor replied. He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, hearing an answering click as he did so.
Scratching the back of his neck, he glanced over at Kevin and the towel he was holding against his hand. He wondered whether he had misunderstood what this was.
"Is this bad time?" he asked.
"No - not at all," Kevin said, feeling a little vulnerable. Being a visitor to Viktor's home hadn't given the man much insight into who Kevin was at home, and he was suddenly hyper-aware of how chaotic he was as a person; he supposed he could count himself lucky that Viktor wasn't visiting him at work. His desk looked like it had been hit by the Whomping Willow.
"I was just making myself a drink while I waited and I burned my hand," he admitted with a laugh, stepping aside to let Viktor in. He glanced up at the clock that sat on his bookshelf, wedged between two just-alive spider plants on the top shelf. "It's not a bad time. I'm just..." Scatterbrained? Clumsy? Nervous? All of the above?
"Anyway. I'm ready to leave now unless..."
"Unless?" Viktor repeated, feeling suddenly shy. He wanted to peer at Kevin's flat but stopped himself, knowing that they had somewhere to be.
He looked down, fumbling in his pocket and pulled out the small box he'd placed there. "I bring you something." He offered it to Kevin on the palm of his hand, more than a little afraid that the other man wouldn't take it.
Kevin tossed the towel onto the dining table, still holding the door open and hoping that Viktor would at least come in for a second. He was distracted by the gift, though, and his eyes lit up as he looked at it.
"For me?" he asked him with a big smile, picking it off of Viktor's hand with slightly pink fingers. "And no unless," he added with another laugh and shake of his head. "I just mean - unless you're not wanting to leave right now?"
He was being really fucking British right now, and he prayed that Viktor would step in with some of his usual decisive bluntness. "What is it?" he asked, looking at the box he was holding.
"No. I do not want to leave. We have not even started yet," Viktor said. He edged a little closer to Kevin. "Is nothing much. Just thing I make for you."
He thought to himself that once again, he was embracing customs that the British knew nothing of. Then again, his ears flushed as he thought it, perhaps it was better that Kevin not know of his intent.
Kevin closed the door behind Viktor and walked decisively behind him, steering him into his home by his elbow. If Viktor wasn't going to be assertive, then he was. When he came back around after closing the door, he still held onto the box.
"You made something - for me?" he asked him with a smile that was full of gentle awe, like he was scared of breaking something, this thing between them. Whatever it was.
"It's not nothing," he added, quick and a little breathless. "It's - thank you."
"Bah," Viktor said and smiled. "Open it."
The box rustled and stretched, then a tiny red paw popped out of the cardboard. The lid popped open and a carved red fox titled its head flirtatiously, swishing its tail at Kevin. Viktor made a clicking sound in the back of his throat and the carving stilled, now looking just like the small painted wooden statue that it was.
"I just charmed before I came," he explained. "Magic is...how do you say..." He shrugged, not quite having the words but settled. "Still new. He wants to wander."
Kevin's eyes widened a little in surprise when the wooden carving came to life - again, something he still couldn't get over, even after ten years - and he looked up at Viktor with a soft laugh. "He's a he?" he asked him with a grin. "Well. He's adorable," he added, looking more at his friend than the carving. With it stilled in his hand, he walked over to the bookshelves and set it down on a clear space - he secretly hoped it wouldn't reanimate in the middle of the night and try to kill him.
"I love it, Vitya," he said, coming in closer and touching the other man's arm, resisting the urge to kiss his cheek. "Truly. You're so talented."
He spotted how pink his knuckles still looked, and he gingerly touched them with his fingertips. "Do you want some tea before we leave?"
"We should go," Viktor said with more than a little regret. He wanted to linger in that touch and see where the moment took them. But at the same time, he sensed a delicate balance between them and he didn't want to upset it.
He reached for Kevin's hand and gently cradled it in his own, smiling a little at how much larger his palms were. There were little bits of ink in the corner of Kevin's fingernails and as his thumb lightly rubbed the other man's forefinger, he felt how rough the callouses were there from a life spent handling a quill. "You will be okay to go?"
In the handful of seconds that Viktor spent holding his hand in his own, Kevin felt his body go a little weak from his fingertips to his elbow, up to his shoulder. He swayed a little, his cheeks heating, and suddenly he realised what was happening. He was swooning. It felt like butter melting - like he was sliding in the older man's touch with absolutely no control of it.
