Backstory! Who: Ter & Mia What: Terence comes to pick up Mia from King's Cross after she gets back from the Battle of Hogwarts. They catch up, get tipsy, and touch each other too much. Where: King's Cross, the Higgs Estate, and then Casa de Terence When: June, 1998 Warnings: SERIOUS SIBLING UST
Mia's mood wasn't exactly the highest on her way home from Hogwarts. The funeral for Albus Dumbledore had just taken place, which crushed her heart to begin with. And then on a more personal level, she was still feeling betrayed and hurt by her first real real relationship crumbling into tiny pieces, and rather publicly, at that. She had made it a point not to tell Terence about that for as long as she could, but eventually, he got it out of her. Even through writing, she could rarely lie to him or keep things from him, not that she wanted to. But she also knew he'd hover and worry, and she didn't want him focusing on her when he needed to be focusing on Quidditch. He had a bloody career to build, and the last thing he needed on his mind was his silly baby sister's heart getting broken by a stupid boy.
She'd live. It's not like she had been stabbed or something. It just sort of felt like it sometimes. And so after saying goodbye to her friends as the train pulled into the station, Amelia took a deep breath as she gathered her things. She hadn't seen her brother since Christmas, which was already too long, but she wasn't sure she could find the energy for her usual greeting.
But as she stepped off the train, that thought fled from her mind as she almost started crying just at the sight of him. He always made her feel better without even a word. Just the sight of him...
Taking off at a full run towards him, Mia jumped at him wrapping her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his waist, hugging him as tight as her tiny frame would allow. Merlin, she would not bloody cry. She would not cry! But the tears streaming down her face told an entirely different story.
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The emotional turmoil that had been Terence's thoughts over the last several weeks had been almost indescribable. First, Mia was keeping something from him. Then, when he finally found out what it was that had had her so utterly distraught, he spent several days seeing nothing but red, contemplating writing quite the variety of howlers with some very poignant threats in them, only subdued by his sister's insistence that he not go out and commit murder. And then, to top off the emotional maelstrom, his baby sister fought in the Battle of Hogwarts, putting her life on the line where he had no way of getting to her, of protecting her when he hadn't even gotten to see her... not since...
All of this was complicated significantly by the fact that she had been in a relationship to begin with. The onset of that ill-fated coupling had led to an emotional upheaval all on its own on Terence's part. He hadn't wanted her to get a boyfriend to begin with, as though he could have told her all along what this would inevitably lead to, but... that was hardly all there was to it, not that he realized that to start.
Rather, as the thoughts of her getting frisky with some guy slowly kept creeping their way into his mind, thoughts of someone else-- anyone else-- touching her started to sink in... Terence's realization that he was in deep, deep fucking trouble slowly sank in. He hadn't wanted to admit it at first-- not until the dream, at any rate-- but after that, after it was his bed that his baby sister was in, his hands that were touching her, only for him to wake up to a reality where it wasn't his bed, but some other guy's that she was in, he couldn't ignore it anymore, much as he might have wished to.
(And he really, really had wished to, if only for her sake.)
If nothing else, it sincerely complicated things, made him far more possessive of her, far angrier at her heartbreak, and far more terrified of losing her than he might have been otherwise. But... since murder was out of the question... according to her... he had to make do with just contenting himself to making up for whatever hurt this fuckwad might have caused her when he came to pick her up and bring her back home with him. The way his heart clenched at the sight of the train's arrival told him really all he needed to know, and it slowly struck him as he waited for her to make her way out that he wouldn't need to bring her back here for school ever again.
That this time, as his arms wrapped around her, his face tucked into her hair, breathing her in, he would never have to let her go again.
It was, most likely, why he wasn't letting go now, either, one of his hands running up into her hair, stalling only when he realized that she was sniffling somewhat. Pulling back, he rested his forehead against hers, shaking his head softly as he held her up with just one arm, his free hand instead reaching up to gently wipe away her tears. "Hey, Pipsqueak," he said, his voice almost surprisingly quiet.
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For a single, solitary moment, Mia's whirlwind of thoughts calmed as her brother's arms enveloped her. Every bad thing that had happened, every bit of pain, both physical and emotional, melted away in an instant. Eventually it would all come back though, especially because her back was still healing from the final battle, and her heart was still far from mended, but for a sweet second none of it mattered. Everything was okay again because she was back home with Terence, where she truly belonged. When he pulled away in the slightest bit, she almost opened her mouth to protest, but instead couldn't help the small chuckle of annoyance at his words. "You know I hate that name," she said softly, pushing out her bottom lip slightly in a fake pout as she leaned into the brush of his hand. "But I suppose I'll let it go, just this once. Because Merlin, I missed you." Leaning in again, Mia pressed her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in softly before she allowed her legs to untangle from around his waist. Because as much as she wanted to linger, she was also more than aware they were still on a public platform, surrounded by people getting picked up by their parents and carted away for the summer, or forever. She didn't need anyone getting the wrong impression of this, mostly because she didn't need Terence getting any sort of bad press.
"Help me get my things? I'm still kind of sore from..." she trailed off for a moment, her eyes going a bit darker than normal as sounds and images of the Battle streaked across her mind, causing her to pause for a minute and regain some of her composure. Shaking her head, Mia ran a hand through her long brown locks before giving Terence a sheepish smile. "Sorry... let's go, yeah?"
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He set her down slowly and reluctantly, not wishing to let her go just yet, not when he'd just gotten her back. So he let her go, but not without leaning in to press a firm kiss to her forehead first. Merlin, he didn't want to let her go.
"Didn't know if I'd ever get to see you again," he admitted somewhat softly in response to her comment, his smile faint and somewhat sad as he reached up to run his thumb over her cheek. "You're gonna have a hard time getting rid of me after that."
