Talks and Silence, for screaminglungs Title: Talks and Silence (2/2) Author:alexis_sd Giftee:screaminglungs Word Count: ~14,400 Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Snape/Harry, reference to one-sided Snape/Lily and some Ron/Hermione Warnings: Post DH, EWE, MPreg, Character Death (not Harry or Snape) Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Summary: Talking to someone, even when they don't talk back, might help a person to understand themselves and those around better. Author's Notes: For screaminglungs who wanted angst with happy ending, Top!Snape, Bastard!Snape, Harry who pursues Snape and well done M-Preg. I loved the assignment and I hope I did justice to her request. Happy Snarry Holidays, screaminglungs, and I apologise if the ending is a bit off, that's because I had to rewrite it at the last minute due to a power cut-out that wiped out my hard drive and I had to rewrite the last few scenes. Also thanks to Mat and Rol who took the time to help me out with polishing this fic. Any remaining mistakes would be mine.
Severus Snape felt someone trigger his wards and clenched his teeth. He should have known that Potter wouldn't keep his word. After all if he had, he would have been the first person to do so in his life. He cast a stasis spell over his potion, grateful it was at a stage that allowed interruption of the process and headed for the front door.
When he opened the door however, he was surprised.
"Professor," Hermione Granger looked rather horrible.
He had excellent memory and it was hard to reconcile this woman with the girl he remembered. Granger before him whose clothes hang on her frame as if on a hanger, whose eyes were surrounded by a pair of purple circles, whose face looked ashen and drawn and whose hair looked lifeless and dull, had nothing in common with the young witch he had once taught.
"Miss Granger." He didn't invite her. "I see Mr. Potter once again managed to say more than he was supposed to."
Granger stared at him tiredly, still her eyes shone with the powerful light of determination.
"I have no idea what Harry was not supposed to tell me, but rest assured he told me nothing. I found you on my own. And it is Mrs. Weasley now. "
"I stand corrected. Still I can't help but feel awfully popular these days." Severus spat. "Maybe it is the far too thickly populated area, I should consider a more secluded spot for my next home."
"I need your help." Granger said after he had finished his words.
"The last person who sought me for the same reason, left disappointed." Severus said bashfully.
He saw a brief flash of pain contort Granger's face but she didn't react in any other manner.
"I know," she said after a brief pause. "Still, I have no other choice but to ask for your help again." Snape finally got tired of her and let his mind graze over hers. He was surprised to find her Occluded. Her eyes showed that she had expected it.
A particularly strong gush of wind made her bury her hands in her pockets and her head in her high collar. Severus himself felt the cold even stronger as he hadn't bothered to dress.
"Come in." He gave in. She was rather interesting, he could allow a little time for entertainment. Her mind was at least one that wouldn't bore him, if she had continued to develop it.
"Thank you, Professor." Granger, no, Weasley now, was as polite as ever.
"I am not your Professor any more." He didn't offer her tea. He planned to be rid of her as soon as humanly possible. Yet he knew she was disgustingly insistent in her own bookwormish style. "How did you find me, Mrs Weasley?"
"Blood magic," She said calmly. Too calmly.
Severus regarded her. He hadn't thought she had the balls for it.
"I am not sure if I am more surprised that you drabbled into such dark and frowned upon matter as Blood Magic, or that you managed to find someone related to me. I'll have to say that Potter's way sounded easier. Why didn't you extract my location from him?"
"He wouldn't speak, ever. He implied he was bound by an Oath and I didn't ask further."
Severus looked at her. She seemed a bit cowered now that she had found him. It didn't seem very much like her at all. He decided that she had changed over the years.
"I am curious to know how many times you had to attempt the spell before it worked. It is highly unreliable when the relative is a distant one."
She seemed to straighten.
"It worked the first time, as it was expected." She answered with determination that told him there was more to her answer than the straight information it provided.
"I am surprised even more." He said not letting her intimidate him. She was neither wise, nor fearsome enough for that.
"You shouldn't be. After all I had access to your child." She said the last as if she was tasting and enjoying every single word.
If Severus Snape was one to sputter and stare in shock he would've done so at that moment. As he was not, he looked at his opponent, for she was that now, and calmly, collecting all of the control that had helped him deceive Voldemort for years and relaxed in his chair. It was Weasley's show. Let her control it for now.
"Harry is pregnant with your child." She said. He saw her hands clench into tight fists. She was not as calm and composed as she wished to seem.
Severus nodded.
He pondered on her words. It was not impossible, he reckoned. He had taken the boy and there had been no protection, the simple fact that Weasley here had managed to use Blood Magic to locate him – it all spoke in favour of her words.
"So did you come here to ask me to make an honest man of him?" He asked nastily.
She stared at him obviously not expecting him to be this vile. She jumped from her seat and pressing her hands on the table leaned over it towards him.
"He'll die if you don't help him." She shouted. "I asked him to go to you, I knew you were alive, I knew you provided those potions that made Rhianna's last days easier," she lost some of her anger at the last words. "I guess I owe you gratitude for that. So, thank you! But he wouldn't hear a word of it. He insisted he'd manage on his own."
