Ginny Lestrange (bigbadwitch) wrote in snitchers, @ 2017-08-29 13:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | char: ginny lestrange, char: rabastan lestrange |
Who: Ginny Weasley & Rabastan Lestrange
When: Tuesday, August 29th
Where: Their Home
What: Unpleasant Discussions
Warnings: Language and Anger
Status: Partially Logged, Continued in Comments
Stepping out of the shower, Ginny sighed and grabbed a big, fluffy towel to wrap around her body. Practice had been brutal and she was sporting a rather sizeable bruise on her right calf. She'd nearly forgotten how rough Quidditch could be, but she didn't mind for a moment. Being in the air again and doing what she loved fulfilled Ginny in a way few other things could. There was one person, of course, who made her feel so much more complete than Quidditch ever could. And he happened to be sitting in his study at the moment. Ginny smiled to herself as she dried her hair and padded into their bedroom. The sun hadn't begun to set yet and she wanted to spend some time reading the new book Rabastan had brought home for her a few days ago. She was savouring the pages, wanting to make it last throughout the week even if the temptation to stay up all night reading was damn near overwhelming.
Pulling on one of Rabastan's tee-shirts and slipping into a pair of comfortable flannel pants, Ginny quickly braided her hair away from her face, pushed her feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers and walked down the hallway to the grand staircase, taking her down to the first level of their home. She smiled brightly at the sweet new maid who was scrubbing the marble floors. "Good evening, Isabella," Ginny said before she turned down the hall and walked a few doors down to Rabastan's study.
Walking inside, her nose wrinkled up at the smell of the burning cigar. She waved her hand at the smoke lingering in the air and tossed a playful glare at her fiancee before walking over to the windows and opening one. Turning back towards him, Ginny took a moment to study his face. Rabastan was like a mystery book himself. Each line in his face gave another clue to his thoughts. He could be read, if one took the time to truly study him. Ginny watched the cigar burn away between his fingers, the end all but dry. He wasn't smoking it at all. And his eyes were fixed on the wall across from his desk, unfocused and distant. She wondered if he even noticed her coming in. His lips told the most, however. They were turned down, a frown where normally Ginny saw a smile.
Moving to his side, Ginny sat on the desk and placed a hand on his cheek, tracing her thumb along his jaw. "What's wrong, love?"
----
Rabastan's mind had been absolutely reeling after his conversation with Lucius. The way he just shut down… his words echoing through his brain. He had never felt so utterly dismissed by his friend in his life, and his choice of language? Nothing sat right. It was as though his inability to automatically okay the slaughter of countless young lives, no matter how much of a thorn in their respective sides they were, meant they weren't on the same page at all anymore. As though none of their ideals in the future could possibly line up. That their partnership, and furthermore, their friendship, was somehow deteriorating. The feeling left a hole in the pit of his stomach. A sick feeling he couldn't quite get rid of. It wasn't merely about the Rebels, it was far more personal than that. Rabastan felt as though he was losing a part of himself. The person who had always been there for him. His very best friend. Could this really be happening, or was he reading into it completely wrong? Was he overreacting? But it didn't feel that way.
And now, he was to allow this same person who Rab didn't feel was entirely in his right mind access to the most dangerous and deranged person they had at their disposal. If he didn't? Truly, he didn't want to consider what the fallout would be. Perhaps his death. Though part of him highly doubted Lucius would ever kill him… he had nearly taken the life of his own son recently. He wasn't about to put the idea past him.
When Ginny entered his study, his mind was so caught up in his own whirlwind of thoughts, that he didn't even register her opening the window. He didn't notice the breeze of fresh air. No, it wasn't until she touched his face that he found himself back in reality, the end of his cigar nearly burnt out. Clearing his throat he snuffed it out in his crystal ashtray before he gazed into the eyes of his fiance. The woman he had found love with, who he felt alive with again for the first time in his life.
And in that moment, he was going to have to hurt her. There was no other way to put it, because when he revealed the information he had been keeping from her all this time, there was no way she wouldn't be livid. That their trust wouldn't be shaken. He was keeping the woman who murdered Ginny's mother in the basement of the house they lived in. It was unfair of him, and utterly cruel, but he hadn't expected this to happen between the two of them. He hadn't expected it to eventually matter. Merlin, he should have moved her, at the very least, months ago. But to where?
Part of him wanted to smile at her, to assure her nothing was wrong and brush it off, but he just couldn't. The turmoil of his internal struggle was apparent in his dark eyes, and for a moment, he couldn't find the right words. There were no good words to use. It was as though the entire English language failed him in that exact moment.
Instead, he closed his eyes for a moment, sighing, his brow creased in worry. Exhaustion. Almost a hint of pain, even if it was mostly emotional.