All the same, he could only assume that just about the last thing she'd want to talk about right about now was the Battle, and he let her divert the conversation with a soft nod. "Yeah. Let's get your bags." There was another moment of quiet-- all rather uncharacteristic for him, but this was different, a strange amalgam of his-- extremely inappropriate-- feelings interspersed with the sobering knowledge of not only her all-too-close proximity to death this time around, but her heartbreak, as well, and so he could only hope that she wouldn't mind too terribly if he was doing more fretting this time around than throwing out quips and witticisms.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked slowly, moving to grab a cart to load her luggage onto as he scanned the platform, rather obviously looking for the dickbag who deserved to get his balls chopped off in a most painful and brutal manner.
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"I wasn't sure either," she agreed, her voice barely a whisper. Mia didn't want to admit her fears out loud, but death had been an all too real possibility and she wasn't stupid or ignorant enough to ignore that fact. She had been incredibly lucky when so many others had not, and she couldn't help but thank whatever higher power there was for allowing her to stay. Because she truly believed it wasn't just her skills that kept her alive. His words managed to snap her back to reality, and she gave him a small smirk, bumping her elbow almost playfully into his arm as they walked away from the train. "Who says I would want to get rid of you? Like really, Terbear, who else would get my heavy luggage for me?" she was clearly playing around now, trying to get her mind away from the darkness, but the wounds were all too fresh, and it was a constant struggle and she knew it would be for a while.
She pointed to her trunk quietly as Terence asked her that, and she couldn't manage to find words at first. Which was lucky for him, because she didn't notice his searching eyes or she might have pinched him. Instead she eventually sighed, looking up at her brother with her bright Hazel eyes and opened her mouth to speak, but no words managed to come out and she shut it quickly enough, looking away. Instead, she waited until they were outside of King's Cross to try and speak again.
"I don't know what there is to really say, I guess." Which was uncharacteristic for Mia in itself, since she always had something to say. Instead, she looked down at her feet as they walked towards their destination, a place her mother advised she had set up a portkey. It was only a few minutes walk away. "I've never seen so much death, Terence. And when that happens, everything else sort of pales in comparison, so the fact I got dumped and embarrassed kind of seems like the least of my worries. But that kind of still sucks too, so you have this internal guilty struggle about how you shouldn't be worrying about stupid things when you just watched your friends literally die in front of you."
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A part of him, however small it might have been, almost wished that she'd lied just for his sake, told him that she'd been completely certain the whole time that she'd be fine, that she was safe and not in any sort of mortal danger whatsoever. But no-- she'd been worried. And he'd been sick to his stomach with worry, feeling as though he could not have been farther from her in that moment or the rest of the entire night.
He couldn't help but smile at her teasing. It was nice to have the same old Mia around, of course, even if it felt like she was simply putting up a front, which was a good deal harder to accept than he really wanted to admit. She was supposed to be honest with him, after all... which was one of the reasons that he ultimately narrowed his eyes upon their leaving King's Cross. "Did you wait until we were out here just so that I wouldn't have the chance to choke that little fucker?" He wasn't about to mince words just to conceal an uncomfortable truth. Not with her, anyway. "I could still send him a howler, you know."
Her words, however, were undeniably sobering, and Terence scowled. "Pain and suffering is relative. You're allowed to feel both of those things without feeling conflicted or guilty about it. It's not like you don't need to process that kind of thing. Knowing you, you've already managed to convince yourself that you were to blame for him cheating on you."
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Mia couldn't help the small smirk that played on the corners of her lips at his question. It hadn't actually been her intention to wait until they were far away from the train station, but it just happened to work out well that way. And maybe she had planned it just a little. "I've told you once, I've told you a million times, you're not hurting him or sending him a howler. Because I don't need the authorities after you for threatening someone. Or you know, physically harming someone." Because Merlin she knew he would, and that both sort of thrilled and terrified her in ways she couldn't verbalize. Nor could she stop the way her stomach flipped at her brother's protective nature. But that was just Terence being Terence. Of course. Nothing else at all. She'd already had this argument with herself over it too many times...
A blush crept up her neck and cheeks then, unable to look him in the eyes as she muttered under her breath, "I have not." Even though that was clearly not the case by her bodily reaction to the accusation. He told her she had been boring! Wasn't that her fault? If she had been better, he wouldn't have left her! Merlin, she was a mess.
"You're such a pain... let's just manage to make it home, yeah? Speaking of which..." she cleared her throat again, trying to seem nonchalant, "Are you staying over then? No running off back to your flat and your glamorous women and life?"
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He couldn't help but grumble almost to the point of excess at her chiding, rolling his eyes just once for good measure. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. We both know he'd deserve it..." Merlin's ballsack, he still couldn't wrap his mind around it, how someone could lay their hands on her without even considering her feelings in the process... perhaps in part because his rage was damn difficult to rein in whenever he got to thinking about how much he hated her now thankfully ex-boyfriend, the way his stomach began to clench to the point where he'd make himself lose his appetite...
Squinting over at her, Terence pulled a face. "Mmhmm. Sure you haven't. Very believable." Not that he was about to be able to talk her out of that line of thinking, and he damn well knew it. He'd tried before, after all, on a vast variety of occasions that all differed just barely from one another. It always went the same way, after all. He'd try to stick up for her, she'd call him biased on account of his being her brother, he'd try to argue the point and utterly fail...
"Whatever. You don't want to be with someone who can't appreciate you, anyway. No great loss." Besides. Now he'd be able to stop imagining this idiot touching his baby sister in a smorgasbord of unforgivable ways he didn't even want to-- and yet couldn't help but-- imagine.
At her question, however, he hesitated. "I'm staying over. Though, uh... you should know that there are a lot less glamorous women in my flat than you apparently have been imagining there to be." Clearing his throat, he stopped by their portkey, carefully and magically concealed. "And, uh... I know I only have one bedroom, but you know you're always welcome, right? I don't mind sharing a bed with you; you know that." He sure fucking hoped that sounded more casual than he felt.
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Terence was right. For a moment, Mia had actually considered allowing her brother's rage to get the better of him. But after thinking on it, she came to the determination early on that it wouldn't make her feel any better, if only because it wouldn't change his mind. Instead, she came to the conclusion the only way to really deal with it all, was to accept the fact that it had happened, and to move on. She was still currently stuck in stage 1 of that plan, but now that she was home and she didn't have to see him every day, the entire ordeal would be a heck of a lot easier. Or so she had convinced herself by this point.