"Yeah," he said, his voice rough before he cleared his throat quickly and gathered himself. Merlin help him.
"Yeah, I'm okay to go. I can't wait. I love surprises," he teased with a curling grin, glancing at the door to make sure it was closed properly and they could leave just like this, if Viktor was planning on side-along Apparition.
"May be better with both hands," Viktor said. His smile had now emboldened itself into a full-on grin as he saw Kevin's cheeks go ruddy. He took Kevin's other hand in his, himself feeling a little flush at the way that their bodies felt. Curling his fingers around, he said, "Close your eyes."
He took a minute to focus, more than it normally took, but it was distracting to be so close.
A sudden lurch and shift of the magic and they were there. He released his hands from Kevin's, now a little unsure about the advisability of touching him in a public place. The slight chill of the other man's fingers lingered on his own, mirrored by the crisp autumn air in which they were standing. They were in a small alleyway, just around the bend from Knockturn Alley, and he hoped that the area didn't make Kevin uncomfortable. The press of shops here was tight, the buildings so pressed for space that they seemed to lean on one another for support. Viktor took a step forward, glancing back over his shoulder at Kevin, then led him toward the end of the alley, to a staircase that led upward to a painted red door.
With his eyes closed, all Kevin could focus on was the warmth and size of Viktor's hands around his own. He didn't even feel silly like he might normally have - and he certainly didn't feel unsafe. Quite the opposite.
When he leaned in again, eyes closed, his body suddenly lurched back in that all-too-familiar sensation of Apparition, another aspect of life as a wizard that he would never get used to.
He opened his eyes again, only a little paler than he was when they had been standing in his kitchen, and he rubbed the back of his neck when the warmth from Viktor's hands disappeared. He glanced up and down the alleyway, unsure where they were at first before he recognised a few of the buildings peering out overhead. Being a reporter and drawn to investigating some of the seedier aspects of wizarding life, he was no stranger to this part of town.
"This isn't mysterious. Not at all," he murmured as he followed after Viktor, climbing up onto the staircase toward the door.
"You like surprises," Viktor reminded him as he rapped on the door three times, then took out his wand and sent a short, sharp blast of energy into the door.
A woman opened the door with a sudden whirl of energy. "Krumlov!" It was followed by a stream of rapid-fire Russian, the words so sharp and fast that even Viktor had trouble keeping up. Every word was punctuated by a jangle from the hundreds of bangles that she wore, so numerous that they covered her long arms from wrist to the middle of her upper arm. It was dizzying to watch as she gesticulated, her long dark hair whipping about as she expressed her joy that they had come.
Viktor stopped her by speaking a few clumsy words of Russian, then pointing to Kevin, he said, "This is... ah... lubimy. Kevin."
As he said it, he blushed. And the woman stopped jangling.
"Oh?" And she leaned forward, as close as she could get to Kevin without actually touching him. Then she held out a hand with nails so long they almost curled. "I am Gennadiya. It is very good that you have come for circus." Then she stepped aside, gesturing to a long and winding hallway that appeared to be an unending span of darkness.
Kevin hung back a bit as he watched them talk, wide-eyed and curious, like a child who had stumbled upon something that wasn't mean for his eyes. When she came close, he could smell a waft of her musky perfume, and he could see how dark her eyes were. She looked like a fortune teller from an old painting, and he was struck for a second, just staring at her and wondering how the hell anyone could be so terrifying, yet so darkly glamorous.
And what was lubimy? He decided to store that word away for later.
The hallway was as dark as the woman's eyes, but it didn't scare him. Excitement bubbled up from deep in his chest and he looked at Viktor with a wide, giddy gaze. "The circus?" he asked him, touching the wall with one hand. "You've brought me to a circus?"
Viktor waited until they were again alone, Gennadiya having closed a pair of dark curtains behind her with a twist of her jangling wrists.
"Ah. Yes." he said. "In way. Is not like circus you expect." He wanted to reach out and take Kevin's other hand but he forced himself not to by shoving his hands deeply in his pockets. "You will follow me."
With that, he began to lead Kevin down the shadowed hallway.
