24th September 2002 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
Dementors Attack! Ministry Fails to Warn Citizens
Nora Flint, Senior Reporter & Kevin Entwhistle, Junior Reporter
A string of horrifying and realistic nightmares have broken out nearly countrywide for a large array of Magical Citizens. Reports indicate that hundreds of Witches and Wizards residing within the country have been affected by these brutal night terrors in some way. While many insist it is just coincidence, inside sources at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement have revealed the true cause of these horrible happenings is Dementors. But how can this be? According to the Ministry, the Dementors are still locked up tight inside Azkaban, hoping to starve them out completely and into non existence.
Also, Dementors have never known to attack citizens in their dreams. Magical Creature Expert Elodeas Rookwoood says differently. "Magical Creatures learn to adapt to the most stressful of situations. Since the Dementors have been locked up inside Azkaban, they've become desperate. Never before have they been allowed to go this long without feeding on misery. And since they are such elusive beings that no one knows how to kill, it would be ridiculous not to believe that they've managed to find a way out of their prison. Even before they were locked away, Dementors have always managed to survive. How could now be any different? It would be irresponsible to think that way." When asked to comment on the possible Dementor outbreak, the Minister of Magic's office refused to make an official comment on the matter, which in itself is rather concerning.
However, the Secretary of Minister Lestrange was overheard during gossiping to her girlfriends after several vodka and tonics at the Leaky Cauldron. "They look real worried and there's all sorts of stuff about Dementor Lore in his office. Oh! And they sent a bunch of Top Warding Specialists to Azkaban recently! How's that for some juicy insider information!"
Junior Reporter Kevin Entwhistle has recently interviewed several afflicted Witches and Wizards in the area, stating they all seem to have a common theme. Once someone experiences one of those atrocious nightmares, they wake up to a freezing atmosphere, and all the lights in their homes or apartments suddenly snuffed out whether muggle or magical. They also report a feeling of dread, and and advise that the overall feeling is that they will never be happy again. Many also report that after consuming chocolate they begin to experience more normal emotions, which is a well known remedy to bring back positive feelings and happiness after coming into contact with one of these truly terrifying creatures.
Perhaps what is so disturbing about this entire scenario is the lack of response from the Ministry of Magic. If citizens are indeed being attacked in their homes without any knowledge, which seems to be the irrefutable case based on a vast amount of evidence coming to light, then a public warning should have been issued. No such warning has occurred, and citizens are still coming under attack without any tips or tricks of how to stop it. Even providing the Magical Community with a warning would be better than blatant disregard for public safety, and the Ministry needs to answer for this ignorance.
Mayhem at the Golden Dragon By Gavin Lynch, Senior Reporter Terror broke out at the popular eatery Wednesday evening when an sudden attack seemed to spring up out of nowhere. Witnesses state that one of the Montgomery sister's entered the place of business and began attacking patrons.
However, Wandholder Maximum Proudfoot states that many speculations on what actually occurred were incorrect. Initial reports indicate that Emilia Montgomery was responsible for the attack, that the reason behind the deaths of several individuals were hazy and uncertain. That story has since been corrected, and the true sequence of events reported.
"Ivonna Montgomery was working undercover for the DMLE Wandholders. According to inside information gathered by her at this time, there was a Rebel meeting that was meant to convene at the Golden Dragon on Wednesday evening. Due to the severity and danger of their plans, Ivonna was required to react quickly, and the results were, unfortunately, deadly. However, by doing so, the DMLE successfully stopped a terrorist plot to plant multiple explosions around Diagon Alley, which had the potential to kill countless citizens. Lives were lost, and innocents hurt, yes, but the overall victory was worth it in the eyes of the Wandholders." When asked to expand upon the conflicting stories coming from witnesses, Proudfoot refused further explanation stating, "Fear and chaos sparks incorrect speculation. I've provided you with the facts."
The Golden Dragon will be closed for business until further notice. The owners state they are bothered by the events that have taken place within their restaurant, but are thankful that the DMLE was able to thwart a potential attack that could have been far worse than the Carnival Catastrophe. They promise that once the DMLE has finished their investigations and their place of business has been cleared, they will have a grand reopening for the public.