Reaching out for his free hand, Mia gently entwined her fingers through his, looking up at him with her large eyes, flashing him an encouraging smile. "You're right... I don't want to be with someone who can't appreciate me, and me them. I know that now." Standing up on her tip toes she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw, turning away before her eyes could linger on his features too long and opted to glance at the portkey instead as she considered his latter offer. A part of her knew accepting at this point would be... well wouldn't it be cruel? To knew what she knew, and go along with it anyway. But at the same time, it was incredibly appealing. Alone with Terence for the evening, just the two of them...
"We should stop home first at the very least, yeah? Mum and Da might want to say hi..." there was a hint of hopefulness in her voice, and while Mia knew she was setting herself up for failure, she couldn't help but hope. I mean, their daughter had just been in a war for Merlin's sake. They should be home to greet her, for just a few minutes even, shouldn't they? "Home first, and then pizza. We'll figure everything out later, eh?" she raised an eyebrow in his direction, stepping towards the portkey, which in this instance, was nothing more than a tin can. "Ready then?"
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Her hand in his felt absolutely perfect, the touch of her soft lips against his skin idyllic. There had been a moment-- lasting far too long, really-- where his eyes had closed at the sensation, his breath leaving him...
How could he have gone so long without realizing it? But just as the feeling has made his heart soar for a brief flicker of time, so did the words that followed make it sink again, his stomach clenching at the thought of the disappointment that was more than likely to follow for her.
"Mia..." Letting out a soft sigh, he shook his head. "When I showed up yesterday mum didn't even realize why." Well. At least she had him. They had each other. Maybe it didn't need to matter at all...
"Yeah, let's," he finally nodded, holding onto her hand-- and her luggage-- all the more tightly as he reached forward to touch on the portkey, promptly sending them off.
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Mia wanted so badly to tell Terence he was wrong. That just this once, in basically her entire existence, they would care. That they would be there, if only for a moment. But she knew the truth deep down, she just didn't have the strength right now to admit it. That, coupled with the fact she was apparently a glutton for punishment, setting herself up for such obvious failure.
Instead of saying anything, she stayed silent, just clutching his hand all the tighter as they took off, only to be put down in the courtyard of their home a few moments later. It didn't take long for Terence to bring her luggage inside, and Mia was left standing in an empty entryway, her small hope deflating almost instantaneously. They weren't there. No one was there. She'd spend another miserable summer alone in a too big house. And yes, she knew Terence would stay, but he didn't have to. He had a life to live, and she couldn't hold onto him forever, could she? At the very least, it wouldn't be fair of her..
"Well then, there's that answer," She said simply, her tone flat but giving away undertones of sadness as she looked down at the floor sighing deeply.
"Give me just a minute to grab a few things and we can go." Moving towards her trunk she opened the top with a flick of her wand, grabbing a small bag off the top of the pile and stuffing a bra, underwear, another outfit and nightgown inside.
"Let's just get out of here, Ter. I'll have to spend enough time wasting away here while I figure out what I'm going to do next." She draped the strap of her bag across the middle of her body and smiled at him.
"Ready?"
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His heart sank a little further as disappointment settled on her features into what could only be described as numbness, weary and worn, as though she had been expecting it, and just hadn't wanted to.
He was about to interject with some way to hopefully console her, but... just a moment later, she'd caught him completely off guard with her own words. Wait. What? She was actually going to come stay with him?
Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Terence was quick to nod, albeit in slightly wide-eyed fashion, as he reached out for her hand to take. "Uh, yeah. Definitely."
Apparating them straight into his flat, it would likely become apparent rather quickly that his position with the Prides was paying off quite nicely. Merlin, she hadn't been here before, had she?
"You know, you're welcome to stay for as long as you want..."
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Mia had never liked being alone, which was what made Terence being away at school so difficult for all those years. She had spent far too many days sitting in the house by herself, just longing to be out of there forever. And now here she was, finished with school, and back in the exact same predicament she had found herself in as a child. At least until she figured out what sort of career to look into, anyway, and even then it would take time to build up enough funds to move out. And while she supposed some would be thrilled to live in such a fancy place, it wasn't so enjoyable when you were the only one in it.
Terence's place seemed so much more appealing for the time being, and Merlin, was it nice. Mia knew he had to be doing well for himself, she wasn't entirely dense, but she didn't quite expect the flat she suddenly found herself in. Letting go of his hand she couldn't help but stare wide eyed, taking in her surroundings, a look of slight wonder on her face. "This place is wonderful, Ter," she said softly, looking back at him as her expression turned into an annoying, sisterly smirk. "But I don't know what else I suspected. Mr. Perfect Quidditch Man and all." She rolled her eyes playfully, beginning to walk around more, her fingertips dancing over the clean counter in the kitchen, before her feet took her to the windows, allowing herself to take in the view for a moment.
His offer though, it left her shaking her head as she finally managed to tear her gaze away from her new environment and focus back on him. "Don't be ridiculous, I couldn't intrude on you like that. What if you wanted to have company over? And do you really think you're going to want to share your bed with me every night? Or have me camped out in your living room?" As she continued to speak, she was pretty sure she was trying to talk herself out of it more than her brother. But that was selfish of her, and she couldn't do that to him. It just... wasn't fair to put him through that, or to put herself through it, even if she desperately wanted to.
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For a good moment there, he was worried that she wouldn't like it, that she'd consider it too... modern and minimalist for her taste, Terence holding his breath until she spoke again, a smile coming over his features as stole her bag away from her to set aside. "Don't be silly... just got a good signing bonus with Pride... and the pay is not too shabby..."
His throat felt a bit tight as he waited for her answer, only for his stomach to sink at the answer he'd already known would be coming. "You wouldn't be intruding, dummy," he muttered, heading into the hallway to grab a bottle of wine from the wine room before heading back into the kitchen to find the accompanying glasses. "We used to share a bed all the time, and that wasn't an issue. Not like I need... company other than you around." Hell, he never had.