"Lucius came to see me recently." He began, "And… due to our conversation, there's something I need to tell you. Something I've been keeping from you for all this time, and I.." He took a breath, finally meeting her gaze, so at the very least, she could see his regret. "Ginny, you are going to be very, very upset. Disappointed. And that kills me, but there's no way around it."
---
Leaning down, Ginny brushed her lips against his. The salt and pepper bread tickled her skin, a feeling she'd come to know and love more than she could say. Rabastan was, in her eyes, the most wonderful man in the world. How could anyone think so poorly of him when he carried his grief and pain so obviously? An evil man wouldn't feel any pain at all. Ginny pulled back and smiled at Rabastan, running her fingers through his hair slowly.
"Whatever it is," she said with a reassuring smile, "we'll figure it out together." Ginny wasn't naive. She knew that Rabastan had done awful things in his life, things which would've given her nightmares. She didn't think for a moment that Rabastan was suddenly cured or that he'd stop himself from walking into the darkness if it was needed. But even the darkest parts of his soul were beautiful to Ginny.
Over the last year she and Rabastan had shared so much about their lives, their pasts. Ginny knew more about Rabastan than most would suspect. And he knew her just as well. They understood each other on a deep level and it was because of that understanding that Ginny knew there was nothing Rabastan could ever say that would drive her away. "I love you," she reminded him. "You can tell me anything."
---
Ginny's words, while encouraging, did nothing to quell the anxiety building in his chest. Perhaps she was being honest, for which he would be most grateful, but she had yet to know the true extent of his confession. And he wasn't stupid in the slightest, he knew she would be taken aback, and upset. So even if it didn't drive her away forever, he was still going to be responsible for hurting her, and that was one thing that truly ate at him. Rab wanted nothing more than to give her joy and happiness. To know that he was how going to pain? That was, without a doubt, the worst part.
Sighing, he took both of her hands in his, staring down at their entwined fingers for a moment, hoping the sight would give him more courage. But it didn't. Merlin, he felt like such a bloody coward.
"Ginny," he said softly, running his thumb over the back of her hand, finally allowing himself to meet her gaze, "Bellatrix Lestrange is alive. And… I've known the whole time, because she's been hidden on this very property. I should have told you sooner, I know that. But circumstances beyond my control have pushed me into it now, and all I can do is hope you'll forgive me from keeping this from you. From making you live so close to a woman who took so much from you. I am so… so sorry." He wasn't sure how bad this would be, and a part of him worried she would get up and walk away, never to return. It would kill him… but he wouldn't even blame her…
---
The words hung in the air, filling the room. Ginny stared at Rabastan, trying to make sense of what he said. She saw the pain in his eyes, heard it in his voice, but it didn't matter. If she'd been holding her wand just then Ginny would've blown a hole through the wall. As it was, the end of Rabastan's cigar sparked back to life as Ginny stared at him.
Bellatrix Lestrange had ruined Ginny's life. Losing Harry had been hard. But losing her mother? Ginny grieved for her mother every single day. She carried Molly's voice in her head and her heart. Her entire world was turned upside down when Bellatrix killed the most wonderful woman in the world. And that bitch, the murderous cunt, was here. In her home. In the place she was safe and happy and whole.
Moving off of the desk, Ginny paced Rabastan's study. She couldn't look at her fiance. Knowing who he use to be was one thing, but being confronted with the evidence.. Ginny struggled to keep her mouth shut. She longed to scream at him, to say every hurtful and hateful word she could think of until he felt even a fraction as bad as she did in that moment.
"She's in my house? Here?" Ginny finally turn to face Rabastan, her brown eyes filled with anger. "Where? Where is she, Rab?" Suddenly, the only thought on Ginny's mind was revenge. Her fingers itched for her wand and the urge to find the witch was overwhelming. Ginny could almost hear Bellatrix's screams as she hexed her to death. She had never before desired to hurt someone as much as she wanted to hurt Bellatrix. Ginny wanted to see every last drop of blood spill from Bellatrix's body. She wanted to make the woman hurt, to feel the pain Ginny had been carrying for four years. "I'll kill her myself. Where is she?"
---
Her initial silence was almost worse than her yelling. He so desperately wanted to reach back to her as she walked away, but he had a feeling she'd push off his touch. Lately, it seemed his entire existence was about never having the right thing to say. Was about always hurting someone, and being stuck between a rock and a hard place. He had just experienced with Lucius less than a day ago, and now he had to go through it again with his fiance. It seemed he was destined to hurt the people he cared about, and for a moment, he had to wonder why on earth he had even bothered. This would always be who he was…
When Ginny finally focused her attention back on him, he had to remain calm. He couldn't give his best friend he'd wanted earlier, and now… now he couldn't give the woman he loved what she wanted either. And it wasn't just about not wanting Ginny to become a murderer, because in this situation, he had no doubt she was capable of it. No, as much as he didn't want that for her, it was that he simply couldn't even allow it. If she killed Bellatrix, Lucius would be absolutely livid, and they'd have even more problems than they did currently.
