Oh, how wondrous! This is a favorite scene of mine from HBP, and you've set it in an atmosphere of dark sensuality, eroticism, and trust.
The dreams, bondage, floggings, and submission are all buttons of mine. I particularly like the way that you take them out of JKR's world, but you keep the characters that she wrote: the emotional strength and responsiveness of Harry and the calculation on Severus' part are so part of their characters that your story flows flawlessly from the books. It is also those aspects of their characters that contrive to bring them together in such a scenario. In terms of what I like to see in Snarry, you could have written this for me instead of darkladyvamp!
And this part: Ah, at last, the respect I have always deserved but never received from him. Until now. It only makes me want him more, not in revenge now, no. But in possession, protecting him as he deserves and as no one else, especially not Dumbledore, will. Yes!!!!! I almost wept at this.