Still, he knew what she'd meant, and his answer didn't exactly change regardless of meaning. Which meant that the suggestion alone of his putting her out on the couch was completely ridiculous, not that it hadn't been in the first place.
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Mia opened her mouth to remind him they shared a bed when she was a kid, which was different, but she just couldn't bring herself to actually admit that out loud. Because once she did, she was acknowledging the fact there was something wrong with their constant desire to be right next to each other and she just wasn't quite ready to do that yet. She wasn't sure if she ever would be. Instead, she bit her tongue, waiting for Terence to grab glasses for the wine and moved herself over to the counter, crossing her arms in front of her and leaning them both on the shining counter top.
"Well revisit the 'where is Amelia going to live now' topic after I've had a few drinks. And a darn pizza," she added with a wink, debating in her head what toppings she wanted. "I'm thinking pepperoni and onion. And maybe extra cheese. Or maybe just cheese in general. I don't know, thoughts?" she flashed a smile in his direction before she snatched up her glass that he had finished pouring and took a long drink. Yeah, she needed that big time. She probably needed like... 7 more glasses, even though she hadn't drank in... forever. And even then it was only a few.
Mia sat her glass back down, perhaps giving him puppy dog eyes at the same time to refill it before she said, "Thank you, by the way... For coming to get me. For always being here for me. You know, I really don't know what I'd do without you, Ter."
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His response to her almost-answer would have done little beyond make things worse. After all, asking her for clarification on what had changed since then would have forced her hand-- acknowledge the elephant in the room or admit that she could sleep in his bed because nothing had.
Throwing her a small smile, he grabbed his phone to dial the muggle pizza place down the street. "Yeah, hi-- I'd like to place an order for a large pizza, half pepperoni and onion and the other half a three-cheese blend, and be generous with the cheese." Giving them his address, he moved to grab the wine bottle again with a wink in his sister's direction.
"There. Food's practically on his way." Hanging up and making his way over to her side of the counter, he reached to refill the glass from behind her, leaning in more than he probably should have in the process, his hand coming around to gently wrap around her waist until she was practically in his arms. Breathing her in felt a little like coming home all on its own already. "Always, Pipsqueak. You know it."
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As he ordered pizza, Mia bounced on the balls of her feet in excitement. Because yes, Hogwarts had the best feasts on the entire planet, but Merlin, while she was there she pissed greasy pizza and carry out Chinese food and a million other things that were utterly terrible for her. But she could worry about how awful it all was for her later on, after she was in a food coma. And even then, it would still totally be worth it.
Just like this moment was worth it. She was glad she had decided to come back here instead of staying at home and feeling miserable. Even if Terence had stayed, it would have all felt too heavy. Mia knew she needed to get out of the house as soon as possible for her own sanity, less she drown in the silence of the family estate. For a brief moment she wondered if her mother had been too busy shopping that day to greet her daughter....
But all that negativity couldn't stay as Terence wrapped his arms around her. She could feel the intimacy of the gesture, and logic told her to keep it brief, but instead she buried her face into his chest, her arms wrapping around him tightly. He was so strong and solid and masculine and crap she needed to pull away, but just a few seconds longer wouldn't hurt...
Eventually though she did, and it took every once of her willpower to accomplish such a small task. Her eyes went to her wine glass and she took another small sip, looking up at her brother with a small smile.
"Mind if I go take a shower while we wait for food? I won't be long."
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He could have sworn, for just a moment, that she had leaned into his embrace, but it was over before he could wrap his mind around what it could mean, if anything at all.
Of course, that was in part due to the words that followed, Terence's mouth suddenly running dry at the thought.
"Uh... no, don't mind at all. You should take the grand tour, anyway. Bathroom's just down the hall."
It probably wouldn't be appropriate to light candles in the meantime, right? Yeah. Probably not.
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Mia nodded excitedly, interested to get a look at the other parts of his flat as she moved to grab her bag. With it in tow, she made her way towards the bathroom, deciding she'd look around better afterwards. Once inside, she might have... conveniently forgot to close the door all the way. Honestly, it totally slipped her mind! She was just so comfortable, and maybe in the back of her mind, she wanted to be cruel. After being rejected and humiliated, Mia wanted to feel the slightest bit good about herself.
She moved to turn on the shower, letting it warm up as she closed the glass door and began to slowly strip out of her clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor to clean up later. Once finished she hopped into the shower, taking time to lather herself up with body soap. And of course she couldn't forget about her hair. All in all though, it still only took her about fifteen minutes, and when she was finished, Mia dried off her hair with a towel the best she could before she slowly dressed in her nightclothes. Because what was she going to do, put back on her travel garments that she had just gotten out of? Of course not.
Once finished she pushed open the door, walking back out into the kitchen and heading straight for her wine again. "So that was amazing. Your shower?" She make an ok symbol with her fingers, giving him a wink. "I might have to come back more often just to use it. Doesn't come close to the ones at home. Mum would even be jealous."
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Okay. So maybe the open door left him more than a little curious... tempted... but he couldn't. He couldn't. Shouldn't.
His heart echoed hollowly in his ears as he stared at the crack in the door. Ventured down the hall. Hesitated. Turned around again. Only to repeat the journey a few times before the pizza delivery man saved him from his own temptation, his own sinful desire, his heart aching all the while.
Paying the muggle, he set the pizza down, quickly going about emptying his glass of wine and promptly refilling it. He stopped to grab another two bottles out of his wine room just before he saw her emerge, his breath catching, chest tight and painful at the sight of her.
"Well, like I said... you're always welcome." He swallowed hard. "Could move in today if you wanted."
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Mia tried not to notice the look in his eye as she moved to join him next to the counter, instead focusing on the smell of food, and the sweet relaxation of wine. At this point, she was more than certain they both needed it. And while his offer left her ears ringing, blushing even, she couldn't help but wonder if she, if they were strong enough to continue this song and dance every day.
Part of her wanted to say she could, just so they could remain close. Nothing was worse than going to bed in an empty house, or not having him to hold her when dark thoughts got the better of her...