She stopped, sat back and took a few deep breaths in a desperate attempt to compose herself. Severus stared at her. This angry determined woman was more like the girl he remembered.
She continued.
"I wouldn't have managed to find you if he hadn't descended into coma. I had found the necessary spell, but I knew he'd never let me get blood from the child to make it work. When he collapsed yesterday I finally did it." She stared at him, her eyes intense and searching, though for what Severus had no idea.
"I'll do whatever you ask me to, but help him, please. Or if not, just use your right as a parent and let the Mediwizards remove the foetus."
Now Severus had to admit he was surprised. He hadn't expected that Weasley would even consider this option.
"He is now in the," the maths was not that hard, "sixth month. It would be quite a serious procedure to remove the foetus. If he is as bad as you say, it might kill him." He added.
She sighed and hung her head defeated. "I know, but his chances are even more meagre if we let the pregnancy progress." Severus observed how her fingers constantly moved, rubbing on those of the other hand. She continued. "After it became obvious he wouldn't manage to carry the pregnancy we all pleaded with him to make an abortion, but he stubbornly refused." She buried her hands in her pockets again. She seemed to get lost in the enormous winter coat. "Help him please."
And she cracked and started to cry.
Severus stared at her. His mind raced to process all the information. He hated sobs and he filtered her annoying hiccups.
At the back of his mind he remembered his potion. He wanted to go back to it and forget the last half hour. Only he couldn't. His personal vow to Lily demanded that he saved her annoying brat once again. Well, at least an abortion was a fast procedure.
*****
Whatever he had expected it had not been the sight before him.
Potter was in a private home and the St. Mungo's staff who had access to him had been bound by Unbreakable Vows to keep his secret. That hadn't been all that unexpected. It stood to reason that the golden Man of the Wizarding World would get the best of everything.
But he had never in a million years expected the sight Potter himself presented.
He was in a house completely devoid of magic and he lay in a simple wooden bed. He looked horrible. Lots of Muggle devices monitored his life stats. He had a drip in either arm.
Severus Snape had thought that Hermione Weasley had looked thin, but Potter was positively emaciated. His bones protruded obscenely and gave the impression that they would pierce his sickly pale skin any moment now. His extended belly was the only rounded part of him.
Severus' mind somehow compared the ugly picture with a spider. And Potter indeed resembled one with his thin limbs and round middle. It was horrendously fascinating.
"How long has he been like this?" He asked Weasley, Hermione Weasley, as there were two with that name in the room with him. He should probably refer to them in name at least to himself.
"He started losing weight three months ago, when his magic began to react weirdly." Ron Weasley provided. "At first he started losing his power or miscasting his spells. That was expected." He looked at his wife with a sad expression. "Then one day his magic shut off. He couldn't even summon a feather."
He stopped and reached out to change one of the sacks of fluids that dripped into Potter's veins. The confident manner, lacking any unnecessary movements, in which he did it, spoke of a lot of practice.
Hermione took over the story. "At first he was fine, and then he started losing weight rapidly. Without enough magic he couldn't support his body, and the Mediwizards seemed to agree that all of his magic got sucked off by the baby. They proposed abortion as the only sensible option, but Harry refused to even consider it.
"We tried magical donation, but it turned out he would only accept magic from pregnant witches. Luckily Ginny could help. But then her pregnancy progressed too far and she couldn't provide enough, and even if she could, by then Harry had become resistant to it.
"We urged him to abort the foetus before it killed him, but he said that if it wouldn't work the Wizarding way, we should do it the Muggle. The drips were his idea. My parents helped. While they are dentists and not doctors, they still know enough and are aware of our world and could work it out." She paused and stared at Potter who hadn't moved even a finger in all that time. "It seemed to work for some time. He was quite well and even started to put on some weight."
Severus stared at her. Putting on meant Potter had been even more emaciated than what he saw and it really didn't fit in his mind. He had seen pictures of Holocaust victims with more meat on them. He concentrated on Hermione's words.
"He didn't fight the need to remain in bed all day long. He listened to audiobooks or watched TV. He did everything that would ensure his wellbeing. Then yesterday he suddenly fell into a coma. And I did what I thought necessary and came to you."
She regarded him with serious eyes and suddenly Severus felt naked before her gaze.
"It is up to you now."
*****
Severus Snape stared at the skeletal figure on the bed. They had left him alone with Potter, giving him some time to reach a decision.
He couldn't understand why Potter had risked his own life over an accidental pregnancy. It made no sense. Not that Potter had a record of sensible behaviour, but that seemed a bit overboard even for him.
"Why did you keep the brat if it was eating you alive?" He felt stupid for speaking to Potter, but it also helped him relieve some of the pressure that had gathered inside him.
He hadn't expected an answer, so he wasn't surprised when none came.
Severus stared at Potter. He didn't feel much for the boy. Yes, the sex had been satisfactory, but sex in general usually was. What really surprised him was Potter's stubborn determination to keep his child. This had reminded him unpleasantly of Lily. What price she had paid when she had decided that she would protect her child at all cost.
Yet, Potter was dying and there wasn't any greater good for which to fight. Severus didn't want to think how Lily would have reacted to his decision to abort the child. It was technically not even an abortion. It was premature birth, but in order to save Potter there was no way they could save the child too.
