Provocative
I really enjoyed Harry's stream of thought as he was having his mind jumbled with Legilimens. The dream logic was realistic and well written. The way you described occlumency as something tangible to be 'found' and 'unfurled' was intriguing.
Both Snape and Harry are very IC in this: Snape is forbidding but not heartless, which is obvious in the way he looks after Harry even as he insults him, healing him even as he invades him, helping him even as he condemns every aspect of Harry's character. And Harry gets right back on his feet every time he's knocked down, without fail. Their interactions are marvelously canon.
Even more impressive, though, is that you are able to construe Harry's despair without coming across as unbearably angsty; and by the end, just when it seems hopeless that Harry will ever find common ground with Snape, you give them a second chance.