It was much longer than seemed possible for a building of that size and Viktor's steps turned light, almost skipping, with his own excitement. He loved circuses of any kind and this particular ringmaster rarely came to town. He hoped that the lack of English would not distress Kevin as they came into a small open space with a rickety bench off to the left. The smell of freshly baked pirozhki filled the room, yeasty and warm, as a house elf came tripping through with a large platter on which the pastries were stacked. The elf cheerfully thrust two at each of them, then wandered off to the other end of the room, disappearing into mid-air.
"You can only see your own place for sitting," Viktor explained, walking over to the bench and patting the spot next to him with his free hand.
Kevin held the newly acquired pastry between his fingers, not sure whether he should eat it yet. His eyes were too busy consuming the sights around him, as dark and coveted as they were. He felt like a stranger in a strange land, and it was exactly where he liked to be: from the outside looking in, discovering a new place, new feelings, new sights and smells. All the better for it being a little bit off the wall, and maybe a little bit dangerous.
"Are there more people here?" he asked Viktor curiously, almost whispering it as if they - if they existed - were there too. Still, he sat down, looking up at the older man and silently willing him to sit close.
Viktor scooted next to him, grimacing a little as his braces clacked together. He wiggled a little closer to Kevin than perhaps he should have, telling himself it was best. After all, he would need to whisper translations into Kevin's ear if they were needed. The thought of that made him warm a little inside.
"Yes. Very many, I think." He pointed to the empty space around them. "I do not know how they do it. You will not see or hear them. They will not see or hear us. As long as we are on this bench."
He laughed softly. "There was once...people who did not remember this. They fall off bench in the middle of--" Viktor halted, realizing that perhaps it was a story better left unfinished. "Anyhow. It was not good." He bit into the piroshki, savoring the taste of cheese and potato. It smelled like home and he found it comforting.
Kevin did the same, finding that he liked it too. He wondered what, exactly, the people fell into, and he peered down at the floor, unable to see anything but his own shoes.
"Can anyone see us?" he asked him, meaning the performers, if there were any. Honestly, he had no idea what to expect. "At all?" he added, searching Viktor's face in their proximity, his voice still low as if they were sharing a secret.
Music started up around them as Kevin asked his second question.
Viktor leaned forward, looking into Kevin's eyes and whispered in return, "I do not know. As long as we are, I do not think so. Why?"
Kevin wiped some crumbs off of his fingers, but didn't break Viktor's breath. This close, his breath felt warm on his skin, and it was making the hair on the back of his neck prickle and stand on end. Or maybe that was the music.
"No reason," he said, his heart thud-thudding in his chest. His lips curled upward. "It's - I don't know." Intimate. "I like it."
When Kevin spoke, something tightened in Viktor's chest. He opened his mouth to speak, but just then, the curtain rose.
A tall man stepped out, his head covered in a teetering golden turban. He wore deep green robes covered in spangles and when he gestured, small bursts of glitter sprinkled out from the sleeves. He began to speak, his words in a deeply accented Russian, and Viktor used it as an excuse to move closer to Kevin, so close that he bumped his knee when he leaned over to murmur in his ear.
"This is Alisher," he whispered. "Ringmaster. He is not from Russia so he is speaking with accent. I have trouble understanding him when he is yelling like this. But he say the usual thing, are we ready, do we want to see show, it is greatest thing on earth." Gathering his courage, he reached out and squeezed Kevin's hand, then said, "This is not so."
Just then the performers came out.
The first one popped from Alisher's turban, a furry, squeaking mouse version of the ringmaster himself. The mouse adjusted his turban and began squeaking out orders to a running column of mice. Each mouse ran out to the center of the stage to take a position and as they met the center, three tiny circus rings shimmered and appeared. With them, a whole array of circus equipment in miniature came into view--trapezes, wooden elephants, and unicycles. A carved elephant waddled along the outside of the ring, swinging its trunk and trumpeting at the unseen audience.
Kevin tore his eyes away from the strange, slightly terrifying man on the stage as soon as Viktor's fingers covered his own, and because he didn't want the older man to retreat, he turned his hand beneath his and curled his fingers around Viktor's in return.
He held his breath, almost waiting for Viktor to snatch his hand away again.
Soon enough though, he was distracted by the mice, and he held back his immediate, cooing reaction out of fear that they would hear him and that Viktor would poke fun. So he smothered it down, alongside a grin, and watched as the peculiar display unfolded before them.