He had never considered a possible parenthood.
While Lily had been available he had been too young to dream of anything else than having her for himself. The idea of home and family had been ephemeral at best.
When he had been old and wise enough to know that children were what one left behind, he had already lost not only Lily but his own self to his mistakes.
Now his probably one and only chance of ever becoming a father was slipping away. There was no real alternative. Either the child died or it died taking Potter with it. Lily probably wouldn't forgive him for killing her first grandchild, but she would probably hate him even more if he let her son die as well.
One day Potter would forget, move on and have another child.
*****
"Snape?" Hermione Weasley entered Potter's room and routinely checked his stats.
Severus silently acknowledged her presence.
"The Mediwizards are here." She made a gesture to the outside of the room. "You only need to allow testing for paternity and then you can approve of the abortion."
He nodded.
"Let them in, I am ready. It would be wise to do this as soon as possible or Potter might join his parents earlier than planned."
He knew he sounded harsh and abrasive but he didn't care enough to bother with politeness.
Hermione left him and he allowed himself one indulgence, which he had so far denied himself. He reached and touched Potter's distended belly.
It felt firm and it moved – as if the child inside knew its end was near. Severus Snape stored the sensation in the small mental compartment full of all other things in life that he had almost had, but not quite.
When the Mediwizards came in, he stood proud and determined, as he always did in public.
*****
"The baby will be extracted the Muggle way, through what they call Caesarean section, then once it is gone there will be no hinder for using magic on Mr. Potter again. Mr and Mrs Granger offered to help with the first part."
Severus barely acknowledged the middle-aged couple that stood by their daughter.
"You only need to sign this document," one of the Mediwizards took a parchment from his robes. "Only do it outside this house. The magic might disturb Mr. Potter's delicate condition."
*****
They were taking awfully long. Or so it seemed. A brief consultation with his watch proved it had been less than 15 minutes.
The hands of the clock were barely moving. It took forever for the hand that counted the seconds to make a full circle. Severus couldn't believe he found that act fascinating. He forced himself to tear his gaze from the watch.
There was a loud shriek and the door burst out of its hinges.
Snape was on his feet in a second, wand in hand. Distantly he registered both Weasleys were equally ready.
A Mediwizard exited the hole that had been a door and looked frantically at him.
"Come in. Maybe you'll help."
Before the last word was spoken he was running into the room. Potter's belly was covered in blood that trickled down and stained the blue linen that covered everything but his head and belly. He stared at the four people that had been in the room.
"What happened?" His voice was demanding and harsh, and the Mediwizards who had both been his students instinctively cowered under his gaze.
The Grangers were obviously more resilient. "As soon as we cut through the skin and started on the muscles we were thrown back. No one can go near him. Not even to stitch the wounds." said the woman.
"I even tried magic, but he seems to have erected some kind of shield that neither of us could penetrate. Obviously his magic would do anything to protect the foetus." One of the Mediwizards had finally remembered that Severus could no longer take points or assign detentions for speaking to him. "It seems though, that the magical protection doesn't extend to Mr. Potter himself."
"We thought that as the second parent you might have more luck than us." Added the other Mediwizard.
Severus moved towards the bed and could actually feel resistance as he pushed to penetrate the shield that Potter's wild magic had erected. As soon as he could, he drew his wand and cast a healing spell at Potter's abdomen.
He didn't expect it to work, but he could do little more.
It did. Not as strongly as it was supposed to. It only managed to diminish the blood flow, but it was more than anything anyone else had achieved.
He tried another spell, a stronger one – the blood-flow stopped and the skin started to knit together. He cast again and again until a thin pink scar stood right above Potter's pubic area.
When he was done he looked around and noticed that everyone in the room was staring at him.
"Try donating magic to him." It was the male Weasley. He looked hopeful.
Severus Snape briefly considered hexing the man for daring to speak like that to him, but it had been quite tiring to heal Potter. The man had resisted his magic more strongly than anyone ever had.
He turned back to the skeletal figure on the bed. Potter looked even worse if that was at all possible.
Severus banished the linen and sat by Potter then he placed one hand over Potter's abdomen and the other over Potter's heart and let his magic seep into the comatose body.
Potter's body initially jerked but then settled and accepted the stream. It was like a fight even if it was supposed to be easy for both parties in such an act. Severus Snape had to actively push his magic into Potter, almost force it into him.
It was more draining than the spells had been and he quickly felt faint. Potter's condition didn't seem to have changed at all.
The people in the room who actually comprehended the significance of what had happened stared at him in reverence. At that moment Snape hated them all. Even Potter and his brat. But he was too tired to do anything so he stood on feet that felt shaky and unstable and carefully, minding his every step left the room.
Once outside he realised he hadn't enough strength to Apparate to his home, so he resigned and sat on the chair he had vacated minutes before.
*****
"I brought you tea."
Severus lifted his head to look at the intruder. Hermione Weasley looked friendly in a reserved sort of way. He reached for the cup and felt obliged to say, "Thank you." He took a sip and was surprise to discover it was just as he liked it – strong, dark and without any additions.
