Wow, Anders, thank you. *glows* This comment is utterly exhilarating.
Oh, Snape, my greasy black unicorn. I remember after writing that scene - which I did quite early on, because I wrote this fic entirely out of order, which made me frantic - I sent an email to rinsbane saying, "Right, I'm going to be the laughingstock of fandom, I've just compared Snape to a unicorn." But I knew in my bones that it was absolutely the image I wanted, I could see it so clearly. And by the time I'd finished writing the fic, there were all these other tiny incandescent Snape moments scattered through it, not of innocence, exactly, but moments that, when you put them all together, might make it plausible to compare him to a hunted, bloodied, mythical creature who had this burden of - okay, call it forgotten innocence he needed to lay down. If that makes sense.
And yes, if this fic was going to focus on Lily, then I needed to write their friendship in a way I could believe, and to explain to my own satisfaction the degree to which Lily failed Severus. And it was all perfectly ordinary, one of those petty teenaged betrayals that happens because, at that age, we're all beastly solipsistic little creatures and we think the world revolves around us. Which made it so much more poignant for me, that it should be a casualty of callous youth.
Hah, the parallel between James and Lily and Harry and Ginny! I find it mind-boggling. I ended up leaving out a conversation between Harry and Snape that I might re-insert before I archive the fic, where Snape taunts Harry about this very thing. Because it's so blatant. Along the same lines, I smirked to myself more than once at the meta humor of Lily becoming a Snarry convert. Because her voyeurism is awfully reminiscent of certain preoccupations of mine . . *coughs delicately*
I don't know about anybody else, but for me writing sex scenes is a nervewracking experience. I notice that I generally leave them for last because I apparently need to know everything else that happens in the fic before I set out to cram all the emotional purpose and passion I can into the fucking. Because, at least with this pairing, it tends to be a culmination of all their unspoken feelings and unresolved issues - well, sometimes it's also the consummation, the moment of release.
Okay, I'm going on at great length here and I should stop, but I also wanted to thank you for mentioning the tenderness. Because that, somehow, is what emerged from this fic for me; it's the quality hidden underneath all the most important moments, and I'm glad you were aware of its presence.
Also, passion and despair: without these, it's not really Snape. Or not my Snape.
Sorry, this is turning into an essay, so I'll end by saying that your response makes me incredibly happy. I'm so very lucky to have you as a reader.