"I mean. I've seen a lot of magic," he whispered, leaning in close but keeping his gaze fixed on the ring. "But this is - it's something else." It was so weird, and beautiful.
Viktor squeezed Kevin's hand in response. His eyes were rapt on the ring, watching as a pair of mice took the trapeze, happily bouncing from swing to swing. This circus was considerably clumsier than any human equivalent and it made him relax, smiling as if he were a young child again with none of the cares that had plagued him even at that age.
He laughed as a mouse donned a hat that was too large, hopping on a tiny unicycle and peddling around the stage. His mirth continued with every act. It was easy for him to forget his nervousness when a tower of mice was riding around the stage precariously balanced on an elephant.
Every so often, though, he snuck a look over at Kevin, hoping that the other man didn't think this too strange. He knew that it was a rare event, even by wizarding standards.
Kevin was obsessed with what was happening before him - it was so curious, so odd; it reminded him of stories he would read as a child and get lost in. But what was even more endearing was Viktor's reaction to it, which he found himself watching and listening to more often. To see him just - let go, and relax, and probably forget about everything but that moment - it was so innocent, and beautiful.
The cogs in Kevin's head were spinning, and he was already thinking of a new story of his own.
When he caught Viktor looking at him, he returned his gaze, and held it.
Viktor's ears reddened when Kevin caught him looking and he quickly glanced back at the circus. He could still feel the slight cold of Kevin's hand in his but it was warming with the heat of his fingers. He wondered if the other man had forgotten that their hands were linked and for a moment, he almost put his other hand on top to minimize the risk of Kevin pulling away.
The smell of piroshki filled the air again and with an abrupt thump, a dark curtain dropped, separating them from the mice. The fabric was patchwork and motheaten, the legacy of decades of reuse.
He looked over at Kevin with an apologetic smile. "The mice, they do not perform so long."
"Well, they're probably tired, after all of that," Kevin said with a grin, flexing his fingers between Viktor's and tightening them around the other man's once more. Basically showing no intention of moving.
He wondered what it meant to Viktor - because it meant a hell of a lot to him.
"That was so - my mind is blown," he said with a little laugh. "It was beautiful."
"I am glad," Viktor replied, smiling at Kevin. "I want to show you this because it do not happen much."
He wondered whether he should release Kevin's hands or not when they stood. What lay between them was something that he was still unsure of and he didn't know if the other man would welcome the attention that might come if the papers decided that they still cared about a former athlete. He also wasn't sure himself about risking that damage.
"We go," he said, postponing the decision a little longer. "But to where? Do you like walk or dinner or?"
"I like both," Kevin said immediately, because both meant more time together. How he yearned for more of that.
But it also meant standing up, and losing contact. Which he did, with a little regret, but made sure to stay standing where he was so that Viktor would remain close when he too got up to leave.
"We walk, then eat. I do not want to share you yet," Viktor said bluntly. He liked the idea of having Kevin to himself for a little while longer, as selfish as it was. They walked back down the long hallway in quiet. Though he didn't take Kevin's hand again, every so often he lightly bumped into the other man, to feel the touch.
By the time they reached the outside, the crisp had gone to cold. He could see Kevin's breath puff out in front of him in the autumn air. He found himself a little sad that he hadn't timed their evening for the sunset but at least it wasn't raining and the stars were beginning to poke out above them. Viktor began to walk next to Kevin, though slowly, out of the alley, his braces noisy as they moved.
"This is place where sometimes I find people from my country," he explained. "Or close to there. I want you to see this. It is different here but some thing, they are the same. I do not get much of this here." Viktor fell quiet for a moment, not knowing how to express his feelings in words that made sense. His hope that perhaps his friendship with Kevin might be something that could blossom, that perhaps he might find something less temporal than the women that he took to hotels a few times a year. But this could only happen if all sides of himself were something that the younger man could accept. That he was more than a blunt, sometimes stoic former athlete who spoke bad English.
Kevin was smiling though, despite the cold that was starting to cut through his jacket. It was strange, that only a few weeks ago he was sweating in a late summer heatwave in short sleeves, and now he was already thinking about buying a new winter coat.