"I'll leave you alone with Potter." Severus was ready to exit the room. He himself had no idea why he was spending any time with Potter, apart from the magic donation sessions. He told himself he did it for Lily. That she would have wanted him to make sure Potter made it through.
"No, please, don't." She hastily said.
Severus watched her as she drag a chair and sat on Potter's other side. She took his hand in hers, mindful of the i.v. drips and started to tell him about her day.
Severus listened to her going on and on about worrying about Potter and visiting her daughter's grave – he had finally found out that Rhianna had been hers – and how the Prophet had published another article full of inane speculations on Potter's current location.
Potter laid still and only his eyeballs moved occasionally.
"Why are you doing this?" Snape had not initiated conversation with anyone and the others mostly respected his averseness and let him on his own. Now he started conversation.
"Muggles believe that comatose people can hear and maybe even react to the voices of friends and relatives." She looked at Potter and carefully reached with her hand to arrange the man's hair. "And this way I feel like I do something," she admitted.
*****
He couldn't believe he was doing it. But it was because he had given his word to Lily to do anything to keep her brat out of trouble. And no matter what the circumstances had been, it had been partially his fault that Potter was in this condition. Even if Potter should have had the sense to terminate the pregnancy when it had become obvious he'd die otherwise. But Potter had never been sensible and now Severus had to deal with the results.
He read the potions journal. It was a particularly interesting issue. He knew that it was likely that Potter would probably find the intricacies of composing potent non-addictive sleeping potions boring or sleep inducing on their own, but he had noticed that Potter's eyeballs moved more often when he talked.
He had also made the mistake of mentioning it to one of the Grangers. Now he was forced to talk to the man in the bed.
He had decided for himself that he wouldn't follow Hermione's obviously pointless example of describing her day. His days were boring and dull. He barely had time to prepare potions and he was tired most of the time from the enormous struggle that was the task of forcing his magic into Potter.
He finished the article, mentally marking a few paragraphs that he needed to reread when he could also work on the possibilities that were mentioned. He turned the page, having the habit of reading the journal in order.
The next article dealt with enhancing substances of the erotic kind. He mused that this was probably more to Potter's taste.
As he read it, he tentatively looked at the man for any reaction. Potter remained as still as he had been for the last two weeks.
When he finished the mandatory ten pages per day he took the time to straighten Potter's sheets before he made his way out. Potter had put on some weight after he had started donating magic, but he was still too skinny. He absently checked the muscles tonus and made a note that he should develop some foetus-safety potion that would prevent extensive loss of tonus due to inactivity.
*****
Severus Snape had to wonder that even after putting on enough weight to make him look almost adequate, Potter was still in a coma. The Mediwizards thought it was due to the pregnancy and believed that once the baby was born everything would be fine. Severus had his reservations. They hadn't been his brightest students, even if they had gotten the marks that enabled them to study Mediwizardry.
His reading sessions with Potter changed to research on such conditions and their relation to male pregnancy.
The trick was that successful male pregnancies had been few and far in between, not to mention even fewer had been observed and reported thoroughly.
Severus spent a lot of his time reading to Potter or reading alone, trying to discover everything on the matter.
*****
"So, there has been enough evidence that this condition of yours is something of the Potter kind." Snape stared at Potter's listless body. He was still on the thinner side of healthy, but it was probably because his, now seven-and-a-half-month pregnant, belly was far too big in comparison. "Your desire to be unique, Potter, starts to go beyond irritating and well into the realm of frustrating."
Severus carefully turned Potter to rest on his other side, securing him with different pillows and supports, then he started to pace the room.
"All the men who had managed to conceive had either lost the foetus in the first four months, given birth or died trying to. Not a single case of coma and such total magical drainage has ever been reported." Snape turned and made his way back to the bed. "If you even dare to die on me, after everything I had to give up because of you and your stubbornness, Potter, I promise you, I'll personally drag you back to life for the third time, only to kill you myself. And you can trust me; I'll do it slowly, painfully and permanently, unlike Voldemort. You have my word on it."
*****
"The potion was supposed to turn cerulean, you know, the kind of blue that is the sky at noon in a cloudless July day. Instead, it had a greyish nuance. I will definitely write to the editor and inform him that he should be more careful and check for mistakes before the edition is released.
"After all some fool who believes that he doesn't need potions prepared by a Master and saves money by idiotically following such recipes will fall dead because of a simple error. Most would never even notice the colour inconsistency with the one mentioned in the recipe.
"You for example wouldn't. Well, it is highly likely that your potion would be pink or purple, but that's another matter entirely."
*****
" herbs on sale in Diagon Alley were just horrendous. I can't believe that any self-respecting brewer of average class would ever touch such trash. I had to go to Aberdeen to procure fresh and quality ingredients. That is disgusting.
"And the children have even less respect for rules and propriety than you, Potter, which must be bred or taught to be this developed."
*****
Severus Snape had barely managed to enter the house when Hermione Weasley attacked him.
"Something is wrong and we have no idea what." She wasn't shouting or crying, but it was probably only because she knew he abhorred it.
Severus lengthened his steps and hurried towards Potter's room. In front of the door there was some kind of conference – everyone talking and no one doing anything. He sneered in disgust. Typical.