"I'm not sure your closet is large enough for my extensive wardrobe," She teased, figuring resorting to quips and jokes would be easier than being serious quite yet. Moving to open the pizza box, Mia realized rather quickly how hungry she was as she grabbed a piece, not really caring about a plate. It wouldn't last that long anyway.
"Better get on this before I eat it all. And then you're going to have to roll me to bed," She chuckled, taking a small bite. And then a few more... And within about two minutes the entire piece was gone and she had no shame in it.
"Merlin, why couldn't they have pizza delivery at school?" Reaching out she finished off her glass of wine, already feeling a bit lighter, the alcohol lowering her anxiety. It wouldn't take much to get her drunk, of that she was certain. "More please?"
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A part of him couldn't help but wonder why she seemed so reticent at the thought of moving in with him. Sure, it was a one-bedroom, but there was more than enough space here for the two of them and then some. "You know," he said softly, moving to grab a slice of pizza, "if it meant that I'd get to see you every day, I wouldn't even mind upgrading this place to a two-bedroom..."
But he let that thought, too, drift off somewhat wistfully, his cowardice winning out in the end. What if she knew? What if she suspected, if she had her inklings, and the thought disgusted her? He wasn't sure he could handle losing her on account of just how sick he was on account of how badly he wanted her.
"You didn't bring your bathing suit by any chance, did you? It would be a shame if you didn't get to see the wellness center for yourself." Refilling her glass, he threw her a lopsided grin. "And we did have a service there. It just didn't always deliver. Lucky for both of us, your common room was close to the kitchens."
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Little did he know that his thoughts were only half right. Yes, she was resistant, but only because she was internally struggling with her own battle... The battle to not admit to herself how much she wanted to say yes. How she didn't need a second bedroom. How sleeping next to him would be fine. But that just wasn't fair! She shouldn't egg this on because he needed to move on and find a wonderful girl to make him happy. And that girl just... couldn't be her. Right? Of course not...
Mia took another long drink to settle her thoughts, but the alcohol only served to chip away at her inhibitions a bit more.
"Well... it is a beautiful place... And the view..." She looked back towards the window, nursing the rest of the glass of wine before turning back to him.
"I have a bra and underwear. I mean, basically the same thing, right? Could just use a drying charm later." She shrugged at the thought, grabbing the bottle of wine and finishing it off as she filled up her glass again. "You could show me in the morning? Right now I vote we polish off another bottle and... I don't know. Do you have.. uh.. what are they called.. any video games? Or movies?"
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Maybe it wasn't right, but fuck if he didn't desperately want it to be at least acceptable enough that she wouldn't look at him with nothing but disgust upon finding out...
"Mm," he nodded slowly, refilling his glass once more and taking a long sip. It wasn't remotely appropriate, but he nevertheless couldn't help that the sight of her at the window made him feel impossibly weak-willed. He knew he shouldn't be doing this with her, that coming up behind her, wrapping his arms around her, and pressing a kiss on her temple (but oh, how badly he wished it to be her neck...) was something normally only done to dates, to women that weren't one's sister. And yet... we'll. They'd always been close.
"Definitely have movies," he nodded, "but it's been so long since I last got to talk to you like this." Deciding that something in the background nevertheless wouldn't hurt, he moved his hand to remotely turn on his stereo, music resounding through the apartment as he let out a soft sigh.
&
Perhaps it was inappropriate. She had an inkling that if anyone barged in and found them like they were, questions would circulate. But instead of pulling away, Mia leaned her head back onto his chest, closing her eyes for a few moments as music began playing. For just a moment she imaged Terence not being her brother, but someone else who she could do this with... but even that thought didn't feel right. Because how could she love someone who wasn't her own flesh and blood so much? And regardless of the war that should have been raging in her, telling her to stop this now, Mia couldn't deny the comfort he provided. How safe she felt. And Merlin, it had been so long...
"It has been a while, hasn't it?" She eventually muttered, opening her eyes, realizing that her fingers had been gently stroking his arms the entire time. Turning a bit to look up at him, she tried to hide the look of longing in her eyes as she smiled. "More wine, then we can talk about whatever you want. Maybe you can help me figure out what I'm going to do now for work. I've never really given it much thought. Is that terrible?"
&
It wasn't good in the least, the way she was leaning into him instead of pulling away. Merlin, how he wanted to kiss her neck... already was his chin tucked into the crook of it, however, and he couldn't will himself to pull away, either, her hands keeping him as if in a trance as they played up and down his arms.
"Mmhmm." It had. Too long, honestly. "More wine," he finally said after a long moment's reluctance before pulling away with no small amount of reticence. "Coming right up, Princess."
Laughing at her question, he shook his head, opening the third bottle of wine to refill her glass to start. "Not terrible, no. You're lucky. You have a pretty good support structure, so you can take your time figuring it out. Which is good, because I'd hate to see you waste yourself away as... I dunno, a Ministry employee, or something."
&
Terence moving away was almost painful, her mouth nearly telling him to stop, forcing her to bite down on her tongue to stop the unintended slip. Instead she followed him back to the kitchen counter, realizing quite suddenly how thoroughly tipsy she was. Her thoughts were a hazy fog and walking felt as though she was floating through air, a carefree smile on her features as he refilled her empty glass.
Taking a drink she couldn't help but giggle, a mock frown on her face as she pretended to be offended by his words. "Hey now! What if it's my dream to be just a ministry employee or something? What then, Terence Higgs?" She giggled again at her own ridiculousness, her cheeks bright red.
&
Grabbing the bottle and his glass, he nodded over to the couch with a smile. "Come on." No reason for them to keep standing around when there was perfectly pleasant seating right there.
Besides, he mused to himself as he sat down and took a long sip, this meant he'd get to hold her again... and would get to keep holding her.
"Just promise me that if you do decide to get some boring Ministry desk job that you never talk to me about work unless you want me to fall asleep."
&
Mia followed Terence to the couch, waiting until he was settled to snuggle up right next to him, grateful that her hair had at least air dried enough that it wouldn't leave a water spot on his shirt. Plus, it smelled damn good, and she was happy she opted for a shower before the drinking. Because she wasn't sure she'd be able to manage at this point.