"I want to see it - I'm excited to see where you go and the people you meet," he confessed. People watching, and observing, was one of Kevin's favourite things to do. The behaviours and customs of other cultures fascinated him - but Viktor was the current focal point of his curiosity.
He pushed his cold hands into his pockets, and pulled out a woolly hat, which he tugged on top of his dark hair and over his ears.
"And if it has more food like what we just had in there, then absolutely count me in. That was great."
"Food is important part of life," Viktor grinned. He noticed that Kevin had put his hands in his pockets and with an inward sigh, he did the same. But he moved just a little closer to the other man as they walked. "I go many places, see many things. Was part of life when I played Quidditch. Never in one place for so long."
He bumped Kevin's shoulder. "I did not want to come to this place again. England. Had hope that I could hide in Riga after accident. That was where this happen." It was interesting, he thought to himself, how often he said things to Kevin that he did not mean to reveal. The other man was simply easy to talk to.
"Riga," Kevin said thoughtfully. He looked up at Viktor, who had a little bit of height on him, and he decided to do something brave.
He extracted a hand from his pocket and gently squeezed it between Viktor's arm and his side, looping their arms together which, if asked, he would simply reply he was cold and it was good to walk together, close, to stay warm.
"What was it like there? There's a lot of beautiful buildings... from what I've read about it," he said, keeping a slow pace - prolonging this.
"I do not remember so much of that as I wish," he confessed. He was trying not to grin ridiculously as Kevin looped their arms together. He diverted their path down another narrow stretch of alley that seemed deserted enough to leave them undisturbed. His gait was uneven and he hoped that it did not make him too difficult to walk alongside. "I was in hospital for muggle. Then I try to stay in place and be left alone. This muggle living, it was not easy."
He shook his head. "It did not last long. I am too valuable to family. My father, he come and find me and then he take me to Sofia."
"I like muggle living," Kevin confessed. "But I understand that I grew up with it, and it was just the way of life for me until I knew I had magic. And now I feel like I wouldn't be able to live without both," he admitted. He kept his pace slow and patient, and didn't let go of Viktor's arm. He could feel muscle move under skin beneath the layers of clothes between them, and it was making him blush.
"So after going home to Sofia, you came to England?" he asked the older man curiously, peering up at him as they walked.
"Yes. It was way of escape. I promise that I will have treatment at Mungo's to fix this. Play Quidditch again." He looked over at Kevin again, then at the alley that they were walking through. There were back doors to a few shops lining it and a few garbage cans. One can's lid kept popping up and down, clearly being propelled by some magical toy or device that still had a little charge in it. "But you? Why did you leave Scotland? Was not only for school or you would go back."
When Viktor looked at him, Kevin found it really difficult to look away, even with all of the distracting sights and noises around them.
"I love Scotland," he said. "But London has everything - my job, now my home. I feel settled here."
He smiled, and added shyly, "Maybe one day soon I'll show you Edinburgh," he said, tilting his head a bit toward Viktor, almost tempted to rest it for a second on one strong shoulder, but resisting.
"Yes. This is good," Viktor said but inside, his heart was leaping. He forced himself to keep walking rather than to give in to the impulses that kept teasing him. How, he wondered, was he going to keep a conversation going when he kept getting distracted by the slight motions of Kevin's arm or the way that the chill was reddening his pale skin?
He hesitated, then stopped after they had reached the outer perimeter of the alley and were now out in the open. He wanted to see how, or if, Kevin's movement against him would change.
Kevin kept his arm looped in Viktor's, and glanced up and down the street curiously. It was amazing that after a few years of living in London, there were still times when he had no idea where he was. That was one of the best things about it.
"I think you would like Edinburgh, Vitya," he said with a smile, still watching the street and the late-night shoppers rush back home, where he bet there were fires and tea waiting for them. "It's very historic and has a lot of tradition. And we like to make things as well," he said, flashing the other man a toothy smile. Viktor's fondness for making things was a quality that Kevin admired the most.
"So where do we go from here?"
"I...do not know." Viktor gathered up his courage from the fact that Kevin had not released his arm and said, "I want to talk of some thing. But not here. Where do we go?" He felt a little anxious about being in public, arm within arm. While that might go unnoticed in other countries, he was quite sure that in Britain, it would not.