He steered them aside and entered the room. No one followed him. He turned and saw the others staring at him.
"Are you going to come and see what is going on, or are you continuing that pointless shouting contest of yours?"
Hermione was the first to move, her steps hesitant.
"Until now, none of us could go beyond the door. His wild magic somehow prevented us." She was walking toward Potter but as soon as she tried to go ahead of him she stopped. "You have to go first. I can't move ahead of you."
Severus went to Potter. He seemed kind of tense. He hadn't moved in the literal meaning of the word but his muscles seemed to be tense.
By now he knew how to use the foetal monitor, Merlin, he probably knew as much as an average Muggle gynaecologist as far as textbook knowledge went. He hastily worked to check the stats of the baby.
The resulting stats indicated the beginning of labour. He looked around for the Grangers.
It had been decided in advance that, since Potter lacked the proper plumbing, he would be delivered via caesarean section. Severus had provided a potion that would anesthetise Potter without causing any harm to the baby, even if the surgery went on longer than the usual.
It had all been practiced and he withdrew to allow those who had the greatest chance to do the things right take their places. The room was hardly sterile, but once the baby was delivered Potter would be magically accessible, hopefully and they'd deal with everything.
"It is pointless. We can't even break the skin." Mrs. Granger announced.
Severus made his way back to Potter's side, now on a special bed with stirrups for the caesarean. "Show me!"
Mr. Granger positioned the scalpel and pushed it into the skin, which didn’t give it. "Do you think your magic would work in this case?" The man asked with the respect of someone who would never know magic as a caster.
Severus considered it. "So far Potter's had adverse reaction to every attempt at magic aside from the donations and even those were hard work." Still he raised his wand and cast a spell that cut skin. Potter's skin obediently separated and blood trickled into the sterile sheets.
The Mediwizards came to the front and lifted their wands to take it up form there.
At the first spell Potter's body contorted. They both retreated.
"Obviously, you'll have to deliver the baby." The younger said. He proceeded with explaining the wand movement and making sure Severus could pronounce the spells correctly.
Severus swore at Potter for good measure and cast.
Potter's belly opened and he hurried to extract the baby, giving it to the ready hands of the Mediwizards. He cast the spell to severe the umbilical cord and then started on the spells that would deliver the placenta and knit together the tissues. As usual the healing took a lot longer than the cutting. At least now that the baby was extracted, Potter reacted to magic as expected. In the end, not even a scar remained to remind Potter of the birth.
"Congratulations, Snape." Hermione Weasley cast a cleaning charm on his hands and before Severus could react he had a handful of naked baby.
A boy. He had somehow missed that in the haste of the birth. The child was small and soft, pink and slightly wrinkled. His eyes were the undetermined blue-grey colour that all newborns had. The head had tiny black hairs that felt like silk.
To himself Severus Snape couldn't believe he was a parent to something that exquisite. His son was not exactly beautiful, but he was like a delicate living sculpture. Severus settled the child in his bended arm and the fingers of his free hand tenderly brushed the soft skin.
He looked at Potter. He was still comatose.
He lifted his head to see Hermione looking at the child with longing and the tiniest bit of sadness in her smile.
"Did he mention any names?" Severus finally asked. He prepared himself for having to think of his son as James, Sirius or Remus.
She shook her head. "Harry only mentioned that he wanted the child to have his own name. Name that didn't invoke any recollections of another person. He said, he was to be his own separate person and wouldn't need to live up to someone else's name."
Snape was surprised. He had noticed that Potter had matured, but in some aspects he had been the same boy he remembered from his years as a teacher.
The baby – Jorram – expressed his excitement by making bubbles of saliva.
"Do the names mean something?" Hermione asked.
"No." Severus touched the Jorram's small palm and his finger was caught in an unexpectedly strong grasp. "He will have the opportunity to give meaning to his name."
*****
Severus Snape had never been in contact with children younger than eleven. He had never wanted to be around any. He also wasn't a tactile person. He liked to keep to himself.
So he was surprised what pleasure he derived from his son.
For the first time he had some human being that he could call his. That wouldn't turn their back on him. That didn't judge him.
It was a new and satisfying experience.
Potter remained in coma. He hadn't responded to attempts of Ennervate or other spells for bringing someone back to consciousness.
*****
"He is three weeks old, Potter. And he has great appetite. I managed to arrange for breast milk, from a witch that was willing to earn some money."
At least twice a day Severus brought Jorram to Potter's room and they spent there some time. He had moved in at some point during Potter's pregnancy and now he visited his house only when he wanted to use the lab.
"Don't worry, I personally, well Polyjuiced, made sure she was healthy and I check the milk before I feed Jorram."
*****
Severus was walking down the stairs bringing Jorram for their daily visit to Potter, when first the monitoring charm on Potter alerted him to some change in the man's condition and then the door to Potter's room exploded to splinters. A loud almost inhuman wail came from the room. Severus looked at his son. He ran to the living room and put him in the crib there before he went to see what was wrong with Potter.
It was one of the rare instances that Potter was left alone without overseeing.
As soon as he entered the room he saw Potter was awake. He was shaking violently in his attempt to get up, while his long-unused muscles were barely reacting to his commands. One of his hands was clutching at the flat abdomen that had cradled their son.