Another few sips later, she wasn't sure what number glass she was on, only that it had been quite a few in a short amount of time, and her entire body felt dizzy and hazy and absolutely perfect. Especially considering she was so close to her brother, his body heat warming neatly every inch of her skin.
"Oh no, Terence. If I get a boring Ministry job, you're required to listen to me drone on about it forever." She giggled at that, poking him in the side gently. "After all, wouldn't you want to know all about my secret passion for pushing paperwork?" She was clearly kidding but it was an amusing thought all the same.
&
Feeling her nestle into the crook of his arm was just about heavenly, and he pulled her in a bit closer, just so happy to have her with him again in that moment.
Pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, he smiled, a contented hum leaving him. This was nice, and a part of him desperately wished that it could always be like this.
"If it means I don't have to hear you tell me about what some other guy has been doing to you... I might actually prefer that," he chuckled, trying to ignore the hint of truth in his words, the ache that bloomed in his chest at the thought of someone-- anyone-- other than him touching her.
&
Mia didn't have any more resistance left in her, nearly melting into her brother as they relaxed on the couch. She swirled around her wine glass, downing the rest of the contents, only breaking away long enough to set her glass on the coffee table. Settling back in, she moved so her arm was draped across his midsection, smiling in a content fashion, even after he said that.
"Pretty sure you don't have to worry too much about that, Ter. Boys generally seem interested in just stomping on my heart instead of doing anything naughty." It was mostly meant as a joke, but...well, she also sort of meant it.
"If only the men in my life were half as perfect as your are.." She mumbled it out loud, her current inebriated state making her tongue far more loose.
Gazing up at him with a smile, her glossy eyes taking in his beautiful face, for a moment she considered kissing him. But that... would be wrong. "You need a hair trim," She said instead, her fingers brushing through his hair, gently tugging on the strands.
&
His heart broke as the words left her, Terence shaking his head as he pulled her more tightly into his arms. "Shhh, don't say that, baby girl. They don't deserve you to begin with and aren't even worth the tears. But... I also don't know that I could ever..." Inhaling slowly, he wondered how smart it truly was to vocalize the thought that was about to escape him if he wasn't careful, only for her to interject with a matching thought of her own.
She was right, of course. They weren't. They couldn't be. "If you ask me, there isn't anyone out there who deserves you... but if there were, I don't know if you'd be here right now, so I can't be too terribly upset about that." He was being far, far too honest right in that moment, but it didn't matter. Not right now.
Gently cupping her cheek, he let his thumb trace over it with a soft smile, his gaze slipping down to her lips only briefly before he managed to catch himself. "But then you wouldn't have anything to hold onto..." Uh. That could be seriously misinterpreted, and Terence swallowed hard before hastily adding on, "right now."
&
Mia knew that they were both in far too deep right now, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Instead she let his words wash over her, closing her eyes as her hands eventually fell from his hair. She had to readjust herself a bit, trying to crack her neck and back but not wanting to move too far.
"Don't worry... there isn't anywhere else I'd rather be," She assured him with a sigh, chuckling slightly as he added his addendum to his comment. Merlin, he was so wonderful.
"With that my being said, as puddle like as I am right now, I think I have to move a bit... my back is killing me right now." It wasn't because of anything he'd done, or even their position. She was just still sore from some injuries from the battle.
&
Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he smiled, his expression changing only when he noticed that she seemed uncomfortable. Pulling back a bit, he shook his head. "You should have said something earlier; I could have helped." Granted, if she had mentioned it earlier, he could have offered to take her down to the wellness center, but now...
"Although... I could always just put to the test whether or not I still have magic fingers." His smile was fond, but his thoughts were bordering on inappropriate as he let his fingers run lazily up and down her arm. "Maybe I can still make you tingle after all this time, mm?" Only, the way he used to get her to shiver and laugh years ago was rather different than it was now.
&
"I'm fine!! I didn't want to seem like a baby or needy," She said with an eye roll, mulling over the idea of him helping. She could think of one way for him to... No! She needed to stop. But Merlin, his fingers trailing over her skin caused goosebumps in their wake, and Mia's breath caught in her chest at his words. So many... wrong things. So many wrong and right things and crud...
"I'm sure you can..." She said breathlessly, her voice a bit rough before clearing her throat and looking away, unable to get the visual of his hands on her bare skin out of her mind.
"Would you mind?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.
&
"You're my baby girl," he said softly, his smile almost impossibly fond. "You're allowed to be needy."
He had to wonder what it was that was going through her head at her hesitation, roughly a billion disaster scenarios running through his head all at once. What if she knew, and just wasn't saying anything? If she was horrified at the thought of his seeing her with her shirt off... Merlin, the thought of her shirtless... if he wasn't careful, at this rate she'd feel just how badly he wanted her instead of just thinking it a possibility.
"Not at all," he whispered somewhat hoarsely before clearing his throat and shaking his head. "Uh-- the bed's a lot more comfortable, if you wanted..."
&
"Don't tell me that. I'll use it to my advantage later on," She teased, knowing full well that he'd do anything she asked. It was a powerful knowledge, and one she truly tried not to take for granted. Mostly because, once again, it wasn't fair to her brother.
For a moment she considered his offer, her hand running through her dark hair as she moved a bit to sit up, arms stretching over her head. "Alright... probably for the best. I'm a little drunk and something tells me I'll fall asleep. It'll be easier for you not having to move me," She said, giving him a wink before she stood up and moved towards his bedroom. Once inside she turned away from him, fingers brushing the edges of her shirt for a slight moment before finally grabbing onto the material and setting it on the nightstand. A fresh array of scars marred certain spots on her back from hexes and other injuries caused by dark magic spells. She was a little embarrassed by them, and she turned to look over her shoulder, smiling sheepishly at Terence before crawling onto his bed. The room was spinning a bit as she did so, so it was nice to lie down on her stomach.
&
"Not really taking advantage when the other person is freely offering, now is it?" He threw her a grin-- it was true; he would do anything for her that she wanted, not that she asked nearly often enough in his estimation, if only because he was of the mind that she deserved the world.