"Let's find some green space," Kevin said, glancing around gain and trying to get his bearings. Charing Cross Road - they weren't far from Regent's Park, which was big, and beautiful this time of year.
"Come on, I know where to go," he said, steering the way through the streets with their mix of old monuments, new offices and old apartments that had long since been converted to shops. A patchwork quilt of old and new.
"Here," he said, leading them northbound through Fitzrovia, over cobbled roads and graveled streets lined with closed coffee shops and expensive apartments that no Londoners could afford. "Tell me if you need to sit," he said in a blunt tone that could rival Viktor's, just as they were coming for the gates.
"Yes. That would be good." Viktor said, amused to see how easily Kevin took charge as he wove them through muggle London. He himself still felt an outsider in these muggle spaces, moreso in London which was more modern than Riga and Sofia and the other places he knew which fell a little behind other parts of the world in places. He followed Kevin to a bench and sat down, feeling a little anxious about the things that he wanted to say.
"I want to ask you question," he began, then halted.
Kevin sat down beside Viktor, and to anyone passing they looked completely normal. With darkness overhead, they blended - and besides that, they were alone.
"Then ask me," he said as calmly as he could; internally, he was a bag of nerves, teetering on the edge of what felt like a blade.
"Do you know my intentions?" Viktor asked, the words coming out sharper than he had intended. "I think that you do but I do not know."
Kevin felt like he'd been hit by the Knight Bus. He recovered quickly though, and blinked a few times, never breaking his gaze to look away or look down. He was scared that if he did, any truth that Viktor wanted to share would be lost forever.
"I don't know," he admitted. "I think I know what I want them to be but I'm honestly not sure." He swallowed. "Tell me?"
Viktor sighed then, deeply, as he broke Kevin's gaze, looking down at his hands.
"Ah." It took him a moment as he fumbled through his memory for all of the words. "I give to you gift because this is thing that we do in Plovdiv when we are courting. I think this is clear thing but maybe this is not the case. I do not know if I am not clear because you are English--Scottish--or if it is because of being man. I do not know how to do these things. It has been long time since I made a try at all of this."
He knotted his hands together, troubled at how terribly he was speaking despite himself, his accent thickening with every word. "But I like you. You are good man. Smart man. Man who sees things and who do not care, maybe, that I am not so good at some things. But I am afraid to be this--to be together--because of how this will go. There are things that will happen. Papers and people and...world is not kind. And I do not know how to be with you. And maybe we will not be friends, if I say all of these things."
He bit his lip, wishing that he could just speak in his native tongue and be understood. But then, he wasn't sure if he would make any more sense.
Kevin stayed very still as he listened to Viktor talk, and he could feel his cheeks heat and his heart expand inside his chest as he confessed the words that he'd only ever hoped to hear but was never actually sure he'd ever hear the other man say them out loud.
Courting, he repeated in his mind, over and over. So Viktor wanted this - or, at least, wanted some part of this. The unsureness wasn't just entrenched in his fear for the world around them, but of himself. He spoke like someone who wasn't sure how to navigate some very new feelings, and Kevin felt for him.
"The world isn't kind," he agreed quietly. "But if you believe in the kindness of who you want to be with." Me - is it me? "Then that can help eclipse some of the trivial cruelness of everyone else."
He wanted to teach Viktor to just not give a damn. To take what he wanted for once.
"And for what it's worth, I'm always going to be your friend. No matter what happens." He squeezed Viktor's arm. "You have my word."
Viktor scowled slightly at the touch on his arm. It wasn't the reaction that he'd hoped for but, he thought, perhaps he hadn't expressed himself clearly enough. He shook his head. "You do not understand."
Reaching out, he touched Kevin's face, cupping it in his hand and drawing the other man forward. Pressing his forehead against Kevin's so that he could not look away, Viktor addressed him, his dark eyes almost furious in their intensity. "You. I want you. Not some one. Just you." He released the other man and stood up, walking away so that he could find an Apparition point. Whatever happened next, he didn't want to be outside where the whole world could watch it.
The whirlwind of touches and non-touches, closeness and distance, left Kevin reeling. Viktor had stood up and left him leaning into nothing, and he blinked as if he were already gone.
He needed that swooning sensation again - the flip of his stomach when Viktor cradled his hand, or touched his face. The slippery, out-of-body, standing on the edge of a building feeling that made everything else feel like nothing.