Everything in the room was turned to shards and pieces.
"Potter!" Severus shouted, trying to overcome the ear-splitting sounds that Potter made.
He got no reaction.
Severus was left with no other option and stunned the man. He could only hope that it wouldn't somehow throw him back in coma.
*****
Part three – Harry: Determination
He felt weak. Even opening his eyes required effort in moving muscles he had never before thought of. But when Harry finally managed to not only open, but also focus his eyes, he was faced with a row of smiling faces. Ron's, Hermione's, the Mediwizards', he had hired, the Grangers', and then he saw Snape's. He would have recoiled if he had the ability to. Then Snape stepped closer and Harry could see that Snape held a baby.
"Jorram Thair Potter." Snape's voice sounded weirdly warm and concerned. The man sat by Harry and let him see his son. "He is 5 weeks old. Born on May 13."
Harry stared at his son. He tried to lift a hand to touch him and Snape placed the baby on Harry's chest, carefully keeping him there. It weighed a ton, but Harry managed to shakily lay his hand over the soft baby. His fingers trembled horribly as he gently moved them to feel the skin of his son.
He felt his eyes tearing, but he barely controlled his body, so he let them flow down his temples.
He heard sobs and when he lifted his eyes he saw Hermione clutching Ron's robes and crying.
"I'm fine," Harry couldn't recognise the horrible croak that left his mouth. And it hurt to talk. Hermione smiled at him and bent over him to embrace him, all the time mindful of the baby.
"Oh, Harry, I am so happy that you are awake."
Snape smirked, but surprisingly left the emotional display without a comment.
*****
Even with Snape's potions it was more than a week before Harry could walk on his legs and even then the short distance to the living room made him feel faint.
Snape brought Jorram to Harry a few times each day and Harry spent some time enjoying his son. Sometimes he still woke in the night to the nightmare he had woken form the coma – with flat belly and no one around, to the horrible realisation that his baby was gone. Then he would wake up and remember that Jorram slept upstairs in his room.
Harry couldn't believe Snape would care for a baby and if he had to only trust the image Snape presented he would have never had reasons to suspect otherwise. But his friends had told him of Snape's behaviour and now Harry spent his time studying Snape.
*****
Three weeks after he woke from the coma Harry was as good as ever. He had regained his mobility and strength and he could finally leave the bed.
"I need to return to my home, Potter. I can't afford to lose more time on pointless activity." Snape announced as soon as Harry was healthy.
If he had not looked for it, Harry would have missed the final wistful glance that Snape cast in the general direction of the baby in Harry's hands.
"Maybe you'd want to visit Jorram occasionally. Or I can bring him to you." Harry offered peacefully.
"I have no need for whiny infants, Potter. I had more than enough of it already. I need my peace and quiet." Snape's voice was flat and emotionless.
For the first time Harry wondered how many time that voice had hidden emotions too strong for Snape to let other people witness.
"Ok, but just so you know. You are always welcome to come and see him." Harry shifted his arms so that Snape would see Jorram's sleeping face. "Or you can send an owl and I'll bring him to you."
"As I said, that won't be necessary." Snape made his way to the door.
Harry followed. "Thank you," he finally said, "for everything. I…we owe our lives to you. I won’t forget it."
*****
"Potter, what is the meaning of all of this?" Snape's voice was demanding and harsh.
"Welcome," Harry smiled arranging the now four-month-old Jorram in his arms. "Would you like to come in for tea?"
Snape's jaws clenched together, but he still made his way in and Harry noticed the glance at Jorram.
"Well?" Harry asked once Kreacher had served them tea and snack. Harry had moved back to 12 Grimmauld Place after he had recuperated and magic was not a problem any longer.
"I demand that this harassing is discontinued immediately." Snape threw on the table a bunch of parchments.
Harry looked at them but didn't reach, using the fact that Jorram was leaning on his arm and his other hand was currently holding a biscuit. He noticed that the number of parchments didn't quite match the number of letters he had showered Snape with, but didn't comment on it. Neither did he mention the rather used state of those. Instead, adopting an innocent and surprised expression he said.
"I just thought that since you don't see Jorram any more, you'd want to know what's going on."
Harry had stared to write long and descriptive letters each evening and to send them using Pig, knowing that the owl was annoying and insistent and Snape would prefer to acknowledge them rather than submit himself to Pig's often intolerable behaviour.
"Potter, I demand that you cease with this, which can only be termed as harassment. I expect to never see you horrible writing addressed at me." Snape quickly stood up, not having tasted his tea, and moved towards the exit.
Harry jumped and asked at Snape's back.
"Look, I am sorry to ask, but since you're here, do you mind overlooking Jorram for a few minutes. I really need to deal with some business and I have no one to ask to look after him right now." Snape stopped but didn't turn.
"I have potions that demand my attention." He said almost defensively.
Harry smiled at Snape's back. "Please, I really need to do it." He insisted.
Snape finally turned and Harry saw his face was calm but there was something in the eyes of the man…something almost hopeful.
"Fine, Potter, but make it quick. I don't have whole day to deal with this prat.
