Everything in this made me laugh like crazy. But these lines in particular:
"Draco," Blaise interrupted. "I regularly pick up magazines with men whipping each other and having sex, and that's still a thousand times less gay than having to dance like this. It's embarrassing."
and
"Who doesn't love Draco Malfoy?" Draco answered. "That's like saying, ‘You know what I really hate? Orgasms. Really fantastic orgasms. Can't stand ‘em.' No one hates orgasms. Ergo, no one could possibly hate me."