He stood up quickly and dashed over quickly to Viktor's side, and grabbed his hand.
The touch undid Viktor completely and he gave in.
He turned, slowly, clumsily as his left leg caught and buckled. Ignoring that, ignoring the pain, he grabbed Kevin and pressed his mouth against his, aching to feel the other man's kiss. The energy inside of him was building and he felt his entire body tense with the feelings--no,with the hunger--that he felt the longer their lips touched.
He pulled away, gasping for breath, not because the kiss had been long but because his heart was beating so hard against his chest.
Kevin swallowed against a breath too, now holding both hands against Viktor's chest for balance - for both of them. Their faces were close and his lips still tasted of the older man - cedar, sandalwood, earth. A gentle kind of masculinity that made him feel a little weak in the knees.
He couldn't help but wonder what it had been like for Viktor. Was he what he expected?
"It's okay," he insisted softly, still holding his hands against Viktor, their noses bumping in their proximity. "It's okay."
"Okay?" Viktor scowled again. "I do not know what you mean by okay."
He was trying not to feel a little hurt by the fact that Kevin hadn't felt as he had--the short breaths, the sudden dizziness that so rarely he'd felt when he kissed. He hadn't felt it since school when he'd fallen in love with a girl who he couldn't have. He wondered whether this was the same and it frightened him.
But he wanted to be close to Kevin and so he stood for a moment longer, feeling their noses touch. Perhaps he could live with such a situation if only these feelings remained.
"We go some where not here. Where others do not see us. This is okay, yes?" He threw out the word "okay" again, a little more prickly than he'd meant.
Kevin flushed with embarrassment. What he had intended as a soothing gesture had come across as patronising and bland. He longed to be kissed by Viktor like that again, and he was frightened he'd ruined it.
"Apparate to my flat," he said, sliding one hand up from Viktor's chest to palm at the back of his neck, bringing him in closer, the tip of his nose now pressed against his cheek where he rubbed it to feel the warmth of his skin and tease his mouth with his own.
He hoped that was clear enough.
Confusion gripped Viktor but he nodded, that gentle touch inflaming him again. He pulled away but this time, the gesture was slight.
"I need moment. To clear..." His eyes glanced down at his trousers, then he flushed. "Mind. So we do not splinch."
Disengaging himself from Kevin, he turned and took a few sharp breaths. He forced himself to think of unpleasant things for a moment and after naked house elves had finished their parade through his mind, he felt comfortable enough to dare the spell. Reaching for Kevin's hand, he Apparated them both into the living room. His legs a little wobbly, he teetered toward the sofa, pulling Kevin down with him in a tangled mess of limbs. Without pausing, he began kissing the other man again.
Kevin watched Viktor with a quiet sort of amusement as he gathered himself, but he did no such similar thing. He was still as built up with energy and want that by the time they landed in his living room with a pop, his insides felt like they were on fire.
Landing on top of the older man, he blindly pulled off his hat and worked his jacket open, tossing both over the back of the sofa, much more comfortable in his dark jeans and soft sweater. His skin was cold and his hair was a mess, but he didn't care - his fingers soon found the back of Viktor's neck again, and his shoulder for balance, and his kiss was wet and immediate.
"Coat," Viktor mumbled as they kissed, not quite willing to stop the kiss to take it off. He tried to shrug it off but finally broke the kiss, laughing as he pulled it off and sent it to the other side of the room with a strong throw. This time, instead of immediately kissing Kevin again, he took the time to look at him, smiling as he indulged himself by threading his fingers through the other man's messy dark hair. "I am sorry. Perhaps I am being bold but I could not help it."
Kevin watched Viktor's coat fly across his flat like it had a life of its own, and grinned in amusement.
When one of those large hands pushed its way into his hair, he shivered minutely, and looked down at the other man underneath him.
"Don't be sorry," he said, pressing a hand to Viktor's chest, right over his heart that thrummed so warmly. "I'm sorry for not telling you that I wanted this too. I wasn't sure how you would react. I - wasn't sure if you felt this way about me," he said, feeling vulnerable again.
"Yes, I think this too," Viktor agreed. He stroked the other man's hair, thinking that he did not want to go too far, too fast, even if his body was vigorously arguing the point. He liked the way that it felt to have Kevin lying against him, slightly cold every time he felt a hint of skin on skin. "I do worry. This will not be easy."