"You say that like I wouldn't have been more than happy to carry you to bed..." Sure, it wouldn't be the first time that this had happened, but... in the past, he'd thought of her in a far less prurient capacity. Carrying her to his bed while she was asleep in his arms... Merlin, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop himself from at least trying to taste her lips, for however brief the moment.
He followed her back into his bedroom-- fucking hell-- only for her to take his breath away. First, because she was just going on ahead and taking her shirt off, and then at the sight of the scars littering her back. "Mia," he exhaled softly as she clambered onto his bed, Terence moving to seat himself by her side, his fingers gently starting to trace the path of her each and every bit of marred skin. "Why didn't you tell me?"
&
It was safe to say that the newfound markings on her back would serve to make her a bit self conscious for years to come, and even with the person she trusted most in the world, she couldn't help but look away from him. The last thing on earth she should have been worried about was her looks when people had died, but it was a change for her nonetheless. Sighing softly she brought her thumb to her lips, gently biting on her nail for a moment as she shivered under his touch.
"What would I have said, Ter?" Pausing she added, "They don't hurt anymore. I'm just... tired. And sore. That's all."
&
Back when she was younger-- he couldn't tell whether he ought to have been grateful or not that it seemed like decades ago by now-- he used to take care of all of her injuries, healing her hurt pride and kissing the scuffs better before Celestia could fix her up properly. And now that he was looking at her, it didn't feel like all too much had changed over the years.
"You would have told me that it happened and that it mattered to you," he said softly, his throat far tighter than he'd wanted it to be in that moment. "I want you to be able to trust me with... whatever it is." He was her big brother. It was his job to be there for her when something like this happened. "Because then I could have told you," he slid her hair aside to expose the rest of her back with a sigh, "that I would help like always," leaned down to press a soft kiss to the first of the marks, "and kiss them better."
&
Mia's heart beat painfully hard against her rib cage at the brush of his lips, her fingers tangling into the bed sheets next to her head as his words floated in her mind. Why... how could he do this to her? How could he be so utterly perfect in every aspect? Say the words she needed to hear more than anything? How could his touch drive her body to respond in ways it shouldn't to her brother? He was just trying to make her feel better, and here she was thinking about what it would be like for his lips to be elsewhere. Her nipples brushed against the sheets underneath her, causing her to literally bite back a moan, and thankfully, no sound made it out.
"I do trust you... more than anyone," she whispered, her voice taking on an almost lusty quality. "And you're helping right now. Helping me to feel better. And I need that, Terence. So much..." She closed her eyes, and bit her lower lip to assure she wouldn't say anything more.
&
The moment itself felt so impossibly intimate that he was almost terrified to say anything more lest he break whatever spell they were under. Her body felt perfect under him and in his hands, his lips continuing to ghost over her skin, tracing the outline of each and every wound with small, soft kisses. This was beyond inappropriate for a brother, but she hadn't told him to stop, and so he wouldn't.
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there," he whispered against her skin, his breath hot as he let his forehead come to rest on the small of her back, so impossibly close to the one place he could never let himself stray. "I wish I'd been there to take each one of these for you."
&
She should stop this. She needed to stop this. They should both stop this. His hot breath against her skin only served to cause warmth and wetness to collect between her legs, her toes curling as his lips brushed over more sensitive skin. There was a war within herself between the words stop and never stop, both having entirely different meanings at this point. But she couldn't bear to talk, instead letting out a small, breathless noise of satisfaction. "I wouldn't have wished this on you, love. Even if you would have taken every one for me, you know I couldn't have let you do that." It was just in her nature, and she knew her brother would understand that. But it wouldn't quell his urge to protect her, to stop her pain, and Mia wasn't foolish enough not to understand that.
"Will you rub my back, Terence? Please?" Her words were heavy with need, because even though it was completely terrible, she wanted to feel his hands on her. To imagine what they would feel like in another situation. One they could never be in...
&
What he wouldn't have given in that moment to have her begging for him to touch her elsewhere-- and differently, for that matter. He could feel himself hardening somewhat again at the thought alone, but he did everything he could to suppress his imagination in that moment.
If he couldn't touch her where he wanted, he'd content himself with touching her everywhere else, Terence shifting onto the bed some more. He considered straddling her legs, but...
Letting his hands slowly run up her back, he was mindful to take his time, wanting this to feel good for her if only because he couldn't make her feel good in another way. "Tell me if I'm hurting you," he whispered, catching his bottom lip between his teeth as he did his best to focus on anything but her form beneath him.
&
Mia closed her eyes, trying to relax underneath Terence's hands. And to an extent, it sort of worked. It was safe to say at the very least it felt nice. But the problem remained that her mind still couldn't stop thinking about everything else he could be doing with his hands. He hit a particularly tender spot, and between that coupled with her current mindset, she couldn't help the small groan that escaped past her lips, and the way she gently shook underneath his ministrations. Merlin, she was in over her head. She was so in over her head. Biting down hard on her tongue, her head swam as she closed her eyes. The room was spinning but she was also so incredibly grounded next to Terence, his hands practically radiating heat throughout her body as her pale skin flushed.
It felt so incredibly good. Too good. And eventually the taboo of it all began to drift away, and her consciousness wavered.
&
He had to bite back a groan of his own in response to hers, Ter's hands wavering only for a moment before he kept going. Still-- it was getting harder to resist if only because he was feeling a bit drunk, though probably not nearly to the point that she was... fuck, he sure as hell hoped he wasn't taking advantage just doing what he was.
Still, this position wasn't the most comfortable by any stretch of the imagination, so as he moved up onto the bed to finally just straddle her legs already... his reasoning was perfectly sound, right? Okay, so maybe her ass was in perfect view before him like this, and maybe, just maybe, this allowed him to move his hands all the way down her back and a little further before slipping just beneath the waistband of her panties and promptly running his thumbs back up to her shoulders as he swallowed hard. But that wasn't terrible, right? It wasn't like he was doing anything untoward or improper... not yet, anyway.