*****
"Potter, are you mocking me?"
Harry was once again facing Snape at his door.
"I am sorry, it was never my intention." He said cordially. "Please come in." He didn't wait to see Snape's reaction, knowing that given the chance the man would stubbornly stand at the threshold.
"Potter, I am not here on a social visit." Snape stood in the middle of the room, his eyes quite purposefully avoiding looking at Jorram's cradle. "First the letters, and now this."
This time it was a set of Wizarding photos that he threw on the table.
Harry suppressed the smile that was threatening to emerge on his face since Snape's arrival. "I just wanted to give you something of him."
"I don't see the necessity of this act." Snape said still staring Harry in the eyes and not acknowledging anything else in the room.
Then, before Harry could react he hastily left the room and the house.
*****
The tiny bell that rang when the door of the small grocery was opened or closed, announced that a new customer had entered.
Harry didn't turn, even if he knew perfectly who was behind him. He took back his credit card and then turned pushing the small pram on his left side. The act was strategically planned to get him in front of Snape.
"Good afternoon," he cocked his head in greeting.
Snape's jaw clenched but he didn't react in any other way. Then the man navigated his way between the pram and the fruit stand, presenting his back to Harry.
Harry just smiled and pushed the pram towards the door. He found this weird form of pursuit – he was not sure if it was courting – quite entertaining. He had realised that he was becoming more and more interested in Snape and not just as the other father of his son. A few erotic dreams featuring Snape's elegant long-fingered hands had indicated that probably on a subconscious level he was attracted to his former teacher.
Once outside, he looked through the window and caught Snape's head turning to look back at the grocer.
*****
"What are you doing here, Potter." Snape's voice was cold and tense.
"Oh, I was telling Jorram of Hogwarts and I thought that it would be nice to show him your herbs." Harry smiled genially at Snape. He had made sure to meet the man as often as he could since he had moved back to the cottage he had hired the previous time he had been in the area.
"I was asking in the more general sense. Why did you move here?" Snape looked at Harry who was just outside the fence, but occasionally his gaze would shift to Jorram, whom Harry held in his arms.
"I like the place. No one knows me and no one pursues me for an interview or an autograph. It's a nice place for a child to grow up." Harry said.
"Don't give such inane reasons." Snape said derisively. "You should know better than to expect me to believe this. You like it in London."
Harry looked at him. "I like you too," he finally said quietly. "And I'd like to have you in our lives."
Snape stared at him for a second. Then he turned and headed for his house.
Harry didn't try to enter Snape's yard. He was still bound by his vow and that meant that he wouldn't demand anything of Snape. It wouldn't stop him from pursuing him though.
*****
"You are quite persistent, Potter, I'd admit that." Snape stared at Potter.
It was Christmas morning. Normally Harry would be over at the Burrow or have his friends and adopted family over at Grimmauld Place, but this time he had a reason to prefer this place to any other.
"I brought you a present from the two of us." Harry stood at Snape's threshold and extended his hand with the festively wrapped packet.
Snape stared at it as if he suspected it was noxious, but then took it and after some thought he moved from the door and made some space. He didn't voice an invitation, but Harry had learned to read Snape's small gestures.
Harry was not at all surprised when Snape led him towards the lab. It was just like Snape to work on Christmas. That way it was probably easier to get through a holiday he had no one to share with.
Harry didn't comment, when upon entering he found his chair where he had left it more than a year earlier. He just used his wand to Trasfigure in into a bigger one and sat with Jorram riding his thigh.
He noticed the charm Snape performed that ensured the fumes from the potions wouldn't reach their son.
*****
On the last day of the year, Harry came to Snape once again. He touched the wards to alert Snape to his presence, but didn't step into the yard.
"What is the reason for your visit this time, Potter?" Snapes voice sounded tired.
"I'd like to invite you to meet the New Year with us." Harry said.
"And who would be 'us'?" Snape asked grudgingly.
"Jorram and me." Harry pushed the pram to indicate his words. "We don't want to be alone and thought you'd join us for company."
"You can always go to London and all your friends." was Snape's stubborn reply.
"OK, I want to spend the evening with you and to be the first to wish you to have a happy new year." Snape's face was disbelieving. "Will you come?"
"I hate to move around. You come here." Snape finally gave in. "And if you want anything fancy, you'll take care of it."
*****
Dinner was an amiable affair even if Snape remained silent through most of it. Harry made a few attempts to fill the silence but then realised that Snape neither liked it, nor had any intention to converse.
They had tugged Jorram in early in the evening and then silently ate. Later they sat on two chairs by the fireplace, sipping wine and waiting for the clock to strike midnight.
Once the clock started to chime, announcing the beginning of the New Year, Harry went to Snape and quietly whispered, "Happy New Year."
Then, before Snape could withdraw or react in any other way, Harry leaned over him and placed a kiss on the man's lips. Snape froze, but Harry gently insisted. He licked Snape's dry lips, seeking entrance.
Harry placed a hand on Snape's cheek and another on his nape and tried to communicate his plea.
When he had almost lost any hope that Snape would respond, the lips beneath his softened and opened slightly. Harry slowly probed with his tongue and tasted Snape's mouth. This time he was fully conscious and he could actually register that Snape tasted of wine and herbs. And he took part of the kiss, exploring Harry's mouth back.