Merlin, he was so bloody tired of there being no good answer. Leaning forward onto his desk he pressed his face into his hands, holding his weight up by his elbows. For a moment he wondered if this is what it felt like to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Or at the very least, the weight of his own world, and the weight of all of magical Britain.
"I wish I could give you that, Ginny. But I can't," he said softly, knowing the words were not what she wanted to hear. That they would make her even more upset. "It's out of my hands now. I wish… it wasn't. But… I can't do anything about it now. I no longer have control of the situation."
Taking a deep breath, Rabastan couldn't help but mutter, "If you want to leave because of this, I would understand."
---
"She deserves to die," Ginny said flatly, but her rage was already dying. Ginny Weasley's temper burned hot and fast, but thankfully she allowed herself to think after it flickered out. Lowering herself into a chair, Ginny pulled her knees up to her chest and looked at Rabastan, trying to chase her thoughts and make sense of the swirling emotions within her head. As angry as she was, Ginny knew that her anger wasn't at Rabastan. He hadn't killed her mother. He wasn't the one hurting her friend.
But then her wonderful man offered her the chance to leave and clarity washed over Ginny like a shock of cold water. "Leave? Baby… no." She couldn't stay she wasn't upset. He'd lied to her and kept something huge from her. Of course she was upset, but upset enough to leave? Did this one act outweigh all the good he'd done? Did it take away from how hard he was trying? Ginny knew, more than most maybe, that no one was perfect. She'd fallen in love with a man seeking redemption. If she turned her back on him now, Rabastan would be broken. And she'd lose the best thing to ever happen to her.
"I won't ever leave you," she told him. "But I can't… she can't be here. Not in our house. I can't stay here knowing she is close. Can we stay somewhere else tonight? Can you get rid of her? Can you just make her go away?"
Rubbing a hand over her face, Ginny let out a long, slow sigh. "He's not going to let you change easily," Ginny said quietly. She knew, of course. Ginny knew who was keeping Rabastan from doing what he knew should be done, from what he wanted to do. "And I know you're going to have to be careful. I understand. It doesn't mean I have to be happy about it all."
----
At first, he couldn't quite comprehend what she was saying. She didn't want to leave? Even after what he'd done? It was… a strange concept to him, and he furrowed his brows in slight confusion as he looked back up at her. She was too good for him, in every way. She was too much light, and he was so much dark. How could she even begin to see anything good in him, he would never understand. But here she was, assuring him that she wasn't going to go. That she understood the difficulties he was currently facing when no one else had the slightest clue.
"I understand," he said with a nod, his jaw tense if only because he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Could this truly be it, or was she hiding her true feelings underneath the surface?
"She'll be gone by dinnertime, alright?" That was a promise. He'd write Lucius after this and advise he had discussed it with Ginny. That he would have her by evening time to utilize however he wanted. And as much as it felt as though he was washing his hands of the situation, he knew that was the furthest thing from the truth. Their problems were just beginning.
"I am sorry, Ginny. I hope you know that. I never meant to lie, or to hurt you. That is the last thing I want in life. I'd rather die than see you in any sort of pain, whether physical or emotional. Least of all pain caused by myself."
---
Spinning her mother's engagement ring on her finger, Ginny let her thoughts take over. She wasn't going to lose the life she'd made. It had taken her and Rabastan a year to find happiness with each other. She'd risked her family, her friends. She'd walked away from so much and now it all felt like it could be stolen away if they did the wrong thing or said the wrong thing. She knew just how much Rabastan had risked when he had George come back. When he let her save her brother. When he turned a blind eye to so many things. But sooner or later he'd have his hand forced and Ginny realized they needed to prepare.
But how? What could they do against someone so powerful? When the world was already divided, already fractured what chance did they stand?
"I know you are," she said with a sigh. "I… I hate that she was here. It makes our happiness feel tainted. But, we are going to have years to be happy and nothing from this moment can be a secret. I know.. I know things are going to get worse soon. I can see it in your eyes. Whatever is coming, you can't hide me from it. I want to know, I want to be a part of it, okay? You and I can't have secrets, we can't try to hide anything from each other ever again. I want to know the good you do and the bad. Because I won't judge you for what you do. Not if it's what needs to be done to change the world."
Rabastan Lestrange could heal the world. Ginny firmly believed that. But he couldn't do it alone and so long as there was breath in her lungs, he wouldn't have to. He'd given her so much, given her the future she always wanted. And Ginny would cut anyone down who tried to take it from them. "He won't win. I won't let anyone take this from us."
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