&
Mia couldn't help but keep her eyes closed, because she feared if she opened them and looked at Terence for just a split moment, her resolve would vanish. Instead her hands came up to either sides of her head, digging her fingers into the material of the bedspread as he straddled her. His hands, slipping impossibly low then, elicited another small groan of appreciation. It almost wasn't there at all, but in the silence between the two of them, there was no way he wouldn't notice.
She shifted her head to the side, meaning her face was in view as she bit her bottom lip, appreciation and enjoyment plastered permanently all over her features. How could something so wrong feel how incredibly right?
Finally though, after what felt like forever, she managed to squeak out, "You're going to lull me to sleep, Ter."
&
"You're so beautiful." The words left him before he could stall them, soft and quiet but impossibly true, and for just a moment he wondered if maybe she wouldn't look like this in a moment of orgasmic bliss, too... if her face would echo this one if he were to slide his hand between her legs...
Her words stalled his thoughts, however, and he smiled, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her cheek, only lingering for a heartbeat before he pulled back once more. "You say that like it's a bad thing, baby girl."
&
Mia heard his words, and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her features. It meant so much more when he said it, though she wasn't going to admit that out loud. Thankfully, she was alone in her thoughts. Thank Merlin, or they would have gotten her in so much trouble by now. "Maybe I don't wanna sleep. Maybe I want to spend more time talking to you," she said tiredly, finally opening her eyes to look at him, unable to stop the way her heart sped up. "I feel like if I go to sleep, I'll wake up and be back at Hogwarts or something. It still doesn't seem like I'm really here, like it's really over."
And after a beat, "I love you, Ter."
&
"I love you, too." The words meant so much more than they had to have sounded like, and he pulled back after a moment to tug off his shirt and get out of his pants so he might cuddle up to her properly. It wouldn't be fair if she was the only one barely dressed, after all, and more often than not he slept in his boxer briefs regardless.
"Okay," he finally said, tugging the covers up and over them before pulling her in close enough that he was spooning her, his lips just barely grazing the shell of her ear. "Anything you want to talk about. I can even bring the wine back in if you need more of it to talk about whatever it is you want to get off your chest."
&
As her brother began to slowly strip away the layers of clothing, one of the last things truly separating them besides her own self control, she couldn't help but blush an even deeper red. And while she could have taken a moment to grab her shirt... Mia didn't. She just waited until he pulled the covers over them, and pressed herself up against him. His bare chest to her bare back... his hot skin... Mia closed her eyes once more to attempt to steady her heart but she couldn't quite manage whatsoever. Instead she took a deep breath and took Terence's arms, wrapping them around her middle, across her stomach. That was... still appropriate, right? She didn't slide his hands up further to sensitive breasts..
"Don't go anywhere, okay?" she said tiredly, his breath in her ear making more goosebumps rise along her arm, a slight shiver down her spinal column. "I... don't have much to say right now. I don't know if I'm ready to talk about anything quite yet. It just... it's a lot, is all." Snuggling in closer to him, Mia turned her head to place a soft kiss on Terence's jawline.
&
"I'm not going anywhere," he muttered, letting his eyes close as he slowly felt himself relax for the first time in what felt like eons by this point. Merlin, he'd been so worried for her. But now, to have her back in his arms...
Nodding at her reasoning he smiled. "Shh, it's okay, you don't have to explain any of this to me, baby girl. You can take as long as you want. Hell, if you don't ever want to talk about it, that's okay, too." Her happiness had always been of singular importance to him, and that hadn't changed even a little.
He was quiet for a long moment. "I think you should stay." The words surprised even him, but-- it wasn't as though he was lying. He did. He wanted her to stay for so many reasons, most of them absolutely inexcusably horrible for a brother to even consider, but... still. That hardly changed anything. "As long as you want."
&
Baby girl. She shouldn't have loved it as much as she did when he referred to her in such a manner. It should have just served to remind her that she was his sister, his younger baby sister, and yet... Every time he said those words her stomach flipped in a most excited manner, knowing that she would forever be the only one he called that. When had she turned into this selfish of a human though? For someone who prided herself on caring for others, she was being awfully cruel to the one person who meant most. She shouldn't be entertaining the fantasies in her head, or the ones she had a very strong inkling, and had for years at this point, that he entertained in his own.
Staying... would be wrong. For him. It would be the single, most cruel thing she could do... "Okay..." she whispered softly, against her own logic. Against everything in her body telling her otherwise.
&
"Really?" It left him as more of a breath than a word, a coherent sound, Terence's surprise more than self-evident in his tone. Because he was. He'd been expecting her to reject his offer, but the potential of her not, of her actually moving in with him... it was almost too much to bear, and he clutched her all the more tightly in his arms, his face tucked into her hair as he took in a deep breath.
"I've missed you so much," he whispered, just shaking his head against her. To her have by his side, in his bed, all the time? Merlin, that just about amounted to heaven in his eyes.
&
The happiness in his voice, the pure elation at her agreement, both thrilled her and crushed her with guilt. Because she wanted to be here just as badly, but being here.. it made it impossible for him to have a normal life! How was that the slightest bit fair? But a voice in the back of her mind made her question if it was even possible for him to have a normal life. If she found someone, would Terence be able to move on? Maybe it was the only way... but what if it didn't work out, and they just both ended up miserable? Because now that she was back in his arms, no one else seemed to compare. And the pain of everything at school, including her failed year long relationship, began to fade away into nothingness.
"I missed you too. Every day. Every night. That never changed," she whispered, her voice heavy with exhaustion and alcohol. Maybe she would regret this in the morning, but for now? This was utter bliss.
&
Where he had been utterly reluctant to kiss her neck just earlier that same evening, now he was more than happily littering it with kisses, a soft sigh leaving him with almost each one.
"Mm." She was so impossibly beautiful that it made his heart ache. "Now we don't have to anymore." They could just be together, even if it wasn't in the way that he desperately wished he could have her. This was good enough. Even if he couldn't be her one and only, the love of her life, at least he could be her brother, her friend, her confidante. Someone infinitely closer to her than even most boyfriends got to be.