It was an uncomfortable position and Harry tried to sit in Snape's lap, because his back was starting to hurt. But Snape pushed him and Harry ended falling on the floor. Snape looked at him with mild amusement.
"Are you that desperate, Potter that you'd sleep with me?"
"I like you, I told you. And I hope you like me back. I just wanted to make sure you understood." Harry sighed and stood up. "If you're not ready, I'll wait."
"Are you serious, Potter?" Snape's voice was quiet.
"I'm not playing games, if that's what you're asking." Harry sat back on his chair. "I just want to be with you, if you want me of course," he hurriedly added.
Snape stared at Harry for some time. Harry nervously paced to Jorram's cradle to look at the sleeping baby.
"Is it because you still love my mother?" Harry couldn't believe he had asked that. He turned fearing what expression he would see on Snape's face.
"No, Potter. It is not about your mother." Snape stared beyond Harry at something only he could see.
Harry sighed. "Is it that you don't feel attracted to me?" He knew that if that was the reason, he would have to admit defeat.
Snape didn't answer. His face betrayed nothing. Finally he stood and approached Harry. Then he took Harry's chin. Tilted it up and kissed Harry.
Harry willingly returned the kiss and his hands instinctively circled Snape's waist.
The kiss deepened and Harry's hands stared to travel up and down Snape's back, while Snape's reached for Harry's arse and pulled him closer until Harry could feel that Snape desired him.
Snape let go. Harry groaned.
"Does this answer your question?" Snape looked amused.
Harry smiled. "I think I'll need a bit more extensive answer, if I am to be completely sure." He reached again and this time the kiss was hard and intense and Harry let his hands roam all over Snape's body.
He could feel Snape pulling at his clothes and Harry let go of Snape's body to get his hands through the sleeves, then he hastily removed his sweater.
When his torso was naked he reached for Snape's clothes and once again cursed the long row of tiny buttons. It the end he decided to unbutton only the top few and to pull Snape's robe over his head. He did the same wit the clothes beneath.
Then he pressed his chest to Snape's and kissed him again, feeling. Hands touched heated skin and explored the flesh beneath. Harry kissed Snape's neck and licked at the hollow above the breastbone. All the while his hips pushed and rubbed at Snape's.
The pressure on his cock felt great and he hoped it was the same for Snape.
Then Snape pulled back and Harry swayed to follow him. Snape's hands gripped his shoulders. "I am too old to do this on the floor."
"Oh," Harry nodded. "Of course. Lead the way."
Harry didn't notice Snape's bedroom and all he cared about was to return to exploring Snape's body. Before he reached the bed, Harry unbuttoned his trousers and together with his boxers, he pushed them to the floor. He noticed that Snape was also naked and he looked at the man.
They made their way to the bed and once again started to kiss and touch. This time they were slow and thorough and Harry didn't care about Snape's body being thin and bony or that his skin being sallow. All that he cared about was that Snape's hands discovered every sensitive area on his body and took the time to tease it, driving Harry insane with arousal.
When Snape's hands reached for his bottom, massaged the cheeks and pressed at the wrinkled skin of his anus, Harry was ready to plead for him to hurry. Snape just took his time and slowly prepared Harry, brushing his prostate and rubbing his thumb at the perineum. When he slid in, Harry welcomed him and encircled him with his legs encouraging him further in.
Snape continued to go slowly, withdrawing and thrusting leisurely, occasionally aiming for Harry's prostate, just to keep him on edge without letting him cross over.
Harry pleaded and moved his pelvis and tried to hasten the tempo but Snape remained in control. Desperately Harry reached for his cock, needing the release before he died of arousal, but Snape grabbed his hands and spread them holding them with his.
Then Snape's thrusts became shorter and faster. Harry lifted his hips to meet them. The intensity of their coupling reached a frantic tempo and Snape almost violently moved in and out of Harry.
Harry keened and screamed, feeling that he would probably explode as soon as his cock was touched. But Snape kept his body elevated enough not to rub at Harry's cock and their hands were pressed deep in the bed under the pressure of Snape's body.
And then Snape tilted his pelvis and the next short trusts hit Harry's prostate so precisely that he climaxed without his cock being touched. He trembled and his whole body was raked by spasms of pleasure.
At some point he felt Snape leaning heavily over him, but he didn't care. He felt so satiated that he couldn't move. He fell asleep almost immediately.
*****
When Harry woke up it was still dark outside and Snape was pressed to his back, an arm keeping Harry close.
Harry hated the idea of getting up, but he needed to check on Jorram. He tried to leave the bed without disturbing Snape, but he felt the man move behind him.
"Sleep, I'll just go check on our son." Harry felt good saying 'our son.'
"No need, I moved the cradle in this room and placed a monitoring charm before I fell asleep," Snape mumbled from behind. "Go back to sleep."
Harry entwined his fingers with Snape's and snuggled closer to the man. "Thank you."
"Shut up, Potter, and let me sleep," Snape said roughly.
Harry closed his eyes and his last thought was that he wouldn't mind hearing these words every night.