He sighed, burrowing his nose into Kevin's hair so that he could smell it. The soft tangled waves tickled his nose and he smiled a little, then said, "What is this? I do not want only a night." His arms circled the younger man as he said, "It is too much to say this out loud now, yes?"
Kevin didn't want too much too soon either - he wanted to saver this, to make it last.
"No - it's not too much to say anything. Our new rule is that we say what we feel, when we feel it. Okay?" he asked Viktor, lifting his head a little so he could meet his eyes.
"I don't want one night," he said, to get them started. "I want many nights. As many nights as I have." He settled a little more on top of Viktor in a way that didn't demand skin on skin - yet - just warmth and comfort and more kisses and gentle touches.
"Yes," Viktor agreed, feeling warmer by the moment. He kissed Kevin again, this time just lightly on the tip of the nose. "I am glad that you agree to come tonight." His hands kept finding the other man's hair, fascinated by the way that it tangled and curled around his fingers.
He laughed, then said, "But I never buy you dinner. I am no good as date."
"Pfft," Kevin offered by way of reply. "You're a very good date. You took me to the circus! And it was unbelievable. Circus mice? They were so cute. I was afraid to say it there in case they took offense and I was a little afraid of them." He grinned, dimpled and soft.
"What's it like to kiss me?" he asked Viktor suddenly, curious to know how he was finding it. Part of Kevin worried about how Viktor would react to them getting more intimate.
"Afraid of mice? Bah. You should not be afraid of them. Mice are tiny, do tricks. I do not think it would offend them." He curled around Kevin a little more, his leg too stiff to complete the gesture with the brace poking out as he tried to maneuver himself into a better angle. "I love the circus. Any circus. We did not have so much circus in Bulgaria but my baba--grandmother--she was Russian. So sometimes we would go to there for my birthday to see the circus and such wonderful things as they had there. It was very, very cold. Much more than Plovdiv."
Kevin's next question made him grin. "You want to know this? I may as well tell you how it feel to touch moon. Is much the same." His hand retrieved itself from Kevin's hair and instead, began tracing a light line from cheek to jawbone.
"Cold and deadly?" Kevin quipped, unable to help himself as he leaned his head forward a little, blushing deeply under that touch, his skin tingling all over. He smiled, unable to stop the giddy feeling inside him bubbling to the surface. "Silent, with a weak gravitational force?"
"No," Viktor kissed him quickly before he could keep talking. Then he paused. "I do not know what this gravitational force is."
Kevin grinned, unable to help it.
"It's a muggle scientific theory," he said, tracing a fingertip across the length of Viktor's cheek, marveling it's softness. "They say it's what keeps our feet on the ground on earth. And they walked on the moon, you know," he said. "They went up there in rockets, and when they walked on it, they bounced, because the force wasn't as strong."
Viktor pondered this, then said, "Then this is good description. I do not feel like feet are on the ground when you are kissing me, lubimiy." He flushed, unused to voicing such endearments.
His mind raced now over what Kevin had just told him. He had heard hints of this before in the muggle world but had thought it fairy tales. Why would he have been told so often that muggles were inferior if they had managed such an incredible thing?
"So this is how they found aliens," he mused. "Was no fairy story."
Kevin's face flushed with that confession - and there was that word again. He reminded himself to ask about it, soon.
"I don't think they've found aliens yet, Vitya," he said with a little smile, shifting his weight on top of him until he could comfortably tuck himself in against his side, facing him, their faces at a level. His couch was wide enough to accommodate it, and like this he felt like he wasn't crushing him.
"But they're working on it, apparently. And many muggles claim to have been visited by them, but who knows."
"Then what did they find on moon?" Viktor shifted himself a little so that he could wrap his arm around Kevin. His eyes were wide as they listened, his look similar to the one he'd had when watching the circus.
"Cheese," Kevin teased, grinning. "No - that's not the truth. It's an old muggle joke." He decided that he very much liked being in the circle of Viktor's arms, and he turned his head for a second to press his nose against one strong upper arm, breathing in his scent.
"I don't think they found anything but gravel, stone and craters."
Viktor frowned. "So sad. To go all that way for dirt."
Part 2 here