Hey, fabulous fic inspires me! When I love something, I always have the mad urge to gush. Preferably in detail. :)
And yes! *preens* I guessed it was you! I only ventured two guesses during the entire fest, and I was right about both. (The other was sinick and ac1d6urn's fic.) It's mostly the cryptic, oblique texture of the emotional subtext, especially where Snape's concerned, that gave you away. You've got a knack for compressing tension and ambiguity into physical details, and you're fantastic at capturing that suppressed intensity of Snape's. Also, I might almost say you've got a signature tone, something that resembles hope crossed with despair. It's here, too and that provided a hint. It's part of what commands my total involvement in your fics, the irresolution and unsatisfied hunger that runs through them, hope dashed and revived repeatedly until the end, where it's either answered or . . not. Heh. But then, as crazy as it makes me, I love fics that leave me hungry.
the exposure of feeling that comes with exhaustion, and the almost rape-like sensation of Snape's Legilimency
Yes, and that's part of the terrible fascination of the Legilimency sessions, that they're structured like non-con and they're unquestionably a violation, and yet Harry invites them, insists on them. And these acts of assault and resistance are a large part of what draws them together, teaching them intimate things about each other of which they never speak. But they know things now they can't unknow. And the erotic silence, as they strive against each other, in utter privacy, sweating and mentally intertwining - *purrrrrrrrrs*
I like the small alterations you've made here, not just in Snape's commitment to teaching, but also in Harry's commitment to learning. It's one of the things that drives me bats about canon!Harry, how little he exerts himself to learn the very things that might help him survive. If JKR's intention is to portray Harry as a quintessentially ordinary (if somehow divine) teenaged boy, then she's outed the average adolescent as little better than a dunderhead.
I do tend to think that any devoted or even positive feelings on Snape's part would of necessity be secret - he's spent his own lifetime, and most of Harry's, concealing every bit of decency and warmth he possesses and denying its existence to those who don't exactly have his best interests at heart.
In a response to someone here, you refer to your own style as "opaque." Perhaps that's what makes you so suited to writing Snape. His reasons for doing anything are generally inscrutable or dual in nature, and you turn this opacity to account and give it an exquisite, almost heart-wrenching translucence. Because Snape is never entirely light, never entirely clear - but when something shines through him, it can be shockingly poignant. And it's often Harry's innocence that allows, or even demands, that he reveal himself. Because Snape is both too Slytherin and too deprived - too famished even - not to reach out for what he wants if Harry shows him the way.
Thank you for the joy of such a unique and hauntingly written and emotionally buttoned-up (in the classic Snapish sense!) fic. *massive hugs back*
And congratulations on Sectus 2009! Can you feel the waves of envy from there? They're coming from over here. :D